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Paying Maintenance or Child Support

By: Angela Armes - Updated: 3 Nov 2019 | comments*Discuss
 
Maintenance Paying Maintenance Child

Many parents when they split from their partners find themselves paying maintenance or child support to help with the cost of bringing up their children. This figure is designed to help the parent looking after the children cope with the financial strain after the other parent has left the marital home and thus ceased to contribute a salary.

Arranging to Pay For Your Child

There are two ways to arrange financial payment for your child who does not live with you:
  • Make a private arrangement with your ex-partner. This is often the method if the separation is more amicable.
  • You can contact the Child Support Agency (CSA) who will calculate the regular amount that you should pay for the upkeep and wellbeing of your child. This figure will be calculated on your income and outgoings and is normally paid monthly into the bank account of the person looking after your child.

What Happens if I don't pay Maintenance?

If you have entered into an agreement with your ex-partner for paying maintenance, you should maintain this agreement. If for any reason you are struggling to make the payments either on time or because of a problem with your own finances, it is best to try to talk the matter through and come to some understanding with your ex or the CSA. Perhaps a reduction in maintenance payments for a time until your problems are resolved is in order?

If you do not pay maintenance and make no effort to communicate your reasons why, your ex-partner can pursue the payment of this money – plus any outstanding payments – through the CSA. They will require you to complete a series of forms and attend an interview to ascertain why he or she has not being making the correct payments.

The CSA can retrieve these maintenance payments by placing an 'Attachment to Earnings'. If you are salaried monthly, the value of your maintenance will be deducted from your salary at source. Your employer will be contacted by the CSA and instructed (and this is a legally binding request) to deduct the value of such monies from your salary before you receive it into your bank account.

If you require further information on maintenance and Child Support and how the scheme works, contact the Child Support Agency or visit their website at www.csa.gov.uk.

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My ex agreed to pay me £150 a month towards our daughter. He WAS having her Friday and Saturday nights every other weekend. Then due to work shifts changing he told me he could no longer collect her on Fridays. He now has her less than 52 nights a year yet has not altered his payments. I work full time and need to pay childcare. He has two other children from a previous marriage but one is over 18, the other is now doing an apprenticeship. I’m not sure what to do as he is far from easy to talk to. I need his payments to increase.
Sheryl S - 3-Nov-19 @ 5:31 PM
Is anyone able to help? My ex pays weekly child maintenance but over the school holidays sometimes has our daughter for 3-4 days should he still pay every week even tho he’s had her for longer than a weekend?
Dee - 30-Oct-19 @ 10:47 AM
My ex doesn't pay maintenance for her child and there appears to be no way of getting it out of her. CSA aren't actively involved like they used to be. There needs to be consequences for parents who don't contribute to their child's upbringing.
Carl - 13-Jun-19 @ 5:26 PM
I have a 13 year old son, the father has never paid anything towards his up bringing. Can I now claim for child support and will he need to pay for the last 13 years he has been absent.
Wren - 28-Mar-19 @ 11:44 AM
Hi Me and my ex spilt up at the start January. When I moved we agreed I would give her £300 to look after if we ever spilt up or I’d move out. Her I agreed that I won’t pay her this month but I will pay end of February due fact that she won’t give a penny back. She also kicked out after paying all the rent left me pennless. Now just been paid she demanding I pay £150 or she going csa I told we agreed that was okay cause she spend all my money for start for deposit. She also not letting see her for more than two hour on a Sunday. I have told her I will have 3 nights a week as fair and she treats. I really don’t what to do. She asked if I could go out get her nappies baby food etc she leaving really bad position what do I do?
...... - 2-Feb-19 @ 10:05 PM
Me and the father split up before my son he gold me he would pay £10 every Sunday to help me . we agreed that he can see him every sunday for couple of hours and he still agreed about the payment when my son was born . its been 8 months and he still not paying me back . according to him his lower told him he shouldn't pay coz he doesn't see him as much. I'm just wondering if he can do this and if its true
gabby - 6-Nov-18 @ 2:59 AM
My partner pays child support arranged by him and the mother of his child. We have 2 children together also. His son is in full time educationand also works part time, he is about to turn 18. When are the legal requirements to stop paying, as my partner wants to stop paying the money to the mother as the money doesn’t get spent on his son and start paying the money into his son’s bank. The month also works full time, as does her husband. Any advise if this is possible??
Gee - 5-Nov-18 @ 8:13 PM
Me and my partner had an agreement that he would pay weekly, which he has not done. When ever he stopped making payments I would contact him and he would start making payments, but this time he has not paid for a long time. I did not go to the csa, as I did not want him suffer any hardship. Now our daughter is 18. What can I do to receive the back payments from him?
Max - 30-Oct-18 @ 5:10 PM
My partner has a son with his ex we have two children together (I’m on materity leave) my partners son stays with us 3 weekends out of four and for half of the school holidays as we’ve just had him for 12nights as his mum went abroad my partner always picks him up and drops him of which is 30mile drive my partner gives his ex £10 a week buys him clothes for our house and hers and buys him school uniform aswell she also claims for his son and gets ADHD money for him which we’ve never asked for a penny of his money however his ex is always demanding money of my partner will my partner have to pay csa
Kerky90 - 15-Aug-18 @ 6:18 PM
Hi just need a bit of advice, I currently give my ex £180 per month so that she hasincome to support our 2 and a half year old son, because I've been giving her the £180 before my son was born right up until now without ever defaulting on a payment , if she demands more can she get more if she goes through the CSA ? My son lives in Wales and I live in Bristol so I normally have to travel across to see him which costs in terms of travel costs - will CSA take this in to consideration....?
C909 - 14-Aug-18 @ 9:01 PM
Hi I've been paying child maintenance for my two children since 2011. Now my daughter moved out on 17th of January and my son moved out on 21st of may. My ex partner only just informed CSA about this on 10th of July. I've been phoning up regularly and been promised several times that they're going to stop the payments and I will be back payed from the date my son moved out. Now I just spoke to a gentleman today which promised me again they're going to stop the payments and he also in not a polite way informed me they will only back pay it from the date my ex partner phoned that means that she will be getting an extra 2 months of money out of me. Its only £36 a month but as I'm disabled its a lot ofmoney for me to pay. Is there anyway I can get that extra 2 months of money back from my ex I was also informed that ESA was told on 17th of July to stop the money but as I'm still paying obviously they didn't listen
Bumblebee - 7-Aug-18 @ 4:27 PM
I left my partner of 24 years in March 2013 (through the support of Womens Aid) we have a 12 year old together and the child lives with me.As we weren't married I have no entitlement to funds/things from the family home, despite paying the £65k deposit from the sale of my old home.I approached my ex with a view to discussing maintenance, I checked the CSA calculator and based on his wages if they chase him he would have to pay £58 per week however I do not want to make his life difficult and think £25 is a reasonable amount.His opinion is he is not paying a penny to keep a roof over my head when our child had a perfectly good home before we left (a good home but terrible life!) He will however buy anything the child wants, designed tops, sportswear etc., I explained it's not about material things, it's about care and well being and he said if I go to CSA he will ignore letters, I said they'd arrest his wages and he replied well I'll pack my job in and then you won't get a penny.I am trying to keep the peace for childs sake but to be honest I had no money for gas last week so we couldn't get hot water for washing for 3 days and he spent over £100 on 3 tops for child, who of course thinks this is great as I always apparently say no toanything they want.(I'm on sick benefit through cancer and subsequent health issues through that)£25 would make such a difference to us. What I need to ask is, does he legally have to pay for the child or is it only if I chase him for it?
BellaB - 28-Jul-18 @ 1:24 PM
Alex - Your Question:
I have a 13 yr old son and have been divorced for over 10 yrs. The father has no relationship with my son and contacts him very sporadically. His location is unknown.Due to changes in the law I am unable to renew his passport without his father's permission therefore I need to amend my current residence order to allow me to renew his passport without his permission.Please could you advise on procedure to do this?

Our Response:
You could apply to the courts to have the existing order amended - this is usually done via court form C100. It may be worth contacting the passport office and asking them for advice first.
LawAndParents - 24-Jul-18 @ 11:09 AM
I have a 13 yr old son and have been divorced for over 10 yrs. The father has no relationship with my son and contacts him very sporadically. His location is unknown. Due to changes in the law I am unable to renew his passport without his father's permission therefore I need to amend my current residence order to allow me to renew his passport without his permission. Please could you advise on procedure to do this?
Alex - 23-Jul-18 @ 1:27 PM
Cheryl dowd - Your Question:
Hi my ex left 5 years ago hasn't seen or paid for my two girls since what do I do the girls don't want to see him but I think he should have to pay they are his children I've done it alone for 5 years

Our Response:
If the father refuses to pay child maintenance when asked, you can contact the Child Maintenance Service to ask them to take the money. First check out the CM Options website for further information.
LawAndParents - 23-Jul-18 @ 12:50 PM
Hi there, this is a weird one. Me and my current partner have brought up her daughter ( my step daughter). She may aswell be mine as I've brought her up all her life. However her real father hasn't paid a penny. But my partner doesn't want to Contact CSA because she is simply still scared of the bloke. Can I contact CSA for her.
Couz - 21-Jul-18 @ 6:23 PM
Hi my ex left 5 years ago hasn't seen or paid for my two girls since what do I do the girls don't want to see him but I think he should have to pay they are his children I've done it alone for 5 years
Cheryl dowd - 19-Jul-18 @ 9:36 PM
Hi, wonder if you anyone can help me please Split with my husband and sold marital home October 2014. Money from house sale held by his solicitor. We've had the children 50/50, as he’s literal, and said he didn’t need to pay me any maintenance if we did this. I was happy to have the children with me more. I requested some maintenance support at the time of the split,as the lower earner and even though applied for tax credit was on the lowest amount (stopped receiving well over a year ago). Have been renting since selling family home, which is expensive, and takes almost half of my monthly salary. My solicitors were awful, and allowed him to drag out sorting the financial arrangements til now. We recently went to court. I am now representing myself as so broke, and had spent over £9,000 with 3 Solicitors and got nowhere. Even though I asked one of my solicitors to request maintenance, which she did, the reply back was when he had evidence of my financial assessment (Form E) which I exchanged with him and was shocked to see he was earning almost 3 times what I wasn’t the time! My solicitors never took up the maintenance request, even though I asked them, and I’m concerned now, I could’ve received some help ... and would it be possible to claim retrospectively please, does anyone know? I don’t care how hard the advice is in reply, I just need to know, thanks I’m really grateful of any help, as this has had such a stressful time on my health, having a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, Folic Acid deficiency, and Hypothyroidism in the last 3 years, causing long term sickness episodes from work. My children are now 21 and 17, only the 17yr old is in full time education. Ive never been given, or even offered any financial support from my ex, only him telling the children to ‘ask your mum’ as he has no money. Thank you most kindly
juleslim - 13-Jul-18 @ 6:15 PM
Really need advice please. Court order in place for 3 years that my girls dad has not stuck to for the past 2. They are now taking maintenance from his wages which he is spitting feathers about and I have an email from him where he says if I don't agree to drop the case with the CMS he will go for 50/50 care. This was 3 months ago. He has now started abiding by the court order doing all he should but I know this is so that he can avoid maintenance and eventually go for 50/50. Where the heck to I stand? knowing his only reason for doing this is to avoid paying. Previously he hasn't seen the children for 3 months at a time his choice not mine. I have 10 A4 pages of breaches of the court order.. what will happen if he goes for 50/50 now?
Amz77 - 7-Jul-18 @ 11:09 AM
Shelly - Your Question:
Hi please can I have some advice. My ex pays no maintenance now for 6 months. My son is 12. He is working cash in hand everyday and puts accounts into csa which say he earns less than 8 pounds a month. He is self employed. How can a tackle this ? He won't answer the phone and the CSA just tell me he doesnt earn enough which I know is a lie. He lives in a 3 bed room house and runs 2 cars. You can't do that with no job. The house is mortgaged but in his girlfriends name not his. But she only works part time. I work full time but I'm now really struggling financially and not sure what to do.Many thanks

Our Response:
This is a common scenario, and it doesn't seem there is much you can do about unfortunately. Citizens Advice may have some information about additional about places you can go for financial help.
LawAndParents - 4-Jul-18 @ 3:17 PM
Hi please can I have some advice. My ex pays no maintenance now for 6 months. My son is 12. He is working cash in hand everyday and puts accounts into csa which say he earns less than 8 pounds a month. He is self employed. How can a tackle this ? He won't answer the phone and the CSA just tell me he doesnt earn enough which i know is a lie. He lives in a 3 bed room house and runs 2 cars. You can't do that with no job. The house is mortgaged but in his girlfriends name not his. But she only works part time. I work full time but I'm now really struggling financially and not sure what to do. Many thanks
Shelly - 3-Jul-18 @ 8:51 PM
I have had a case with CSA and now CMS for several years, I’m currently owed 24K in unpaid maintenance. Ex agnores all letters and phone calls. He has no fixed aboe, self-employed and post go to his parents house. Liability orders are unless, lost count of the amount of liability orders the court have actioned. At stage now where a sauction has been granted to go to court for take away driving license or go to prison. Will this actually make him pay? I have no faith.
Jo jo - 26-Jun-18 @ 1:55 AM
Please help me my kids dad does nothing n pays nothing know he easy make 2_3 k a month .I am struggling .can look for him 13 years ago but couldn't find him.I have address for him n his wife n kids .is it too late for can help me ?
Bex - 21-Jun-18 @ 6:30 AM
chill98 - Your Question:
I've been taken by my ex through CSA but I have my kids 3 times a week wich costs me as well. can I take her through CSA. as when I have my kids who helps me to contribute towards them. I think it should be a tow way thing as I had no choice but to leave the home

Our Response:
The parent who is the main carer receives maintenance from the other one, that is the way the system works. If you were to apply for 50/50 shared care, the maintenance payments might drop/stop.
LawAndParents - 20-Jun-18 @ 12:58 PM
I've been taken by my ex through CSAbut I have my kids 3 times a week wich costs me as well . can I take her through CSA. as when I have my kids who helps me to contributetowards them . I think it should be a tow way thing as I had no choice but to leave the home
chill98 - 16-Jun-18 @ 8:00 PM
lilynoneck - Your Question:
My wife has said she is leaving and wants to take our three children with her but one of children has stated that they are not going what can I do to stop her taking the other two

Our Response:
If you can't come to an agreement (via mediation etc),you may have to apply for a child arrangements order, where a judge will make a decision based on the best interests of the children.
LawAndParents - 15-Jun-18 @ 2:59 PM
my wife has said she is leaving and wants to take our three children with her but one of children has stated that they are not going what can i do to stop her taking the other two
lilynoneck - 14-Jun-18 @ 10:35 PM
Hi, I have a court order in place which states my three children stay over with me for a full weekend every other week. My ex has now stopped me seeing the children and brought forward a whole host of false allegations against me and is trying to turn the children against me. I have applied for an enforcement order and have since recieved a report from CAFCASS that states they see no reason for my ex to stop me seeing the children, a court date is up and coming. I currently pay the CMS calculated amount for the children and have done so without fail but she is now demanding more as, as mentioned, they do not stay othernight with me. Can she do this or does the original court order work in my favour as she has breached it?
Derek - 13-Jun-18 @ 11:29 AM
Yes their is a reason why ive stopped my daughter seeing her father to cut a long story short the police are involved apparently my ex has rang cms that the police are involved and the police has told my ex don't pay cms as hes not allowed direct or indirect contact with me or my daughter cms have advised me to ring police to ask what they mean by direct or indirect cms dont understand what they mean or why the police are getting involved as he still needs to pay for his daughter an not rely on just me paying for everything for my daughter i know you can't get involved in police matters but surely my ex still needs to pay for his daughter an the police shouldn't be telling my ex not to pay
louise - 12-Jun-18 @ 5:30 PM
Thanks for your response. At the outset of our breakup I had a solicitor draw up both contact and separation agreements. My ex also has a daughter by a previous marriage for which there is a court order in place for contact. The contact agreement my solicitor drew up matched the court order for his other child. However he refused to sign thisagreement and he continues to frequently cancel/try to alter the contact times he asked me to try to meet. I have refused to move on the contact times to ensure my son has stability and routine in his young life and therefore sees his father regularly(he was 4 when we separated) surely this is the right course of action?
Confused - 11-Jun-18 @ 10:21 PM
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