I am 15 years of age. My mother and father were married for a little less than 12 years. I went through almost every kind of abuse there is, while my siblings had a front row seat to watch my dad tear into me with everything from a belt to a barbeque. My parents went through a divorce about a year ago (thank God) and now he gets to see us every Sunday for 5 hours, and it scares me to death. I dread every Sunday I have to see him. I don't believe he should get the privilage to see us at all.
I still have nightmares about all of the terrible things he did to me. I am a child and I should be allowed to enjoy my youth without the constant reminder of the past. How can I make it so that me and my siblings to not have to see my father?
(A.H, 8 July 2009)
A.
I was very sad to read about what happened to you at the hands of your father, but it sounds as though you are trying to come to terms with it. It is extremely important that you understand that what has happened to you is not your fault, and you don’t deserve to be scared or to be made to feel afraid by your father.
Your Best Interests
The court will always take into consideration your wishes, first and foremost, and will do what it considers is in your best interests. Normally, the family court thinks that parents and children should be in contact with one another, unless there are exceptional circumstances (which it sounds like there are in your case).
Order for No Contact
What happens now will depend on whether there is a court order in place to allow your father access to you and your siblings. If there is a ‘contact order’ in place – i.e. a court ordered that your father should be given access to see you and your siblings, rather than the contact between you and your father just being an informal arrangement between him and your mother – you are very likely to have to go back to court to explain why you want an order for no contact.
The court always takes into account your welfare over the rights and wishes of either, or both, of your parents. However, it is unlikely that you would be able to speak on or behalf of your other siblings. Remember the court will also consider what is in their best interests as individual children, too.
Speak To Someone
If you refuse to have contact with your father, he is very likely to want to know why, so I would suggest you speak to an adult you can trust before you do this. If you don’t feel as though you can talk to your mother, you could telephone The Children’s Legal Centre (www.childrenslegalcentre.com) who have a dedicated free phone number especially for young people: 0800 783 2187. They will be able to help and advise you further on your particular circumstances.
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Me and my wife decided to come to uk and settle with our kids .ages 3,6,8 and suddenly after we came she took the kids and move ro other address and i didnt say no , and i used to go every weekend take my kids to spend the weekend with me but unfortunately last weekend my wife refused to open the door for them by force and i left but the second time i went and i found no body at home and she send me a message saying we will not come back to that house again and you can not see the kids again if i didnt hand thier swedish passports to her while i have share custody in the my daughters birth certificates and i really dont know what to do kindly advice.
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Lewis Towner - 26-Sep-21 @ 12:26 AM
Unfortunately my ex is an alcoholic, controlling, abusive man. Although I always try to encourage the relationship between him and our 15 year old son, his schooling is being affected. My son is feeling tremendous stress and pressure and cannot concentrate during his mock exams. His GCSEs are coming up and he has asked me to contact his father and tellhim to stop calling him. He called him 39 times this week, half of which he didn't pick up because he is still scarred from the hour long drunk conversation he had with him whilst he was studying. He fills my son's head with stories, upon stories of his own life. Not thinking that he is talking to a 15 year old but to an adult.
This is not the first time my son has asked for no contact with his drunk father. He is sick of the emotional and verbal abuse and does not want it anymore. It is affecting his emotional well-being and state of mind.
My son wants to concentrate on his revision and wants a clear head during his GCSE examinations. I have emailed his father (this is my only safe way of communicating with him) and informed him that our son doesn't want to speak to him or see him.If his father does not listen to our son's wishes, what else can I do to help my son.
HelpMySon - 29-Feb-20 @ 10:11 AM
Unfortunately my ex is an alcoholic, controlling, abusive man. Although I always try to encourage the relationship between him and our 15 year old son, his schooling is being affected. My son is feeling tremendous stress and pressure and cannot concentrate during his mock exams. His GCSEs are coming up and he has asked me to contact his father and tellhim to stop calling him. He called him 39 times this week, half of which he didn't pick up because he is still scarred from the hour long drunk conversation he had with him whilst he was studying. He fills my son's head with stories, upon stories of his own life. Not thinking that he is talking to a 15 year old but to an adult.
This is not the first time my son has asked for no contact with his drunk father. He is sick of the emotional and verbal abuse and does not want it anymore. It is affecting his emotional well-being and state of mind.
My son wants to concentrate on his revision and wants a clear head during his GCSE examinations. I have emailed his father (this is my only safe way of communicating with him) and informed him that our son doesn't want to speak to him or see him.If his father does not listen to our son's wishes, what else can I do to help my son.
HelpMySon - 29-Feb-20 @ 9:58 AM
Please urgently help
My partners 16 year old son has been party to the cutting of her cloths including lingerie and although reported to the police numerous times they have done nothing and have not acted to interview the boy or his 21 year old sister who may also be included and there is a possibility that her controlling ex may have done it. We do not know as the police have failed to act and have let my partner down very badly. The boy has also terrorised his younger half brother and sister which has only just come to light
My Partner quite rightly removed her son and placed him with social services and is now blackmailing her to have her younger children removed if he does not get his own way
The blackmail has gone so far that he called the police stating that she was an unfit mother and using drugs at her property which is a complete lie and fabrication. Ironically the police visited her and was satisfied that was not the case and on the presentation of text and email evidence the police man seems to believe her although we cannot now get hold of him.
The blackmail has now included me in respect that should may partner not comply with his demands he will contact the police to say I am a paedophile
We are at our wits end
My Partner has now removed herself from the property as it is unsafe and still the police are not acting
Please help
By the way her parents are also complicit in this as is the 21 year old daughter and very strangely the ex partner who my partner removed from her life after suffering domestic mental and physical abuse
I am trying not to get involved personally as I will be arrested so we are desparate
Help help
HelpingMUM - 13-Feb-20 @ 4:37 PM
My abusive ex left me with a 14yr old not his a 6 yr old and a new born he tried for contact a year later butcher 7 year old wanted nothing to do with him and wanted my now husband to be her dad now the ex is trying to work his way back my new born is 8 and don't know my husbandisn't her bio father but my other daughter is happy to believe the lies my ex is telling , he lives abroad no money no contact in 8 years nothing
What can I do
Can I stop him seeing my 8 year old
Sj - 12-Oct-18 @ 1:41 PM
Hi I have twin boys if 15. A non contact order was issued as father was abusive. At what age by law can the boys refuse to reply to a letter? Father does not comply to the court order.
Andi - 16-Sep-18 @ 12:37 PM
neil2107 - Your Question:
Hi I broke up at 2005 only seen my kids a few time then she stopped me seening by courts whats the age gab when I can try make contact with them ?? would be great for this info cheers
Our Response:
Why did the courts stop contact? Were social services involved etc?
LawAndParents - 21-May-18 @ 11:25 AM
hi i broke up at 2005 only seen my kids a few time then she stopped me seening by courts
whats the age gab when i can try make contact with them ?? would be great for this info
cheers
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