The Law and Child Discipline

Originally written by Jack Claridge, updated by the editorial team on 23rd May 2026

Disciplining Children: What the Law Allows

All children misbehave at times. As a parent, you have both a legal and moral responsibility to raise your child to understand boundaries and behave appropriately. But where does reasonable discipline end and unlawful treatment begin?

Understanding the legal position helps you make informed choices about how you manage behaviour at home.

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What Counts as Acceptable Discipline?

Parents in the UK can use a wide range of methods to discipline their children. These might include setting clear rules, removing privileges, using time-outs, or having firm conversations about behaviour.

While shouting is not unlawful, consistent use could be counterproductive and possibly deemed emotionally harmful if persistent. Social services or other authorities may take an interest if concerns are raised, and this could lead to further involvement with your family.

Discipline methods focused on guidance without causing physical or emotional harm generally align with legal expectations. The key is consistency, fairness, and keeping your child's wellbeing at the centre of your approach.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

The Law on Smacking

The legal position on physical punishment differs across the UK.

In England and Northern Ireland, parents can still use what the law calls "reasonable punishment" or "reasonable chastisement". This means a mild smack that does not leave marks or cause harm may be lawful. However, the threshold for what courts consider "reasonable" is low, and any physical punishment could be scrutinised. Factors such as the child's age, the behaviour in question, and any special needs may all influence whether punishment is deemed acceptable.

Physical punishment that causes bruising, swelling, cuts, grazes, or other visible injuries will usually be considered assault. But even without visible marks, smacking could still constitute assault if contextual factors suggest harm or intent to harm. Criminal charges and social services involvement are possible outcomes.

The position is different in Scotland and Wales. Scotland banned all physical punishment of children in November 2020, and Wales followed with a similar ban in March 2022. In these nations, any form of smacking or physical punishment is now illegal, regardless of whether it leaves a mark.

Several other countries, including Germany, Spain, Sweden, and the Netherlands, have also banned smacking entirely. As of now, no legislative change has been scheduled for England and Northern Ireland, though public discourse on the issue continues.

Getting the Balance Right

Discipline is about teaching your child, not punishing them into submission. Methods that help children understand why their behaviour was wrong tend to be more effective in the long term than those based purely on fear or pain.

If you are struggling with your child's behaviour, support is available. Your GP can discuss options, and local councils often run parenting programmes. Organisations such as Family Lives and Children 1st offer free advice, and school pastoral services can also provide guidance. The NSPCC website has detailed information on children's rights and parental responsibilities, while GOV.UK provides resources on parenting and child welfare.

The law gives parents room to discipline their children, but it also sets limits. Staying informed about those limits protects both you and your child.

The Next Step

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43 questions

Ask Law and Parents a Question

LawAndParents Editor 17/05/2026 at 1:32 pm

@Reds Sounds frustrating, and yes, shouting at your own kids isn't a crime. The police likely had to attend because someone made a report, but that doesn't mean any action will follow. Parenting three kids on your own, including an autistic child, is hard work and the odd raised voice is normal. Tell your friend to stay calm if they come back, explain the situation, and not to feel guilty for being human.

Reds 04/12/2024 at 12:28 pm

A friend of mine has just had the police turn up at her house for shouting at her own kids. She's a single mom with three kids one is a typical girl of eight who knows everything ???? one is a tomboy of six years old and a five year old autistic girl she doesn't hit the children and isn't abusive but now the police are visiting people for hurty words when will they learn to leave parents alone if they aren't committing crimes so our children can grow up. My parents used to physically discipline me and I still loved them both are now passed away and I learnt love and respect keep police out of parenting

Sabkarsha 10/07/2023 at 11:24 pm

Nowadays, many children under 16 misbehave or bully with adults, especially with those whom they don't know. When the victim adult try to defend himself by saying something back, the children say I will police. I am underage and try to misuse their rights. In this case, what are the rights of the adults?? Why are we giving over priviledge to children in the form of rights??

Ssk 25/05/2023 at 10:39 pm

Is telling a child to kneel down and raise up his hand legal in the UK

Grounded 26/12/2020 at 9:01 pm

I'm the child and I have been grounded for 4 months from all electronics and can't even read any of my
books because my mom and her new boyfriend are not letting read them.I have been trapped in my room with nothing to do for 4 months. I'm typing this on my school computer. So is it illegal to ground a child with nothing to entertain themselves with? The email is my school computer.

Sarky71 20/11/2019 at 4:59 am

My son is 15 and has an ASD, he has been to five different schools, including a specialist resource and now attends a school for children with "challenging behaviour" and SEN, with staff who are supposedly trained to manage behaviour effectively. In spite of high staff to pupil ratio, specialist training and access to extra resources none of the schools have managed his behaviour successfully, some have exacerbated the problem and all have demanded my constant availability for repeated phone calls, official exclusions and returns home as their behaviour management strategy. Until around 5 years ago his "problem" behaviour was confined to school, but I gradually started to see more and more of it at home.
For the past 3 years he has been demanding, disrespectful and aggressive towards me. He has repeatedly broken things, caused damage to the house and either destroyed or appropriated anything which belongs to me. He has threatened me and made derogatory comments to and about me on a daily basis. He refuses to clean up after himself, throws rubbish on the floor, takes plates, cups, cutlery etc. into his room and refuses to bring anything back downstairs, if he does bring it down then he won't clean it. If I ask him nicely to please pick up the rubbish/wash the dishes/return my things he walks away, if I ask too often (according to him) he screams abuse at me and proceeds to destroy as much of the house and contents as possible. The same outcome results from me saying no to any of his demands or doing or saying anything which he doesn't like. The police have been called and he has been arrested or spoken to on multiple occasions. Each time he has been referred to social services, each time they have contacted me I have explained the situation and they have offered me a parenting course! (Against government guidelines for child to parent abuse)They have told me that "as long as he is ONLY destroying the house it is not a family services issue, but IF he attacks me AND causes physical injuries I can call again".
He has now taken things further, by causing damage and swearing that I did it myself, then suggesting "therapy" for my "delusions". This behaviour has all been witnessed by other people, yet I have still been refused any help, other than aforementioned parenting course.
I have had no contact with any of my family or various friends in the past year, solely due to his behaviour. I am thousands of pounds in debt from replacing and/or repairing household items, including furniture, doors and damage to the house itself (which is rented). I have become more and more isolated and have been unable to work for years, as school still insists on calling and sending him home, even though I have made them fully aware of my situation. I am living in a state of constant awareness and find it difficult to relax enough to sleep or even eat a lot of the time. He is fully aware of and thoroughly enjoying the effect of his behaviour towards me.
If he w

Gilesd1974 12/06/2019 at 4:36 pm

My grandson is 5. He has listening problems but acts like a normal 5 year old. His father punishes him by smacking him in the back of head and grounding him for a week to his bed. No TV, toys, ect. He gets up to eat and go to bathroom. I am not a biological grandmother. So I don't know what to do. His mother lets the father handle him. But I think it is abuse. I have confronted him and he says he is the father. Am I wrong? He is 5. He hasn't even started school yet.

Shazza 05/06/2019 at 2:56 pm

I personally don’t think this punishment is bad . It makes me sick when parents are trying to punish children for bad behaviour school and social services try to tell you your doing wrong , but when the child becomes a big problem in the class it’s the parents fault . Let parents discipline their children the way they want as long as they don’t beat them or punish to extreme

Tamzin 04/05/2019 at 11:39 am

I'm the child , I've been grounded for 4 months , don't get out , don't get my phone , have to sit in my room all day everyday . My dad smacks me . He smacked me the other day and it really hurt it was bright red for ages and he kicked me really hard the other day as well he is always screaming and swearing at me I don't like it :( , lucky I've found my old iPad to say this I don't know what to do because I just want to see my friends and to get out this house , it's the same with my brother but hes 16 now and he told me you can get a house from the council or something .... Bye

GB 16/11/2018 at 11:36 pm

UK law is not allowing parents to discipline their own children.As a result we are seeing useless, homeless and criminal minds kids everywhere. There are lack of skilled kids now a days, thats why UK needs to hire skill worker from the countries where there are free to discipline children as parents like. UK hire so called talented worker from country like India. The fact is they are jobless and useless in their country and UK count them as talented and highly skilled. In Asian and Other countries child are slapped, bitten and disciplined by their parents but child still loved their parents and support them till their death. Animals give birth to baby, feed them, care them till they are capable of themselves, and they seperate. Western Countries are following the same animal culture.

Blah 28/07/2018 at 9:08 am

My mum shouts at me repeatedly and fines me money whenever I disagree with her of forget to do something... is it legal for her to take my money away even though I have no means of income

Mickey mouse 06/07/2018 at 11:49 pm

Hi
I really cannot understand the fuss about smacking your child and what is the need for removing it from schools. I got the cane from age 7 to 18 in school and it made me a better person. It made me respect my teachers, parents and myself. If I look at modern parents they look lost as they can't seem to control their kids (They bribe them with sweets or throw a tatrum). Kids do not respect laws anymore. I catch them continually stealing from stores swearing at shop owners and police when they get caught. Do we think this modern way of teaching our kids not to respect their parents or anyone else including themselves are a good thing. So, all I am trying to say is that children get abused in all forms.So don't think cause you are not smacking your child you are now not abusing them. We as parents need to understand that you can still be a loving parent and good parent even if you give your child a hiding. The conclusion to my story is that I still love my parents and still talk to my teachers as I know they all cared for me and made me a better me.

LawAndParents Editor 12/06/2018 at 10:50 am

See if you can get some help from children's services at your local council - they may be willing to refer you for parenting classes etc. The Family Rights Group helpline is also a good place to get help.

Powell53 09/06/2018 at 12:31 am

Hi my son was misbehaving in class in which a teacher phone to explain when I'd went i did shouted at my son for misbehaving and told him that I'd take his game console out of his room and was grounded next day social services and police came to the door and said what I'd done was wrong but worst of all my son had only made lies up saying that I've hit his mam and I've thrown keys and plates at him I'm frightened I'm going to lose him has he been getting bullied in school as well in which I been asking for help for last three years I don't know who to turn to.

SSagain 27/03/2018 at 6:37 pm

My son is 16, and has an ASD. Over the past 2 years his use of the computer has become more and more excessive, Skyping with an older girl in the US and her friends. Tried every way I could think of to manage his computer use, agreed limits, which he ignored, parental controls which he bypassed with the help of his father who gave him data (we are divorced, documented history of violence and abuse) locking devices up overnight, he broke into the cupboard. Finally I locked his computer and phone in a safe. The result was the girl in the US reported me to the NSPCC. I am accused of having extreme political views (I am a card carrying Liberal Democrat), withholding his schizophrenia medication (he is not schizophrenic), calling him names (he lied to me, and I told him so) not giving him a house key (true, there is always someone to let him in) withholding his computer, this was repeated throughout the report and is absolutely true. NSPCC reported me to SS, and SS recommended he stay with his father, where there were no parental controls, and he had 24/7 access to the computer - at that point I was completely unaware SS had become involved, or of the NSPCC report. My ex simply told me my son would not come home from contact. I did not become aware of NSPCC Report or SS involvement until last week. I did write to CAMHS on 2 March, because I was concerned for my son, and to say my former husband was emailing me saying SS considered me an unfit mother, copying CAMHS the correspondence from ex on that. I obtained a copy of the report from the NSPCC Data Protection (they provide redacted reports in line with freedom of information law) and I immediately knew it was malicious and the work of this girl in the US. SS are now very excited about the fact that I got a copy of the NSPCC report, they are not happy about it at all. I have spoken with my son and learned the girl has indecent images of him, I have reported the matter to CEOPS, and taken the computers to the Police. SS want to interview me, the SS officer was yelling at me on the phone today, turns out that they did nothing to safeguard my son when they recommend he stay with his father, nothing to ensure any computer parental controls were in place, possibly they are also worried about not letting me know about the NSPCC report or the fact that they were involved for 2 months, during which the ex was met several times, as was my son, (son told not to tell me about meetings by SS). SS focussed entirely on investigating me for abuse..... Which is horrifying. In short, SS are gunning for me, and circling their wagons, I have tried to protect my son, they have failed to protect him by recommending he stay with a parent who has no computer safeguarding in place, and I have reported to CEOPS while SS are searching for evidence that I am abusive... Which they won't find unless telling your son lying is wrong, being a Liberal Democrat, and not giving a child who schizophrenia medication w

Backinourday 21/03/2018 at 10:34 am

When your 11 year old step son will not do anything he is told. Do what he wants. Will not stay in when grounded. Go to bed when told. Stop you sleeping by standing in your room talking or being noisey. Rips up things. Laughs in your face. Says his mum is stupid. Nothing she can do. Calls me
rude names. Simply got used to doing what he wants. Saying you can't touch me. You can't make me do anything. We try to take Xbox or phone away as punishment. But he will not let us take it and can't risk touching him. As he says he will call the police. All he wants tobdo is eat crisps chocolate. Chips. Play on his xbox. Playing fortnite, gets violent if we try to turn it off. What do we do?

My 15/03/2018 at 6:14 am

Smacked my son he told the he today the social workers and they came to take my 4 kids away so I am going to court tomorrow

TThe TTribe 23/02/2018 at 1:28 pm

I have a 5 children, ranging from 3 to 9,
The school they attend have told me it is "illegal" for me to make my child stand with their hands on their heads instead of smacking them and i am "abusing" my children.
Everything i have seen regarding child laws ect seam to say the light smack back of the legs , no marks, and 'reasonable chastisement' .

Is what the school told me purely waffle or is there actually some stand point to this?

They are not made to bend knee and form a stress position, simply stand straight and place your hands on your head and do not talk or fidget,
If they ask to/say they need the toilet , they go, theres no stopping them from going to the toilet and if its a short time before a meal , they still sit and join in the meal, after they return to hands on heads.
I rarely find my self having to shout and just have to say "how do you think "blah" feels?" And with them all being young girls the answer is usually "sad" , sorrys hugs are said ect and life returns

LawAndParents Editor 13/02/2018 at 10:12 am

It is legal to "ground" a child but if you think there is something untoward going on in the home, encourage her to call Childline and talk about it.

Jordan 11/02/2018 at 4:51 am

My girlfriend ended up ditching about a week in total time over the span of 5 months. She have been grounded for the past 5-6 months and has about 1-3 months left. On top of being grounded she has been treated like crap by her mom and dad. Her mom consistently yells at her even when I'm standing right next the her. She is afraid to go home everyday because of her dad but she won't tell me why. Is it legal to do that?

Da Best In Da World 01/02/2018 at 6:33 am

My mother made me leave all my friends to go to netball or otherwise I had to go straight home, be grounded for a month and give her £25 is that illegal?

LawAndParents Editor 15/12/2017 at 12:22 pm

You will need to argue your case in the courts, we can't really comment on this.

Mo 12/12/2017 at 6:31 pm

I have smacked my 13 years old daughter for bad behaviour and been charged by police I have court in two days do I have any rights taking in account it’s the first time ever I have done such a thing without the intention of causing harm and didn’t leave a mark ?

LawAndParents Editor 01/11/2017 at 10:56 am

We can't tell you what's right and what's wrong as all situations and children are different. As long as you child knew that she wasn't supposed to stay up late etc and/or why she's has to put up with the consequences of that, it should all work out. Oh...and make sure she knows you love her unconditionally, know matter what :-)

Mother in need 29/10/2017 at 12:30 pm

My daughter was late home after she had a sleepover with her friends now she told me she was up all night and woke up late so we had a argument and now all of her technology has been taken away from her and she has been grounded for about a month now is this the right thing that I have done?

Daddy daycare 22/05/2017 at 7:42 pm

My ex patters new boyfriend smacked my 2year old son on the hand for making a mess when he was playing so I wan to if there is any thing I can do as a father

LawAndParents Editor 05/08/2016 at 2:40 pm

Who do you want to complain about?

Aj 05/08/2016 at 8:01 am

Last night I was shouting at my daughter for leaving rubbish and dishes in the kitchen. She is 19 and is home from university for the summer. She proceeded to scream and shout and smash her room up. SHE called the police and said I was screaming at her for not doing her chores . The police arrived . I was downstairs she was up no physical contact had happened just a mother and daughter shouting at each other from a distance . The police arrived and threatened to arrest and remove me from my home because I was Breaching the peace .. They made matters much worse . Can I complain because this can't be right ..

Dndee 16/05/2016 at 12:15 am

I seem someone smack a child In the face is that right?

Jane 01/08/2015 at 10:32 pm

I grounded my son for life once when he'd driven me mad. His friends came and campedout at tbe garden gate. He's 29now and still grounded

LawAndParents Editor 19/06/2015 at 12:12 pm

@mumof8. They may stay in contact to keep an eye on any future developments.

mumof8 15/06/2015 at 6:20 pm

Ok so my 13 yr old has aquised my husband his stepdad of battering him which never happened as i was there
Anyway he went and told his school who contacted ss and police he wasnt allowed home coz my husbanf was here my question is when the case is unproven do i have to still have ss contact

dancingtt 24/05/2015 at 6:37 pm

My daughter and the father of my grandchild separated late last year so my 2yr old grandson sees his dad every Tuesday and every other weekend. For the last few times he has come home from being with his dad he has been upset and told his mum (my daughter) that his daddy smacks him and it hurts. Now I know children of all ages can be naughty, but it seems my grandson is being smacked for not saying goodbye to his other nana and granddad and his dad's new girlfriend, am I wrong in thinking that he's just too young to understand this new change in his life and his dad should not be smacking him for such small things? It's breaking my heart.

LawAndParents Editor 18/02/2015 at 2:48 pm

@Nan. If both parents have PR - something as important as changing the child's school should have the consent of them both. Your daughter can follow this up via the courts.

Nan 17/02/2015 at 6:39 pm

Is it legal for my daughters estranged husband to change their son's school without my daughter being notified?

LawAndParents Editor 07/01/2015 at 10:53 am

@Legendisthename. No there are no laws on this, all parents decide on these things according to the circumstances. This person should speak with their parents to negotiate an outcome so that the parent knows they can trust them enough to remove some of the grounding restrictions.

Legendisthename 04/01/2015 at 2:00 am

I was wondering, is there a certain time you can ground your child for as I know someone that has been grounded for a very long time and she has no social life what so ever? Just wondering if there is or not as I can't find anything on the Internet about it...

floppie 06/11/2013 at 5:06 pm

my son is sixteen and keeps letting me know it ,, do i have any say in what he is allowed to do and not to do i am his mum and just dont know which way to turn please advice or give me a link were i can get information from thank you Tracey

Nick 09/08/2013 at 2:21 pm

I'm sorry to hear about what your kids are suffering if this true you have a duty of care to your children to keep them safe what I would do apart from giving him a warning with strong words is keep your kids don't let them go back to there mum this is not illegal nor criminal so the police have no legal right to remove them from your care is all they can do at most is check the kids are safe and well the second thing you need to do is get a solicitor and take it to court so the children stay with you and if your ex turns up and starts call the police as that is illegal for her to do I wish you the best and hope it all goes well

phish 28/01/2013 at 11:08 pm

my girlfriend has a eight year old girl , an recently her daughter had a episode an began hitting her mother . after several attempts to put the child in time out an trying to reason with her, my my girlfriend reluctantly spanked the child with her hand. no marks or bruises where left on the child. is this acceptable when all other attempts to deal with the child had no effect and actually just made the girl act out worse.

lalila 10/09/2012 at 4:10 am

My grandson is driving my daughter crazy. He is extremely unruly to the point that she just moved to an apartment complex and the management is writing a letter with complaints. He is aggressive, vulgar, disrespectful and does what he wants whenever. He has been getting counseling for years including seeing a psychiatrist. He smokes pot and for that reason the medication given to him for his possible manic depression is ineffective. My daughter wants to turn him over as a ward of the state because she seems that to get support from any of the agencies she has gone to. Should she get an attorney or what agency can she contact. We are from the state of Ohio.

chunky monkey 20/07/2012 at 7:45 pm

first of all, as a parent you are allowed to chastise your child by smacking. absolutely NO-ONE else is allowed to smack your child no matter how hard or soft.
my only advice to you is to report the abuse to the police, if possible take your children to the police station and get them to tell them. by law they have to investigate it. if you notice any marks, reddening, bruises etc. photograph them and keep as evidence. you could try the social services, but generally they're f*****g useless and never listen. you are finding it hard because you are male, unfortunately the system always favours women. i bet if you had to smack your child and you ex reported it, you would be arrested like a shot. but seriously if you are concerned go to the police, make and keep records of everyone you speak to and everything that is said. dont accept no, if the officer you speak to does nothing, ask to see a superior officer and so on. you could try the social services first, but if this person is smacking your child, then that is a criminal offense and the police must act, if they only go and question him that will be a start, and send a message to watch out.
hope this helps
best of luck
steve

Worried_dad 30/06/2012 at 12:18 pm

Hi, long story made short. I have suffered 5 years of the worst kind of emotional abuse from my ex wife, who is a cruel, uncaring,manipulative control freak.
The stories I could tell you would make your hair curl, and how she has manipulated the authorities,and basically anyone who will listen to make HER appear as the victim.

Last year, after much to'ing and fro'ing, after myself and my mother were abused on a 4 day short break holiday, I was left with no choice after her final, despicable deed, I left her.

Just one week later, she went to a nightclub and met another guy, 1 week after that, my kids are sleeping at his house, 3 month's after that, she has moved in with him.

My 4 year old daughter reported to me on pick up for access one Saturday " Daddy, *** called mummy a bully and slapped her REALLY hard on her hand,and mummy was crying"

My 3 year old son was playing with toys in my flat, he accidentally knocked a tv remote from a low coffee table, he immediately stood bolt upright, lowered his head, looking down at the floor and said " Sorry" in a very timid voice-he had never behaved like this before, I cuddled him and told him not to worry.

I emailed my ex, asking her why my daughter had said those things, she said, " No, it was *** (new b/f) He smacked my daughter as she was winding up her brother.
It would appear to me that this in itself is wrong anyway, but has tried to deny my daughter had said her boyfriend had slapped mummy on the hand.

I am extremely concerned for my children's welfare, my ex wife has profound psycholgical problems, and is always yelling at someone for no good reason, always either manically happy, or incerdibly angry, her moods have always vascillated like this, that's the reason I left as I had taken all I could.

I have met a lovely girl and we have a great relationship, she is gentle, kind and secure, a complete contrast to my ex.
I can assure you I am no vindictive ex, I am just so worried about my children living with her, and now it seems another man is smacking my kids too. I have full PR, but no one listens to me, my concerns are ignored, no one helps. Please, just someone listen to my concerns and tell me what I can do????

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