Can we Stop Our Father's Visitation Rights to See Us?

Q.

I am 15 years of age. My mother and father were married for a little less than 12 years. I went through almost every kind of abuse there is, while my siblings had a front row seat to watch my dad tear into me with everything from a belt to a barbeque. My parents went through a divorce about a year ago (thank God) and now he gets to see us every Sunday for 5 hours, and it scares me to death. I dread every Sunday I have to see him. I don't believe he should get the privilage to see us at all.

I still have nightmares about all of the terrible things he did to me. I am a child and I should be allowed to enjoy my youth without the constant reminder of the past. How can I make it so that me and my siblings to not have to see my father?

A.

I was very sad to read about what happened to you at the hands of your father, but it sounds as though you are trying to come to terms with it. It is extremely important that you understand that what has happened to you is not your fault, and you don’t deserve to be scared or to be made to feel afraid by your father.

Your Best Interests

The court will always take into consideration your wishes, first and foremost, and will do what it considers is in your best interests. Normally, the family court thinks that parents and children should be in contact with one another, unless there are exceptional circumstances (which it sounds like there are in your case).

Order for No Contact

What happens now will depend on whether there is a court order in place to allow your father access to you and your siblings. If there is a ‘contact order’ in place – i.e. a court ordered that your father should be given access to see you and your siblings, rather than the contact between you and your father just being an informal arrangement between him and your mother – you are very likely to have to go back to court to explain why you want an order for no contact.

The court always takes into account your welfare over the rights and wishes of either, or both, of your parents. However, it is unlikely that you would be able to speak on or behalf of your other siblings. Remember the court will also consider what is in their best interests as individual children, too.

Speak To Someone

If you refuse to have contact with your father, he is very likely to want to know why, so I would suggest you speak to an adult you can trust before you do this. If you don’t feel as though you can talk to your mother, you could telephone The Children’s Legal Centre (www.childrenslegalcentre.com) who have a dedicated free phone number especially for young people: 0800 783 2187. They will be able to help and advise you further on your particular circumstances.