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What are my Ex-Partners Visitation Rights?

Author: Louise Smith, barrister - Updated: 25 May 2011 | Comment
 
Visitation Children Custody Parental

Q.

My partner and I were never married, we have two children and have recently separated. We are both British, I live in France with the children, one of which was born here.

He has a house in France but is not resident here as he works abroad based in London and Dublin. I would like to know what my rights are with regards to custody of the children and visitation rights for their father.

At the moment he turns up in the country without notice and expects to keep the children with him, if that is for a day or three weeks, and they are very confused. Can I make him regularise his visits? Who do I speak to, an English lawyer or French?
(Miss M.K, 16 October 2008)

A.

Parental Responsibility

As the mother of the children you automatically have what is known as parental responsibility for them. This gives you both rights and responsibilities for the children. These include providing a home for the children, protecting them, making decisions about their welfare and education, and deciding where they live.

The unmarried father of a child will only have Parental Responsibility for that child if he entered into a parental responsibility agreement with the mother or obtained a parental responsibility order from a court. For children born after 1st December 2003, unmarried fathers may acquire parental responsibility by jointly Registering The Child’s Birth with the mother. If none of these apply, you have sole parental responsibility and the right to make any decisions involving the children.

Custody of Your Children

It seems that, either by an agreement with your ex-partner or just because it seemed the natural thing to do, you have custody of the children. It would appear that this arrangement also suits your ex-partner’s lifestyle. This is also compatible with you having parental responsibility.

Visitation Rights

Your real concern seems to be the way your ex-partner has taken to arriving unannounced and expecting the children to stay with him. If you have sole parental responsibility, you are entitled to say how and when these visits should take place. If your ex-partner also has parental responsibility, he will be equally entitled to say what he thinks it should happen. However, it sounds as if the only consideration your ex-partner gives to these visits is what suits him. It is unlikely to be in the children’s best interests to have no idea from one minute to the next what will happen.

UK or French Law

Asking the courts to resolves issues involving children should always be a last resort. In England, the law which governs children’s issues, the Children Act 1989, specifically states that the children’s welfare is always paramount when a court decides what order to make and whether it should make an order at all.

If there is any possibility that this issue can be resolved through discussion with your ex-partner, this should be the first step. Perhaps your ex-partner has not given much thought to how his arrangements impact on the children’s wellbeing. Stability and routine may be of paramount importance to them after the trauma of a break-up.

If you and your ex-partner cannot reach a mutually acceptable agreement regarding visitation and /or custody, you may still wish to consult a lawyer. If you and the children are permanently based in France, it would almost certainly be appropriate to consult a French lawyer. Conducting legal proceedings in the UK from France would be time-consuming and expensive.

Under European Law, the decision of a court in one EU state regarding issues of parental responsibility should be recognised by the courts of all other member states. Therefore a decision reached in France should be binding in the UK.

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Comments...

3 years ago i took my ex to court so he could see his child, the courts first of all said he can visitation at my house with me present, but when he came he was just asking me back and wasnt showing any interest towards the child, i told my solicitor and then he missed visits so i took him back to court, of which then i offered for him to see his child at my mothers without me present, he would then come for a few visits then miss a couple of weeks then come then he didnt show up for 6 months, of which we learnt that my ex moved away, after 6 months of not hearing from him, no letter, nothing for 6 whole months, i then recieved a letter stating he wanted to see the children again, of which we went back to court, at court i asked for him to see the children at a contact center twice a week, he turned up then didnt then did then didnt so on, but the second contact center he was meant to go to he never turned up at all, a CAFCASS report was also to be filed of which he never turned up to his appointment with the CAFCASS officer, then back at court he never turned up for the hearing, so it got withdrew, now 2 and half years later i get a solicitor letter stating he wants to see the child again. I would like to know if he would get another chance of having contact, also will the courts realise he is just playing games, my child is only 5 starts school in september which a big enough thing in her life without having a complete stranger come in and out again. I feel he is not interested in whats best for the child and is just playing games, my child is very stable and very happy and i dont want him to come in and ruin everything. This is not in the best interest for my child.
brunette - 12 January 2012 @ 8:40 PM
my sons natural dad hasnt seen him for around 8years now, i had a another partner, mr d,and went on to have another child, who is now one and a half, mr d, seems to favour the company of the son thats isnt biologically his, and will only see them when it suits him, he has no job, and refuses to pay maintanence, i work and have to pay for a nanny because of my shifts. he has no parental responsibility. what rights do i have to force him to a)pay up (i am in contact with the c.s.a) b) see the children at fixed times and spend equal amount of time with them? or at least time with the smaller one? i have tried many discussions civilly and not civilly,im at my witts end i have no family to help me. what do i do?
loopy - 8 January 2012 @ 5:07 PM
@Miss S. Denying your daughter contact with her dad is not really the way to help the situation. You need to contact the CSA and they will set up an arrangement for you.
LawAndParents - 26 July 2011 @ 10:03 AM
i have split up with my partner we are not married we split about 8months ago and he wants all the say in what goes on in our daughters life and wants to visit all the time he does not support her by givin me matainace i provide her with everything she needs he has a good well payed job to our daughter is 9mths old now n hasnt payed a penny for her wot rights do i have when it comes to visit as he dnt support her do i have the right to lower his visit to once aweek on a saturday for 3 hrs
Miss S - 25 July 2011 @ 8:30 PM
I live in France am british and my ex also lives in france and is dutch, we are not married. However both our names are on our sons birth registration so I understand that we both have parental reponsibility. I am worried that my ex is going to cause some problems,the split has only happened in the last couple of weeks. Does my ex have a right to take my son away from me? As the parents how does the law see our individual responsibilities eg how is it decided where my son should live, what are my rights if i wish to leave france with my son? I own a house here, outright, but as I am a full time mum at the moment I have no income, I think I should be eligible for governmental support though. My ex has is own business so could financially support my son. I would appreciate a quick response as I am very worried. Our son is 8 months old. Thanks so much.
Ms B - 22 June 2011 @ 1:16 PM
I live in spain with my 2 kids and my new husband. I have 2 kids from my ex, we were not married but I want to change their names to the same as mine. How do I go about that without his say so and how can I get sole custody for my children?
car - 20 May 2011 @ 12:27 PM
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