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Your Rights as a Grandparent

Author: Liz Baron
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Your Rights as a Grandparent

Grandparents, whether maternal or paternal, play a vital role in any family unit. As more women become focused on careers and wish to return to work after giving birth, grandparents are playing a much bigger role in childcare. Studies show that large amounts of non-parental childcare is carried out by grandparents, which alone demonstrates how important grandparents are.

With so many marriages ending in divorce, it is understandable for grandparents to worry about whether their relationship with grandchildren will become severed, particularly where their son or daughter was the one who ended the marriage. As a result, many grandparents are facing the heartbreak of being separated from loved ones and are having to fight to keep in contact.

The Law

Step-parents who have lived as part of a family for three years were given the right to apply for contact under the Children Act 1989, but the same rights were not afforded to grandparents. Grandparents, therefore, have had to apply to the courts just to ask permission to make a request for some sort of contact. This can be a protracted and expensive process.

It was thought that grandparents would be given legal rights to maintain contact with their grandchildren, to help recognise the important role they play. Unfortunately, however, this plan does not seem to have come into fruition.

First Steps

The first step is to try and maintain a relationship with the parents, if communications have not broken down fully already. If you can talk, you may be able to persuade them that you will not take sides, you only want what is best for the children and will help to support them in any way that you can.

Hopefully this will work. However, it is most usual that relationships have significantly broken down and that parents are not willing to cooperate whilst tempers flare and emotions are still raw.

If this is the case, then you may be able to use mediation as a way forward. A mediator, who is completely independent, can try and help you reach an agreement with the parents. This can only take place if both parties agree and you are likely to have to fork out for the full costs. Additionally, mediation is a step worth taking only if you believe that you have a strong chance of success i.e. do you believe that you are likely to be able to persuade the parent(s) to a) participate fully and b) negotiate to allow some form of contact. If relations are too strained, then the only way forward may be to obtain a Contact Order through the courts.

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Contact Orders

If these methods do not work, then you may wish to apply for a contact order through the courts. Parents have an automatic right to apply for contact, which differs from grandparents. Although the courts are starting to recognise how important grandparents are to the family, you must seek leave from the court to apply for a Contact Order in the first instance.

If this is successful, then your request for contact will be considered. This is the point when a CAFCASS Welfare Officer will be appointed to speak to all the parties involved, investigate all of the issues with regards to welfare and to draft a report to assist the court in their decision.

If you have a very strong report from the CAFCASS Officer, then it is usually useful in persuading the parent(s) with care to allow contact with your grandchild. If this does not work, however, then there will be a full hearing.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Hearing

At the hearing, both sides will give evidence and the court will take into account the CAFCASS Officer's report. Ultimately, the court will consider the child's best interests at all times. In most circumstances, the court will consider that grandparents, who have played a large role in their grandchild’s life, should continue to be involved. You will therefore need to persuade the court that you are more than beneficial to the children and that they will suffer if you do not continue to play a part in their life.

Can the Parents Ignore a Contact Order?

You may find that although a contact order has been awarded in your favour, you are still struggling to maintain contact with your loved ones. The court's powers have recently been increased to make it extremely difficult for the order to be ignored. They are therefore, in place to ensure that grandparents can still have a loving and fulfilling relationship with their grandchildren.

The Next Step

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Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Parental Rights Checker lets you check your legal rights as a parent on education, health and welfare decisions. Try it now →

154 questions
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Alison 25/04/2022 at 3:22 pm
I have overnight access to my grandson, who has severe Epilepsy. His mother will not tell me the name and dosage of the medication I have to give him morning and night. She measures it out and sends it. But I don't know his home address, GP, Consultant or medication in the event of emergency. I also have none spare in event of spillage or vomiting. I feel that this is a dangerous situation for.both my grandson and me. I live in very rural Scotland
Rufus 21/08/2020 at 10:38 pm
Hi I heave 2 granddaughters not only I can’t see but my daughters whole family.
3 years ago we went to the add of my daughter and her daughter only had 1 then. We rescued her from abusive situation. My daughter has bio polar due to her illness being unstable she returned. She since had another daughter. We have recently found out we are not talked about in fact last thing my son in law said to me was die .my daughter is dreadful unhappy not having us all in her girls lives including all the cousins . My son in law totally control freak . What can we do please ?
Denis 16/08/2020 at 6:04 am
My relationship broke down with my daughter when my granddaughter was just a few months old myself and her other grandmother was suppose to share having her when my daughter went back to work,but out the blue I was told that the 3 of them had ,had a meeting and it was decided that myself was to busy at work to have my granddaughter, my daughter told me and I wasn’t very happy and told her so since then 2yrs ago I’ve hardly seen my granddaughter and my daughter refuses to answer my txt , it’s so upsetting and I wish there was something I could do
None of them 07/07/2020 at 1:58 pm
I’ve had a break down in relationship with my daughter over the last 2 years becouse of her husband gambling addiction I’ve not been allowed to see my grand children for 2 years a boy 12 and a girl aged 9 In feb this year on my grandchildren’s request I was allowed to see them once a week n,so much love and affection as been shown by both children over the past few months. But the started to aSo for presents which within reason I gave This has become regular the last being a 1. 250 bike which is way beyond my means I adore my grand children Today I was contacted by my granddaughter to be verbally abused by her mother become she felt like it
None of them 27/06/2020 at 8:31 pm
I’ve had a break down in relationship with my daughter over the last 2 years becouse of her husband gambling addiction I’ve not been allowed to see my grand children for 2 years a boy 12 and a girl aged 9 In feb this year on my grandchildren’s request I was allowed to see them once a week n,so much love and affection as been shown by both children over the past few months. But the started to aSo for presents which within reason I gave This has become regular the last being a 1. 250 bike which is way beyond my means I adore my grand children Today I was contacted by my granddaughter to be verbally abused by her mother become she felt like it she’s even got my grand children to block me How hurtful she’s got me heart broken and imagine My grandchildren are also. All becouse of her husbands Gambling
Tra 13/04/2020 at 1:35 pm
Hi, my daughter stopped us seeing our grandchildren 9 months ago. She has had mental health issues for the past 5yrs and has had lapses and been hospitalised a couple of time. We where always there and supported her by taking care of the children. She has now stopped access because we could not look after the kids because of work commitments. I tbink that the children will have been very upset over the loss of contact as are we. Do you think we should apply to the courts for contact and is this possible.
Lis 20/02/2020 at 6:27 pm
Advice please my daughter is living with a complete idiot. He has in the 2 years they have been together had her flat raided and drugs found,continues to smoke.canibis in the home to the point my grandson who is not his stinks of the stuff and my daughter doesn't see it as being an issue even when he play fights with him leaves bruises. Can any one offer any help or advice as to how I can deal.with this thanks
Wilson44 17/02/2020 at 3:10 pm
My daughter and her partner split up nearly a year ago he was abusive to her breaking her arm etc in front of child. His parents have only seen child 3 times since she was born 2 and a half years ago now they want contact .the child is my granddaughter and living with us as social services put a section 20 in place . Do you think they will allow grandparents to see her very worried as she’s already a mixed up little girl . Thank you
Help 21/11/2019 at 2:40 am
I have had my grandson living with me all his life on and off he has lived fully with me now for 2yrs fully I home educate him his mum and my son split up around 3yrs ago my grandson only knows us as his family he was 3 months old when we took him and his mum into our family my son had 2 daughters to her also I have a special bond with my grandson as due to circumstances hes been with me for all his life on and off I had 3 boys so it was easy for me to take him on just like having my own boys but it's been fine but mum has a new boyfriend and is now taking more of a stand about having him I'm arranging his life as remember he lives with me ie his education and social interactions then his mum rings on a whim and we have to change our plans and she has been with her boyfriend for only 2 months and my grandson when he sees his mum is forced to interact not with mum but her new boyfriend it's to soon for my grandson who thinks if he doesn't do as expected of him his mum will punish him by making him move back home he still sees my
son regularly he has a brilliant relationship with my son my grandson knows nobody else as dad he is called by my sons second name not yet legally but to education school drs etc as when he was born he was named after his fathers last name but his blood father has never been interested in him at all ever even though mum did give him the chance he was not interested he made no attempt at all to see my grandson hes only ever called my son dad he has no idea hes always known me as nan and he would not handle it if his mother tried to change his routine life around as my grandson is not like other kids hes being tested for autism I'm so scared I dont sleep with worry also my grandson has told our dr his worries about the situation and the boyfriend smoking weed where he was and the dr has a duty of care to report it so I'm so scared his mum will take him back and punish him for opening his mouth as she tells kids to lie to me and dad and they ommit things until like I said he opened up to dr he went home for a weekend he was jumping of the walls when he came home what do I do pease help
Boo 16/11/2019 at 2:50 pm
Hi I am a nanny to my beautifull 2 year old grandaughter.
My son and her mummy have recently seperated.
There are constant mental battles and mind games being played by mummy everytime i want to have my grandaughter.
I used to have her for the day every tuesday whilst mummy went back to work but during school holidays things would always get planned so I didnt have her or if I wanted to see her I had to spend the day with mummy and siblings. I never have her alone now I feel mummy would prefer if I didnt see her.If I do have her
She controls everything from what she wears eats where we are going who we are going to see.I am not aloud to buy my grandaughter any little treats.
I dont know what to do or which way to turn I have not taken sides and try to support both partys the same.
Any advice would be great.
SP Annie 15/08/2019 at 4:00 am
Hi, my son and his wife split up before their daughter was a year old. The little girl is now three and a half. My son and I have sustained regular contact with his little girl but it has always been with my son’s ex wife there. It makes it nigh on impossible for us to really build a bond with her because my granddaughter constantly runs to her mum and her mum constantly interferes with our time together; even to the point that she tells us how to play and what to say or not say. I’ve asked for time with my granddaughter alone and I’ve been told the same as my son, that I can only see her with the mother there or, I can see my granddaughter in a public soft play area if it’s wet or a park if it’s dry but she will drop her off and pick her up. Sometimes she will even sit in the car park for the maximum of two hours that we can have her. My son’s ex refuses for either of us to pick her our granddaughter and take her anywhere. We are dictated where and when and under what circumstances we can have contact. My own mother, brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews have never met my granddaughter because of her mother’s controlling nature and when it was Father’s Day, my son was refused to allow him to take his daughter to see his own dad. I recently asked my granddaughter’s Mother why after three and a half years of doing it her way, we can’t be trusted to take my granddaughter out for the day or to visit our family and she refuses to explain. She just tells us that she will drop her off in a public place where it’s safe! To me, she is making assumptions that my son or I am not to be trusted to protect her. I am a teacher and have at one point a designated Safeguarding person in the school that I worked so I find it preposterous that she is making these suggestions. The mother has issues with my son because of some of their aggressive verbal arguments in the past but he has never been anything but loving and caring to his daughter. She is manipulative and seeks to use their volatile marriage as excuses to put barriers in the way. When I asked to see my granddaughter in isolation of my son, I was still told that I could only have my granddaughter under her limited conditions. I have good reason to believe that my ex daughter in law is incredibly insecure and completely reliant and dependent on my granddaughter’s company and this is why she refuses to trust anyone to have proper access separate from her control. She cannot see that her behaviour is selfish and unfair on so many levels and she is not only depriving my son, myself and my family of sharing time with her, but she’s depriving her own daughter of endless opportunities and happy occasions with her family, but more importantly, she is depriving her of a wealth of love that’s always readily available to her. I’d like to go to court and gain rights to have my granddaughter without her mother dictating where we spend our time so that we can actually enjoy each others’ company in a variety of
JS 19/07/2019 at 12:05 am
we have looked after my grand daughter for 6year's. Loved her .
My son has not much loved her at all
Only his son from another relationship.
he knows HOW much we love her
and has just snatch her back from my Mum who was looking after her while I was working. Can I do anything to get her back
Halfpenney 27/06/2019 at 6:28 pm
My mum has become a grandmother April last year,and my mums daughter in law has turned very nasty towards her and myself since the little girl was born.she won't let us spend any time with her,she doesn't let come to us to look after her,she's been saying a lot of lies saying nasty things about people,turned my brother against her etc.the little girl only know her other grandmother,she's there very often,looking after the little one.they have upset my mum so much.tried talking to her,asking her to sort things out,but refused 3 times.what can I do.
Benny 10/06/2019 at 9:01 pm
My daughter died 4 years ago and left behind my 3 year old granddaughter, she lived with my for the majority of her life and she is my only grandchild as my daughter was my only child , her ex partner has a new girlfriend now and she is spending less and less time with me , I’m only 48 and I’m the only connection she has to her mother , my granddaughter who is 7 now cries when she has to go to her dads and has told me she’s scared of him because he’s extremely strict and shouts at her all the time , she’s recently told me that she has wet her bed at her dads , she had expressed to me that she wants to live with me full time but her dad had threatened her that he’s the boss and he can stop her all together from seeing me , we are both at our wits ends, she’s walking on eggshells around him , please help
Laura 29/04/2019 at 6:29 am
I need advise as I have been stop seeing my grandson but my son has taken on her child from a previous relationship from the time she found out she was pregnant I was there for the birth of both the boys,
Stace 24/04/2019 at 12:50 pm
Hi I was wondering if anyone could help me please? I am currently undergoing a court case. My daughters paternal grandmother who has had no involvement in my daughters life is trying to take me to court she has been granted the case to proceed as I couldn't turn up with my daughter being ill. She didn't look after her own children very well and has threatned and harassed me for 3 years now. She is nasty and very poisness, controlling and manipulative. Im really worried for the negative effect she is going to have on my child's life. I am due to go court very soon.. and have no idea what to expect. Will they still grant her rights? And would I be able to ignore court order if she were awarded, she is trying for custody? But my children come from a good home and are happy and we'll loved... please if anyone could give advise of some sort I would be highly greatful...
Kay 03/04/2019 at 1:05 pm
I am a grandparent, the social service have started to take court proceedings to take the grandchildren away from my daughter, who has aspergers, her parner was killed 3 years ago. and they have considered her un-fit to look after them on her own, i have given up my job of 18 years and moved into a caravan to be near, and help her out. lots of agreements have to be met, and she is trying hard to meet them.
We have bought a house in a different area. If I apply for a residential order, do you think I will get it, and would that stop the social service perusing my daughter??
Dolly 30/03/2019 at 1:27 pm
Me and my partner have a beautiful daughter together, his mum has taken us to court for visititation of our daughter and even after our strong upjections my partners mummy was granted with a contact order for 3 hours once a week. We and my partner over The last year have been talking about moving away over seas, could his mum stop us from moving away now there is a contact order in place
Libby 09/02/2019 at 9:26 am
Hi.
I work in retail and have worked for my current employer for over 5years.
My son who does not live with me,came to stay with me for a few days with his young son but fell ill and I had to look after him and his son which meant I had no sleep myself and could not attend work the next day.Does this count as dependency?
Sav 27/01/2019 at 12:06 am
Hi my daughter has got very bad depression so she ask for help from the dad and now he wont let me see him my grandson I have been in his life from when he was born but the father hasn't so I need to see my grandson is very important to me the dad is saying socail service our saying I'm not aloud to see him but I dont think that is true how come I've been in my grandson life and he hasn't hows that fair I need to know if there anything I can do to see him
whatshouldido 10/01/2019 at 11:42 am
My son has court ordered times, this has worked perfectly for the last 8 yrs. A majority of the time (5 days a week) my gc spends with me and loves it. My son has started a new relationship and now lives 2hrs away. The mum is now saying she wants to go back to court as I am having the time with my gc and her not her dad, but this has always been the case. We do not have the funds to go to court again but we do not know where we stand legally, could amyo e offer any advice?
Bettyboop 11/12/2018 at 7:48 pm
Our grand children 5 under 7yrs old have been took in care put up for adoption parents are drug users done armed robbery on remand yet we was put to have all 5 children had assessment and the children social worker had already made it clear we wasn't getting them he aptly left his position we have now our 3rd worker who is no help as she won't let us see 5 grandchildren nor have any members of family met criteria but surely we have right to see those lovely grandchildren until adoption or foster . It's like no one cares what we feel even though the mother sent text stating she wants us involved with the babies it's not been adjourned to by child services why ?? It's killing us .
Tg 27/10/2018 at 9:25 pm
Hi
My daughter walk out taking both her son's with her. She done this after meeting a male online. The male is from aboard he only been in UK for 2 months.
Iv tryed to contact her by text she didn't reply.
She turned her back on her family.
And have change her phone number.
Due to family concern over the welfare and safety for my grand children.
Iv now been given a verbal warning from police to not contact my daughter and to stay away from my grand children school or I will be arrested iv only tryed to contact twice by text and twice by ringing.
What I want to know is how do I go about taking my daughter to court for access to my grand children they've live with me since they were born.
My daughter never left home. Iv raised my grand children mainly doing every thing a partner should do as my daughter would rather sit on the sofa playing games on her phone.
Nannan 28/09/2018 at 11:49 pm
Granddaughter's dad is very intermittent with phone calls and visits, has seen her 7 times in 14 months. Last called beginning of August. Should daughter be looking for legal advice now re contact. ie if he calls at Christmas demanding her to visit and stay when no contact before hand would you advise no not reasonable or fair for her (6yrs old) and that he needs to maintain regular contact as he did previously, prior to his new relationship.
Caz 27/09/2018 at 12:27 pm
Me and my oldest daughter have fell out..shes stop me from seeing my grandson..i seen him being born and always been part of his life..how do i go about trying to gt contact? Shes blocked my number so i cant arrange anything...
d 28/08/2018 at 6:45 pm
My son took his own life 10months ago now his girlfriend is on about changing there surname .what can we do its the only thing we have. She has only just started to let us facetime them after 3months of no contact.
What can we do
Don 19/08/2018 at 9:35 am
My son and girlfriend have split up he has moved on but she is pregnant with his child what rights do we have not sure if his name will be put on birth certificate
LawAndParents Editor 01/08/2018 at 2:57 pm
Not really unfortunately. Talking to the parents is really the best option. Perhaps you could offer to help./support the parents and that way they may give consent for you to contact the school?
Granny 31/07/2018 at 11:22 am
My step-grandson has recently been diagnosed with ADHD, which my husband and I recognised in him some years ago, he’s almost 13. However his mum was in denial. She is now saying that he is on a waiting list for medication. Another worrying result of his behaviour is that his school is excluding him from some lessons as well as sending him home at lunchtime on 2 days a week. As grandparents we would like to help but are not sure if we could intervene at his school to find out why they are dealing with him in this way as well as attempting to contact his GP in respect of not receiving medication. My husband and myself believe that the parents, who are separated, are not discussing this enough with the relevant people and we’re very much aware of how much they shout and scream at our grandson and his siblings instead of talking to them in a more civilised way. Have we any rights in this matter which would entitle us to intervene on his behalf?
Ann 25/07/2018 at 4:09 pm
Hi my relationship between me and my youngest daughter has broken down as she lives with my x husband she gave birth to a baby girl in April and won't let me see her. I also have an older daughter who has 3 boys I've always had contact with them. It's the things she has told me about with the child's father I don't like. I told her I was going to see a solicitor about trying to get access to see my granddaughter my eldest daughter has now stopped speaking to me and I'm not allowed to see my grandsons anymore. Have I got any rights.
Melissa20 25/06/2018 at 12:43 pm
My brother passed away and both my mother and I would like to make contact with his daughter. The mother of the child doesn’t seem like she wants to make efforts. What can we do?
Katierheath 30/05/2018 at 1:33 am
Me and my partner broke up in December 2017 just before Christmas, both dad and grandparents have had nothing to do with both my children my oldest is 2 years and youngest 11 month after 6 months of no contact they now want contact, the dad still doesn't seem bothered but suddenly the nan wants contact have I got a right to stop her and she can't just pick and choose when she wants them.
LawAndParents Editor 14/05/2018 at 3:39 pm
No grandparents can't prevent their children moving away with grandchildren.
Reloc1 12/05/2018 at 10:25 am
Hi we are looking to relocate as a couple and have children together- would our parents (our children’s grandparents) be able to prevent us from relocating? We would never prevent them from visiting us or our children and we would also visit when financially possible. Can you advise? Thanks.
LawAndParents Editor 08/05/2018 at 11:25 am
No residency orders no longer exists - they have been replaced the Child Arrangements Order, which is a court order detailing the living and contact arrangements for the child or children. The courts can order shared residence so that both parents have equal care, or they can order full residence to one parent etc. This will not prevent pick ups/drop offs when the other parent has contact time. If the mother and father cannot be in close proximity due to abuse issues, the courts may order a third party presence at hand over time, or that handovers take place on a neutral ground.
Kid 05/05/2018 at 5:48 pm
My daughter left her home 9 months ago due to an emotionally abusive husband. She and her two young children 8, and 5 have lived here in one bedroom sharing a double bed. She has tried to get a residency order to get back in their privately owned house - but her ex husband has said a redicency order means he couldn’t go near the house if the order was granted, (he would need to go to the house to pick the children up) is he lying - thank you
LawAndParents Editor 25/04/2018 at 3:08 pm
Unless it's a voluntary agreement between you and your niece, it's unlikely this would be considered unless the child was removed from your niece by social services in which case you might be able to apply to foster/adopt etc.
LawAndParents Editor 25/04/2018 at 12:55 pm
There are no automatic rights for this but some cases have been successful. Could you not just ask your son to bring her to see you?
Concerned 23/04/2018 at 7:46 pm
Our niece is a single parent to a 20 month old boy, she drinks, takes drugs, spends most nights out with her friends while other family members look after the child. For the sake of the child’s well being and upbringing If this carries on my wife and I want to step in and apply for custody. Would this be an impossible task or is it something that would be possible to do under family custody laws?
T 23/04/2018 at 4:54 pm
Hi my Daughter has just had a baby who is 2month old. My Daughter is not with the Dad but he sees her regularly and so does the other Nan. I was seeing her 2 days a week for a couple of hours. This as suddenly stopped for no reason. The other Nan and myself do not get on and it looks like she has convinced my Daughter that she shouldn't let her come to see me. I have asked to see her but just get that the other Nan has got her. I'm finding this very upsetting cause I have done nothink wrong for my Daughter to be like this. Do I have rights to see my Granddaughter? My son is also upset about this to. Thank you
LawAndParents Editor 09/04/2018 at 11:12 am
Before you are able to apply for any benefits or maintenance in respect of the children, you will need to have an official residence or guardianship order in place. Citizens' Advice will assist with your applications if you are not sure how to approach this.
Chnd456 06/04/2018 at 5:33 pm
I have had my grandchildren of 5 and 3 living with me since Sept neither parent gives us any money we feed and clothe them both and run them to and from thier mums house I now need to know can I claim for them and would I stand a chance to get cusdoy of them both
Ange 31/03/2018 at 2:09 pm
I would like to reply to Grammy and all other grandparents who s grandchildren are in foster care. If you are able to care for your grandchildren and the authorities are not letting you have contact apply for an SGO. Special Guardianship Order. You will need a solicitor and need to be assessed but what have you got to lose at the very least you may gain contact.
LawAndParents Editor 20/03/2018 at 12:10 pm
You don't have to see them if you choose not to. If they want contact with your son, the court will listen to your viewpoint and if necessary involve others' opinions. If you don't feel they are a threat to your son, perhaps you could arrange pick up and collection via a third party?
Cherryblossom 18/03/2018 at 5:35 pm
Hi.

Over the past year I have been in therapy unpicking years of psychological abuse at the hands of my parents. I was also subjected to physical abuse on a handful of occasions. My mother is mentally unwell and has tried to kill herself in the past which I was subjected to as a child. However the years of abuse they covered up with medicating me and saying I was unwell so it carried on. Last year I went no contact after my mother squared up to me in front of my son. I had time away to explore ny feelings with my therapist and tried to implement boundaries however they didn't stick to these long and my son began complaining about being unwell all the time and being messed up in his head like my mother had said to me all these years. I reduced contact again to one weekly with my son until my dad hit me in front of him. I tried to explain how I felt but had to block them and cut contact for ny own sake. Again with the support of my therapist. Now I've received a mediation/court letter.

I dont want contact with then and I don't feel they are healthy to be around my son because of the damage they have caused me.

Legally where do I stand?
Lio 15/03/2018 at 7:27 pm
I have a15 year old son approaching 16 he was upset his sister invaded his privacy got angry and lashed out I as mother told him he is wrong shouted and grounded him at that point he walked out and went to live with nanny he won’t see me and has said he will only come here if I don’t shout and getter better internet meanwhile in his nans care he got arrested had his hand broke not attending school so I got angry and shouted at mother in law she has now told me he won’t return and she is going to court to get parental responsibility can she do this
LawAndParents Editor 13/03/2018 at 12:51 pm
Would it really be fair on your son to remove contact with his father? Try and come to some arrangement for the father to see his son at specific times around the father's working times so you can prepare your son in advance. The more this happens, the less your son will be upset.
Nik 10/03/2018 at 5:25 pm
Hi , me and my ex don't get on any more and would like to where I stand to him seeing his son he is away most of the time with work and sees his son when it suits him but my son is getting to emotional when he leaves and becomes angry and tearful this could last for days and is effecting him he is on the birth certificate can I stop him from seeing his son we were never married .
Gmail.com 02/02/2018 at 7:01 am
Recently asked to leave house which we shared with S & Dil and
GD.
No reason given.Son died 28117.new beau moved in Sept17,
Had to leave 070117.They in house now.They deserted us over Xmas to his parents hse.only ret once wed moved.GD was on CP as baby as dil had child prev lives with her mum under residents order.now 12 yrs old.shall I write to dil asking to see GD using your template letter?
LawAndParents Editor 29/01/2018 at 10:17 am
We can't really advise here as we don't know any of the details. It sounds as though you've followed all the right procedures to raise your complaint though.
Grammy 26/01/2018 at 12:03 am
Social services have denied me contact with 2 of my grandchildren . They are in separate foster homes. I am their only Grandparent and always had a very close bond with them. I have complanned without success I have just gone to Stage two complaints with social care. I have
enough also contacted the Ombudsman. Without going into detail we feel discriminated against and there are many issues we have as the case is complex. Have you any advice what I can do next.

Regards
Pauline Sweeney
Den 25/01/2018 at 10:04 am
My sons ex went into a homeless hostel with my grandchildren she got social services involved saying he was an unfit father ! This was found to be not the case ! Now she won’t let him see the children! She sends abusive texts and he has blocked her no ! How can he get to see his children legally ! What if she won’t agree to mediation??
Suzannehelen 22/01/2018 at 9:20 pm
Hi my grandaughter is in care of her mothers family member. My son and his partner have been see her weekly and myself monthly. However they have just been to court and have been told that as of now they will only be allowed to see her once a month with no explanation. I am terrified that my grandaughter is going to be put in care or adopted on a long term basis. What should I do as a nanny who loves her grandaughter dearly and still wants to keep contact with her.
Pen 17/01/2018 at 3:27 am
My 3 grandchildren were put in my care by the police and social services, my oldest grandchild who is 5 doesn’t want to go back to parents, does she have to go back?
LawAndParents Editor 16/01/2018 at 9:50 am
If you have a contact order in place, you can go back to the court for breach, but it's difficult if you don't know the whereabouts of the mother and child. The courts will sometimes help with the location of the mother if a contact order has been breached. In England the court form to use would be form C4 but we don't know which form to use in Scotland sorry.
Christina 13/01/2018 at 2:11 am
Can someone help me. I have been through court and have access to my 6year old grandson once a fortnight until now. His mum's just moved 300miles away and so far I don't know where they are. Can the courts help me get back my contact? Is she allowed to just leave without letting us know? Our order is in Scotland if she's crossed the borders is it still enforced? Thanks in advance
daisy_ 08/01/2018 at 6:50 pm
Hi, i would like to know if i am able to put a case across for my mum/dad the grandparents of my child? Or do they have to do this one their selves in order for to gain access.

Thanks
annej71 06/12/2017 at 4:46 pm
I was seeing my granddaughter once every two weeks. My brother has just been given special guardianship of her and informed me that the mother doesn't want me seeing my granddaughter more than what she does. what can I do
Rene 11/11/2017 at 1:20 am
Hi iam a paternal grandmother always supported my sons ex the child has had a lot of problems with her an her mum social serves are involed now the mother has said she want me to take my grandchild full time but I don't no where I stand leagey social serves said I have to speak with a solicitor an let them no an they will back me with the funding an so on can anyone help me get any answers please
LawAndParents Editor 10/11/2017 at 2:31 pm
Grandparents do not automatically have contact rights. You could try talking to other grandparent to see if you can arrange some contact. It might be worth applying to the courts but we don't know how successful this would be as we're not familiar with your circumstances.
benthedog 08/11/2017 at 5:49 pm
my grandson lives with his other grand partent have i the right to see him
LawAndParents Editor 06/11/2017 at 3:35 pm
We can't really advise you what to do as you know better than anyone, the effect that it will have on your life as well as those of your granddaughter and daughter.
Eks 06/11/2017 at 10:09 am
My granddaughter has been in placed in care interim care order because her father is getting into trouble and has been placed in custody.I was seeing my granddaughter in a contact centre now that has been stopped.I did put my name forward for care but,had to retract this as my 3 year old has significant special needs and felt I would not be able to give both the attention they needed.My daughter still she's her 3 times a week in a contact centre but, I feel the longer she goes without seeing us as a family the bond we had with her will be broken she 1.5 years old and in the photos I get of her she doesn't seem happy compared to photos I have of her when she was seeing us everyday.Just don't know what to do next or should I just re-apply for care.This little girl deserves so much more.
Kaz 29/10/2017 at 8:26 am
I have two grandchildren that live in Cornwall and I live in London the children have been typing away from my daughter from mental health & neglect my granddaughter is with her dad and grandmother in Cornwall I have only see her once and she is three years old I just spoke to social services they won't tell me nothing because my daughter put in a letter to the courts not have any contact with me my grandson is now back living with his mother and her violent boyfriend no one will tell me anything I was told to stay away by social services spoke to solicitors and they said I have no rights
Joss 16/10/2017 at 11:09 pm
I have two grand children, my daughter has stopped me from seeing them as she does not like my partner.I have never done anything but love and spoil them. We have always got on, but now my daughter is wipeing me out of there lives. My partner was drunk one night and hit my daughter he never marked her, she was at my home on bail as she smacked my granddaughter for crying in her car seat. Her husband punched her in the eye for doing so. My partner went to prison for 9mths.While he was there i saw my grankids and as my daughter had gone back home. When my partner came home i saw them still.But simce April this year i havent. My partner does not want anything to do with her, so i dont understand why she has stopped me. Is there anything i can do?
Hoppy J 13/10/2017 at 7:54 pm
My daughter is neglecting my grankids mentally plus in hygienic situations I spoke to schools as my 8 yr grandson refused to go home so I have him social services been informed by schools RE: neglect ect what if she demands him Home before they have spoke to her she leaves 3 little ones alone while she goes out??
LawAndParents Editor 27/09/2017 at 10:11 am
Are you prepared to action as a legal guardian apply for special guardianship order? This might help you. You need to talk to someone on an individual basis - try the the Family Lives helpline
Sammyloo 25/09/2017 at 11:53 am
My granddaughter has been taken in to foster care.
Can I see my granddaughter as social services won’t give me any information at all as I have no rights! I’m devastated and desperate to see my granddaughter I don’t know what to do?!
LawAndParents Editor 18/09/2017 at 2:08 pm
There isn't really a great deal you can do unfortunately. The Grandparent Plus website does have some information which could be useful.
Joe 16/09/2017 at 5:53 pm
Hi, my husband and I were stopped from having any contact with our grandson over 4 years ago. We tried mediation within months of this happening but they ignored our request. We have not had any contact with our son and grandson since they chose to do this and after 2 years they were later divorced. He still has his son, our grandson, regularly and his ex has remarried and had another child since and our son is now in a long term relationship. This has caused a massive family rift as my husbands family still see our son and grandson and it has been extremely hard to continue having a relationship with any of them. My side of the family are not allowed to see our grandson either. My question is if we no longer see our son are we still allowed to go to court as I'm sure he has no intention of any reconciliation with us? I don't know his address as he has moved since, or my ex daughter in laws but I'm sure we could find out somehow. We really are and have been for a long time, at a loss as what to do for the best. We chose after much soul searching to let them go as we couldn't face any more rejection or upset but our grandson is now at school and it breaks our heart that we don't know him and he doesn't know us, we have so much love to give which we gave him for the first year of his life. With hope x
LawAndParents Editor 11/09/2017 at 2:13 pm
Contact the relevant social services department first of all. They may be able to make suggestions as to how you can become involved in the care of your grandchildren (eg guardianship order etc). Unfortunately if you merely want "visiting rights" you may have to apply via the courts.
Lel 09/09/2017 at 4:10 pm
Hello. My daughter as gone back to her abusive partner. After being in a women's refuge. She as 3 sons. The oldest age 12 as told us he wad threatened twice by his father. Police took a statement from my grandson. My daughter told the refuge she was coming to live with us. Which is a lie. She's ignoring all of us. Social services are now involved. Because of safe guard worries. I am very worried about our grandsons who live 60 miles away. I want visiting rights
LawAndParents Editor 06/09/2017 at 2:22 pm
You grandson has a right to see his father, so the child's mother should not really prevent this. A good solicitor would not advise a client to cut off all contact with her ex's family unless domestic violence had taken place, in which case the police would also be involved. She is either lying or has been given bad legal advice. Your son should consider mediation to arrange contact times with his son. As grandparents you can apply for contact time but it's up to the courts whether to grant this.
Fedup 04/09/2017 at 9:38 pm
My son and girlfriend have split up and she has stopped my son from seeing his son. I have asked to be apart of my grandsons life but she has said her solicitor has told her to stop contact with all my sons family. I live 3 hours drive away from my grandson so I used to collect him and have him for a week at a time a couple of times a year. I haven't seen my grandson for 5 months now. What can I do
mcolqu 24/08/2017 at 3:04 am
Hi my exes grandmother is wanting access to my two sons. She's not saw then or bothered with them in 7 years. My boys r now 11 and 9 they don't know who she is or remember her! The trial is on Monday. She's only wanting access for her son who isn't allowed to see my boys. (Judge ordered this in 2010) I'm totally against it as she didn't even bother with them when she saw them.and when her son told me he didn't want contact she didn't ask to see them!
LawAndParents Editor 23/08/2017 at 12:24 pm
Please follow the steps advised in the above article, we can't really add anything to that comprehensive information we're sorry.
Jue 21/08/2017 at 3:12 pm
Hi my sons ex girlfriend has stopped us from seeing our grandaughter, she's 8 and we've always had her from being a baby, it's been about 5 months now , we've been blocked from all contact but when I tried to organise something she said my grandaughter didn't want to come anymore, which I find it hard to believe my little girl of 10 and her where like sisters, what can I do ,I can't afford big court costs
Lou-Lou 12/07/2017 at 6:48 pm
My ex and I have come to an agreement that in the best interest of our children, we no longer want our children to have contact with their narcissistic grandmother. This woman has abused her own son mentally and is clearly unstable but now taking us to court under "grandparental rights" what do we do?
LawAndParents Editor 07/07/2017 at 2:35 pm
Don't simply refuse as this would be breach of the court order. You can make an application to vary the terms of the order via the courts.
Steph 06/07/2017 at 8:21 pm
Hi
My daughter had contact arrangement with her Nan once a mo th and she now doesn't want see her because of the stress and upset she caused over an adoption by my husband trying to be put through if I stop contact can I go to prison for not letting my daughter go she. She doesn't want to.
Lyn 01/06/2017 at 10:27 pm
Can anything be done,we have spent £10,000 on court fees to try and get some access to our grandson,his mother has turned him against us and he is now saying he doesn't want to see us. We can't beleive this as until our son and his wife divorced we had a very good close relationship with him
hhy6 31/05/2017 at 7:18 pm
Hi. My ex husband has access rights and I have a residential order. He works around the globe and lives on the other end of the country. I'd like my parents and adult daughter to have residency of my children if anything happened to me and I was unable to care for them myself. This is to ensure co tunuiyy of care and minimalise any disruption as they could keep them In Their home where they have always lived. How can I do this if my ex partner disagrees. He currently has 2 days access every two weeks and 4 weeks holidays.
GGB123 30/05/2017 at 8:24 pm
My daughters ex partner with whom she has 2 young children has a recent history of alcohol and drug abuse but is going to a solicitor to gain more rights of access to the children. My daughter has never refused access to the children but is becoming increasingly concerned as he appears to be becoming more emotionally unstable. What can she do?
LawAndParents Editor 30/05/2017 at 11:22 am
It might be worth having a discussion with the grandparent about this and trying to arrange something more relaxed without having to go back to court. Just letting your daughter decide, might not be the right approach, but nor would forcing her to go every fortnight. Try and come to a compromise, maybe arrange for something different that your daughter could do with her nan etc? That would make it less boring for your daughter and make the grandparent feel more involved.
mellym1 27/05/2017 at 12:02 pm
i got taken to court about 7-8 years ago for access to my child by the grandparent, who got a once a month over night stay and every other saturday day visit. it also said about agreeing to different times days etc if cant make it or if more contact.

which i did because of my old job years ago she stayed every other saturday til i started a different job 2 years ago but i still allowed the every other weekend stay if my child wanted to do so..

anyway my child is 10 this year and im now due my 2nd child any moment now (she is not the grandparent of this child)
my 10 year old has decided the last month that she dont want to go to the nans as she wants to spend the last few weeks with me being an only child before baby arrives and she also says that her nan is boring and shes not allowed to do anything except see the same things every time she goes or she has to spend time with her nans friends etc.

her nan has been ok with this or she said she was anyway. til today when i recieved another letter for court access!!
i havent stopped her going, she decides herself to call her nan to say she dont or does want to go. her nan will try and bribe her which sometimes has worked but once the phone call ends she says she dont want to go still but feels like she has to or her nan will tell her off! (her words)

anyway what do i do now? shes old enough to know what she wants to do and its always her choice! do i need to comply with the letter? im due my baby in 2 days and i dont have the money for court!
LawAndParents Editor 09/05/2017 at 11:32 am
What did the court recommend? Has social services been involved?
Dori 07/05/2017 at 4:39 pm
Is a grandparent that's see's the kids that are in care. Gets an asbo and aswe'll as 2 charges of assault and criminal damage against them are they still aloud them to stay at weekend??
riedah 27/03/2017 at 10:59 am
pls iam the caregiver of my grand son now 2 his mother. is on drug not staying with us but she did not registered his birth yet she dont want too pls help what can I do too get it hubby got new job but must take bus for 22 hour. as we can fly 2 hour. pls help
Minnie01 16/03/2017 at 11:29 am
Hi,
I'm with the father of my child he has agreed that I can have residency so if we split up she will stay with me how do I go about it? Also I've had to stop his mother from seeing her as she's quite a horrible person an hasn't seen her since the day she was born? What are my rights
LawAndParents Editor 13/03/2017 at 11:39 am
It's very difficult for a grandparent to get access rights via the courts, but these things are up to individual judges.
Missy 10/03/2017 at 12:14 pm
Myself and my partner have not had contact with his mother for years as she attacked me. I have now had a baby boy and she is now taken us to court for access will the courts give her access if both parents refuse it.
EM2017 16/01/2017 at 5:10 pm
My sons father has passed away, his paternal grandparents only ever look to have my son every 4-6 weeks, and every time he comes back he tells me they scold him all the time & he is always very agitated. It can take me a few days to a week to get him back to his normal self.. The grandparents never text or ring to speak to him. Would they have any rights to see him if I stopped him from going to them as it's always on their terms when they decide to have him
Nikki 31/12/2016 at 10:42 pm
Hi! So basically my partners mother has been threatening to take us to court to get rights to see our two children. They are 8 and 4yrs old. She hasnt seen the eldest since he was 4months old and never met the other. Shes had absolutely nothing to do with them in all this time. Shes a nasty spiteful woman who thinks she can can call the shots and have her way. Will the courts take her seriously? My partner hasnt had a relationship with her in over 8yrs either and doesn't want her near them at all.
XXSARXX 07/12/2016 at 12:33 pm
My daughters paternal grandparents used to have regular contact with my daughter but they went away in july for 3 weeks and havent contacted me since to set up seing my daughter. In September i had alot of horrible messages off her father and he claimed that next time his mum and dad see her they were going to take her away from me. Now 4months later they are houndiny my family members that i get intouch with them about them sein my little girl despite them knowin my number and that they also have facebook and know where i live they have not approached me! They have said if i dont contact them they will take me to court over them seing her! She isnt allowed to see her dad through social services recommendation and also she doesnt want to know her dad. I just dont know what to do? I do not trust them with her as when she was on supervised contact with her dad them surpervising they let him take her to the shop and park on his own!!!! How would court handle this?
LawAndParents Editor 08/11/2016 at 11:20 am
Have you spoken to social services about this? They might be able to help with communication between you and the mother. Court might be the only other solution if you feel the mother would not be able to cope / or it's in your granddaugter's best interests to stay with you.
Nannyp 06/11/2016 at 2:54 pm
Hi I will try to make this as short as possible.. myself and my husband were granted residency of our then 1 yr old grand daughter with a residency order stating contact for mum 1 day per week with a gradual increase to be arranged by us to eventually going into full care with mum... over the years mother has had very messed about contact less than 1 day a week on average. She has 2 further children which she is managing with aslong as she stays in the support umbrella. Our g/daughter has been with us nearly 7 years now and her mother is now saying she wants her full time! Yet 6 weeks ago said she wanted to break all contact with her, my head is in turmoil as last time we went to court it cost 12k and we really don't have any savings now. I fell out with her over wanting to break contact and now this is what she does threaten to take our g.daughter away. She has had no input on her upbringing what so ever or schooling PLEASE CAN SOMEONE ADVISE
LawAndParents Editor 27/10/2016 at 11:18 am
Your son may need to consult a solicitor with a view to formalise contact arrangements so that a breach of the agreement can be enforced if necessary.
LawAndParents Editor 26/10/2016 at 12:56 pm
As a grandmother, there's not a great deal you can do legally. To try and resolve this, stay in touch with all other relatives and friends who have contact with your daughter and maybe they can help bring about a reconciliation between you both.
Rach 25/10/2016 at 3:12 pm
My son and his girlfriend have a daughter and my son is moving back home but his ex is making arrangements for us see Isabelle who's 3 and coz im the only texting the mother because my son cant go any were near her ,she makes plans for us have the child but then she not replying my texts so we haven't seen isabelle my son should have equal share of isabelle but the mother wont let us see her ,
Missc 25/10/2016 at 10:03 am
My daughter has stopped me from seeing her child (my granddaughter)
I have bonded with the baby now 8 months.helpedmy daughter financially with the baby ,they stayed at my house for a month as my daughter had 3 separate reports to social services for neglect! I have played a massive role in the baby's life! We fell out a month ago as her main focus was not on the baby but Facebook she was not attending to the baby's needs so I told my daughter! She left my house and I've not see her since but I did have seen the baby as my other daughter sorted this but 15 days on my I'm now being denied access to the baby I'm devastated as we had such a strong bond .i really don't know what too do
LawAndParents Editor 17/10/2016 at 12:50 pm
She can't do anything about this as a grandparent unless she is currently a registered legal guardian etc.
Mrfox90 16/10/2016 at 1:33 pm
Myself and my partner are looking to move away and start a new life outside of the uk.

My mother in law is making this decision very difficult as she is claiming her grandparental rights means we cant move unless she says so and if we do that she can put in to social services and apply for a forced addoption.
Now I know alot of what she is saying is a load of rubbish but does anyone have any advise on what she can and can't do about this matter?
dee29 06/10/2016 at 12:27 pm
Hi my son and his girlfriend have had a baby my son's girlfriend had other kids what have been took off her due to domestic violence (not my son) so the ss took my granddaughter away she went in to foster parent from birth we had to go to court and try and get her home my son and his girlfriend had to sigh all rights over to me as I was trying to get her to life with me but unfortunately the judge Placed her for adoption 5 month ago we have tryed everything to try and stop this the whole thing was corrupt the sw never done a viability assessment on me and the guardian never done any work with me either so I should of had a fair appeal but no 1 would help me do it they went on my past history what I have no ss involved I have put all my wrong doing right and I have my 3 children at home with my youngest being only 18 month old but yet I was not allowed my granddaughter at home with me the sw lied about everything and no 1 done ther job right but yet the judge took ther side my son and his girlfriend have put papers into court to provoke the adoption it's killing me and braking my heart that I can not see her what can I do please help all I do is cry I cannot get it out my mind of what I can do ther must be something are someone who can advise are help me thank you
LawAndParents Editor 05/10/2016 at 2:40 pm
Firstly, he should be paying child maintenance regardless of whether he sees his daughter or not. Secondly, if you feel your daughter is at risk if she spends time alone with her father, the courts will order an investigation into this when he applies for contact. The court will make a decision based on the findings of the report and what they consider to be in the best interests of your daughter.
Sherry 04/10/2016 at 2:22 pm
Hi, the father of my first born daughter has been pretty absent her whole life, even when we were in a relationship. He's claiming he doesn't have to pay any maintenance as we were together for the first 15 months of her life - he literally didn't pay for a thing - and is still claiming he doesn't need to pay anything as he "barely sees her" etc. I've given him plenty of chances to see her and he's "forgotten" or ended up coming in the evening and moaning about her being asleep. He's ordering me to give our daughter to him over night all weekend, or he'll take me to court etc. He cannot handle her overnight, let alone for even five minutes holding her. He has a past of drug and alcohol abuse, doesn't drive carefully and drives under the influence of alcohol and weed, he was the reason for a car accident last month, yet expects me to just happily hand my daughter over. I just don't know what to do, what rights does he have?
LawAndParents Editor 21/09/2016 at 2:11 pm
You son's daugher has a right to contact with her father. Hopefully your son and his partner will be able to agree contact arrangements amicably. As a grandparent you do not have any specific contact rights.
bren 20/09/2016 at 2:48 am
Hi I need help. My son and his partner had a baby 6 weeks ago but have just separated, although they never lived together my son had regular contact with his daughter. My son and his partner still live with their parents. How does he go about ensuring he keeps that contact. ?
Also over the past six weeks I myself (paternal grandmother ) has not seen my grandaughter much since she was born down to the mother and maturnal nana not allowing this. What rights do I have if any
Purple rain 13/09/2016 at 2:37 pm
Hi I have 3 children to a previous and have another child to my current partner and since before I got pregnant with his child his family think they can tell us how to live our lives and what we should be doing how to parent etc and through many discussions we have tried to sort things like adults but they keep throwing it in our faces not accepting their behaviour as wrong and we have now been left with no option but to cut them off it started with his mother and now she's turned the whole family against us through not getting her own way! She emotionally unstable and a heavy drinker and now my partners father has threatend us with court? We really have tried to fix this but they just won't listen we have no choice but to cut them off now as causing so much stress which isn't fair on anyone. What are the chances of contact? Barring in mind 3 of the children are not blood related! Thanks for reading.
Mandy 19/07/2016 at 3:38 pm
My daughter's ex (they were never married) has contacted his son's doctors saying he wants access to his medical records. My daughter would never had denied him this and had he asked she would have agreed. The dad refuses to speak to my daughter about anything and just goes behind her back about everything. The doctors have written to her asking permission for him to have access. She is happy to do this but the dad says that they had no right to contact her and tell them what he had requested. Is this true?
Amyrose24 17/03/2016 at 9:59 pm
Hello, this is something similar but do aunties have some form of right to see there nieces due to my sister keep trying to stop me seeing my nieces because I'm pregnant with my new partner who she doesn't like. I have been there since birth for both them children watched them be born and now she uses them as weapons against me, they both love me very freely. Just hope I can have some form of legal rights to see them
arrrr 13/03/2016 at 11:56 pm
I have a 7 month old girl and recently her father walked out. he had cheated in the relationship taken drugs and had a drink problem. I am not happy for my daughter to stay over night with him because of his drink problem and the drugs. his mum also drinks alot to. when we split he was verbally abusive and I was to rot in the burning pits of hell for all he cared. he sees our daughter on a tuesday and thursday from 2-4 and a friday 2-5 in a mutral place where he has to sign in and oit as proof of me letting him see her. he is now trying to go to court and claming it has to be on his terms. am I doing the right thing in doing what I am doing? is stopping him having her over night because I am worried he will be drinking or taking drugs wrong? I dont know what to do and the verbal and emotional abuse is continuing.
Xxx 03/02/2016 at 4:58 pm
Hi I am becoming a grandmother, Both partners at still together but I feel as are not right to have a child. They partners are 16 and 17 years old and now have moved to Scotland and am in Northern Ireland. My son has mental health problems and so does the mother. I feel as is the rights of the child will not be meet. What rights do I have to get custody of the child?
busylizzy 09/01/2016 at 6:01 pm
Hello My daughter in law has refused my son to see his two children, however, she has told me that I can see them. My son and myself had them at my flat on Sundays for the day while she worked suddenly she has stopped it. I want to see my grandchildren I am not sure what I should do.
LawAndParents Editor 04/01/2016 at 11:13 am
We really can't say for sure as we don't know the full details of your circumstances. Even if you apply for a residence order or adoption, you may still have to go through stringent vetting processes before it is granted.
nanny 03/01/2016 at 9:11 am
Hi could you help we are currently raising 2 of our grandaughters due to mom being an addict one is on a residency the other is an sgo ,we have just confirmed that mom is pregnant again her partner is an illegal immigrant who we assume has deliberately got our daughter in this situation so as to remain in this country my daughter says this is not true and that he will help look after the baby , he cannot work or claim benefits and even though he lives with my daughter she tell anyone in authority that he doesn't , my question is this if ss says we are too have this baby will we have to go through the fostering again or can we ask for a residence order as the fostering route was very stressful .
Joshking 29/12/2015 at 6:14 pm
Is my sons grandmother leagaly obligated to aswer my phone if i am trying to contact my son? ...Is she allowed to block my number when she has my son?
LawAndParents Editor 10/12/2015 at 10:23 am
If they are in breach of the court order then you should really go back and to the courts...give them a call and find out how much it will cost, they may be able to direct you to some form of assistance. Walking away from a child is not really the responsible thing to do especially if you believe the child might be at risk of harm...you should try to persuade your partner of this. He is the only one (as the natural father) who can actively ensure he partakes in his daughter's life.
tahmina13 09/12/2015 at 5:51 am
Hello, the mother of my step daughter died back in March 2013, M (step daughter) was nearly 3. M's grandparents took her in, when my partner (S) phoned up the grandparents said if you want information about M you need to go to court, so we did, we were fighting over where she should live in. In June 2015 the courts ordered that both parties has a shared ownership over her but shes at school so term time she lives with them as she has been living there all this time and the holidays are ours. Since then the grand parents have broken the order and making it hard for us to have her in our time. We have fear that they are not looking after her well enough. We can't really go back to court and it costed us too much money and we have 2 little ones of our own. We have tried getting 3rd parties in but it's not working. S said if nothing is happening soon he is going to give up in her and walking away and the gparents are brainwashing M into not wanting to see us. I'm worried S is going to do something bad and get arrested for it or when the gparent die she will go into care and he won't do anything about it. I have tried talking it over with him lots of times but he's not listening. What should I do?
Elly 25/11/2015 at 9:40 pm
Hi, I have an 8 month old son, his father (not on the birth certificate) has not really bothered with him, only when pressured to by his family, he went 5 months without seeing him he text me once in that time if he could see him the following morning but I already had plans so told him I was busy, he didn't message after that. His mum and sister would come and see my son and I decided I didn't need to keep seeing them with my son as his dad wasn't bothering and his sister has done nothing but say horrible things about me and cause trouble from the day I got pregnant I have kept all messages and posts on FB she put about me, same with the father of my son I have every message from him and what I have said also, I have kept a diary about an contact he has had with my son since birth. When I decided I wasn't going to see the aunt but didn't say this, I got a lot grief saying that I should be putting my sons best interests first, which I am, why should I see them with my son when the dad doesn't bother, so after the messages the dad then starts messaging me demanding to see his son and his family to see him, I've never said no he can't see him at all, I don't trust him to have my son alone as he drives around illegally all the time, I feel if he was to have my son he would just leave him with mum and sister or take him out in the car to see his girlfriend who he chose over his son as she didn't want him to see my son, I'm assuming this is why the 2months of no contact them 2 visits so his family could see him again then 5 months not seeing him then visiting him twice so His family can see my son again.
The sister has now taken to asking my friends about my life if I'm still breastfeeding etc, I'm assuming so she can try see him without me around and argue for her brother to see him alone, I feel the father has not made any effort to see him. Only his family pushing him, the sister tried to organise contact with me for her brother, I told her that it's not to do with her its up to her brother to sort out seeing his son, she said she would supervise the contact, I said the father needs to build a bond himself first with his son not having someone to hold his hand.
I'm so angry they are questioning my friends about my life and my son.
What can I do? Please help me, they caused me so much stress during my pregnancy I had an awful pregnancy and started to go in to early labour at one point. I'm at breaking point now, they don't deserve my beautiful son. The dad clearly isn't interested in seeing him.
LawAndParents Editor 24/11/2015 at 11:29 am
if you think your child has been harmed in anyway you should report it to the police. It is unlikely a non-relative would be given access against your wishes even if the "nanny" tried to take you to court.
Annoyed 23/11/2015 at 4:03 am
I have a two year old child but her dads not involved in her life. She was seeing her dad and new wife once a week since she was born but this has recently broke down. I have not stopped contact but they have said to me they will go down a different route to seeing her. My daughter has come home with marks on her and has said that her 'nanny' has hit her in her face. Even though her nanny is not related through marriage what right does she have to take me to court for access. She has also been putting post about me online. The reason it broke down was because I asked them not to do something an my daughters been coming home talking about it. Thanks
LawAndParents Editor 17/11/2015 at 10:09 am
If your granddaughter's mother wants to see more of her child she can take steps to arrange this via an agreement drawn up in mediation (mediation services can be found here) or via a court order.
Booty 14/11/2015 at 4:46 pm
I am having problems getting to see my grandaughter as she lives with her father and he only let's her mum see her when he feels like it and when she ask about me seeing her all she gets is no he doesn't really want her it's only doing it for the money
hammy 07/11/2015 at 9:59 am
Thank you for your answer to my previous question. Unfortunately the meeting with her lawyer and what he offered contact wise was unacceptable so it's back to court. Just one more question though. I wish to add a transcription of a text message to my case. Is it just a matter of getting the transcription ratified by an notary and added to the case with a copy going to her lawyer? Thank you in advance.
LawAndParents Editor 04/11/2015 at 12:03 pm
Yes you can ask that the solicitors make the agreement a legally binding document.
hammy 03/11/2015 at 7:48 am
As grandparents of an 11yo boy we were taking the mother to court as she refused to allow any contact with him due to a maintenance dispute with my son. Her lawyer has now contacted us days before the hearing stating that the mother has now agreed for us to have contact. I have signed a paper given to us by her lawyer to basically set aside the court hearing. We are now going to sit round the lawyers table to come to a contact agreement. If papers are signed can I insist on this agreement be ratified by the court in case the mother reneges on the agreement in time. I have been self representing in this situation.
Nana 24/10/2015 at 9:49 pm
Hi. I have grandsons who are subject to Child in need, their father was arrested for a sexual offence, and some allegations were made regarding inappropriate sexualised behaviour towards his children. These charges have now been NFA by the police due to insufficient evidence, however the child protection assessment identified problems of inappropriate behaviour by the father, the CIN group have assessed there are still problems and that the father should only have supervised contact with the grandfather present, who has also been assessed (in assessment indicated he colludes with father) prior to this allegation one of the grandchildren had been staying with the father and grandfather, they changed his school without the consent of the mother (My daughter), I really believe that the Grandfather and Father are manipulating my grandson and have brainwashed him into saying he wants to continue living with them, The social services say that they have spoken to my grandson and he wants to remain living with his grandfather. They seem to support this however my daughter has PR and does not want her son to continue living with them she herself was a victim of violent DV and rape by her sons father. I want to take him in and look after him and not return him to the grandfathers this will mean changing schools etc.. What's our position my daughter agrees with me. Grandson is 13
mum 09/10/2015 at 4:50 pm
I have a residence order against me since my boy was 5months old he is 5 now I have been seeing him through this time he lives with his paternal grandparents who make it very hard for me to see him as they keep reducing my contact I see him once for 2hrs every 3weeks everytime I ask to increase they say "take us to court" and decrease my contact a few weeks after my son at the end of our session which they sit in as well tells me & them he don't want to go, he wants to stay longer which then he is told he's not allowed. They moan at me that the grandad has work & has to take time off to get there (which is 10mins away from them) & over 15miles for me I would like my contact to increase and see him on my own how can I go about doing this? Please Help!
LawAndParents Editor 09/10/2015 at 2:15 pm
Can you find another adult who will support you in this? Do you have a social worker or teacher who you can talk to?
LawAndParents Editor 07/09/2015 at 12:22 pm
You should apply to the deed poll office to see if this can be done without a court order. Once your grandson is 18 he can of course change his name by deedpoll without permission from a guardian.
nipper 06/09/2015 at 3:26 pm
I have a resident order on my grandson since he was 9 months old he is 14 years old now. He wants to get his mothers surname taken off his birth certificate and passport. He ha seen her 3 times in 14 years. He has my sons surname as well but never uses the double barrel name anywhere else and he wants to be know only as my son's name. Can you help please
LawAndParents Editor 19/08/2015 at 10:19 am
Unfortunately, there is not a great deal you can do in this case without legal/court intervention, so your son has done the right thing in seeking professional legal advice.
silversurfer52 01/08/2015 at 7:46 pm
My daughter in law was given a letter from my son's solicitor saying that she couldn't leave the country without informing him. She has ignored the letter and has gone abroad. She says that she has taken legal steps to make sure it was ok for her to go. What steps could she have taken to allow this without notifying my son.
LawAndParents Editor 31/07/2015 at 2:16 pm
@mac80. The courts would have to inform the party with residence before the hearing could go ahead. She may simply be bluffing.
mac80 30/07/2015 at 1:27 am
My parents have a residence order on my nephew,the mother hasn't had any contact with her son in 2 years,recently she had another child and has custody of that child. We bumped into her recently and she told us she has a court date to get custody of my nephew and the social services and judge are on her side,we have no knowledge of this court date and know nothing about any meetings that may,or may not,have taken place.There have been numerous threats of violence towards both my parents and my nephew from his mother and her family and we fear for his safety everyday. My question is can the social service's and courts award her custody without informing my parents and if so can they appeal or stop any proceedings as my nephew is settled at home,in school and in general well being. Sadly,and we have told him about his mum,she has had no desire to have contact with him,nor has there been any contact between her and my parents as she didn't want to know her son. We pray that this is just her way of trying to hurt him and my parents but we also fear that it could be true and that fear,after many problems I won't go into,is greater.
LawAndParents Editor 27/07/2015 at 10:19 am
@:Will. You can apply for full or shared residency. Did you have a contact order from the courts when you first separated? If you've not already been to court you should try mediation first. Most divorcing and separating couples who want to use the court process to resolve any questions about children or money have to show that they have attended a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before they can apply for a court order. A mediator will help draw up a legally binding agreement between the two of you. You can find information about local mediation services from a Citizen's Advice Bureau. If mediation does not work, then you may have to resort to court action; the form you need is court form C100.
will 23/07/2015 at 12:36 am
I have a daughter who is 11 years old and lives with her grandparents and has since she was about two,as this was her mother's choice as we were both in the army and had split as she cheated.
As her mother is still in the army married with another child who lives with them full time I would like some advice about contact or going for full custody as I have left the army now for three years and in a stable relationship and settled and in a better position to bring her up and also her mother is preventing contact
LawAndParents Editor 16/06/2015 at 10:21 am
@bp94. It's a bit extreme but if you really do not want any contact or want restricted access then you may have to apply for a court order.
bp94 10/06/2015 at 11:19 pm
I am currently still with my partner of 5 years we have a 2 year old son and my mother in law is manipulative and forces herself into our life much more than we want or need, I'm in a position where I no longer want her to be a part of my life both me and my partner are agreed on this, we have been to mediation but I feel like I have to plan my life around what suits her, if I close mediation talks and say no more what can she do?
I appreciate this is about grandparents rights but I'm stuck as there is no advice on my situation
Thank you
Lorraine 21/04/2015 at 7:50 pm
My son has split with his partner and she is sleeping with someone else a few weeks after he left..i sent her a tex about it was way to soon to have another man in her bed with my grandchildren there..now she said i cant see my grandchildren and to go get a solicitor..i work part time and am in no position to afford a solicitor..im desperately missing them what can i do..she has always used my grandkids as a weapon when my son and her would argue..what can i do is there any help out there for nannys like me who cant get legal aid but on a low income please ?
LawAndParents Editor 17/04/2015 at 1:50 pm
@doll. You need to get the consent of any others who have parental responsibility for your grandson before proceeding.
doll 17/04/2015 at 2:37 am
I have residence order of my grandson I want to move abroad as my partner has work there that he can't get here what do I do
LawAndParents Editor 30/01/2015 at 11:57 am
@Wilma. We do hope you manage to maintain your relationship with your grandchildren somehow. Follow the steps recommended in this article and above all try and cultivate a great relationship with the children's mother (even though it may be the last thing you want to do). Good luck.
Wilma 28/01/2015 at 5:22 pm
My son has split with his girlfriend of 6 years they have 2 children aged 5 and 1. The 5 year old is very close to me and they have all lived with me for twelve months. The mother has walked out because she was cheating taking the children. The 5 year old keeps crying when she leaves here and it's affecting her badly. Now she says she must have less contact with me
LawAndParents Editor 28/07/2014 at 10:38 am
@stumpy - it's a difficult situation. While you could try legal action to gain visiting rights, it's a last resort and not one that you should enter into lightly. For the time being, try and maintain a good relationship with your daughter and the social work team. If you're there calmly asking questions, offering support etc, then everyone should come to realise that your involvement will be in the best interests of the child.
stumpy 25/07/2014 at 3:21 pm
my daughter had her little girl on the 10 of june 2014.we had a good relationship all the time she was pregnant and before,she told us that we were to become grandparents which we were over the moon about.due to my daughters past she had gone to a mother and baby unit when she came out of hospital,she was doing great and we had contact with her and the baby.she had a disagreement with the staff there and was asked to leave,the baby had to be placed in temp foster care,to which my daughter has now said we cant see our grand daughter at all.were do we stand on this she shares the reponsabilty with local social services but as they have told us as she is mum there is nothing they can do.please help as we done everything for her got all the stuff she needed for the baby then cut off just like that.
legalLily 02/06/2014 at 1:54 pm
Hi Concerned Nanny. You don't have to pay to apply for special guardianship but you may need a legal representative to help you with the process (for which you would have to pay). Recent changes suggest that you may not be able to go down the legal aid route either. Why not request the forms from your local authority and speak again with the social services to try and get their backing. A useful place for information as well as this site is the Grandparents' Association. Hope you have some success :)
concerned nanny 01/06/2014 at 11:14 pm
how much does it cost to apply for guardianship of a grandchild who has been placed in your care by social services as a result of a child endangerment situation that has now been changed to a child in need situation because my grandchild and the parents are using my front room as a bedsit? but the mother is still incapable or disinclined to put her 10 month old child(my grandchild)first and ensure that babys needs and nurturing take precedence over her own whilst my son is working full time to provide for his family, but is completely loyal to his partner despite the concerns that myself and the social services have about the mothers capabilities to achieve appropriate care and stimulation for their child. I am single and work full time and social services told me they won,t pay family to look after babies but will look at having them fostered! I would stop my world to ensure my grandchilds care and development but have bills to pay to keep my home can anyone give me some idea how much it will cost !
pam 15/12/2013 at 2:03 pm
iam a grandparent to a four mounth old baby my daughter moved out living with his mum and boyfriend she recently told me that his mother had pushed him with the baby in his arms,they are always argueing more to the point iam scared of my grandaughter ending up catching something. i went last thursday there was sanitaries on kitchen floor catfoot tin opened on floor several tin lids on worktops you couldnt empty the sink it was full of pasta. work surfaces you couldnt move and the tops bares thinking about two baby bottles with empty milk left there. shes staying in a box room no where to put a cot all she says if i came home he wouldnt see her has much.ive provided for them both whilst he will go out and buy new clothes this doesnt bother me they are old enough to look after themselves but what about my grandaughter wher is her rights when she starts to crawl
Broken hearted 08/02/2013 at 10:44 am
My daughter broke contact with me over 10 years ago I don't know if she is dead or alive or if I have grand children. The pain of not knowing is sometimes unbearable. I had a very nasty husband when I devoiced he brain washed her into thinking it was my entire fault. When I took my parenting class it said not to talk to your children about the devoice and because she was18 I couldn't even go to my ex house to talk to her. I really can’t afford to pay someone to find her. What is a mother to do?
Summertimebaby 17/01/2013 at 6:33 pm
I'm fighting social workers for custody of my 4 months old grandson? They aren't supporting me but I do have independent social work who gave me good report? The children's guardian has spoke to my partner who doesn't live with me and he's declaired he has criminal record for self defence over 20 years ago? Will this now effect my chances getting my grandson
Baybay 16/08/2012 at 9:33 pm
My friend is dying of cancer, she wants her mum to have custody of her children but the father will fight for them where does she stand
sparky 12/08/2012 at 6:10 pm
My partner is the carer for her niece (residency order), the mother of her niece is so unreliable and keeps breaking her promise, we have decided to go for full custody, what i need to know is how we go about it.
Anonymous1 11/06/2012 at 4:03 am
My son's paternal grandparents have an order put in place so when their son is out of the country, they have my son every other weekend for over night. However, they make no effort to call their grand son who is 3, 4 in a few months. They expect me to chase them, so they keep in contact.

Their son isn't in the country and if they don't agree on what their son says, or they say something that will offend their son. then he gets really nasty with them.

I did have a close relationship with them. and still want them to have regular contact with their grand child. But if they don't make effort to even call after not seeing my son for a month, how else am i suppose to agree with them having my son over night???

They are as confusing as my ex is with his contact....

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