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Can I Stop my Children Meeting my Husbands' Partner?

By: Louise Smith, barrister - Updated: 21 Feb 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Children Access Prohibited Steps Order

Q.

My husband left me for another married woman with 2 children under the age 3. We have two childen together, aged 6 and 8. It has only been 4 months and the children are still reeling from it.

He now wants them to meet his new partner. I have said no because of the situation and I think it selfish and unfair to bring our children into this horrible affair.

Even though I have told him I don't want them meeting her, he will do it behind my back.

Have I any legal rights to say that my husband can only see the children if I am present?

(Mrs HC, 8 October 2008)

A.

I am assuming from your question that the children live with you and that legal divorce proceedings have not yet been started.

As the children’s father, your husband almost certainly has Parental Responsibility for the children in legal terms. This means that he has a right to have a say about the children’s upbringing and welfare. Your husband is entitled to see the children and it is not really up to you to say how those meetings should be conducted.

By stipulating that he can only see the children while you are present, you are obviously affecting the relationship he can have with the children. If he does not agree with your demand, you cannot force him to comply. If you prevent him from having access to the children at all, he will have to go to court and apply for an order which forces you to give him access. Alternatively, you could go to court and apply for an order that sets conditions on the access your husband has to the children.

To prevent your children meeting your husband’s new partner, you could apply for a Prohibited Steps Order under the Children Act 1989. You would have to convince the court that it is in your children’s best interest not to meet your husband’s new partner because she would have an adverse influence on them. Your question does not mention any specifics in this respect other than your natural unhappiness about the circumstances. Going to court is not a decision to be entered into lightly and will almost certainly add to your children’s distress.

It does seem that your husband is not being very responsible and is rushing things by wanting the children to meet a new partner so soon after the end of your relationship. How does he know that this new relationship will last? Is it fair on the children to introduce a new person into their lives while they are still trying to come to terms with the huge upheaval they have experienced?

Although I am sure that it is hard for you to talk to your husband calmly, perhaps you could encourage him to read some guidance on introducing new partners to children. If you can persuade him that you are only thinking of the children’s best interests – and not stopping them from meeting the new partner out of spite – he might be prepared to listen.

If you cannot reach an agreement with your husband, you will almost certainly have to consult a solicitor to discuss the legal options open to you.

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Brownies - Your Question:
My partner and I have recently split up but are still living in the same house. We have a 2 1/2 son. I discovered he has been cheating on me with the woman he was in a relationship with before we got together. They had already separated before I met him. He was with her for a number of years and during that time she used to hit him on quite a regular basis. When speaking to me about it on one occasion he compared himself to a battered housewife who tried to leave a number of times but kept going back to her like she had some sort of hold over him. His mother knew about this and she absolutely hates her for it. Apparently she has never hit anyone else but I've told my ex she will not be allowed anywhere near my son. I can't risk her being violent towards him and I can't be 100% sure my ex would be able to protect him from her when she has previously had such a hold over him. Would I be able to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order to stop her being allowed near my son? I don't have proof that she hit my ex, just what he and his mother have told me, would this be enough?

Our Response:
If you genuinely fear for your son's safety, it may be worth looking into. The courts may order further investigations or psychological reports etc before making a decision.
LawAndParents - 16-Feb-17 @ 10:17 AM
My partner and I have recently split up but are still living in the same house. We have a 2 1/2 son. I discovered he has been cheating on me with the woman he was in a relationship with before we got together. They had already separated before I met him. He was with her for a number of years and during that time she used to hit him on quite a regular basis. When speaking to me about it on one occasion he compared himself to a battered housewife who tried to leave a number of times but kept going back to her like she had some sort of hold over him. His mother knew about this and she absolutely hates her for it. Apparently she has never hit anyone else but I've told my ex she will not be allowed anywhere near my son. I can't risk her being violent towards him and I can't be 100% sure my ex would be able to protect him from her when she has previously had such a hold over him. Would I be able to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order to stop her being allowed near my son? I don't have proof that she hit my ex, just what he and his mother have told me, would this be enough?
Brownies - 15-Feb-17 @ 8:36 AM
TeBs - Your Question:
Hello. My ex husband and I have two children together. we got divorced in 2011. The kids are now 9 and 11 years of age.We moved from Germany ( after the divorce) to Scotland, with the fathers permission and in the divorce papers it is said that they live with me. My ex ( because of work) moved to England 4 years ago. For 3 years he hadn't seen his daughters. He now has a new family ( as said on social media it is great to be a first time dad).21/2 years ago my new partner and me were thinking about for him to adopt the girls. Sadly did we have a few difficulties and now live separated but work hard on our relationship. The kids see him as their daddy and not really want to talk or see their birth father. HE was rather nasty to them also saying he'd rather go on holiday then seeing them. He also left it to his German sister to tell my oldest daughter ( in front of a shopping centre) that she had a half brother now.To make a long story short.I needed to apply for a passport for the girls as theirs were obsolete. My ex is making things as awkward as possible as I need his signature as well on the forms. We only want to visit my and his family ( my daughters grandparents) and to be able to leave the borders we need the passports.Would it be possible to receive sole custody or something similar which makes it possible for me to make these decisions on my own?IT is pure spite that he is not granting me this. He enjoys as he says that I still have to ask his permission to go on holiday.

Our Response:
Even if you apply for full residency (which you have anyway as the girls don't see their father and the divorce papers details that they live with you) - their father still has parental responsibility and needs to give his consent. If you feel he is being unreasonable, you may have to take it to mediation, failing that a court order (specific issue order).
LawAndParents - 9-Feb-17 @ 10:58 AM
Hello. My ex husband and I have two children together. we got divorced in 2011. The kids are now 9 and 11 years of age. We moved from Germany ( after the divorce) to Scotland, with the fathers permission and in the divorce papers it is said that they live with me. My ex ( because of work) moved to England 4 years ago. For 3 years he hadn't seen his daughters. He now has a new family ( as said on social media it is great to be a first time dad). 21/2 years ago my new partner and me were thinking about for him to adopt the girls. Sadly did we have a few difficulties and now live separated but work hard on our relationship. The kids see him as their daddy and not really want to talk or see their birth father. HE was rather nasty to them also saying he'd rather go on holiday then seeing them. He also left it to his German sister to tell my oldest daughter ( in front of a shopping centre) that she had a half brother now. To make a long story short. I needed to apply for a passport for the girls as theirs were obsolete. My ex is making things as awkward as possible as I need his signature as well on the forms. We only want to visit my and his family ( my daughters grandparents) and to be able to leave the borders we need the passports. Would it be possible to receive sole custody or something similar which makes it possible for me to make these decisions on my own? IT is pure spite that he is not granting me this. He enjoys as he says that I still have to ask his permission to go on holiday.
TeBs - 7-Feb-17 @ 3:42 PM
My life was destroyed when my husband sent me packing, after 13 years we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to my husband back to me. One day at work, I was distracted, not knowing that my boss called me, so he sat and asked me what it was all about, I told him and he smiled and said it was no problem. I never understood what he meant by it was no problem getting back my husband, he said he used a spell to get back his wife when she left him for another man, and now they are together till date and initially I was shocked hearing something from my boss. He gave me an email address of the Prophet Abuvia which helped him get his wife back, I never believed that this would work, but I had no choice coming into contact with the sayings that I get done, and he asked for my information and that my husband was able to propose to throw him the spell and I sent him the details, but after two days, my mother called me that my husband was pleading that he wants me back, I never believed, because it was just a dream and I had to rush off to my mother's place and to my greatest surprise, was kneeling my husband beg mefor forgiveness that he wants me and the child back home, when I gave prophet Abuvia a conversation regarding sudden change of my husband and he made clear to me that my husband will love me until the end of the world, that he will never leave for another woman. Now me and my husband is back together and started doing funny things he has not done before, he makes me happy and do what it is supposed to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind need, please contact Prophet Abuvia for help. His email is prophet.abuvia AT g m a i l . com his website is prophetAbuviasolutiontemple . webs . com
sarah - 24-Jan-17 @ 12:32 PM
I was with my ex partner for 5 years and we split in August. We have 2 children ages 2 and 4. I havenow been with my new partner 4 months and i think it is time to introduce her to my children. Can my ex partner stop me introducing her to my kids? Please help and advise me?
Adammanto - 18-Jan-17 @ 12:43 PM
Hi there my new partner and we have been together 7 known each other 11 months I was introduced to her son in July when we decided to get be in a relationship. We're are both part of a parenting group called sps were other single parents and there children was there and yes I am a single parent to my now 2 yr old son who I won full custody of in July were a section 37 was completed and all went in my favour. I have a daughter from a previous to my son's mum she is 10 and mother has stopped contact because we can't agree on the amount of time I should spend with her so it's in court but at present I see her every Sunday for 4 hours. Now my partners ex is saying I am a danger to his children one lives with him who has very complex needs and the other with my partner I have never meet the child with special needs or her ex partner. The other son was introduced to me through a single parents group we did it this way to make sure our kids get on and with each parents we hit of straight away and the kids did to we did a few more meets before we meet alone together with the kids the bond has grown to were my partners son is saying this is how a family should be. Now my partner is in court with him saying I am control abusing his son and controlling his ex ? So he is asking for a prohibited steps order to stop me seeing the children Is this possible plus me and my partner and son are moving into mine and we are engaged to be married in 2018 July plus he has reported his concerns to social services in my area and my partners in my partners are they did an assessment over 2 months to where they came back and stated they have closed it with no concerns in my are I received a letter from lado SS stating they are melicous lies and no action to be taking he has had Clair's law done on me and Sarah's law both came back clean I am gd single farther and supported my partner through this she has doctors and councillor letters stating she received mental abuse from him and I have a crime number for harrassement against her ex this about breaking us both up and having control of my partner could someone advise if we should break up for children and should not be together we are so happy and so are the children but this man is putting everyone on edge please please advise
happy - 18-Jan-17 @ 8:02 AM
I seperated from my fiancee 4 years ago after being in a relationshipwith him for 14 years.He cheated on me with numerous girls. We have a 9 year old girl from the relationship. Ever since the break up he has been dating different women. This 2017 he came to collect our daughter for their father/daughter time. When she came home she was very quiet and I could see the sadness in her eyes. I asked her about it and she said nothing is wrong. The next day she was her normal selfagain. 3 days after he picked her up again for their bonding time. When he brought her back she was all quiet and headed straight for the couch where she fell asleep. I am worried coz I think he most probably introduced her to his latest girlfriend.
Confused - 14-Jan-17 @ 5:57 AM
Hi I have been separated from my ex partner for over three years he had an affair with a woman almost twenty years younger with a son a similar age to our son we had together. I am in no way bitter about the affair or our relationship ending. My concern is purely for the welfare of how my child is being treated when he is at their house, he has come home over the last three years with injuries, the worst being a smashed tooth, a full bruise to the whole of his cheek and side of his face and recently a cut and bruised eye. The injuries are from his dad's partners son hitting him. My ex sometimes lies or dismisses the injuries as accidents but my gut feeling tells me he is being picked on and his dad and partner call him names when he is there, my son is loving and caring and he is a little withdrawn or angry when he comes home from being at their house. But I do know on the rare occasions he's had any time alone with his Dad or his Dad's mum he comes home happy. I haven't done anything about it as I know the law is I have no say and my ex can take him where he wants to when my son is in his care but I am so afraid that my son and her son are not being supervised or my son is just being allowed to be hurt. I don't want to stop my son seeing his Dad but the thought of him getting hurt more seriously and me not having a say or being there to protect him is making me ill. I have asked my ex to just have Dad and son time together (he only sees him twice a week for a few hours by choice) and keep him away from his partners house and her son, he says I can't stop that and it's none of my business, I am so concerned for my sons safety Is there any advice you can give me please, my son is just six years old. Thank you
Annio - 2-Jan-17 @ 2:37 AM
Hi there me and my partner have split after 20 years together and have 3 children aged 11,15 and 17. I have had to move out of the house as it was solely in her name which I haven't got a problem with my problem is that within a week of moving out she has moved her new boyfriend in who has a history of violence and drug use. He has only been out of prison for 2 months for attacking someone with a baseball bat and nearly killing them. That was the second time in prison and he has also got a long history of drug abuse and from what I have been told by close friends of his he has abused every girl he has been with. I have spoken to my ex and asked her not to let him look after the kids while she is at work or leave him in the house unattended with them which she is refusing and it is causing real friction between me and the kids as she is telling them that I am causing all the problems when all I am doing is looking out for their safety and we'll being I just don't think it's right that someone with his history should be allowed to move in and look after our children when she has only known him for a few weeks and hasn't even been completely honest with her is there any suggestions on what I can do about this. Thanks
Dave - 29-Dec-16 @ 5:04 PM
Hi there me and my partner have split after 20 years together and have 3 children aged 11,15 and 17. I have had to move out of the house as it was solely in her name which I haven't got a problem with my problem is that within a week of moving out she has moved her new boyfriend in who has a history of violence and drug use. He has only been out of prison for 2 months for attacking someone with a baseball bat and nearly killing them. That was the second time in prison and he has also got a long history of drug abuse and from what I have been told by close friends of his he has abused every girl he has been with. I have spoken to my ex and asked her not to let him look after the kids while she is at work or leave him in the house unattended with them which she is refusing and it is causing real friction between me and the kids as she is telling them that I am causing all the problems when all I am doing is looking out for their safety and we'll being I just don't think it's right that someone with his history should be allowed to move in and look after our children when she has only known him for a few weeks and hasn't even been completely honest with her is there any suggestions on what I can do about this. Thanks
Dave - 29-Dec-16 @ 4:49 PM
Hi, I am going through divorce and have been separated from my ex wife for nearly a year now. I have three children which I see and pay maintenance for. I have a new partner and we have been together for about 5 months now. I would like my children to meet her, my ex is saying no to this and will not come to any agreement at all, not even a phone call. Has she any rites regarding this situation? Can she tell me who my children can and can't see when I have them?
KB - 26-Dec-16 @ 10:40 PM
JD - Your Question:
I have a concern. Should I allow my son to receive any presents (or even met the woman one day) from my x husband gf who aided and abetted the destruction of my family? Honestly I don't want her to even think of my son and even dare to stay close to him. Me and my x are just recently divorce now. He's in the Netherlands while me and my son are back here in the UK. I have moved on now and feel a lot happier with my son, however my 13 yrs of marriage ended up when my x fall on this woman and she become his motives to gave up our marriage, not even given a try for a counselling. The woman knows he's married and that we have an autistic son yet she's happy to motivates him to give up on us. This xmas my son will fly to holland with his granny to see his dad. I don't want to send him over but for the sake of his routine to have the best xmas he can enjoy, swallowing my pride and give my ex a favour but I'm kinda unease or maybe I'm just being paranoid (I hope) that his gf will gave my son some presents. Do you think I should speak to my x regarding this? I know it's not easy and it might spark into an argument between us since we didn't end amicably. I have move on now and I don't wanna go back to that negativity feeling around me as it drains my energy. ??

Our Response:
We really can't advise on what you can do to make you feel best but try and think of what you son will feel and what will be in his best interests. Would it harm your son to meet her? To receive presents from her?
LawAndParents - 22-Dec-16 @ 11:27 AM
I have a concern. Should I allow my son to receive any presents (or even met the woman one day) from my x husband gf who aided and abetted the destruction of my family? Honestly I don't want her to even think of my son and even dare to stay close to him. Me and my x are just recently divorce now. He's in the Netherlands while me and my son are back here in the UK. I have moved on now and feel a lot happier with my son, however my 13 yrs of marriage ended up when my x fall on this woman and she become his motives to gave up our marriage, not even given a try for a counselling. The woman knows he's married and that we have an autistic son yet she's happy to motivates him to give up on us. This xmas my son will fly to holland with his granny to see his dad. I don't want to send him over but for the sake of his routine to have the best xmas he can enjoy, swallowing my pride and give my ex a favour but I'm kinda unease or maybe I'm just being paranoid (I hope) that his gf will gave my son some presents.. Do you think I should speak to my x regarding this? I know it's not easy and it might spark into an argument between us since we didn't end amicably. I have move on now and I don't wanna go back to that negativity feeling around me as it drains my energy. ??
JD - 21-Dec-16 @ 12:56 AM
Hi I've been with my partner for nearly two years now and I'm currently expecting a new baby that will be here in April. My partner has two children from his previous relationship and the woman despises me. She has never met me but has made mine and my partners life hell for the past two years with continued lies and horrendous hate campaign. She has never allowed me to meet the children and has ensured that my partner only has his children every other weekend at his mothers house. Things got so bad with her behaviour that he picks the kids up from her mums in south London. He drives from Portsmouth (where we live) to South London to collect them from her mums and then on to Kent to his mums to have them for the weekend. He then drives back from Kent to London and then on to Portsmouth back home on a Sunday. We would love for the kids to spend the weekends with us as an extended family, for them to know my daughter and for them to be involved In the pregenancy and to be a part of their new brother or sisters lives. It's heart breaking because she has told the kids that daddy has chosen me and a new family over being at home with them, when it was actually her that had an affair and made my partner move out. She has also got her mum, who mediates between my partner and herself to say that's it's unrealistic to think that his children will ever be a part of our family or play a role in their siblings lives. The kids are 7 & 11 but as far as I'm aware he is not on the birth certificate as she wanted to claim benefits as a single person when the kids were born to financially benefit herself. I feel like I'm at a complete loss, the kids should be able to enjoy the prospect of a new sibling, not be prevented from spending family time with it when it arrives. As a family we should be able to spend our weekends together without the segregation. I feel like we have seperate lives all because this woman had an irrational hate for me. I do everything thing I can to support my partners relationship with his kids, from arranging trips away for them, driving him to events so he can see them, organising their birthday, Easter, and Christmas gifts, helping him financially with the costs of supporting his children but I'm still shut out, so is my daughter and now so is the baby I'm carrying. My partner is scared to stand up to her because he is petrified she will stop access or use lies and blackmail as a way of preventing contact.?its been going on for so long now I just don't know what to do? Any advice would be greatly recieved, Natalie
Nattynoos - 3-Dec-16 @ 2:40 PM
I was with my partner for nearly 2 years before our daughter was born, she is now 5 months old. My partner walked out when she was 7 weeks old after I found out he had been cheating on me since I was 6 months pregnant. He rarely sees our daughter even though I push for him to see her. He says he doesn't want me to be there when he has her but I have to be as I am breastfeeding, I have been very amicable even in the circumstances for our daughter. They broke up when I found out but got back together 2 weeks ago, now he is saying he will be taking our daughter to this girl who broke up our family as soon as he can. Is there anything I can do to stop this?
Steph - 29-Oct-16 @ 10:16 PM
R1chess - Your Question:
My wife has left me for her latest affair (Started after Xmas 2015) and had full intentions of take full custody of other 2 boys (3&7). It all came out when I checked the download folder of the house PC where there was photos, videos and a full instant messaging script spanning back to Feb (02/16 to 08/16). In this they talk of replacing me as the father figure and leaving me with nothing. There was a secret meeting with the 3yrs old and getting he us to the new father figure. Also pictures and videos (in various clothed states) of my children have been sent to the new man also a tormenting video and texts towards him sent to the man, and not to me the father. A plan also became clear that the affair would continue in secret until morally suitable. There has been a plan to introduce them to the new partner for months and has now staled as and I quote 'Know to much'. I have said no because of the situation and I think it not in a best interests of the children in this horrible affair.Even though I have told her I don't want them meeting him, she will do it behind my back as she already has. Is there anything I can do?I am already filing for adutery.

Our Response:
There's not a great deal you can do to prevent the children from meeting your (soon to be ex) wife's partner unless you file for a Prohibitive Steps Order. The courts will only grant one of these if they think your children will be at risk, or adversely affected by it.
LawAndParents - 24-Oct-16 @ 10:30 AM
My wife has left me for her latest affair (Started after Xmas 2015) and had full intentions of take full custody of other 2 boys (3&7). It all came out when I checked the download folder of the house PC where there was photos, videos and a full instant messaging script spanning back to Feb (02/16 to 08/16). In this they talk of replacing me as the father figure and leaving me with nothing.There was a secret meeting with the 3yrs old and getting he us to the new father figure. Also pictures and videos (in various clothed states) of my children have been sent to the new man also a tormenting video and texts towards him sent to the man, and not to me the father. A plan also became clear that the affair would continue in secret until morally suitable. There has been a plan to introduce them to the new partner for months and has now staled as and I quote 'Know to much'.I have said no because of the situation and I think it not in a best interests of the children in this horrible affair. Even though I have told her I don't want them meeting him, she will do it behind my back as she already has. Is there anything I can do? I am already filing for adutery.
R1chess - 22-Oct-16 @ 12:41 AM
My wife has left me for her latest affair (Started after Xmas 2015) and had full intentions of take full custody of other 2 boys (3&7). It all came out when I checked the download folder of the house PC where there was photos, videos and a full instant messaging script spanning back to Feb (02/16 to 08/16). In this they talk of replacing me as the father figure and leaving me with nothing.There was a secret meeting with the 3yrs old and getting he us to the new father figure. Also pictures and videos (in various clothed states) of my children have been sent to the new man also a tormenting video and texts towards him sent to the man, and not to me the father. A plan also became clear that the affair would continue in secret until morally suitable. There has been a plan to introduce them to the new partner for months and has now staled as and I quote 'Know to much'.I have said no because of the situation and I think it not in a best interests of the children in this horrible affair. Even though I have told her I don't want them meeting him, she will do it behind my back as she already has. Is there anything I can do? I am already filing for adutery.
R1chess - 20-Oct-16 @ 10:46 PM
While working together, a manager and I began seeing each other while he was still married and I was at the end of the separation period for my divorce. Shortly after we began seeing each other, his wife found out she was pregnant so, due to her many health and behavioral issues, he decided he would not move out like he had intended to before we started dating. It had been in the works for approximately 5 months before the pregnancy. After it had been established and considered healthy and viable for full-term, he moved out in December 2015. She began having complications in April a few weeks before his due date, so he returned to her home, to a separate area of the house but in the same home nonetheless, to help out with things while she was on bed-rest. He was let go from his job at the place where he was working and stayed home to care for the baby and her after her C-Section. After she returned to work 12 weeks later, he began looking for employment, but also was the babies sole caregiver daily. She would feed him a couple of times while home (she worked part-time) and rarely would she get up during the night for feedings or fussing claiming she was tired and needed to rest for work. Finally, in August, he permanently moved out and moved in with me and my 3 children. My divorce had since been final for about 9 months. His son is now almost 6 months old and she refuses to allow him visitation because of me, "his tramp b****" and tells him she will never allow me around him and never wants him to have custody as well. He began work about a month ago and has finally been able to afford the lawyer he has found to help out. She filed the divorce papers last week, but there isn't any custody agreement/terms yet. She has let him have the child over a whole weekend a couple weeks back because she had a "date weekend", but has since been dumped by the suitor. Last week, she was staying with her mother and was allowing him to see him for about 30-45 minutes after work before bed time there a couple days. Now she is back to not allowing him to see him at all costs. My boyfriend has an appointment with his lawyer next week, but we are unsure what can be done for him to have immediate visitation with him and not have to be at his parents' home. His father is currently living in a half-way home due to drug addiction and his mother wants to play no part in "getting in the middle". He does not want to be around her or her family, but that was his only options for this entire period. Can she legally keep their sonaway from him and me at all times just because she wants to? (It is only because she blames me for the break up of her marriage which was already established about 6 months before we met. I am a great mother and care for my children responsibly and have a great friendship with my ex-husband who has vouched for me in that aspect.) Does he have any rights to seeing his son while the divorce proceedings are on-going? Is there anything he can do to p
MJ16 - 20-Oct-16 @ 8:02 PM
Hi I was wondering if you could help. My and my x have separated. he had an affair with a girl 12yrs younger than him. He keeps trying to introduce his new gf to our son (2) even though its only been 6 weeks. Our son isn't really aware of what's going on, but doesn't really have much of a bond with his dad as he has always worked away, doesn't ask for him or get excited if he picks him up. My issue is that I have been informed that his gf has a bit of a 'like for alcohol' and regularly drinks during the day, and drink drives. I have never seen this for myself, so have never been able to report it, but I am concerned for my sons safety if my x decides to introduce them without me knowing, or worse let her drive my son, whether he knows she has been drinking or not. Can I stop her having access to my son? I want him to see his dad but worry about him being at risk with the gf, and do not have any evidence to prove her possible alcoholism.
desperatemummy - 12-Oct-16 @ 4:11 PM
Hi is there anyone how can give me some advice please All make it short as possible He we go me and my ex movers in about 5 years ago and we have 2 children My son hasLearning difficulties And my daughter is just achatterbox lol Anyway what has happened it has come to light that she has been mental abusing my kids so I have stop all contactaltogether but my question is can I get herarrestedfor this !!! Thanks in advance
Blondbomber - 31-Aug-16 @ 4:39 PM
I recently found out that my ex has been cheating on me for 2 for of the 3 years we've been together. He also has brought the female around our daughter who he is now living with. When she was first born, we had an agreement (in case things did not work out) to not bring other people around her until one of us met the other person. Since he has broken our agreement can I legally keep the other girl away from my daughter?
Dj - 27-Aug-16 @ 7:34 PM
Nik - Your Question:
I am in a very similar situation, my wife of 15 years and partner of 18 years has had an affair. We separated a month ago, she now wants to introduce her new partner to our 2x children, my son is 5 1/2 and my daughter is almost 3 1/2. She has worked with her new partner for 3 years I think and is adamant she knows him very well etc. He is 48 and she is 35, he's never had children but apparently looks after a step grandson every weekend, I'm not sure of his age. I really don't feel the time is right for them to be introduced, she wants to do it in stages and introduce him as a friend at 1st but then as a partner. We are still living in the family home and sharing child care, with both of us staying at different houses, her his house and me at my sisters about 2/3 times per week. He's in a rental property with a view to them living together in 5 months time. I obviously think this is far too soon. I was just wondering what if any was a suitable timescale prior to the children being used to a gap with regards to me and my wife living apart to a new person moving in with them? I really feel 5 months is way to short.I believed we were in a very good happy marriage and recently just bought a new house together. She says I just didn't make her happy anymore. Many thanks, advice is more than welcome.

Our Response:
There are no laws that specify a time when/if a new partner should be introduced but you can apply for a court order to stop this if you feel the children would be at risk or adversely affected.
LawAndParents - 25-Aug-16 @ 2:22 PM
Higgiv - Your Question:
Me and my husband split and I moved out. I have since been seeing someone and we believe this relationship is serious and have been in it 4/5 months and I think it's time he met the children.I am sure that my husband will not want this and will try and stop this happenening. I would like to be able to do this with his blessing and hope that he will accept I have a new relationship. Can my husband stop me from introducing my new partner? Is there any legal stipulations? My new partner is no risk to the children and it would be a gradual introduction. As I am still married I didn't know if it could be stopped?Me and my husband have been very diplomatic in the split with sharing the children 3/4 days each one a two week rolling basis. The children are happy and understand this.

Our Response:
There are no laws about new partners meeting children but if your husband is concerned he can apply for a court order to prevent this until the relationship has been established for longer. It's at the discretion of the court as to whether an order is granted.
LawAndParents - 25-Aug-16 @ 11:22 AM
I am in a very similar situation, my wife of 15 years and partner of 18 years has had an affair. We separated a month ago, she now wants to introduce her new partner to our 2x children, my son is 5 1/2 and my daughter is almost 3 1/2. She has worked with her new partner for 3 years I think and is adamant she knows him very well etc. He is 48 and she is 35, he's never had children but apparently looks after a step grandson every weekend, I'm not sure of his age. I really don't feel the time is right for them to be introduced, she wants to do it in stages and introduce him as a friend at 1st but then as a partner. We are still living in the family home and sharing child care, with both of us staying at different houses, her his house and me at my sisters about 2/3 times per week. He's in a rental property with a view to them living together in 5 months time. I obviously think this is far too soon. I was just wondering what if any was a suitable timescale prior to the children being used to a gap with regards to me and my wife living apart to a new person moving in with them? I really feel 5 months is way to short. I believed we were in a very good happy marriage and recently just bought a new house together. She says I just didn't make her happy anymore. Many thanks, advice is more than welcome.
Nik - 22-Aug-16 @ 8:48 PM
Me and my husband split and I moved out. I have since been seeing someone and we believe this relationship is serious and have been in it 4/5 months and I think it's time he met the children. I am sure that my husband will not want this and will try and stop this happenening. I would like to be able to do this with his blessing and hope that he will accept I have a new relationship. Can my husband stop me from introducing my new partner? Is there any legal stipulations? My new partner is no risk to the children and it would be a gradual introduction. As I am still married I didn't know if it could be stopped? Me and my husband have been very diplomatic in the split with sharing the children 3/4 days each one a two week rolling basis. The children are happy and understand this.
Higgiv - 22-Aug-16 @ 12:29 PM
I am in a similar situation I am close to a girl and want to have a relationship but my son and daughterdon't want anything to do with her and my ex has said she will take my kids away if I stay friends or go into a relationship with her. My friend has kids too and I have seen her kids and they want to see mine but my ex she is stopping access for it. I am not going to change my relationship with this girl and am not getting dictated by my ex or kids to who I see in my life she makes me happy and I love her and want to be with her but my kids or ex is not stopping me to be happy what is your advice or to do?
Jay - 22-Jul-16 @ 9:38 PM
My husband divorced 10 yrs ago has access to his boys every other 2 weeks I have new the children 5 yrs and they have stayed at my house and now I'm married to their dad the ex wife has created many problems because she controlled husband all their life and after divorce continued to using the children as pawns in her game of late she has tried to cause chaos with life here and now not content saying he not allowed to see his children if I'm with him and obviously they won't be able to have weekend stay over cos I live in our house too and she doesn't like the way I spoke to her with regards of me wanting to speak to her over why she was trying to make trouble . She saying she will see him in court and he on low wage so carnt really afford solicitor to help him is there anything he can do about this ? She won't talk to us just won't listen and wants to call the shots of what's going on her way or no way .
Pinky - 10-Jul-16 @ 11:57 PM
NB78 - Your Question:
My wife and I have drifted apart to the point where she started (unintentionally) an online relationship with someone 12 years her junior. She is currently torn between trying to fix our relationship or divorcing and trying to start anew with him, and to be honest I've been so distraught over the past few months I'll be happy either way, as long as there's a resolution to this mess. My main concern is that he is a self-confessed alcoholic, manic depressive and has anger management and suicidal episodes as recently as a few weeks ago (which he conveniently used as a bargaining chip/blackmail when she told him she wanted to work things out here). If she does choose to try with him, I'm very reluctant to let my children anywhere near him for those reasons (they're 7 and 5). So far my wife has agreed that this would be the case if we did split, but I'd feel more comfortable with something more formal in place in case things become less amicable between us. Would his issues be sufficient grounds for setting up a formal order from the courts preventing him access to them?

Our Response:
If your wife agreed, you could apply for a (binding) residency order for the children quite easily. If she did not give her consent, you'd have to give details about all your circumstances to a judge who would make a decision based on the best interests of the children.
LawAndParents - 16-Jun-16 @ 2:31 PM
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