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Understanding Parental Responsibility

By: Angela Armes - Updated: 30 Sep 2023 | comments*Discuss
 
Parental Responsibility Natural Father

As a parents you are responsible, in the eyes of the law, for the safety, wellbeing and upbringing of your child. Parental responsibility requires you to ensure that your child receives the best care possible within the family unit.Although not an exhaustive list, parental responsibility means:

  • Providing your child with a name
  • Offering a secure and safe home
  • Providing your child with good discipline
  • Playing an active role in their education
  • Deciding how your child receives medical attention
  • Nominating a guardian for your child, if necessary

Who has Parental Responsibility?

By law, the mother of any child automatically has parental responsibility for them from birth. If the parents are married at the time of the birth or they have jointly adopted the child, then parental responsibility becomes a joint venture and both parents should have a say in how that child is brought up.

If parents then divorce, they do not lose parental responsibility and are still responsible for the child one the marriage has been dissolved.

What if I am unmarried?

If a mother is unmarried, she has sole parental responsibility for that child, and all decisions relating to her child’s upbringing are hers.

However, unmarried fathers can gain legal responsibility for a child by:

  • Jointly registering the birth of the child with the mother
  • Making a parental responsibility agreement with the mother
  • Having a parental responsibility order, made by a court
From 4th May 2006, an unmarried father has parental responsibility if he is named on the child's birth certificate. Unmarried fathers can also be named on a child's birth certificate if it is re-registered, which will give them parental responsibility.

Applying for Parental Responsibility

If you do have to apply to the courts for parental responsibility of your child, you must show a level of commitment to your child as well as a high level of attachment. The court ultimately has the final decision and must take all things into account before deciding on parental responsibility. The court must also consider why the father wishes to be given parental responsibility and may look at the mother’s ability to care for the child or children.

A court welfare officer may be appointed to assess the father’s level of commitment to his children in terms of attendance and also how he interacts with them.

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Personal agreement with my daughters mother since she was 12 months oldto pay support. My daughter is now 18 and in full time education as well as having a part time job. Do I still need to pay support for her and if so can I pay it directly to my daughter.
Bold - 30-Sep-23 @ 7:24 PM
I was in a bad marriage 2 years ago where he try to kill me while pregnant with his child and he attacked me in front of my son who is now 3 years old. Ever since I left he won’t leave me alone he doesn’t answer his phone when his kids rings him and then when it late at night he would call early hours in the morning to speak to me. He uses the kids has a excuse to talk to me since I left him all he’s done is emotionally and mentally abused me he’s also threatened to kill me and kidnap my kids and take them out the uk If he does this he will make sure that I would never see them again so I want to know if I can go for a Residence order to protect my kids as I do have a letter from social services of not to let him see the kids. All I want is for my children to be safe and not to keep waking up shouting no dada no hit mama it’s heart breaking that triggers when he abuses towards me
Mamaz&z - 7-Jul-21 @ 2:26 AM
I am having an issue with safeguarding with my 2 year old she has been left with an unknown person to myself her dad knows after 2 weeks and she has her overnight alone without him being there i am gravely concerned as she has adult children and her grandchildren in the house and i do not know where mybaby is help
Vicki patten - 14-Mar-21 @ 5:26 PM
My ex who I'm not married to cheated on me I have 3 children with him the youngest is nearly 4 2 weeks younger then the child he has with the woman who he was cheating with they now live together. I have never stopped him seeing girls but he broke the arrangements each time then never bothered to see them for monthsa year even I and the kids, got on with life now he has asked for visitation rights but laid out to me i want them to stay at my home overnight it will happen in 6 months if not I will take you to court. I am not happy with this first my young children have to build a relationship with their father by him keeping to arrangements and I have to build a trust relationship withhim that he will stick to arrangement he has also told me in six months he will introduce them to the children their half sibling he had while cheating with me. I am not ready for this I am not ruling this out but not in his time frame of six months when my kids know nothing about his other life. I dont know anything about this other woman and I dont feel happy I have explained to my ex that I am happy once again for them to build a relationship and if he keeps to it being consistent then down the line I wont rule it outbut he said no it will happen in 6 months time has always been a bully and intimidated me. What rights does he have to force me into an agreement in 6 months when I'm trying to be reasonable and put the childrens best interests first one of the children has special needs he knows nothing about her needs .i feel anxious and stressed about him takeing me to court we are not married. Do i have any rights i am trying to be reasonable with him about the kids but he wants it his way and threatening me with court. Am i being unreasonable by telling him he has to build a relationship with them first and be consistent with it and do i have to allow overnight stays in 6 months.
Aj - 18-Aug-20 @ 7:35 AM
April 2017 my ex was arrested from our home for abuse towards me when our child was present to. Since then I had began seeing someone the end of april, moved elsewhere come june and opened a business. He has since been charged for the assault and I have a restraining order against him and he had been arrested since for things nothing to do with myself or my concern. Since then my new partner has been helping me raise my daughter who was only 8 months at the time and she calls him daddy and doesnt recognise her birth father. My new partner and her have a normal father daughter bond and we are expecting another baby and are engaged. He would like to adopt her. Is this possible when the birth dad is on birth certificate, even though he pays nothing towards child, hasnt seen her in 3 years and took no steps forward to address his drinking or anger issues
Lj - 27-Jan-20 @ 4:53 PM
I spilt with my ex when my daughter was 21/2. At first see wouldn’t let me see her but then we seemed all ok. I’ve been with my new partner for five years now & my ex has been really amazing having my daughter over 204 nights per year but my ex won’t tell the truth about how many nights we have her. Now CSA are taking the money out of my wages & three times as much as I was paying her. I called CSA, but they said I was informed but I didn’t get a call or letter so can’t appeal! Is this right, also why don’t they take my word for what’s going on. My ex has just had a baby & said she’s on low money now while off work but that’s not my fault!! Please help me. I can’t afford the extra money & May have to stop seeing my daughter as much because can’t afford the petrol to get her! Thanks
Kelv - 4-Dec-19 @ 7:27 PM
Hi I have a 9 year old son and I have him 12 days out of 14. The father has now stopped payment. Full details below. But can he do this? Ans what actions should I take. I was admitted into hospital with liver problems which have been know before due to drinking and diet etc. My ex has known this for years ans never has it been an issue for his care. In hospital I reached out and have now been discharged and 100 timwa better. I asked my ex to look after my son whilw I was in hospital for a week ans since his regused to give him back ans now stopped money which is what I Use for rent etc. So his left me unable to pay bills that's normally used to keep a roof over his heat. Food etc.
Wenna - 10-Oct-19 @ 7:21 PM
Can anyone please help I have a letter from my ex lawyer to mine saying that I have them 6 nights 7 days over the 14 nights has been that way for over 2 year we both still say in the same area for the kids school but she met a man who lives in Glasgow and I believe that she is thinking of moving my kids to Glasgow from Edinburgh which means that they would need to change school and nursery also if she does move I would not be able to get them to school in the morning which would mean I would not be able to take the kids as much as I do is there any way to stop her changing the kids school or does she have final say on where they live and Go to school from a dad on his knees my kids are my life ?
Geo - 15-Aug-19 @ 6:58 PM
My ex and I are separated with 50:50 care of the children and alternative weekends. Over the last two weeks I’ve had bad news about my job and health which im struggling to cope with.A female friend invited me to go to a dinner to help me switch off but hat is on a night when I have the kids.Asked ex for help butsaid he can’t have the kids. I suggested using a baby sitter for a few hours, and the sh*t has hit the fan calling me irresponsible cause I fancy a night out for myself. What rights has he got to stop me getting a trusted baby sitter?
Sanzio - 16-Jul-19 @ 8:52 PM
Hi I don’t know what to do I have four young children. My eldest daughter is going to be 15 she screams at me demands. Often at 10 in the night she will say she needs me to buy her something for school if I don’t she will continue screaming too I get it. She argues with all my other children threatens me that she won’t have anything to do with me. She spends all her time in her phone sleeping til 12. I buy her everything she needs drop her at school pick her up if I am not on time she will phone my work none stop. I am starting to get ill with it all with chest pain. She has done this for 4 years. She gets money when she wants if she doesn’t she will scream at me. She threatens me that she will have nothing to do with me. Legally when can I tell her to move out. She is ruining my life she is never on time for school looses stuff is always late. If she is late and we go out without her she leaves me nasty messages and threatens she will never see me again. I am constantly getting chest pain my weekend are living hell. I went to my GP he said go to CAMs she won’t. She continues to bully me and threaten me. I really need her to move out. I just feel life is unbearable for me. Even if she sees I am struggling she mocks me. Where can I legally place her. The other children have had enough we tell her she has no remorse and doesn’t care one bit. I really need respite from her we all do so she will stop bulling us all. I am getting very ill and down she knows this but just shout at me.
Ariella - 4-May-19 @ 11:59 AM
Hi My friend has recently separated 5 months ago, his ex wife has been in multiple relationships since and has recently (3 weeks) starting seeing another guy, she has told him she intends to introduce her new partner to my friends Daughter, they are still legally married but Separated he isn’t happy to have the new partner introduced so early on does he have any rights legally to stop her ? Please help urgently
Richard - 10-Apr-19 @ 12:28 PM
I have separated from my partner near three years ago. We never married things we did register the birthday together and I am named on the birthcertificate. We have jointly shared custody of the kids (4 and 3) who stay at mine three nights a week and I am, most (of not all) afternoons and nights at hers otherwise to help with care of the kids when they are not with me and I maintain child support payments. The last year I have been speaking to and started a relationship with someone new and my ex is now arguing that the kids are never to meet her (with no real justification to it other than that I wasn't upfront at the start that I was seeing someone)and even if my relationship progressed and we moved in together, they are never to go around there. Can she have a say in what the kids do and who they see when they are in my custody and can she stop my custody if she isn't happy?
Mil - 3-Feb-19 @ 1:29 PM
I have 2 children with my partner I have been with him for 8 years now, we don’t live together but he is named on both birth certificates. He is a good dad (sometimes when now shouting at me or swearing) we are struggling a little in our relationship and he is very dominating and demanding. He is jealous of my other two older children and the fact I have an ex husband. There is not a day that goes passed where he doesn’t put me down or make me cry , he always says it’s me and messes with my head (very clever and manipulating) I’ve stayed put as he says I’m an unfit mother and if we break up he is taking the boys and I will only be able to see them at weekends. I am a hardworking mum who always puts my children first but I am now a fraction of the person I used to be , what I need to know is does he have the right to take my boys ..... can I stop him ? He is very stubborn and would do it to prove a point, he wouldn’t care if police were involved he has already threatened to set the house on fire with me in it if I leave him so I’m stuck and just don’t know what to do ....... any advice so I can try to be strong and tackle this head on armed with the full facts ??
Lou Lou - 21-Nov-18 @ 6:33 PM
My ex who is resident parent to our 5 and 10 year old girls has moved in with her boyfriend. She refuses to give me his details. Do I have the right to know as I have PR? Can I demand she tells me?
Locket - 22-Oct-18 @ 11:20 PM
Sid - Your Question:
My son is 18 and going to university in September to do a foundation course leading to a degree. Am I still required to pay his mother CSA payments or can I just pay an amount I choose directly to my son

Our Response:
No CSA is not payable once a child finishes study at A level or equivalent.
LawAndParents - 24-Aug-18 @ 3:40 PM
My son is 18 and going to university in September to do a foundation course leading to a degree. Am I still required to pay his mother CSA payments or can I just pay an amount I choose directly to my son
Sid - 24-Aug-18 @ 9:02 AM
Mike - Your Question:
A father's parental rights are terminated by the court for reasons of domestic violence and domestic assualt.The child (now 9) resides with the mother who has full custody.Visitation by the father is at the discretion of the mother.The father has completed anger management as ordered by the court, and has had regular contact with the child since his rights were terminated a few years ago.Can the father apply to the court to have his parental rights reinstated on the grounds he has complied with the court order and there have been no reported incidences of abuse or assault since his rights were terminated? (All parties reside in the UK)

Our Response:
He can certainly apply. The judge will order further investigations before considering reinstating parental rights etc.
LawAndParents - 6-Jun-18 @ 11:15 AM
A father's parental rights are terminated by the court for reasons of domestic violence and domestic assualt. The child (now 9) resides with the mother who has full custody. Visitation by the father is at the discretion of the mother. The father has completed anger management as ordered by the court, and has had regular contact with the child since his rights were terminated a few years ago. Can the father apply to the court to have his parental rights reinstated on the grounds he has complied with the court order and there have been no reported incidences of abuse or assault since his rights were terminated? (All parties reside in the UK)
Mike - 5-Jun-18 @ 7:55 AM
So Mother's are extremely vulnerable to very controlling ex's and have no way of keeping her & child safe from daily manipulation after seperation? ie if both parents are on the BC but were not married but child has Fathers surname,. Do they have the same powers? Can the Father just take the child from the Mother? Can the Mother and child move away without permission or are they forever under thier control?
Milsey - 25-May-18 @ 9:39 AM
So Mother's are extremely vulnerable to very controlling ex's and have no way of keeping her & child safe from daily manipulation after seperation?
Milsey - 25-May-18 @ 7:54 AM
Hi. I have looked on different websites and some say one thing and others say something different. My 17 year old daughter and her boyfriend are planning on going to Scotland to get married. We live in England. If they do does parental responsibility stop when they get married? thankyou
Katrina - 18-May-18 @ 7:08 AM
dmj - Your Question:
My 15 year old daughter has decided she wants to live with me full time as she has had a falling out with her father, which has partially contributed to her ill health. She has to attend CAMHS appointments each week and is Gillick competent.She has a school trip abroad coming up and her father is threatening to withdraw consent so she won't be able to go. The school will not take her with only my consent.She also does not want him to know anything about her CAMHS appointments.Is she able to do this - ie she does not want him involved in her life - she does not want him to have parental responsibility over her.This is not a snap decision - this has been coming over months now.Thanks

Our Response:
At the age of 15, a court will take the child's opinions into account but will also look at the overall circumstances and what they consider to be the child's best interests. This might be your only resort if you cannot agree with the father.
LawAndParents - 11-May-18 @ 9:53 AM
My 15 year old daughter has decided she wants to live with me full time as she has had a falling out with her father, which has partially contributed to her ill health. She has to attend CAMHS appointments each week and is Gillick competent. She has a school trip abroad coming up and her father is threatening to withdraw consent so she won't be able to go. The school will not take her with only my consent. She also does not want him to know anything about her CAMHS appointments. Is she able to do this - ie she does not want him involved in her life - she does not want him to have parental responsibility over her. This is not a snap decision - this has been coming over months now. Thanks
dmj - 9-May-18 @ 3:30 PM
Hi. My daughter was born May 2002, me and her dad were unmarried at the time of her birth, we both registered her birth and he’s named father on the birth certificate. We married in 2006. I would like to know if he has parental responsibility please also I’ve been told that he’s our daughters next of kin as he’s older than me, Is this true and if so how can I be her next of kin as I am her main carer. Thank you
Salopians - 3-May-18 @ 8:44 PM
Hi , I have 2 children aged 8 & 4. My children’s father decided to have an affair when I was pregnant with our now 4 year old. This led to him leaving the family home & not sticking to his set days to see the children. Due to this I stopped all visits in the hope he would take it to court for more access ( I wanted him to be involved ) . He took it to court and an order was put into place for him to have the children every other weekend Friday - Sunday , Ive since found out that during the Saturday he leaves the children whilst he workswith his girlfriends brother who my children have met a handful of times , is this acceptable ?? This man is not a relative & I know nothing about him ? Thx
Smithy - 15-Apr-18 @ 8:36 PM
Hi. My daughter have 9 years old. My and her dad split when she have 10 months old. She’s live with me since that. His see her when they want, when his not busy with his staff. His always come first and his daughter second, his never ask if she need something. When I ask for paternal help his always refused to give. So I put child maintenance. Now his mum (not him) always ask me for her birth certificate and her ID card. I’m always refused to give her my child identification. I don’t know what for she want them. Can I get some advice for what she can do on my back? I been on citizens advice and they tell me to not give nothing from my daughter.
Cris - 4-Apr-18 @ 7:10 PM
My daughter split from her partner 13 years ago after he beat her up for the second time. Both went to court and gained shared residency. Since then the girls went to stay solely with the father and his new partner. Social services have been involved as the father has hit both girls and his new wife. Social services have allowed the girls to go back into his care as they assume that he has parental responsibility.We have now found that he does not have parental responsibility as the girls were born before 2003 and the parents were unmarried. Were social services wrong to send them back to the father?
Caz - 30-Mar-18 @ 9:22 AM
My son split up from his partner a year ago he is on all 4 birth certificates she has been using the kids to get her own way saying if he doesn't do it she will loose contact with kids which has now happened she has blocked him on there phone not let him see or speak to him we used to have them at least 3 days a week know she won't even let him talk to him it is killing him not talking or seeing them realy realy need advice if she's allowed to do this
Gates - 29-Mar-18 @ 3:45 PM
Helio, My name is Dominika, I was hoping to get some advice. Me and my ex husband we split up many years ago (2008) and we are divorced. We have a son 10 years old (born in 2007), my son don't know his father, he never talk to him or hear from his father from 2008, zero contact, he doesn't pay any child maintenance since 2008. My question is how I can take parental responsibility from my son father, what is the all procedure and how to start. Thank you in advance
NikaHibsz - 22-Mar-18 @ 4:24 PM
Hi, My children reside with me but spend approx 1 night a week with their father. I want to take them away to visit family abroad but my ex husband is saying no to this as it falls over xmas. Can he dispute that with them living with me? We don't have a court residency order or any thing Thanks
K - 14-Mar-18 @ 2:29 PM
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