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Can I Stop my Children Meeting my Husbands' Partner?

By: Louise Smith, barrister - Updated: 17 Aug 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Children Access Prohibited Steps Order

Q.

My husband left me for another married woman with 2 children under the age 3. We have two childen together, aged 6 and 8. It has only been 4 months and the children are still reeling from it.

He now wants them to meet his new partner. I have said no because of the situation and I think it selfish and unfair to bring our children into this horrible affair.

Even though I have told him I don't want them meeting her, he will do it behind my back.

Have I any legal rights to say that my husband can only see the children if I am present?

(Mrs HC, 8 October 2008)

A.

I am assuming from your question that the children live with you and that legal divorce proceedings have not yet been started.

As the children’s father, your husband almost certainly has Parental Responsibility for the children in legal terms. This means that he has a right to have a say about the children’s upbringing and welfare. Your husband is entitled to see the children and it is not really up to you to say how those meetings should be conducted.

By stipulating that he can only see the children while you are present, you are obviously affecting the relationship he can have with the children. If he does not agree with your demand, you cannot force him to comply. If you prevent him from having access to the children at all, he will have to go to court and apply for an order which forces you to give him access. Alternatively, you could go to court and apply for an order that sets conditions on the access your husband has to the children.

To prevent your children meeting your husband’s new partner, you could apply for a Prohibited Steps Order under the Children Act 1989. You would have to convince the court that it is in your children’s best interest not to meet your husband’s new partner because she would have an adverse influence on them. Your question does not mention any specifics in this respect other than your natural unhappiness about the circumstances. Going to court is not a decision to be entered into lightly and will almost certainly add to your children’s distress.

It does seem that your husband is not being very responsible and is rushing things by wanting the children to meet a new partner so soon after the end of your relationship. How does he know that this new relationship will last? Is it fair on the children to introduce a new person into their lives while they are still trying to come to terms with the huge upheaval they have experienced?

Although I am sure that it is hard for you to talk to your husband calmly, perhaps you could encourage him to read some guidance on introducing new partners to children. If you can persuade him that you are only thinking of the children’s best interests – and not stopping them from meeting the new partner out of spite – he might be prepared to listen.

If you cannot reach an agreement with your husband, you will almost certainly have to consult a solicitor to discuss the legal options open to you.

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Can I stop my ex partner seeing my kids he smokes weed and she letting him sleep in the house after a week of knowing him
Marky - 17-Aug-17 @ 12:58 AM
My children's mum has recently split with me... and I'm certain she is seeing her ex again... he is controlling and manipulating but she can't see it... he has previously been aggressive and violent towards me when they were in a relationship while I was trying to pick my children up for contact which I was arrested for, for supposedly attacking him (I wouldn't do that because my children are my priority and I just wanted my children to have a nice weekend with their dad)... my ex has also told me that he has smacked his own children and even threatened to smack his own nephew, who was only 18/24 months old at the time...my stepson has also previously said that he hit him.. her ex is also part of the reason why we split due to making threats of taking their daughter off her and making her life a living hell (hence why he is manipulating and controlling).. my ex is also certain it was him that set fire to our old property resulting in her and the children being put in a refuge... he has also manipulated her into making false accusations against me in the past resulting in me being arrested for another crime I didn't commit... my family and her family all know he is no good to be around the children or her.... we just can't seem to manage to get her to see it... he has also manipulated me into thinking she had cheated on me and that my daughter wasn't actually mine... she is and now The more I think about the way he has been the easier it is to see through the front he puts on... he has also got an a problem with alcohol and he has also previously used drugs... is there anything I can do to make sure he isn't anywhere near my children???
Chaz - 8-Jun-17 @ 12:30 AM
My children's mum has recently split with me... and I'm certain she is seeing her ex again... he is controlling and manipulating but she can't see it... he has previously been aggressive and violent towards me when they were in a relationship while I was trying to pick my children up for contact which I was arrested for, for supposedly attacking him (I wouldn't do that because my children are my priority and I just wanted my children to have a nice weekend with their dad)... my ex has also told me that he has smacked his own children and even threatened to smack his own nephew, who was only 18/24 months old at the time...my stepson has also previously said that he hit him.. her ex is also part of the reason why we split due to making threats of taking their daughter off her and making her life a living hell (hence why he is manipulating and controlling).. my ex is also certain it was him that set fire to our old property resulting in her and the children being put in a refuge... he has also manipulated her into making false accusations against me in the past resulting in me being arrested for another crime I didn't commit... my family and her family all know he is no good to be around the children or her.... we just can't seem to manage to get her to see it... he has also manipulated me into thinking she had cheated on me and that my daughter wasn't actually mine... she is and now The more I think about the way he has been the easier it is to see through the front he puts on... he has also got an a problem with alcohol and he has also previously used drugs... is there anything I can do to make sure he isn't anywhere near my children???
Chaz - 7-Jun-17 @ 11:19 PM
Jo - Your Question:
My husband has recently left me, despite me being pregnant with our second child, for a woman he was having an affair with.He admitted to taking our child (between the ages of 2 and 3) with him regularly to this woman's house when he was visiting her to conduct their affair. He has also admitted that this woman uses cocaine recreationally although he doesn't believe this is a problem but I do find it a problem. I do not want this woman to have further contact with my child or my unborn child once I have delivered later this year. Her cocaine use concerns me greatly and I do not want my child(ren) confused (My husband has said several times he would rather be single than with her or anyone so I don't believe this relationship would last anyway). Are these reasonable grounds to apply for a prohibited steps order to prevent this woman being around my children? Thank you.

Our Response:
We really can't say what a court would decide in this instance. Generally they look at any risks posed to the children and at what they think will be in the best interests of their children.
LawAndParents - 22-May-17 @ 11:55 AM
My husband has recently left me, despite me being pregnant with our second child, for a woman he was having an affair with. He admitted to taking our child (between the ages of 2 and 3) with him regularly to this woman's house when he was visiting her to conduct their affair. He has also admitted that this woman uses cocaine recreationally although he doesn't believe this is a problem but I do find it a problem. I do not want this woman to have further contact with my child or my unborn child once I have delivered later this year. Her cocaine use concerns me greatly and I do not want my child(ren) confused (My husband has said several times he would rather be single than with her or anyone so I don't believe this relationship would last anyway). Are these reasonable grounds to apply for a prohibited steps order to prevent this woman being around my children? Thank you.
Jo - 19-May-17 @ 4:25 PM
Hudson - Your Question:
My separated wife leaves our children in charge with her new partner which I don't agree with as I know he has he's own daughter of 17 and has only seen her in a handful of occasions in that time and has not seen her in the last 5 years, if he cannot look after his own daughter I do not feel comfortable one bit having him look after mine in his own Do I have any legal right to stop this happening?

Our Response:
If you feel uncomfortable about this or feel your child is at risk in any way, you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent it.
LawAndParents - 17-May-17 @ 9:56 AM
My separated wife leaves our children in charge with her new partner which I don't agree with as I know he has he's own daughter of 17 and has only seen her in a handful of occasions in that time and has not seen her in the last 5 years, if he cannot look after his own daughter I do not feel comfortable one bit having him look after mine in his own Do I have any legal right to stop this happening?
Hudson - 14-May-17 @ 9:26 AM
Baff - Your Question:
How do I stop wife's partner see my children.In 2014 my wife embarked on an affair.Within days she had brought the man in the house. He was very jealous of my kids mum having a relationship with me , they had a very volatile relationship and would split up every couple of weeks.On one occasion he stalked her to a friends house , and burst into the house to find me.he then followed her home and insisted searching the house where my kids were to look for me, ( my kids weren't home at the time) after searching once, he then tried to kick the door in , and was subsequently charged for criminal damage. Another time he attacked me at the front door of where my kids live and I got arrested for attacking him, 3 months on remand and found not guilty ( I don't have a criminal record).After the court case he tried to attack me in , whilst in my car with my 7 year old son.this was reported to the police. Another occasion, he wasn't in a relationship with my kids mum, but one evening I picked my daughter up at one in the morning from a concert and took her home, just after we walked into the house my wine started receiving abuseive and threatening texts, we called the police to report this and they spoke to him in and told him that if he was seen near the house he would be arrested.10 months later my ex wife had got back with him. Can I stop this man being anywhere near my children

Our Response:
You would have to apply to the courts for an injunction. It would be up to the courts to decide whether this man's presence in your children's lives would put them at risk.
LawAndParents - 3-May-17 @ 12:29 PM
How do I stop wife's partner see my children. In 2014 my wife embarked on an affair. Within days she had brought the man in the house. He was very jealous of my kids mum having a relationship with me , they had a very volatile relationship and would split upevery couple of weeks. On one occasion he stalked her to a friends house , and burst into the house to find me .he then followed her home and insisted searching the house where my kids were to look for me, ( my kids weren't home at the time) after searching once, he then tried to kick the door in , and was subsequently charged for criminal damage. Another time he attacked me at the front door of where my kids live and I got arrested for attacking him, 3 months on remand and found not guilty ( I don't have a criminal record). After the court case he tried to attack me in , whilst in my car with my 7 year old son.this was reported to the police. Another occasion, he wasn't in a relationship with my kids mum, but one evening I picked my daughter up at one in the morning from a concert and took her home, just after we walked into the house my wine started receiving abuseive and threatening texts, we called the police to report this and they spoke to him in and told him that if he was seen near the house he would be arrested. 10 months later my ex wife had got back with him. Can I stop this man being anywhere near my children
Baff - 2-May-17 @ 8:39 PM
My son has a daughter with his first partner which he is now not with, he has been to the family courts and is allowed to see her every Sunday and and have her over night for the first Saturday in the month, the problem is sometimes he has to work for 4 hours of her stay so he leaves her with his partner that has 2 beautiful children and is a very good mother. My granddaughter is more than happy to spend time with the two children and thier mother but his ex partner will not let this happen what rights does she have to tell him who he can leave his daughter with while he works.
Me - 21-Apr-17 @ 7:56 PM
Louise - Your Question:
My ex partner met someone new just over a year ago. He introduced her to our daughter very quickly (after I told him to wait), and immediately moved her and her kids into his house. Our daughter stopped getting alone time with her dad, and found it distressing. She then came home talking about whether she could smoke, as one of her kids smoke (my daughter is 4), and other unpleasant things. My ex then comes to pick our daughter up drunk, and tells me that his girlfriend is a bad person, she hates her own kids, and they'd be better off with their dad. I sent him home, and stopped her having contact with my daughter. They've now decided everything's rosie, and want to forget everything thar happened. How do I stop this woman from being around my child?

Our Response:
If you think your child is at risk being around her, you may need to consider aprohibited steps order via the courts. Try and resolve this with your ex first. If it's not successful, you might be able to get a free half hour initial consultation with a family law solicitor for advice.
LawAndParents - 16-Mar-17 @ 2:36 PM
My ex partner met someone new just over a year ago. He introduced her to our daughter very quickly (after I told him towait), and immediately moved her and her kids into his house. Our daughter stopped getting alone time with her dad, and found it distressing. She then came home talking about whether she could smoke, as one of her kids smoke (my daughter is 4), and other unpleasant things. My ex then comes to pick our daughter up drunk, and tells me that his girlfriend is a bad person, she hates her own kids, and they'd be better off with their dad. I sent him home, and stopped her having contact with my daughter. They've now decided everything's rosie, and want to forget everything thar happened. How do I stop this woman from being around my child?
Louise - 15-Mar-17 @ 6:05 AM
Hi, I separated from my partner coming up 4 yrs I have since moved on and my ex partner is making things hard she had always dictated I can only have my son 1 night a week but that took well over a year to get that allowed I have 6 months took a job that I have to work away on a weekly basis I still have my child once a week lately he started wanting to go home to his mam cause he says he misses her...we both agreed when we moved on we wouldn't introduce our child to a new partner untill we had been in a steady relationship for 6 months I have now been dating my partner for over 6 months now she saying he can't meet her or her family because he started wanting to go home to her the nights he was ment to be stopping....tried reasoning with her and after a long back and forth process I get a message that she makesaid all decision in his life I don't get to choose when my new partner meet my son because he lives with her she will tell me when it's can happen....what can I do about this
Dom - 3-Mar-17 @ 6:47 PM
Brownies - Your Question:
My partner and I have recently split up but are still living in the same house. We have a 2 1/2 son. I discovered he has been cheating on me with the woman he was in a relationship with before we got together. They had already separated before I met him. He was with her for a number of years and during that time she used to hit him on quite a regular basis. When speaking to me about it on one occasion he compared himself to a battered housewife who tried to leave a number of times but kept going back to her like she had some sort of hold over him. His mother knew about this and she absolutely hates her for it. Apparently she has never hit anyone else but I've told my ex she will not be allowed anywhere near my son. I can't risk her being violent towards him and I can't be 100% sure my ex would be able to protect him from her when she has previously had such a hold over him. Would I be able to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order to stop her being allowed near my son? I don't have proof that she hit my ex, just what he and his mother have told me, would this be enough?

Our Response:
If you genuinely fear for your son's safety, it may be worth looking into. The courts may order further investigations or psychological reports etc before making a decision.
LawAndParents - 16-Feb-17 @ 10:17 AM
My partner and I have recently split up but are still living in the same house. We have a 2 1/2 son. I discovered he has been cheating on me with the woman he was in a relationship with before we got together. They had already separated before I met him. He was with her for a number of years and during that time she used to hit him on quite a regular basis. When speaking to me about it on one occasion he compared himself to a battered housewife who tried to leave a number of times but kept going back to her like she had some sort of hold over him. His mother knew about this and she absolutely hates her for it. Apparently she has never hit anyone else but I've told my ex she will not be allowed anywhere near my son. I can't risk her being violent towards him and I can't be 100% sure my ex would be able to protect him from her when she has previously had such a hold over him. Would I be able to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order to stop her being allowed near my son? I don't have proof that she hit my ex, just what he and his mother have told me, would this be enough?
Brownies - 15-Feb-17 @ 8:36 AM
TeBs - Your Question:
Hello. My ex husband and I have two children together. we got divorced in 2011. The kids are now 9 and 11 years of age.We moved from Germany ( after the divorce) to Scotland, with the fathers permission and in the divorce papers it is said that they live with me. My ex ( because of work) moved to England 4 years ago. For 3 years he hadn't seen his daughters. He now has a new family ( as said on social media it is great to be a first time dad).21/2 years ago my new partner and me were thinking about for him to adopt the girls. Sadly did we have a few difficulties and now live separated but work hard on our relationship. The kids see him as their daddy and not really want to talk or see their birth father. HE was rather nasty to them also saying he'd rather go on holiday then seeing them. He also left it to his German sister to tell my oldest daughter ( in front of a shopping centre) that she had a half brother now.To make a long story short.I needed to apply for a passport for the girls as theirs were obsolete. My ex is making things as awkward as possible as I need his signature as well on the forms. We only want to visit my and his family ( my daughters grandparents) and to be able to leave the borders we need the passports.Would it be possible to receive sole custody or something similar which makes it possible for me to make these decisions on my own?IT is pure spite that he is not granting me this. He enjoys as he says that I still have to ask his permission to go on holiday.

Our Response:
Even if you apply for full residency (which you have anyway as the girls don't see their father and the divorce papers details that they live with you) - their father still has parental responsibility and needs to give his consent. If you feel he is being unreasonable, you may have to take it to mediation, failing that a court order (specific issue order).
LawAndParents - 9-Feb-17 @ 10:58 AM
Hello. My ex husband and I have two children together. we got divorced in 2011. The kids are now 9 and 11 years of age. We moved from Germany ( after the divorce) to Scotland, with the fathers permission and in the divorce papers it is said that they live with me. My ex ( because of work) moved to England 4 years ago. For 3 years he hadn't seen his daughters. He now has a new family ( as said on social media it is great to be a first time dad). 21/2 years ago my new partner and me were thinking about for him to adopt the girls. Sadly did we have a few difficulties and now live separated but work hard on our relationship. The kids see him as their daddy and not really want to talk or see their birth father. HE was rather nasty to them also saying he'd rather go on holiday then seeing them. He also left it to his German sister to tell my oldest daughter ( in front of a shopping centre) that she had a half brother now. To make a long story short. I needed to apply for a passport for the girls as theirs were obsolete. My ex is making things as awkward as possible as I need his signature as well on the forms. We only want to visit my and his family ( my daughters grandparents) and to be able to leave the borders we need the passports. Would it be possible to receive sole custody or something similar which makes it possible for me to make these decisions on my own? IT is pure spite that he is not granting me this. He enjoys as he says that I still have to ask his permission to go on holiday.
TeBs - 7-Feb-17 @ 3:42 PM
My life was destroyed when my husband sent me packing, after 13 years we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to my husband back to me. One day at work, I was distracted, not knowing that my boss called me, so he sat and asked me what it was all about, I told him and he smiled and said it was no problem. I never understood what he meant by it was no problem getting back my husband, he said he used a spell to get back his wife when she left him for another man, and now they are together till date and initially I was shocked hearing something from my boss. He gave me an email address of the Prophet Abuvia which helped him get his wife back, I never believed that this would work, but I had no choice coming into contact with the sayings that I get done, and he asked for my information and that my husband was able to propose to throw him the spell and I sent him the details, but after two days, my mother called me that my husband was pleading that he wants me back, I never believed, because it was just a dream and I had to rush off to my mother's place and to my greatest surprise, was kneeling my husband beg mefor forgiveness that he wants me and the child back home, when I gave prophet Abuvia a conversation regarding sudden change of my husband and he made clear to me that my husband will love me until the end of the world, that he will never leave for another woman. Now me and my husband is back together and started doing funny things he has not done before, he makes me happy and do what it is supposed to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind need, please contact Prophet Abuvia for help. His email is prophet.abuvia AT g m a i l . com his website is prophetAbuviasolutiontemple . webs . com
sarah - 24-Jan-17 @ 12:32 PM
I was with my ex partner for 5 years and we split in August. We have 2 children ages 2 and 4. I havenow been with my new partner 4 months and i think it is time to introduce her to my children. Can my ex partner stop me introducing her to my kids? Please help and advise me?
Adammanto - 18-Jan-17 @ 12:43 PM
Hi there my new partner and we have been together 7 known each other 11 months I was introduced to her son in July when we decided to get be in a relationship. We're are both part of a parenting group called sps were other single parents and there children was there and yes I am a single parent to my now 2 yr old son who I won full custody of in July were a section 37 was completed and all went in my favour. I have a daughter from a previous to my son's mum she is 10 and mother has stopped contact because we can't agree on the amount of time I should spend with her so it's in court but at present I see her every Sunday for 4 hours. Now my partners ex is saying I am a danger to his children one lives with him who has very complex needs and the other with my partner I have never meet the child with special needs or her ex partner. The other son was introduced to me through a single parents group we did it this way to make sure our kids get on and with each parents we hit of straight away and the kids did to we did a few more meets before we meet alone together with the kids the bond has grown to were my partners son is saying this is how a family should be. Now my partner is in court with him saying I am control abusing his son and controlling his ex ? So he is asking for a prohibited steps order to stop me seeing the children Is this possible plus me and my partner and son are moving into mine and we are engaged to be married in 2018 July plus he has reported his concerns to social services in my area and my partners in my partners are they did an assessment over 2 months to where they came back and stated they have closed it with no concerns in my are I received a letter from lado SS stating they are melicous lies and no action to be taking he has had Clair's law done on me and Sarah's law both came back clean I am gd single farther and supported my partner through this she has doctors and councillor letters stating she received mental abuse from him and I have a crime number for harrassement against her ex this about breaking us both up and having control of my partner could someone advise if we should break up for children and should not be together we are so happy and so are the children but this man is putting everyone on edge please please advise
happy - 18-Jan-17 @ 8:02 AM
I seperated from my fiancee 4 years ago after being in a relationshipwith him for 14 years.He cheated on me with numerous girls. We have a 9 year old girl from the relationship. Ever since the break up he has been dating different women. This 2017 he came to collect our daughter for their father/daughter time. When she came home she was very quiet and I could see the sadness in her eyes. I asked her about it and she said nothing is wrong. The next day she was her normal selfagain. 3 days after he picked her up again for their bonding time. When he brought her back she was all quiet and headed straight for the couch where she fell asleep. I am worried coz I think he most probably introduced her to his latest girlfriend.
Confused - 14-Jan-17 @ 5:57 AM
Hi I have been separated from my ex partner for over three years he had an affair with a woman almost twenty years younger with a son a similar age to our son we had together. I am in no way bitter about the affair or our relationship ending. My concern is purely for the welfare of how my child is being treated when he is at their house, he has come home over the last three years with injuries, the worst being a smashed tooth, a full bruise to the whole of his cheek and side of his face and recently a cut and bruised eye. The injuries are from his dad's partners son hitting him. My ex sometimes lies or dismisses the injuries as accidents but my gut feeling tells me he is being picked on and his dad and partner call him names when he is there, my son is loving and caring and he is a little withdrawn or angry when he comes home from being at their house. But I do know on the rare occasions he's had any time alone with his Dad or his Dad's mum he comes home happy. I haven't done anything about it as I know the law is I have no say and my ex can take him where he wants to when my son is in his care but I am so afraid that my son and her son are not being supervised or my son is just being allowed to be hurt. I don't want to stop my son seeing his Dad but the thought of him getting hurt more seriously and me not having a say or being there to protect him is making me ill. I have asked my ex to just have Dad and son time together (he only sees him twice a week for a few hours by choice) and keep him away from his partners house and her son, he says I can't stop that and it's none of my business, I am so concerned for my sons safety Is there any advice you can give me please, my son is just six years old. Thank you
Annio - 2-Jan-17 @ 2:37 AM
Hi there me and my partner have split after 20 years together and have 3 children aged 11,15 and 17. I have had to move out of the house as it was solely in her name which I haven't got a problem with my problem is that within a week of moving out she has moved her new boyfriend in who has a history of violence and drug use. He has only been out of prison for 2 months for attacking someone with a baseball bat and nearly killing them. That was the second time in prison and he has also got a long history of drug abuse and from what I have been told by close friends of his he has abused every girl he has been with. I have spoken to my ex and asked her not to let him look after the kids while she is at work or leave him in the house unattended with them which she is refusing and it is causing real friction between me and the kids as she is telling them that I am causing all the problems when all I am doing is looking out for their safety and we'll being I just don't think it's right that someone with his history should be allowed to move in and look after our children when she has only known him for a few weeks and hasn't even been completely honest with her is there any suggestions on what I can do about this. Thanks
Dave - 29-Dec-16 @ 5:04 PM
Hi there me and my partner have split after 20 years together and have 3 children aged 11,15 and 17. I have had to move out of the house as it was solely in her name which I haven't got a problem with my problem is that within a week of moving out she has moved her new boyfriend in who has a history of violence and drug use. He has only been out of prison for 2 months for attacking someone with a baseball bat and nearly killing them. That was the second time in prison and he has also got a long history of drug abuse and from what I have been told by close friends of his he has abused every girl he has been with. I have spoken to my ex and asked her not to let him look after the kids while she is at work or leave him in the house unattended with them which she is refusing and it is causing real friction between me and the kids as she is telling them that I am causing all the problems when all I am doing is looking out for their safety and we'll being I just don't think it's right that someone with his history should be allowed to move in and look after our children when she has only known him for a few weeks and hasn't even been completely honest with her is there any suggestions on what I can do about this. Thanks
Dave - 29-Dec-16 @ 4:49 PM
Hi, I am going through divorce and have been separated from my ex wife for nearly a year now. I have three children which I see and pay maintenance for. I have a new partner and we have been together for about 5 months now. I would like my children to meet her, my ex is saying no to this and will not come to any agreement at all, not even a phone call. Has she any rites regarding this situation? Can she tell me who my children can and can't see when I have them?
KB - 26-Dec-16 @ 10:40 PM
JD - Your Question:
I have a concern. Should I allow my son to receive any presents (or even met the woman one day) from my x husband gf who aided and abetted the destruction of my family? Honestly I don't want her to even think of my son and even dare to stay close to him. Me and my x are just recently divorce now. He's in the Netherlands while me and my son are back here in the UK. I have moved on now and feel a lot happier with my son, however my 13 yrs of marriage ended up when my x fall on this woman and she become his motives to gave up our marriage, not even given a try for a counselling. The woman knows he's married and that we have an autistic son yet she's happy to motivates him to give up on us. This xmas my son will fly to holland with his granny to see his dad. I don't want to send him over but for the sake of his routine to have the best xmas he can enjoy, swallowing my pride and give my ex a favour but I'm kinda unease or maybe I'm just being paranoid (I hope) that his gf will gave my son some presents. Do you think I should speak to my x regarding this? I know it's not easy and it might spark into an argument between us since we didn't end amicably. I have move on now and I don't wanna go back to that negativity feeling around me as it drains my energy. ??

Our Response:
We really can't advise on what you can do to make you feel best but try and think of what you son will feel and what will be in his best interests. Would it harm your son to meet her? To receive presents from her?
LawAndParents - 22-Dec-16 @ 11:27 AM
I have a concern. Should I allow my son to receive any presents (or even met the woman one day) from my x husband gf who aided and abetted the destruction of my family? Honestly I don't want her to even think of my son and even dare to stay close to him. Me and my x are just recently divorce now. He's in the Netherlands while me and my son are back here in the UK. I have moved on now and feel a lot happier with my son, however my 13 yrs of marriage ended up when my x fall on this woman and she become his motives to gave up our marriage, not even given a try for a counselling. The woman knows he's married and that we have an autistic son yet she's happy to motivates him to give up on us. This xmas my son will fly to holland with his granny to see his dad. I don't want to send him over but for the sake of his routine to have the best xmas he can enjoy, swallowing my pride and give my ex a favour but I'm kinda unease or maybe I'm just being paranoid (I hope) that his gf will gave my son some presents.. Do you think I should speak to my x regarding this? I know it's not easy and it might spark into an argument between us since we didn't end amicably. I have move on now and I don't wanna go back to that negativity feeling around me as it drains my energy. ??
JD - 21-Dec-16 @ 12:56 AM
Hi I've been with my partner for nearly two years now and I'm currently expecting a new baby that will be here in April. My partner has two children from his previous relationship and the woman despises me. She has never met me but has made mine and my partners life hell for the past two years with continued lies and horrendous hate campaign. She has never allowed me to meet the children and has ensured that my partner only has his children every other weekend at his mothers house. Things got so bad with her behaviour that he picks the kids up from her mums in south London. He drives from Portsmouth (where we live) to South London to collect them from her mums and then on to Kent to his mums to have them for the weekend. He then drives back from Kent to London and then on to Portsmouth back home on a Sunday. We would love for the kids to spend the weekends with us as an extended family, for them to know my daughter and for them to be involved In the pregenancy and to be a part of their new brother or sisters lives. It's heart breaking because she has told the kids that daddy has chosen me and a new family over being at home with them, when it was actually her that had an affair and made my partner move out. She has also got her mum, who mediates between my partner and herself to say that's it's unrealistic to think that his children will ever be a part of our family or play a role in their siblings lives. The kids are 7 & 11 but as far as I'm aware he is not on the birth certificate as she wanted to claim benefits as a single person when the kids were born to financially benefit herself. I feel like I'm at a complete loss, the kids should be able to enjoy the prospect of a new sibling, not be prevented from spending family time with it when it arrives. As a family we should be able to spend our weekends together without the segregation. I feel like we have seperate lives all because this woman had an irrational hate for me. I do everything thing I can to support my partners relationship with his kids, from arranging trips away for them, driving him to events so he can see them, organising their birthday, Easter, and Christmas gifts, helping him financially with the costs of supporting his children but I'm still shut out, so is my daughter and now so is the baby I'm carrying. My partner is scared to stand up to her because he is petrified she will stop access or use lies and blackmail as a way of preventing contact.?its been going on for so long now I just don't know what to do? Any advice would be greatly recieved, Natalie
Nattynoos - 3-Dec-16 @ 2:40 PM
I was with my partner for nearly 2 years before our daughter was born, she is now 5 months old. My partner walked out when she was 7 weeks old after I found out he had been cheating on me since I was 6 months pregnant. He rarely sees our daughter even though I push for him to see her. He says he doesn't want me to be there when he has her but I have to be as I am breastfeeding, I have been very amicable even in the circumstances for our daughter. They broke up when I found out but got back together 2 weeks ago, now he is saying he will be taking our daughter to this girl who broke up our family as soon as he can. Is there anything I can do to stop this?
Steph - 29-Oct-16 @ 10:16 PM
R1chess - Your Question:
My wife has left me for her latest affair (Started after Xmas 2015) and had full intentions of take full custody of other 2 boys (3&7). It all came out when I checked the download folder of the house PC where there was photos, videos and a full instant messaging script spanning back to Feb (02/16 to 08/16). In this they talk of replacing me as the father figure and leaving me with nothing. There was a secret meeting with the 3yrs old and getting he us to the new father figure. Also pictures and videos (in various clothed states) of my children have been sent to the new man also a tormenting video and texts towards him sent to the man, and not to me the father. A plan also became clear that the affair would continue in secret until morally suitable. There has been a plan to introduce them to the new partner for months and has now staled as and I quote 'Know to much'. I have said no because of the situation and I think it not in a best interests of the children in this horrible affair.Even though I have told her I don't want them meeting him, she will do it behind my back as she already has. Is there anything I can do?I am already filing for adutery.

Our Response:
There's not a great deal you can do to prevent the children from meeting your (soon to be ex) wife's partner unless you file for a Prohibitive Steps Order. The courts will only grant one of these if they think your children will be at risk, or adversely affected by it.
LawAndParents - 24-Oct-16 @ 10:30 AM
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