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Do I Have the Right to Know Where My Children Are?

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 11 Feb 2024 |
 
Contact Child Parental Responsibility

Q.

My ex-partner left me with the care of our 2 children a year ago. He has a new partner whom he doesn't live with and my children stay at her house every other weekend. My ex-partner frequently turns his mobile phone off or has it on silent, so if there was an emergency I have no way of contacting him and getting a response.

I've asked him to provide me with details of where our children are staying on these weekends, just in case anything happens and he is refusing to give them. He has parental responsibilty for our 3-year-old but not for our son. Am I within my rights to know where my children are?

(C.M, 26 May 2009)

A.

This does sound like a difficult situation. You are trying to ensure your children continue to spend time with your ex-partner, and he – for whatever reason – won’t give you the address of his new partner. It must be hard not knowing where your children are.

Parental Responsibility

To answer your question, I’ll first explain some principles of Parental Responsibility. As you know, more than one person can have parental responsibility at any one time. The essence of The Children Act implies that it is not practical for a person with parental responsibility to have to ask another person’s permission about everything to do with the child. There are certain exceptions to this, however, that do require everyone’s consent, such as sending a child to boarding school.

Relevant Case Law

There is case law that supports this: in the judgment of the case of D. v D. (Shared Residence Order) [2001] 1 F.L.R 495, Lord Justice Hale said that where a child is being looked after by one parent, that parent must be allowed to take the decisions relating to the child. While this parent has care of the child, the other parent should not try to interfere with matters relating to this time during which they don’t have care of the child. This does not, of course, extend to taking decisions that contravene a court order. However, where possible, flexible and practical arrangements should be made.

Delegation Of Parental Responsibility

Although your ex-partner does not have parental responsibility for your other child, you are delegating care of your child on a temporary basis. I do not know the details of your former relationship (such as whether you were married) or the age of your elder child, so I will not speculate here.

Suggestions

Your ex-partner has made it clear that he does not want to disclose his new partner’s address. Although he is within his rights not to want you to interfere with the time he spends with the children, it does not seem fair that you have no means of being able to contact them if there is a genuine emergency.

Talk to your ex-partner about this issue, and try to work out a compromise. Reassure him that you are not trying to interfere with his time with your children, nor are you seeking to abuse any contact details he gives you. If there is a genuine emergency with either of the children while he is in their care, make sure he understands that he must contact you. However, if you suffer an emergency, you need to be able to contact him, too.

Explain that you will not be contacting him during his time with the children unless there is a real and immediate emergency. He may be more willing to pick up his phone then. In the alternative, is there a trusted third party that you can contact in the event of an emergency? For example, could you arrange to contact one of your ex’s relatives, who would then contact your ex?

I hope you have found these suggestions useful, and wish you luck with resolving this issue.

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Frama - 8-Aug-22 @ 7:04 AM
I would like to know what rights I have regarding my ex partner who has moved to another city with my daughter. She still allows me to have my her but refuses to let me know her new address or my daughters new school.She did this without my consent. We are still officially married and I am on the birth certificate. The reason she is not telling me is because I recently found out that she has moved in with her new partner and is illegally subletting her housing association house out to family.
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Small fry - 24-Mar-21 @ 3:10 AM
Hi I have three children from two ex partners, am I able to arrange contact with all my children over the same weekend or would this be against the current COVID rules. I have asked so many people and organisations but can not get a clear answer, can you help?
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Dan - 10-Jan-21 @ 12:41 AM
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Lj - 26-Oct-20 @ 3:33 PM
Hello. My ex threw me and my son out when my son was 8months. He later said he want to see his child. Social workers said I can't denied him his son. Sometimes he will be good when he talk to me, sometimes he will talk to me badly and treating me. He has moved from where we both lived and moved to another apartment.Now he want to pick my son for few days and I asked for his address, he refused to give me his address. I mine been to overprotective or what? Any advice please.Thank you.
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Matt - 17-Jun-20 @ 6:47 PM
My brothers newly ex partner has moved out of the home that they shared and now has her own place with their two young children, she will not tell my brother where they live,is this legal? Under the present situation ( covid19) they decided at lockdown that it would be sensible for the children to stay with her,however all of a sudden contact has been completely stopped,( she is saying the children dont want to speak to him now) and the older child whose 11yrs has blocked him, he has no way of now contacting them, bear in mind these children were very close to their Dad and hes at a complete loss as to whats going on, is this legal to keep their whereabouts secret! Thanks.
Liz - 9-May-20 @ 1:07 PM
I am 18 years old and I'm in my first year at uni. My mum has recently said to me that because I'm in my first year of uni she is still responsible for me and still has parental responsibility. Is this true?
Mel - 2-Mar-20 @ 10:04 AM
I have recently found out through my children that there daddy has moved in to rented accommodation with his new girlfriend, where my kids stay when they are with there father but he wont give me the address, I dont want to cause trouble I just need to know for peace of mind I can get them in an emergency ect. Do I have a legal right to know where my children are sleeping when with there father?
Sez - 3-Dec-19 @ 9:52 AM
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Bob - 3-Oct-19 @ 6:09 PM
I’ve been pushing for my sons father to have more contact with him for years with no interest, now he’s asking for more which is great but I’ve asked for his address just so I know for peace of mind where my child is and also for emergencies. But when ever I ask he shuts down. He has a new girlfriend who seems lovely enough, I have no issues there but from being our sons “only” parent for the past few years I just would like to know where the most important person in my life will be. I’ve no intentions of turning up or causing issues which I have told his dad. I know where my son is 24/7 and having that info being with held makes my stomach turn. Is it too much to ask to know? Am I being out of line even asking? Any advice would be great. Thank you.
Jess - 12-Sep-19 @ 4:23 PM
The court order states i shall have access to visit the child and or collect her to stay with me. the child shall be picked up at the defendant`s house at exactly 10 am and drop 6pm. The defendant did not want me to know the address and meet with me in junctions to give me the child.Is this contempt of court order or is it inline with the court order?
JMC - 1-Aug-19 @ 3:07 PM
The court order states i shall have access to visit the child and or collect her to stay with me. the child shall be picked up at the defendant`s house at exactly 10 am and drop 6pm. The defendant did not want me to know the address and meet with me in junctions to give me the child.Is this contempt of court order or is it inline with the court order?
MMM - 1-Aug-19 @ 3:05 PM
Is it legal for one parent to leave a child in the uk with a babysitter, while they go on holiday abroad, without informing the other parent?
Concerned! - 14-May-19 @ 5:47 PM
My ex wife pack up and left the house with my two young kids, I have had very limited contact with them since this happened as she is making it very hard to do such a thing, she has moved into a friends house with the kids I have asked for a address to know the location where my kids are staying in the case of an emergency, I have informed her that I will never show up at the house unless invited my her, I have told her that not knowing where my kids are staying is very uncomfortable for me and that this is also effecting my sleep. She will not give me the address to the location where my kids are sleeping. Do I have a legal right to know the location where my kids are sleeping?
Dad101 - 23-Apr-19 @ 6:40 AM
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