My stepson is 17 years old and is working whilst also studying at college. He recently moved out of his mother's house and in with his girlfriend. Should we (his dad and myself) still pay maintenance? If so, who do we pay it to and what happens if he decides to move back in with his mother?
Who has to pay child maintenance?
When parents separate or divorce, both still have a financial responsibility towards their children. The parent who does not live with the child most of the time is usually expected to pay child maintenance to the parent who does.
This duty applies until the child turns 16, or up to 20 if they remain in full-time education up to A-level or equivalent. If a child marries before 18, the obligation to pay maintenance typically ends, though court orders may specify different terms.
Child maintenance exists to make sure both parents contribute fairly to the costs of raising their child. It covers everyday expenses like food, clothing, housing and other essentials.
Check your legal rights as a parent on education, health and welfare decisions.
Try our Parental Rights Checker free, here on this site →How child maintenance can be arranged
There are three main ways to set up child maintenance in the UK:
- A family based arrangement, where parents agree between themselves on the amount and payment schedule
- Through the Child Maintenance Service (CMS), which can calculate and collect payments
- By court order, which is typically used for cases involving international elements or higher income families
Many parents manage to reach their own agreement without involving the CMS. This approach can be more flexible and avoids fees. You can also use the CMS online calculator to work out a fair amount, then base your private arrangement on that figure.
Mediation services offer another option. A trained mediator can help you and your former partner reach an agreement without formal intervention from the CMS or courts.
If one parent is unwilling to pay or you cannot agree on an amount, the CMS can step in to assess what should be paid. The Child Support Agency (CSA) no longer handles new cases. All child maintenance cases now go through the CMS.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
How the CMS calculates payments
When the CMS calculates child maintenance, it considers several factors. The paying parent's gross weekly income is the starting point. This figure usually comes directly from HMRC records.
The calculation also takes into account:
- How many children the maintenance covers
- How many nights the child stays with the paying parent
- Whether the paying parent has other children living in their household
If the child spends a significant number of nights with the paying parent, this can reduce the amount owed. The CMS uses set rates and percentages, which you can check on GOV.UK for current figures.
Where one parent lives abroad, different rules may apply. The CMS can only deal with cases where the paying parent lives in the UK. For international cases, you may need legal advice or court involvement.
When circumstances change
Child maintenance can be subject to change. If your situation shifts, the amount may need adjusting.
Common reasons for reassessment include a change in income, variations in the child's overnight stays with either parent, or a new child joining the paying parent's household. Either parent can ask the CMS to look at the case again if circumstances have genuinely shifted.
You should report changes promptly. Failing to do so can lead to arrears building up or payments being set at the wrong level.
If you have a private arrangement and one parent stops paying, you may be able to apply to the CMS for help. There are fees for using the CMS collection service, so evaluate whether this is the right option for your situation.
For the most accurate and current information on child maintenance rates, how to apply, and what to do if payments stop, visit GOV.UK or contact the Child Maintenance Service directly.
Anyway so my question is do I still pay?
How do I find out if she is in full time education as I have been said my ex doesn't need to prove anything and they will take her word for it which totally redicilous.
“we need it as we are paying mortgage at the moment” . They lied to me about seeing my kids 16 years ago I'm not signed agreement I'm not allowed to see my kids again said my ex She is marriage now
I should do?
They moved away from his college and job so when he works 2-3 nights a week he stays at my mums. This is random nights as he doesn’t know his shift till the weekend.
It just gets to me that I am paying one of her mortgages. I’d sooner give the money to my son.
Never missed a payment in 17 years.
I found out in 2009 when my daughter was born from a friend who found out on facebook. I then attempted contact as I wanted to be a father to my daughter. I had to initiate contact through a solicitor, at first by mediation which she refused to attend stating that 'it was too early for me to have any contact with my daughter as she was a newborn'.
So I initiated court proceedings. Not long later I had some guys cornering me on the street threatening me and they seemed to know about me taking my ex to court. Although I can't prove it was her who got them onto me I can't see how else?
I was mentally and emotionally battered and at this point scared too, so I cancelled court proceedings. Seven months later I managed to get my ex to let me have contact with my daughter (all arranged between ourselves and not through court or solicitors) I gave her £100 in cash which was completely off the record, and I told her that I would like to arrange regular payment and access etc... I also told her that I wanted my name on my daughters birth certificate, which she went completely mad at the situation and refused to have me added to it, as she stated that would give me parental responsibility and rights. I got to see my daughter once more after this and then my ex refused to let me have anymore contact. I kept trying to arrange more visits and I made several different offers of child maintenance that were more than what she would have received if we had used cms and I would have paid her direct, but she refused all of them. I asked her at this point if she actually wanted me to be involved in our daughters life, to which she replied this.... 'if you're only prepared to pay for her on your terms then no'
At this point I made the only choice that I could make for my daughter which was to not be there for her as it would give her the most stable upbringing without me in the picture, as my ex would constantly do whatever she could to alienate me entirely.
My concern is now that my estranged daughter is going to be 16 in about 18 months, will my ex be able to take me to court to chase 16 years of missed maintenance off me? (bearing in mind that no formal maintenance plan was ever agreed to between ourselves as she rejected all of my offers) I worry because this is the sort of despicable act she would attempt as she is financially driven and I think that to her our daughter is a financial opportunity. She never wanted me to have access to my daughter but at the same time I bet that she would still have liked maintenance too, but she refused my offers because she did not want to give me any access rights. So could she now pull this by contacting me and requ
I paid private arrangement for daughter, 16/17 while I worked abroad. She was unhappy at her mums/ stepdads who are in next village. She asked and I agreed for her to move home, with her boyfriend and I ceased maintenance , £900/month, and instead paid all her expenses while she lived in our comfortable home. This arrangement was Aug - Oct when we returned home, she spent a few weeks with her mum, but every weekend at our home. My ex has raised a CMS claim for arrears. £1570, 5 weeks worth I have dispute the case in writing but I think the decision will be based on what CMS define as primary carer. I pay for her mediacla cover, mu and I are both contacted for school issues , we were 50/50 share before I moved abroad. I calculate , based on arrears calc, I could be due to pay about £600 based on a new mandatory recalculation £294/week. I have offered to pay £900.
So question is, what defines primary care in this situation? She was living in my home, I was paying directly to my daughter?
Their mother is claiming that payment is to be made until they reach the age of 20 as they are both in ‘further education’.
Is the onus the mother to prove they are still undertaking further education or on myself to prove they are not?
A more difficult situation I appreciate as they have been home schooled hence the reason for my seeking advice.
Thanks in advance
I’m a military personnel my annual review has just come in and gone up by £100 there in my eyes is a few things that are not being taken into consideration and need advice if this will actually change in what’s happening
1. My taxable income I was assessed on my earnings for last year which was more than my annual salary due to me being overseas my annual income is £36,000 but was £40,000 last year
2. My child is actually in boarding school (full time) so my ex doesn’t have him mon-fri and some weekends herself
3. And final one is every year it magically appears that I’m in arrears this year was £400 this happens every year the amount varies and every year I get my bank statements send them of like where is this coming from I pay on time the set amount every month and this always happens
4. I can’t physically have my son like most civilian fathers due to work and going away like does this get taken into consideration
5.I have debts I need paying that along with cost of living a Jump by £100 a month is ridiculous
It’s getting to the point it feels like the system is against me doesn’t matter what I do and becoming a joke I can’t win
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