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Applying for Child Custody

By: Angela Armes - Updated: 3 Nov 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Child Custody Applying For Custody

Sadly, not every marriage can maintain a 'happy ever after', leading many couples to divorce. In the midst of a marital split, there may be children involved and each parent may have their own ideas as to how their offsprings should be looked after and who should look after them.

Sometimes feelings are so strong as to who should have the children that one or both parents may instigate custody proceedings in order to have the law rule on which parent is the most suitable carer.

What is Child Custody?

Child custody is a ruling by a magistrate – or Family Panel – who determines which parent should have the children living with them. This decision is based on a number of factors and also takes into consideration the feelings of the children involved, if they are old enough to understand what is going on around them.

Child custody also rules on how often and under what circumstances the parent who has been refused custody should see his or her children.

Applying for Custody

Before you can apply for custody you must ensure that all avenues of amicable agreement have been exhausted. It is important to remember that a custody battle can be a long drawn out series of hearings and, throughout this, your children will be fully aware of what is happening. They will have to speak to the court welfare officer during this time, too.

You must first consult a solicitor who specialises in family law, and they will instruct you on the best course of action. If there are no mitigating circumstances in the custody request, such as domestic violence, you should reasonably expect the process to take some time.

Appearing before the Family Panel

When you are given the date for your custody hearing, you will be required to appear before the Family Panel – which consists of three magistrates – and explain your reasons for wanting custody of your child/children. Your partner will also have to do this and the Family Panel will put a series of questions to you in relation to how you think you can cope with the children on your own, why you think you are the parent to whom the court should grant custody, and also if you are able to support the children financially?

The Court Welfare Officer

The Court Welfare Officer is given the task of assessing your status at home and also how you interact and look after your children. They will make their report and submit their recommendations to the Family Panel, and may on the day of the custody hearing be asked to present their findings to all those present.

The Court Welfare Officer may also have to speak with your children to try to find out Who They Would Like To Live With and the reasons why. All of this information is documented and presented to the Family Panel for review.

The Family Panel’s Ruling

You should be mindful of the fact that the Family Proceedings Court is a court of law and the magistrates operating therein are doing so in accordance with the law. With this in mind the Family Panel’s decision is legal and binding and – unless you appeal it – you are required by law to adhere to the terms and conditions of the custody agreement.

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I have spent a lot of money on trying get some access to my 3 kids but my ex wife caused me of domestic voilence and stoped me from seeing my kids. I was told by the court I have to do a course which cost me nearly £2000 which I have completed but now I don't have any money left to pay a solicitor. Does any one know how I can prepare and present myself in court to gain any form of access to my kids. I am not a violent person I love my kids and miss them so much
GP - 3-Nov-18 @ 12:26 PM
Can you help me my ex partner is trying to take my daughter away from me when she's been born thanks hope to hear from you soon
Kyl - 30-Oct-18 @ 5:20 PM
Hi I will to know I lose my 3 kids costudy because I was in a domestic abuse with my ex boyfriend and I was affected with that and I was negelt my kids when I was depression it was 2014 my ex husband have full costudy of them by the court and now he is abuse my kids we gt the police involved and social services . In but I have my baby was born and I do a parenting assessment after my ex boyfriend go to jail for abuse me and I pass and it been 2 year I don't have any prb I done all my work with social services all was positive I don't have anymore social services in my life now but is it any way I can have costudy for my other 3 kids who live with my ex husband pls I need a answer as I am actually going to court when I have all prove to prove to my solicitor thx
Santiago - 24-Oct-18 @ 3:32 PM
Hi really need some help here. I made a massive mistake and drank while my 2 kids were at school, only due to pick the boy up. I've been very stressed and I didn't think I was drunk. I picked the child up and we had an altercation, he refused to get onto the car with me, we had a massive argument and he ended up leaving with a family member to walk to there house. I was livid, and hysterical at the same time, and tryed to run after him. I ended up having a car crash, as I was so emotional. I ended up in custody for the night, and while my phone battery had died, I couldn't reach the father of the other child, who was due home that night. The school rang social services, I presume,and the next day when home, the father of the boy told me the boy didn't want to speak to me. He was hysterical and angry. The father of the girl completely blocked my number all together,and haven't contacted me at all. I haven't seen either child since, or spoke to them. Boy blocked me too.I've been told both are going for custody. I've previously had past problems with alcohol, but after this I be we want to touch a drink again. Please tell me how I can win the custody battle,proving that I have indeed sorted myself out? They both live with me, but see there dad's on a regular basis.I've never stopped them seeing there dad's. How can I fix this problem?? I'm so desperate. It was a very very stupid mistake ,and I'm paying the ultimate punishment. Also, how do I go about putting my case across? How long does the whole process take?? And what are my chances? As I will defiantly never do anything that stupid again. Please help me
Jonesy123 - 12-Oct-18 @ 9:04 PM
How would I go about getting full custody of my two boys from my ex husband as he is never round for them. He also does not pay nothing for the kids.
Shan - 4-Sep-18 @ 9:49 PM
Hi, this is just a brief break down,I have meet this man through work 1998 then I left for another job a year later, we lost all contacts but got re-contacted by an ex manager early February 2010 we kept in touch then got involved with him October 2010, got engage December 2011, we had child 2013 now 5, but he’s got 4 other children by his late wife, I had one from a previous relationship. During that time I start getting to know him and some of stuff I can not repeat, I have suffered constant verbal abuse and physical abuse, I almost took my own life but that night I cry and I pray for strength, soul searching andpeace and hug my children, I have to protect my children and be hear for them. I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone, go anywhere without him being there getting dropped off at work, he’d even stork me at work, I removed myself from all social media because he said nobody likes me, he told me I was ill and that I needed help, I don’t need to go church or give to charity, he would check my phone, email very much in control my account which he’d check. I couldn’t even speak to my own family with whom I loved dearly I’d literally cut them off. My closes friends and families and even his own children try’s to warn me but I was so blindsided by a con, a narcissist, a control freak and all messed up man. Break up and get back because of the children but it got worse, I wanted out I took my children and lefted. I had counciling my doctor, my preast and mindfulness program my life was a logo puzzle putting it back together. He had access to see his child but the disappointed promises and upsetting my child then I have to explain for multiple times he’s not turning up it breaks my heart. He doesn’t contribute at all but goes on the most 5 star holidays, drive a jaguar, exspensive dinning, not got a job and always his high horse. Now that he’s no longer in control, I he’d took me to court to get full custody he told me I was going lose anyway he’s got more money than me and I am not capable of taking care of my children and that I couldn’t afford a lawyer. He actually under estimated me little does he know my prayers had been answered a week before the court a lady just happen walk into the store then started talking to me she give some tips on family court, then three days before the court another lady “angel” was sent to me started talking she gave a family lawyers number and she call right away, 48 hours of emailing documents and phone calls, he’d offer to me meet me court day. Faith and god is by my side there was an arrangement for him to see his child for a few hours then sleep over every other weekend, he told the court would pay £200 per month for child maintenance but it only lasted probably less three months, he did not follow through with the court order, it was pointless for me to keep on paying lawyer fees for him to come and see their own child. Now it’s well over a year since he’d bothered or to have any form of relationship with
Chan - 18-Aug-18 @ 3:38 PM
Hi, this is just a brief break down,I have meet this man through work 1998 then I left for another job a year later, we lost all contacts but got re-contacted by an ex manager early February 2010 we kept in touch then got involved with him October 2010, got engage December 2011, we had child 2013 now 5, but he’s got 4 other children by his late wife, I had one from a previous relationship. During that time I start getting to know him and some of stuff I can not repeat, I have suffered constant verbal abuse and physical abuse, I almost took my own life but that night I cry and I pray for strength, soul searching andpeace and hug my children, I have to protect my children and be hear for them. I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone, go anywhere without him being there getting dropped off at work, he’d even stork me at work, I removed myself from all social media because he said nobody likes me, he told me I was ill and that I needed help, I don’t need to go church or give to charity, he would check my phone, email very much in control my account which he’d check. I couldn’t even speak to my own family with whom I loved dearly I’d literally cut them off. My closes friends and families and even his own children try’s to warn me but I was so blindsided by a con, a narcissist, a control freak and all messed up man. Break up and get back because of the children but it got worse, I wanted out I took my children and lefted. I had counciling my doctor, my preast and mindfulness program my life was a logo puzzle putting it back together. He had access to see his child but the disappointed promises and upsetting my child then I have to explain for multiple times he’s not turning up it breaks my heart. He doesn’t contribute at all but goes on the most 5 star holidays, drive a jaguar, exspensive dinning, not got a job and always his high horse. Now that he’s no longer in control, I he’d took me to court to get full custody he told me I was going lose anyway he’s got more money than me and I am not capable of taking care of my children and that I couldn’t afford a lawyer. He actually under estimated me little does he know my prayers had been answered a week before the court a lady just happen walk into the store then started talking to me she give some tips on family court, then three days before the court another lady “angel” was sent to me started talking she gave a family lawyers number and she call right away, 48 hours of emailing documents and phone calls, he’d offer to me meet me court day. Faith and god is by my side there was an arrangement for him to see his child for a few hours then sleep over every other weekend, he told the court would pay £200 per month for child maintenance but it only lasted probably less three months, he did not follow through with the court order, it was pointless for me to keep on paying lawyer fees for him to come and see their own child. Now it’s well over a year since he’d bothered or to have any form of relationship with
Chan - 18-Aug-18 @ 3:37 PM
I currently have 3 children in foster care and i am 30 weeks pregnant. Im not going to deny or beat around the bush the reason for them being taken was neglect, poor home conditions etc due to a deterioration in my mental health which i didnt notice the severity of my depression until it was too late... since January i have dramatically turned my life around working with professionalsinstead of hiding away, maintaining routine home conditions,self empowerment , my unborn baby (unexpected) has been put on a child in need care plan following a case conference 23/07/18 and i am working with all involved.On 24/07/2018 it was a trial for the final hearing of my other three, instead of going against LA and having to give evidence in courtroom our barristers managed to come to an agreement, detailing expectations for all inc etc, I agreed to the condition of the kids staying where they were for now as i needed to show more consistency and coping with a newborn to social services plus the upcoming cesarean section and sterilisation recovery period on the understanding contact would be for 3 hours on a Saturday ( as opposed to 1 hour 3x per week)that it would be regularly reviewed and the possibility of the children returning home sometime in the near future wasn't out of the question. I know as difficult as it was i was thinking of the best interests of my babies at this time which the judge commended for so they were subject to a full care order. Current contact is for an hour and a half every monday which is killing me!!! Because apparently we need to build up to that 3 hours so its not too much ( the contact centre cannot facilitate this
Feelingnumb - 17-Aug-18 @ 6:23 AM
My daughter is 12, I ended an abusive relationship with her father when she was 3. I had to get an emergency injunction at the time because of how he was with me. Contact has never been great, I have never stopped it but he has never made much effort to keep any contact with her. In 2013 my daughter told him she no longer wanted to see him, I suggested that he write letters to her to maybe build a relationship but she’s not received anything in the post, not even a birthday/Christmas card. There has been no contact since 2013. Id like to apply for full custody of my daughter but I am worried that I will need to face him in court or that it will bring him out of the woodwork and he’ll start hassling me again. I was diagnosed with PTSD and I suffer with anxiety due to that relationship and this makes it worse, the thought of seeing him, him trying to get in touch with me again etc.
Purple - 16-Aug-18 @ 12:14 PM
My daughter is conflicted about seeing her dad. She is 9 and did not see him for 18 months while he was in a relationship, since which has ended. He has reentered her life which at first was well received but has since turned sour. Now my daughter hides from the phone ringing and anytime his name is mentioned bursts into tears. During the time he was away she started seeing a counsellor to help her express the feelings. I have tried explaining to her dad that she may have some unresolved issues with him leaving but he is refusing to talk. Now my daughter falls to pieces everytime he texts me. I cant bare to see her like this anymore
Sam28 - 13-Aug-18 @ 11:37 PM
Maram - Your Question:
Hi my question is a bit different from parents but ex sister in law. My daughter is now 12 she was taken from me when she was 4 by my family as I got married she went to live with my father then he passed then my brother and wife took custody of her now they are divorced she now lives with ex sister in law is now have 4 more children with my husband I have recently found out that where my 12 yr old daughter is living is not suitable in my opinion as there are 4 people smoking weed every day and night and 1 other person who lives with ex sister in law is on a lot of medictation for PTSD and depression and other problems now me and my husband we don't drink nor take any drugs we keep our self's to our self's my question is what is the chances of getting her back with me here mother thanks

Our Response:
Talk to social services. Was your daughter adopted or just put into the care of your brother and his wife? Have you had an ongoing relationship with your daughter?
LawAndParents - 3-Aug-18 @ 10:37 AM
Hi my question is a bit different from parents but ex sister in law. My daughter is now 12 she was taken from me when she was 4 by my family as I got married she went to live with my father then he passed then my brother and wife took custody of her now they are divorced she now lives with ex sister in law is now have 4 more children with my husband I have recently found out that where my 12 yr old daughter is living is not suitable in my opinion as there are 4 people smoking weed every day and night and 1 other person who lives with ex sister in law is on a lot of medictation for PTSD and depression and other problems now me and my husband we don't drink nor take any drugs we keep our self's to our self's my question is what is the chances of getting her back with me here mother thanks
Maram - 31-Jul-18 @ 9:05 PM
Hi my son ex left with his daughter when she was only 3months old and his ex has now lost there daughter as she was in a violent relationship and my sons daughter is getting looked after by grandparents to his daughters mum.. My sons been fighting the gran parents for custody of his daughter .. He has court next month to see if his daughter is going to go home with him .. My son has no criminal record and has been having visits with his daughter every2 weeks as its in england and my son lives in Scotland all assessment s have came bk the child is not at risk. Dose enyone in law know if my son will get full custody of his daughter over the gran parents plz
Shazza - 18-Jul-18 @ 12:23 PM
Need advice which steps take next. I am separated almost for 2 years. Have filed for a divorce and my ex has ignored the whole process at moment I am about to send still this month my decree absolute. He lives in another country since we have split he hasn’t contacted my daughter neither came to see her. I look after her in all senses and no financial or emotional support from dad. Want to have full custody of my daughter so I don’t need any permission from dad for travelling etc..
Jana - 15-Jul-18 @ 9:24 AM
T - Your Question:
Hi, I split with my partner 5 years ago and have a 5 year old boy. in the past my ex had some big issues. I was called to her house by her family members on one occasion where drugs were involved and my son was left uncared for. At this point I took him into my protection which was agreed by the whole of her side of the family. I decided it was best to give her very regular access whilst assessing her situation. The new boyfriend left and she seemed to be getting better, so I agreed to 50/50 access. Then a year after she reconciled with the guy in question which ultimately lead to a drink driving charge with my son in the car when leaving his house after an argument. I took him again. A year later he was back with her 50/50 as before. A week ago I received a message to say that his attitude had become very 'ladish' to quote her. and that hes not listening to teachers at school, being a pain basically. And that it was down to my parenting skills. Also accusing me of drinking to excess with my child in my care. Which by the way is total rubbish. I work and constantly take him away and set clear boundaries for him. Shes now refusing to let me see him, informing the school im not to collect ect. Her family have blanked my calls so I dont know where to go. Could I bring up the historical issues and but this to bed for good in court. I.E leaving me with custody. I feel somethings underlying that might boil over and lead to my son being unsafe (usually she gets like this when shes not feeling stable). Thanks

Our Response:
You can apply to the court for an order either for full residency of 50/50 shared care. We can't say what a judge would grant as we don't have all the details. Always stress that you want what is best for your son, stability, routine etc which you have provided for him. You might want to take a look at the Separated Dads forum on our sister site where you can get some great advice and support
LawAndParents - 5-Jul-18 @ 11:46 AM
Hi, I have been separated from my husband for 9 months, in this time I have filed for divorce he has ignored everything as he says he is depressed and suicidal, has been in a treatment centre for 3 weeks and threatens to throw himself in the thames, he doesn’t have regular access as says he can’t cope as is to unwell, I’ve had to stop access and he is now saying he is going for full custody and will tell everyone I’m an unfit mother and alcoholic, also not true . Can he do this? What are the chances of him winning?
Toni - 4-Jul-18 @ 6:37 PM
Mr J - Your Question:
My daughter is turning 8 next month and she has lived with her mum since our relationship breakdown almost 7 years ago. I have had concerns in the past about the welfare of my daughter and I have spoken to her mum about it and it's always been batted down. I have spoken to people in the past including Citizens advice, social services and even a solicitor and they have all told me that without evidence It wouldn't go very far. My latest concern is that my daughters mum works nights and my daughter and her sister (different dad) stay with grandparents during this time, my concern is my daughter is saying to me that her and her sister are being left to look after themselves in the mornings whilst my daughters mum gets some sleep following a night shift, she has told me sometimes she sleeps through most of the day. My daughter has been subject to three different men living with her mum in the last 7 years, one of the relationships broke up as it was verging on abusive. When I pick my daughter up I can see into the house and it is always trashed and the smell is atrocious, my daughter comes out wearing seasonally inappropriate clothing (No coat in the winter and jeans and long sleeave tops in the summer) and my daughter's hair is always greasy and unbrushed and looks generally neglected. My daughter wants to stay with me as she doesn't get on with her mum or grandparents particularly well and when she plays up for them I get phonecalls to speak to my daughter and tell her off for her bad behaviour, I think her mum can't cope with part time work and the two children. So my question is this, What can I do? do I report to the police or NSPCC or do I apply for custody (Which I don't think I could afford to do). How do I help my daughter and get her out of there and at home with me where she is looked after, never left to fend for herself?

Our Response:
Talk to the mother first of all. Ask if you can change the child arrangements so your daughter stays with you more of the time. If your ex doesn't agree, you will have to attend mediation before going to court for a court order. If you're concerned about your child's welfare, continue communicating with social services.
LawAndParents - 2-Jul-18 @ 1:00 PM
Hi, I split with my partner 5 years ago and have a 5 year old boy. in the past my ex had some big issues. I was called to her house by her family members on one occasion where drugs were involved and my son was left uncared for. At this point i took him into my protection which was agreed by the whole of her side of the family. I decided it was best to give her very regular access whilst assessing her situation. The new boyfriend left and she seemed to be getting better, so I agreed to 50/50 access. Then a year after she reconciled with the guy in question which ultimately lead to a drink driving charge with my son in the car when leaving his house after an argument. I took him again. A year later he was back with her 50/50 as before. A week ago i received a message to say that his attitude had become very 'ladish' to quote her. and that hes not listening to teachers at school, being a pain basically. And that it was down to my parenting skills. Also accusing me of drinking to excess with my child in my care. Which by the way is total rubbish. I work and constantly take him away and set clear boundaries for him. Shes now refusing to let me see him, informing the school im not to collect ect. Her family have blanked my calls so i dont know where to go. Could i bring up the historical issues and but this to bed for good in court. I.E leaving me with custody. I feel somethings underlying that might boil over and lead to my son being unsafe (usually she gets like this when shes not feeling stable). Thanks
T - 1-Jul-18 @ 8:06 PM
My daughter is turning 8 next month and she has lived with her mum since our relationship breakdown almost 7 years ago. I have had concerns in the past about the welfare of my daughter and I have spoken to her mum about it and it's always been batted down. I have spoken to people in the past including Citizens advice, social services and even a solicitor and they have all told me that without evidence It wouldn't go very far. My latest concern is that my daughters mum works nights and my daughter and her sister (different dad) stay with grandparents during this time, my concern is my daughter is saying to me that her and her sister are being left to look after themselves in the mornings whilst my daughters mum gets some sleep following a night shift, she has told me sometimes she sleeps through most of the day. My daughter has been subject to three different men living with her mum in the last 7 years, one of the relationships broke up as it was verging on abusive. When I pick my daughter up I can see into the house and it is always trashed and the smell is atrocious, my daughter comes out wearing seasonally inappropriate clothing (No coat in the winter and jeans and long sleeave tops in the summer) and my daughter's hair is always greasy and unbrushed and looks generally neglected. My daughter wants to stay with me as she doesn't get on with her mum or grandparents particularly well and when she plays up for them i get phonecalls to speak to my daughter and tell her off for her bad behaviour, I think her mum can't cope with part time work and the two children. So my question is this, What can I do? do i report to the police or NSPCC or do I apply for custody (Which I don't think i could afford to do). How do i help my daughter and get her out of there and at home with me where she is looked after, never left to fend for herself?
Mr J - 1-Jul-18 @ 12:05 PM
I left my husband after 27 years of mental abuse I have 5 children 3 of them are in the it 20 I said to him I'm taking the youngest 2 with me and he said that they hated me and some more added words which I'm not going into and I hit him first time ever had in done that he made all these accusations and brainwashEd my children against me really bad so would i have grounds to get custody of my youngest 2 as my youngest is now worried about being in the room with me been to court numerous times and contact centre.
Ali - 26-Jun-18 @ 8:29 PM
Hi I have been separated from my ex husband for 11 years and divorced for 5 years He has agreed to give me full parental responsibility How do I go about making good that legal? Many thanks
justme - 13-Jun-18 @ 11:18 AM
Sashquach - Your Question:
I need advice. I was in a domestic violent marriage which ended around Xmas time 2014. I filed for divorce in march 2015. (I still do not have my divorce as he is refusing. Even after and ex girlfriend of his handed him the papers) anyway he has money taken from his account by cms as he stopped paying child support that was agreed. He hasn't seen his children and made no effort to (thank god) the judge told him at hearing fir injunction that he was to arrange supervised visits at a contact centre. He never bothered. I g Ave no idea where he us other than the town. He seems to be the best hide and seek player in the world. My youngest son is under a paediatric go and they have stated that the adhd. Hyperactivity and other behaviours is contributing from the abuse my two children got (my son more than my daughter) I dont know where to start in looking at getting sole custody. I cannot fathom anything happening to me and him getting them. Please help. My solicitor I have at moment. Has taken a year to sort divorce out and it hasn't moved forward at all. I cannot get hold of her hardly. I have all emails to show conversations. I'm at my wits end

Our Response:
You are already the main carer simply by virtue of the fact the father is absent and a judge has ordered only supervised contact via a contact centre. If the father suggests he wants contact and you are not happy with it, then that might be the time to consider court.
LawAndParents - 4-Jun-18 @ 2:47 PM
I need advice. I was in a domestic violent marriage which ended around Xmas time 2014. I filed for divorce in march 2015. (I still do not have my divorce as he is refusing. Even after and ex girlfriend of his handed him the papers) anyway he has money taken from his account by cms as he stopped paying child support that was agreed. He hasn't seen his children and made no effort to (thank god) the judge told him at hearing fir injunction that he was to arrange supervised visits at a contact centre. He never bothered. I g Ave no idea where he us other than the town. He seems to be the best hide and seek player in the world. My youngest son is under a paediatric go and they have stated that the adhd. Hyperactivity and other behaviours is contributing from the abuse my two children got (my son more than my daughter) I dont know where to start in looking at getting sole custody. I cannot fathom anything happening to me and him getting them. Please help. My solicitor I have at moment. Has taken a year to sort divorce out and it hasn't moved forward at all. I cannot get hold of her hardly. I have all emails to show conversations. I'm at my wits end
Sashquach - 3-Jun-18 @ 8:03 PM
I have a daughter 14 months old, I found my ex is a Gay , he took me the court and he has haft custody, his drinking a lots alcohol, skmoking, and bring men from Internet to his house for sex. I worry about my Baby when is his care.
Bella - 2-Jun-18 @ 9:15 PM
Any help or tips on children's custodyfor a dad.my ex partner and I have 2 kidssocial services are involved but very negativehelp as my ex partners mum is quite high up in children's social services and can't prove her involvement presently but I do knowshe deals the hidden handconcept to the children's interestsbut the children's mothersuffers depressiongoes on benders with drink and drugsand has known to do disappearing actswhen she should be havingcontact with the childrenmy question is how is the best way forward to achievefullcustodyof my childrenand protect their well-being as the children have informed methat there mumhas on many occasions had random malefriends constantlyat there homesoyou canguess my worriessocial services have beenmade awareof on goingsituations where the motherS be haviourgoes off trackbut lack to interveneasthey say it's okaythey with a responsibleadult IEher mother the social workerso how can I breakthis behaviourand get custodyof my childrenthank any one with reasonable tip or help
Matty - 1-Jun-18 @ 2:38 PM
CharlotteM - Your Question:
Hello I’m 27 years old and I have a 6 year old daughter. In 2016 I suffered a breakdown. I found out my partner of 8 years (daughters dad) was having an affair and two close family members died quite suddenly which was very upsetting. So her dad left the scene and maintained contact with our daughter when he felt like it. To be honest he put his new girlfriend first, he turned up when it suited him but there was always arguments. I struggled to cope with everything, there I was a single mum hardly any support and heartbroken. I started drinking moderately at first but then I noticed it increaseing. I then put myself into a private rehabilitation Center to come to terms with the grief I’ve been feeling. Her father looked after her for the two weeks I was away. When I came back a few weeks later I had a glass of wine (I didn’t understand alcoholism as I thought I was cured and everything was alright as I went to rehab) he then never gave my daughter back to me which caused me to brake down. Since then I attend AA I have a decent job I’m abstained from drinking for 5 months and I’m feeling better than ever.no chance of me ever having a drink again as far as I’m concerned. The father then went to the courts last year for a residency order witch he was granted as I did not turn up to court, I was scared,in a bad place,ashamed. He has not let me see her since and have not seen her for 14 months yet she lives about 20 min away. I’m so desperate to see her. I know this has a lot to do with his jealous new girlfriend (the one he had a affair with) as she likes my daughter to call her mum! I’m so heartbroken over this situation and I take full responsibility for my drinking however I am only human and some people have to breakdown to build themselves up stronger. Ideally I’d like the residency order reversed would this be possible ? I can provide a hair strand test after 6 months to prove my sobriety. I talk to her over the phone a couple of times a week she knows who I am and we have a good relationship. I don’t think it’s right she’s living with her dad and that home wrecker in 1 room in his grandads flat. Any advice?

Our Response:
Talk to Citizens Advice or Family Rights Group to see if there's any support you can get in going back to court and getting the terms of the child arrangements order amended, so that you can share contact.
LawAndParents - 1-Jun-18 @ 1:48 PM
Hello I’m 27 years old and I have a 6 year old daughter. In 2016 I suffered a breakdown. I found out my partner of 8 years (daughters dad) was having an affair and two close family members died quite suddenly which was very upsetting. So her dad left the scene and maintained contact with our daughter when he felt like it. To be honest he put his new girlfriend first, he turned up when it suited him but there was always arguments. I struggled to cope with everything, there I was a single mum hardly any support and heartbroken. I started drinking moderately at first but then I noticed it increaseing. I then put myself into a private rehabilitation Center to come to terms with the grief I’ve been feeling. Her father looked after her for the two weeks I was away. When I came back a few weeks later I had a glass of wine (I didn’t understand alcoholism as I thought I was cured and everything was alright as I went to rehab) he then never gave my daughter back to me which caused me to brake down. Since then I attend AA I have a decent job I’m abstained from drinking for 5 months and I’m feeling better than ever.no chance of me ever having a drink again as far as I’m concerned. The father then went to the courts last year for a residency order witch he was granted as I did not turn up to court, I was scared,in a bad place,ashamed. He has not let me see her since and have not seen her for 14 months yet she lives about 20 min away. I’m so desperate to see her. I know this has a lot to do with his jealous new girlfriend (the one he had a affair with) as she likes my daughter to call her mum! I’m so heartbroken over this situation and I take full responsibility for my drinking however I am only human and some people have to breakdown to build themselves up stronger. Ideally I’d like the residency order reversed would this be possible ? I can provide a hair strand test after 6 months to prove my sobriety. I talk to her over the phone a couple of times a week she knows who I am and we have a good relationship. I don’t think it’s right she’s living with her dad and that home wrecker in 1 room in his grandads flat. Any advice?
CharlotteM - 31-May-18 @ 9:35 AM
Dear Friends, I'm an Indian born Australian Citizen, OCI card holder, married to an Indian Citizen from last 3 years, and have one 2 years old son, who is born in India and gained Australian Citizenship by Descent. At the moment, he doesnt have OCI card. We have taken visitor visa for 1 year for him. We live in India and are working so my mum takes care of our son all the time. My wife who is an Indian Citizen is creating problems in family. She is not interested in our relation now. She didn't applied for Australian Spouse Visa as she doesn't want to move to Australia because she is very possessive about her family and want to live with them. At the moment we are living together. I have 3 brother-in-laws and 2 sister-in-laws so there is no question of anything like they need her support or financially dependent on her. So now I wish to move back to Australia with my son. My questions are: 1.Can I take my 2 year old son to Australia with me as he is an Australian Citizen. 2.Can She by any means create problems for him to move to Australia with me. If yes, then what is the point of my Son having Australian Citizen. 3. Can I apply for divorce in Australia if i got married in India. My reason for divorce is that my in-laws family are forcing me to live in India. As they know if by Indian law they can stop me taking my child to Australia as he is an infant, so they can force me to live in India and are harassing me in different ways. Please advice. Regards, Rahul
rahul - 26-May-18 @ 7:35 AM
Plz ignore my first email address. And do not REPLY my husband is using the same email account. (URGENT)
Boo - 23-May-18 @ 3:59 AM
My husband is a portuguese passport holder and even my daughter(4yrs) whereas I'm on a dependent spouce visa. Its been 5 yrs since we married. Things were all good. It has been almost 2 yrs i have been abused physically. When he was in UK n me in my country i was abused through whats app sending me his nude video's and pictures inspite of me saying NO(which i have all in records) When i refused to have physical contact, he started putting false allegation that i have an affair(i can prove myself by going under medicle grounds that i didn't have physical relation) when i asked him for divorce he said he's ready to divorce me but blackmailing me through my child, saying he ll take her custody. He very well knows my weakness that i cant do without my child neither she can live without me. Now we are shifting to UK. He said once i'm there i wont be able to do anything. Are there chances where i can file a divorce and get my child's custody? Please advice
Boo - 23-May-18 @ 3:23 AM
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