I have a 16-year-old stepson who has been in a group home and after he returned home, he was expelled from school for breaking and entering and also for vandalism.
What are the legal ramifications that we as parents will face if we throw him out of our house?
He causes constant turmoil and was initially removed from our home for peeking at my 12-year-old daughter while she was in the shower. Please help!
What is parental responsibility?
Parental responsibility is the legal term for the duties and rights a person has towards a child. If you hold parental responsibility for your son, you have a legal obligation to protect him, provide a home for him, and meet his basic needs.
Not everyone who is a parent automatically has parental responsibility. A birth mother will have it from the moment her child is born in almost all cases. Fathers who are married to the mother at the time of birth, or who marry her afterwards, will also acquire parental responsibility. Fathers named on the birth certificate gain it automatically for children born after 1 December 2003 in England and Wales, or after 4 May 2006 in Scotland.
Unmarried fathers of children born before those dates may not have parental responsibility unless they later obtained it through a formal agreement with the mother or a court order. Step-parents do not have parental responsibility unless they have legally adopted the child, acquired it through the courts, or entered into a parental responsibility agreement with consent from everyone who already holds parental responsibility.
Check your legal rights as a parent on education, health and welfare decisions.
Try our Parental Rights Checker free, here on this site →Can you ask a 16 year old to leave?
Whether you can ask a 16 year old to leave home depends on several factors, but in most cases you cannot simply evict a child from your home without consequence.
Anyone with parental responsibility for a child has a duty to provide for them until they reach 18. Asking a 16 year old to leave and refusing to support them could be considered a failure to meet that duty. In some situations, it may even amount to neglect or abandonment, which can have legal consequences.
Parents who do not hold parental responsibility still have a financial obligation to support their children. This obligation is typically fulfilled through child support payments, calculated through the Child Maintenance Service, and applies regardless of whether you live with the child.
A 16 year old can choose to leave home and has certain rights to live independently at that age. However, that is different from a parent forcing them out. If your son has nowhere safe to go, local authority children's services must become involved and will take action to ensure his welfare.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
What about step-parents?
If you are a step-parent and have not formally adopted your stepson, you are unlikely to have parental responsibility for him. Your legal obligations will depend on whether you have taken steps to acquire parental responsibility through a court order, adoption, or a parental responsibility agreement.
Your partner's own status matters here too. If your partner is the birth mother, she is likely to have parental responsibility. If your partner is the birth father, his status will depend on the factors outlined above.
The household situation can affect what options are available and what the consequences might be for each of you.
Where to get help
Family breakdown involving a teenager is difficult for everyone. Before taking any steps, it may help to speak with a family solicitor who can advise on your specific circumstances. Many solicitors offer an initial consultation at a fixed fee or sometimes free of charge.
You can also contact your local council's children's services department for guidance. They may be able to offer support to keep the family together or help find appropriate solutions if living together is no longer possible. Organisations such as Family Lives provide free support and advice to families in distress.
For general information about parental responsibility, the GOV.UK website has guidance that explains the rules in more detail.
They don’t want to do any housework but to eat, have fun. Myself and their mum works a lot and the eldest daughter who’s 25 years and eldest son who is 21 years are so disrespectful and both are working and never put little from their wages down to support us in the house but they prefer to spend their wages on going on holiday but I don’t think their mum is helping them by not making them realise that they are an adult and they are supposed to be living on their own.
As a stepfather do I have legal rights to let them know that if they continue with their unacceptable behaviour they will have to leave the house.
Hi, I am the child of the person who wanted to kick me out. It is an extremely pathetic reason, for it was when I was ten years old. My sister was staying the night while visiting, and me and my father had to go to the veterinarian for my pet rabbit. I didn’t get ready in time, and instead of saying “It’s okay, be ready on time next time.” My father started an argument with me. And saying “I’m going to kick you out of the house!” I angrily agreed and ran into my sister on the way out. She had told me off, because of the argument which was started by my father. Which was very common, as I was mistreated as a child. People usually stood up for my adult sister when I was a kid. And she was going to go to University.
So, kicking YOUR child out is ILLEGAL. It is considered child abandonment. NEVER KICK YOUR CHILD OUT.
What can we do to break this cycle of behaviour-I have a duty to protect both.
shiv
I hate the UK system and law. Children are allowed to behave however they want and know they won’t be punished. In the space of 8 days, he’s stolen a car (& caught in it) , assaulted his Dad and put our windows through (all on cctv), stolen my engagement and wedding rings, threatened to assault his 8 yo brother and threatened to burn our house down. How much more should parents and families have to take!!???
I love them and just consider them as our flesh and blood, always have always will.
No parents are perfect, the same as no child is perfect. I know he has played up at times but when he never gets praise, gets locked in a stone shed and doesn't get cooked meals except Pot noodles, I can understand some or most of his behaviour.
Am I ok to take in my nephew legally?
He is at college but doesn't enjoy it and wants to try to get an apprenticeship, am I legally allowed to support him?
Do you know if I have any rights please?
Parenting
how come any age of 14 to 18 have a power over parents with no common sense laws. There 2 law that need to be void by doing that, parents will gain control and power over their child. One is, there is a law said that's child are allow to leave home on free will at at 14 to 17 year old which parents will have no control of child. Second is, Parents aren't allow to kick a child out for any reasons or beyond out of control, Which will put parents on crime charge and possibly face time jail. See that power child have. A minor Children's see that parents can't kick minor child out or Parents can't keep a minor child at home. How that's going solve a problem for a parents to have that power over there child??
Here, what it need to be done with a common sense law which parents will get that power back and regain their control,.. Make a new LAW that all minor who DISOBEYED parents,BEYOND OUT OF CONTROL,RUNNING AWAY,SNEAK OUT AT NIGHT and DRUG. Put them jail. It's must be at age 14 until they reach mature age of 18,
1. Any minor age 14 to 18 that DISOBEYED parents and beyond out of control will face up in jail until they reach age of 18.
First time will do 30 day believe in 2nd chance child could be possible open eyes. 2nd time will stay until age 18. Which will give a parents power back. Also it will keep the street less with minor running all over killing other for no reason also it's will keep them from join the gang or killing, all must be free from idle by doing nothing out of a time, that's why they get bored and end up breaking the law. That kind of common sense with law. Parents can be parents/law with law cop.
we need to get our power back as parents to where there will be no law for any minor to be emancipation or free will's on minor child to be free unless they 18. If a minor child can't followed rules at any home is breaking a law and it's more like a minor child will be breaking a law out in adult world. Break rule/law at home they will face a time jail. That's should be in future. Build a new jail for a Minor Children's Home..
A child that's break the parent/law, all parents have a right to sent child there. There is no need a proof or any reason of any necessary on any minor children's. Child have no power to speak because they are a minor period. Parents will have a right to do as they please with no questions from any authority over minor child. It's not necessarily need for court or from judges, they have no power over parents decision on which best for child. Build a big like home jail,school,train a jobs,army,hospital and many more for a future job, Correct or teach them in positive attitudes and by time they hit age at 18 will be free automatically, gradually from jail school, got job ready, place for them ready or back home up to them. Parents will have to pay for it to support whatever building is. Plux tax will cover that. I tell you this. Kids will not know power until they reach age
What is my legal right ? What can I do
As a parent of an 8 year old boy who has been a tyrant from day one. I can tell you something I've learn't. The most critical years of childhood are from 0 to 10/12. After this age just like a tree or plant the child is almost formed. It's not possible to do much after the age 14/15 in terms of trying to discipline etc. The answer to this country wide problem is two fold 1. good parenting (which you can only learn from good books) 2. Boarding high school (costs money!). The state needs to provide for such tearaway children it's not their fault they are very different that's all. You can't change a donkey into a horse or vice versa but you can accept it for what it is and try your best to help it. Instead of hating your child help him, as a parent you have 10X more power to do so. Even Hitler loved his parents, they may hated what he did but hopefully still loved him as their son upto the point of WWII. Once a child is 16 it's time to reap what you have sowed, if you received the seed of stinging nettle make it into the best one in the world, for it too has beauty in it. Yup sure it stings when you hug it but it too has a natural beauty. Look for the goodness in your son or daughter and praise it, don't look for the thorns all the time. Easier said then done I know but think of Anthony Joshua, what an amazing man he has turned out to be. Instead of taking the wrong path he found a better one ..boxing. When he told his mum what he wanted to do ofcourse she was worried but she encouraged him instead by saying "you knock them out". Encouragement is the best gift you can give to the most difficult child in the world, this is because even the most difficult child in the world wants to be successful, they don't know how to. Would you rather a drug dealer show him the way instead of you? Good luck!
He brings his friends here to do that when im at work and I am so worried to something happpens same as fire etc.
I told him if he does not obey my role he has to leave my house and he hasnt done.
I want to change the lock and dont lem him in.
Can I? And what shall I do?
Because the father is really bad... and does not allowed his child to go on holiday. In the meantime he never take him.
I cant see the original question, and I don’t know if this is UK or US (I’m UK). But I have a 16 year old I am desperate to get out of my house.
He steals, lies, does exactly what he wants at any time, I don’t know where he is or with who at any time he goes out.
He is a constant threat to my 12 year old and we live on egg shells never knowing just how horrible he will be.
I am called a c**t and t**t on a regular basis and the violence in the last 3 - 4 years has been horrendous.
The police have removed him several occasions (he has done custody probably about 6/7 times) with me eventually having to have him charged with assault last year.
At no point did the police or social services ‘house him’ - no - every time I was told I had to have him back because I’m his mum.
Social services last year said - at last - that they would rehouse him. But over a year later, they have been unable to find anywhere for him and now closed the case because no services they can provide are helping because he refuses to take anything on board.
So my hope I had been hanging on is gone.
I hate him. There is absolutely no relationship with him other than that of mental and physical abuse. But he’s 16 so they won’t treat it as that
Can I kick him out? I should point out that his dad refuses To have him live with him because of his behaviour and threat to his new wife. But apparently his 12 year old ok to live with it.
Any advice please
They will then get an appropriate adult from the social services who will not only go to the station, they will also give him some where to live if you feel you can no longer tolerate him at home ?Not only would they house him they would try and deal with his behaverel problems, I know this will be difficult but you can not carry on living like you are. Hopefully he will sort out whatever is obviously making him behave so badly, and you can have a normal mother son relationship. Stick to your guns how ever hard it may be and I know you will get through this and it will get better, I promise you. I was a horrible teenager and treated my mother disgustingly, but now we have the most amazing realationship and I love her deeply. Have faith there is life at the end of the tunnel..
He'll be 18 soon, when our parental responsibility ends. He has periods when he is a reasonable teenager, (for a teenager if you know what I mean) but when he uses cannabis his 'I don't care' attitude overcomes everything else. We love him dearly, and has had many chances, but every time we have given in and allowed him to return home. This last event is the straw that broke the camels back, and we cannot live with a person that uses us, has no respect for us - especially when he is using, and treats our home and belonging with such little respect.
Obviously we're scared that he'll end up on the street, and that we'll have to let him return to the fold, but in all previous cases when we have done this, he lasts a few weeks/months before his behavior towards us changes again (normally once he start regular cannabis smoking) so this time there will be no coming back.
I'm wondering if many here have / are experiencing a similar issue, and how are they dealing with it?
I have no money as am not entitled to bursary as they count parents income and mother does not contribute to feeding clothing etc .
Please what can I do?!
1. My husband already filed for divorce and Decree Nisi is coming. It is dangerous for my life to continue in UK as he has done done domestic voilence
2.I have a job offer outside UK.
Now when I asked him to give consent order to take children, he denied my request asking me tocontinue in UK.I need a solution soon, otherwise my job offer will become invalid.
Now my questions are :
1. I am still breastfeeding my young child aged 2, can I get help to take her with me, if yes how.
2. If I leave my children in UK with their father, am I violating law? if yes, If I write a letter to court , is that sufficient?
What can we do by law please ? I'm desperate to throw him out I feel I cannot wait until he turns 18. We have a 2 year old to think about whilst my son gets angry and aggressive to me and around the house. Help please.
Work with your kids and feed their ambition to learn and to grow and be more responsible and if you can help them to realize their dreams if they are actually putting in the time to make it happen on top of that remember just because you don't dream it doesn't mean it's not possible so do your best not to smash them down but I say you can't or that's not possible because the more and more you tell them that the blessing last Faith they're going to have you because that is the lie you've been telling them their whole life and you yourself believe that at one point honestly that's what makes it hurt the most just because a child is a child and has not experienced much emotionally does not mean that they aren't capable of feeling betrayed and hurt and honestly the last person you want them to feel that way towards their parents otherwise they will be spiteful towards everyone and think the world is their enemy
My sister cannot through him out until he is 18 as I understand things but as he is 17 NOBODY WILL HELP HER OR HIM. For him to get help for mental issues the various authorities need to wait until he is 18 , other wise they need his consent.
This is a ridiculous situation. Personally I would through him out and risk prosecution rather than risk the lives of others in the house, including young children. My sister is too scared to do so and so lives in fear of her life & safety instead.
How can this situation be remedied ?
My son is almost 17, he dropped out of college and despite getting a job, he left after 3 weeks. He smokes cannabis on a daily basis which makes him verbally and physical aggressive- he constantly screams at me telling me I'm a whore and wishing I was dead because I refuse to give him money. He is in trouble with the police and I can just see him ending up in prison if he carries on as he is.
I can't sleep and feel constantly sick with worry but just can't handle him and his behaviour any more. I have two other teenagers who are lovely and nothing like him.
I've contacted YSS who are going to contact him to try to get him working or studying but who can help me and the rest of my family? We are all suffering.
Things got worse between my wife and I and we separated 3 months ago. We no longer live together but I see all the children every day as i take the 3 younger ones to and from school every day and i have them 3 at mine every weekend. The 15 year old has become a problem for a number of years now. He's been kicked out of school for bad behavior, we got him into college to learn a vocation but he got kicked out as well for violent behavior.
He has admitted to using drugs, he has brought drugs to the house before when i lived there. He's aggressive and violent towards his siblings and his mother. He got violent with me when i lived there and he got a police caution for it. He's been to court for threatening behavior towards the police and he got a supervision order for it . He stole from me , he steals from his mother. Just last week, he stole a mopped, collided with a car and he got arrested for it. We have tried to get him as much help as we can, from social services to MST to anger management but nothing has worked. What brought me here is tonight he went out through the window, got back late, and because his mother didn't open the door, he literally kicked the door down. Every time something happens, we get told by the police that he is a minor, which i agree.
My concern is with the other children and how all these is affecting them. I believe their rights as minors as well are been violated by his actions. I don't believe the current environment is conducive for raising children and they need to be protected from all these. Is this a good enough reason to get my children to live with me instead. I have discussed this with my wife, she agrees to the fact that the environment isn't good for the children but wouldn't agree to a role reversal. Thanks.
I am terrified of her. Is this all true or am I being manipulated?
She makes day to day living very difficult, even mediation was a farce with her telling out and out lies and shouting over everyone. She has told the children (whom i have never met) that it was me who broke their family up despite her leaving my partner five years previously to me meeting him. They are permitted to talk about me negatively in any way they choose by her.
They have recently learned he has moved house and she says she has a legal right to see his house. Is this true?
I don't live there but she is insisting on driving them all the way there (a trip she has never offered to take before) and he believes this will only result in her finding fault with the home and removing the children from it and causing them upset and anguish. she is very negative and screams and shouts a lot, he is determined not to go to court because of the children.
we have his medical, mental and police records which are an horrific read, we have been through the courts to agree his access to the child but the courts don't seem to want to consider his history, we feel the child will be at risk in his company but the court appear to be trying to appease new fathers rights and laws. we have no problem with the childs dad having access to the child but don't want to put the child at risk. the main concern is overnight stays, the court do not see any risk but we feel he has to prove that he has changed and is no risk. Is there any legal angle where we could defer the overnight based on his history until he has proven himself as there does not appear to be any alternative but just to hand him over. The court appear to be pushing overnight but I am not wanting to put the child at risk.
We are not rich and have children of our own, 4 of whom still live at home. There has been no financial help to look after these two teens, and whilst we have no problem helping them, we are getting a little concerned as to where we stand now that the arrangement appears to be becoming more permanent! We are in a housing association house and are concerned we may get into trouble for having extra people live with us. Is there a proper way to inform HA, council etc? Are the two of them entitled to any help, at the very least with transport to college etc come Septemeber? Are they legally allowed to live away from their parents? Should they get into trouble, am I and my husband legally responsible for them? One f them has asked if we can accompany them to their college interview, it occurs to me that there will be parents' evenings etc later on, can we attend if their own parents refuse? If we are the ones supporting them at home, it would be useful to know how they are doing and what further help they need. I feel like we have suddenly become parents to two extra teenagers with all the responsibilities and no help.
Extra info that may help - they are both only just 16. They are not a couple and have turned up independently of each other. We are in receipt of some housing and council tax benefit (but nowhere near 100%) and also receive child and working tax credits. Neither child has a social worker nor is on the at risk register. I am not looking for large amounts of money, just need to know if they can apply for financial help to get to college and maybe any uniform or equipment they need and how we stand legally having them stay officially/long term.
Thank-you for any advice
Thanks
He left school with no qualifications because he couldn't be bothered to go to school half the time and then didn't turn up to take exams. I managed to get him on a three days a week college course. He is now excluded with only 47% attendance.
He stays up all night then lays in bed all day. He won't eat at meal times but demands I cook food at 11 oclock at night. He smashed everything up if he can't get his own way, trashed his room and tries to do the same in the rest of the house. I rent and whilst I have been out at work he has trodden chewing gum in the carpets around the house, skateboarded in the house, getting grease from the wheels embedded in the carpet. He has punched a hole in his bedroom wall and kicked the door off and damaged the frame.
As well as verbally abusing my 13 year old daughter, he also attacks us. He has now attempted to throttle me several times. He is becoming more and more aggressive if he can't get his own way. I feel worn down, ashamed and at times suicidal.
He was a darling little boy but has grown into an unrecognizable monster. I love my son, but this isn't my son anymore, he is a stranger to me now.
He is not depressed as he happily goes out when he wants to, is nice to his friends and girlfriend. At home he is a different character and cannot accept that he can't live in a tip nor play loud music if attack my daughter and I when he can't get his own way.
I dread coming home and sometimes sit outside in my car for ages wondering what to do. I have called the police on him when he selfishly went off for 48 hours when he was 15 and didn't tell me where he was, but I feel ashamed at reporting his violence and also dread the upset at my parents, his grandparents hearing what he has done. They know he is lazy and abusive but don't know the extent of his aggression.
He also lies. So much so that he believes his own lies and becomes very agitated when this is pointed out to him. This is concerning me greatly as he says if I call the police or try to get him removed from the house he will lie and say I've attacked him! This is ludicrous but he is so outrageous in what he says that I fear he may be believed. Ad I write it would be a relief to go to prison even if I am innocent as my homelife is so distressing, but I have my daughter to consider and care for.
No one in the family will have him, his dad started a new family years ago and has three young children and whilst is friendly to his face, doesn't want any responsibility for him. His wife has never liked my son and who can blame her for not wanting him around her children. My ex's mother, the other grandparents has had my son come to stay for a holiday but rings me in tears as he is so horrible to her.
I feel cut in half, one half thinking that one day he will wake up and be my darling little boy but the other half hopes that he will go out and never come back.
What do I
So the child cannot be forced to leave home under the age of 18 without committing a criminal offence of child neglect.
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