I hope you can help. My sister left the father of her children a couple of years ago and married another man. Her oldest child, my niece, is having an awful time as her step father will not accept her and seems to want to do nothing but make her life a misery and it is ruining her self confidence.
She would rather live with her father and although my sister, her mum, got residency, I don't think she would object to her living with him. I wondered whether she had any say now she is 15? If not, what happens when she is 16? Can she choose to live with her father even if her mum says no? I hope you answer this so I can try and help a very unhappy child.
This is a very sad situation, although there is light at the end of the tunnel. You have stated that your sister got residency so I presume that there was a Residence Order put in place when your sister separated from the father of this child. Just in case, I have also outlined the situation if there was no such residence order.
Residence Orders – If Everyone Agrees
If this is the case, then a residence order should be adhered to, although if everyone involved consents to your niece going to live with her father, there may be no need to go back to court. Your niece can simply live with her father with everyone’s blessing by way of an informal arrangement.
Residence Orders – If Everyone Does Not Agree
If your sister decides that she’s not happy for your niece to live with her father, it may be that the matter should be referred back to the family courts in order to have the residence order amended. In such a situation (when the parents cannot agree) it is important to return to court, because if one party merely acts without the consent of the other party and without court intervention, not only could the other party threaten legal action but they would also be in contempt of court.
If your niece’s biological father applies for a residence order, he will have parental responsibility until your niece reaches 18 (it’s only 16 if the mother has parental responsibility). When your niece reaches 16, she will be able to decide where she lives in any event.
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If there is no residence order in place in terms of your niece, there should not be a problem. If both your sister and your niece’s father agree about where your niece should live, she can simply go and stay there. If your sister is not happy about your niece living with her father, her father can go to court to apply for a residence order. If such an order is granted, it will automatically give him parental responsibility.
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Timing
Given that your niece is already 15 years old, it’s important to bear in mind that the process of obtaining a residence order can take between six months and a year. Your niece can also apply for a residence order herself, but will have to ask permission from the court (called ‘leave’) to do so.
The Court’s Decision
In deciding whether or not to grant a residence order the court always considers the welfare of the child first. They will also look at your niece’s specific needs: physical, emotional and educational, as well as her age, background and the effect the change in circumstances will have. Also, they will look at how capable her father is of looking after her, and very importantly any harm the child has suffered, or may suffer in the future.
I hope this helps you to understand the situation better as regards your niece, and I hope it is something that can be resolved to everyone's satisfaction as soon as possible.
My daughter is 14 was coming with me but changed her mind the last minute and decided she wanted to stay with her friends and boyfriend so stayed with her dad.
I’ve been worried about her she been drinking alcohol most weekend and smoking drugs at her friends house. Her dad knows this but does nothing good about it.
She practically does what she wants.
Last night she got took home by the police for being drunk. In front of the police he grabbed her by her hair and pushed her up the stairs.
Police went up there after and asked if she wanted to talk about it but she said no.
Tonight she called me crying that he grabbed her by the collarbone and threatened that she was being sent to live with me ( which she doesn’t want to as her friends are down south,) she is so upset. I really worried about her what can I do to make her safe? I was under the impression she can choose where she lives is this true? She would be better taken care of being with me her mum.
Her dad is addicted to prescription meds and an alcoholic I’m worried he’s going to do something bad to her one day. Please help !
he is adamant that my daughter is happy with the move but she is telling me she wants to stay with me. I have been advised to apply for a prohibited steps order but have to attend mediation first and he is refusing, although he is happy to meet personally to discuss the matter, no doubt he thinks he will be able to intimidate me. they are apparently moving at Christmas so time is running out.
My son is 5 nearly 6. His mum has always had majority custody of him. He has been saying that he wants to live with me since he was 3. Over the past year he has started developing speech issues due to nerves around his mum. This is most noticeable in the form of stuttering and double emphasising the end of his words. He recently told his mum he hates her and doesn't like her. Today following their conversation she's cut our agreement of half school holidays down to seeing each other to four days. He told me it's because she fibs, she doesn't care about how he feels, she's really mean when she drinks and when he made a bad choice at school he couldn't stop crying when he got home but was trying to be really quite because he was scared that mummy would hear and go crazy. He understands what a lie is and can explain how he feels and the reasons why he feels the way he dose. Given these circumstances would the court listen to him or would the court say he's too young and force him to live with her until he becomes a teenager?
There is no court order on place but I don't want to do anything that can land me in trouble any advice would be appreciated
My dad would love for them to li e with him but do t know what to do?
HELP!
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Thanks
Si
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