Child Abandonment and the Law

Originally written by Angela Armes, updated by the editorial team on 13th May 2026

What counts as child abandonment

Child abandonment means leaving a child without proper care or supervision in a way that exposes them to harm, with no clear intention of returning. It does not have to mean walking out for good: a parent who repeatedly leaves a young child alone overnight, or disappears for days at a time, can fall within the same legal territory.

Two pieces of legislation sit at the heart of this area. The Children and Young Persons Act 1933 deals with the criminal side, while the Children Act 1989 sets out the wider child protection framework used by the police, local authorities and family courts. Section 1 of the 1933 Act makes it an offence for anyone aged 16 or over with responsibility for a child under that age to wilfully assault, ill-treat, neglect, abandon or expose them in a way likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health.

There is no fixed legal age below which a child cannot be left at home alone. The NSPCC suggests children under about 12 are rarely mature enough to be left for long, and that infants should never be left without an adult. The test courts apply is whether the child was put at risk, not whether a specific age threshold was crossed.

Cases often come to light when neighbours, teachers or police notice something is wrong: a child wandering the streets at odd hours, turning up at school hungry or in dirty clothes, or knocking on doors asking where their parent has gone.

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What happens when an abandoned child is found

The first priority is immediate safety. Under section 46 of the Children Act 1989, police can take a child into police protection for up to 72 hours where they have reasonable cause to believe the child would otherwise be at risk of significant harm. Children's services at the local authority will then become involved quickly.

Social workers will try to trace another relative, usually a grandparent, aunt, uncle or older sibling, who can step in. Placing a child with extended family is preferred where safe and practical, and this can be formalised later through a special guardianship order or child arrangements order.

Where no suitable family member can be found, the child is likely to be placed in local authority foster care. If the parent does not return, the local authority may apply to the family court for a care order. In the most serious cases, where reunification is not realistic, the court can eventually consider a placement order leading to adoption.

For more on how the family courts handle these situations, see our guides to care proceedings and parental responsibility.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Penalties for the parent

An offence under section 1 of the 1933 Act can be tried in the magistrates' court or Crown Court. The maximum sentence on indictment is 10 years' imprisonment, although the actual sentence depends on the circumstances, the child's age, how long they were left, and the level of harm or risk involved.

The Crown Prosecution Service and courts will consider what was happening in the parent's life at the time. Mitigating factors might include serious mental illness, recent bereavement, domestic abuse, addiction or relationship breakdown. None of these excuse leaving a child at risk, but they can affect both charging decisions and sentencing.

A custodial sentence is most likely where a child was left in genuine danger, was very young, or where the abandonment was deliberate and prolonged. In less serious cases, a community order with requirements such as parenting programmes, mental health treatment or supervised contact may be used instead.

Getting help before crisis point

Removal from a parent is not always permanent. Where there is a realistic prospect of the parent coping again, children's services will usually put a plan in place: counselling, parenting classes, help with housing or debt, treatment for substance misuse, and gradual supervised contact. The family court will only support reunification if satisfied the child will be safe.

Parents who feel they are at breaking point are far better off asking for help than walking away. None of these services can promise total confidentiality if a child appears at risk of harm, since they may have a duty to pass that on:

Your local authority's early help team can arrange practical assistance with housing, finances and family support.
Your GP can refer you for mental health treatment and point you towards local services.
Family Lives runs a free helpline and online chat for parents under pressure.
The NSPCC helpline takes calls from adults worried about a child, including their own situation.
Samaritans are available around the clock for anyone in emotional distress.

If you are worried a child nearby has been left alone or is being neglected, contact your local council's children's services, the NSPCC, or the police on 101. In an emergency where a child appears in immediate danger, call 999.

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120 questions

Ask Law and Parents a Question

LawAndParents Editor 17/05/2026 at 1:28 pm

@Private This is a really difficult situation and I'm sorry your friend went through it. Realistically, suing for child abandonment isn't straightforward in the UK. Child neglect and abandonment are criminal matters dealt with by the police and social services, not civil claims, so she can't really "sue" in the way you might think. She could report it to the police even now, as there's no time limit on reporting historic neglect, but compensation through that route is unlikely.

Private 14/09/2024 at 1:09 pm

I have a friend who was abandoned when she was 18 and her 2 sisters were 17 & 8. She couldn’t afford to live on her own nor could she look after her sisters. She and the 17 year old sister were both forced to live with their boyfriends which lead to other parents feeding them. The younger one was put into child care.

Can she sue for child abandonment?

Kelo 12/02/2024 at 12:05 am

I was scouting at an u15 football match for a Professional Football Club.
The Manager of the Away team got sent of and left, leaving 3 players without a lift home. They told me the lived in my Town some 7 miles away from a Remote Moorland Location. So i gave them a lift as they had no means oe money to get ome.

RB 05/10/2023 at 2:43 pm

Dear,

I am helping a friend prepare a case of child abandonment in England. In what laws can I find what's written on this page? Are there any specific laws cited here?

Thank you.

Sophie 01/01/2023 at 3:25 am

My dad abandoned me when I was 11. I was absolutely heartbroken When he never even bothered to contact me in any way. (He also refused to pay child support so I’m not sure if I gain money from that or not) I also had a younger half sister which I adored, but I haven’t seen her for 6 years. I turn 18 later this year in october, and im planning to sue or even put my dad (and stepmum since me and my family members think that she’s behind the reason why my dad abandoned me) in prison. All I just want is an apology. And I need Justice since my mental health has dropped low ever since he abandoned me. I would not wish this pain onto anyone.

Lynpy pops 21/04/2022 at 9:54 am

My Son, his American wife and daughter moved back to England in May 2021. They lived with us but after five months my Daughter in Law decided she doesnt want to be married or live in England any more . She has been diagnosed with personality disorder. She went back to America on her own in October 2021 and left her daughter with my son.
She has now decided that she wants her daughter full time in America . She has not paid anything to my son as in maintenence.
Where does my son stand as he wants his daughter with him

Nikki 21/03/2021 at 1:06 pm

My ex husband and I are separated. We have been separated since my son was 2. He is now 8 and a half and has had no contact with his biological father since he was 3. So 5 and a half years with nothing, no csa payments, no calls, no visits.
I don't know where my ex is currently living and so can't even divorce him.
He is/was mentally, emotionally and financially abusive with anger issues.
My son still has his bio fathers surname and i want to change it to my maiden name.

I am really struggling to find out what my options are. I really do not want him coming back into our lives due to the abuse. What can I do?!

Please help!!

Charl 12/03/2021 at 10:46 am

Hi,
My son is 5. He hasn't seen his real dad since he was 2. Prior to that he was in and out of his life for 9 months then came back then went off again for another 8-9months he went to live elsewhere. I kept contact with his family so my child had his nan in his life, se would have him weekly and pop in for tea, then when her son moved back she just used him for contact and didn't contact myself. I asked her to be there when he had my son because I was told he had a very bad cociane problem just before I found out I was pregnant. Quite afew issues there, he even lost contact with his brother for the same reasons, people after him for money, stole a car and lived with a girlfriend who's friend contacted me for the concerns of my sons welfare as he came to see him one weekend, she said he had been living in a car before he met her which I knew about . He paid on and off for afew months for him. I got in contact with mediation so we could do supervised visits but he didn't even manage to do that! He will randomly call years apart and there is a pattern in how the calls will go, obviously this is all my fault not his! .i have tried everywhere possible for them to have a relationship. No one sees my child on his side anymore. I'm just worried if anything happened to me where would he go. He lives with myself, my partner who he calls dad (he is aware he has a dad that made him, he was not made to call him that he began it by himself we never wanted to correct him if that's what he wanted and felt comfortable doing) he has a baby brother too. I just worry if I died his whole life would be tipped upside down, moved in with people he does not know, not living with his family, going to his school and just general life. Isn't 2 and a half years or so length of time classed as abandonment?Everytime I have tried he lets my son down, he is 5 now I had all the questions I want him secure and happy which he is and I dread to think what could happen, how his little life could be turned upside down if I was not here!

Sue 17/02/2021 at 9:11 pm

My child and I are living with my boyfriend’s parents. I’m 18 and he’s 17 and our daughter is 3 months old. His dad is making it extremely hard to live there and if I leave I can’t take my daughter with me because I was manipulated by his dad into signing paperwork saying I can’t take her. Since my boyfriend is a minor and his dad is very good at ruining people’s lives, what kind of charges can his dad hold against me for leaving my child at their house while I go start another life for me and her? He always threatens that he is going to do everything in his power to make sure I don’t have her and it starts by calling my job to have me fired, taking all of my money, and taking my daughter.

RDEE 30/07/2020 at 5:40 pm

Hiya,

My neighbours grandson has been abandoned by both his parents and has no other family that he can live with.

He has just finished high school and he now facing homelessness.

We called places where they can provide emergency housing but all that’s been suggested is that he moves back with his parents.

There are issues with his parents mental health and the reason for why he left but also his parents wanted him to “suffer” for what his done wrong.

What help could he get?

LML 17/07/2020 at 9:59 am

My ex has not seen my daughter since she was 6 weeks old she is now 9. He wouldn’t give her back when she was small so then I went and got a solicitor involved for supervised visits. He did not respond he then moved away to Australia for 3-4 years with a new partner and avoided CSA payments. I am now with someone and have been for the last 8 years and he’s been a father to my daughter. Now we want him on the birth certificate so he has rights to my daughter also and if there was anything ever to happen to me that she would be able to stay in our home with him and her brother which is also what my 9 year old wants but my ex won’t sign any forms to put this in place. What are my best options?

LL 16/07/2020 at 1:53 pm

Me and my ex both have parental responsibility but our 3 children live with me and my partner and their half brother. My ex has refused to pay maintenance for the past 4 months and he is now refusing to let the children stay with him while I take my baby son to Greece to meet his family and be baptised. I can't take all of the children with me because my ex refuses to allow them to have passports. If I leave the country while they're staying at his house could I be in trouble?

Jojo 08/06/2020 at 11:34 pm

Hi
My wife left me, with my 2 twin daughters, and presently staying in USA. For last 3 years me and my parents are looking after my daughters. She calls my daughters only on their birthdays. She demanded 45k £ after she walked away, saying she will never bother me again.
Now i am planning to move to Australia for good this winter. Recently i was contacted by my wife demanding for another 50k £, if i wants my daughters full custody and move with my daughters to Australia.
It's more then 3 years she never visited my daughters, and now she is claiming for more money. Please advise.
Jojo

Claire89 12/04/2019 at 10:08 am

Hi my childs father hasnt seen her since she was 2 as he took her from his mums care without permission, also hes been sent to prison for domestic violence on myself and is a regular drug user. I had to gobto court to get a residence order this was his chance to try get contact, he had to do a course for domestic violence perpotrators he failed! He blamed me for everything, i was not allowed direct contact by send letters and gifts but indirect contact which he still failed to keep up, he then got his mum to apply to the courts by this time my daughter was 4. They refused contact to her because she dropped herself in it that it was for her son, they gave her indirect contact to which she did once. My daughter is now 9 and my husband who has raised her since she was 2 wants to adopt her. He hasnt paid a penny in child msintenance he owes her over £7000. I dont want to start court proceedings if the court is going to give him another chance whichbi feel will happen i just need some advice.

nan 02/11/2018 at 1:01 pm

i am an approved carer for the local authority, for my 9 year old Grandson. Childrens services allowed Birth mother to take him abroad but when he returned he disclosed that his mother abandoned him in their apartment whilst she and her partner went out, he was distressed so went out to find them. I have reported this to childrens services, they have spoken to grandson who confirmed it all, they then spoke to mother but have not done anything about this, isn't this classed as abandonment? is this a criminal offense?

Nico 27/10/2018 at 10:14 am

Hi my partner has a 4 year old son, i have been Dad to him since he was 6 months after his mother and father split up. His father went through solicitors to set up a visitation plan but even then was seeing him intermittently until the age of 18 months then stopped all contact.
Can we apply to remove his parental responsibility?
If he makes contact to request visitation again can we refuse?

Jo 01/09/2018 at 5:22 pm

Hi we have an adopted son 6 years old. We have had severe threatening and physical behaviour from him since day 1 for 19 months now and recently he has threatened us on several occasions to kill us with a knife. Once he chased with one and another I stopped him going in drawer to get one. Social services were asked 4 weeks ago to remove him but we are still waiting and just found out that it as o my just been referred for a new placement to be found. We have heard about people giving social services 48 /72 hours warning to find the child a placement or they would be dropping g the child of at their office. Is this advisable to do, can't handle the physical violance anymore and can't wait for him to go.

Mum 18/08/2018 at 3:37 pm

My daughter is 6 next week, she’s only seen her dad once this year and that was down to me contacting him if he wanted to see her promised her he’d come down the week after and never turned up, he’s been like this for 4 years even before that he was never interested in her, I was told that I could say something about pleading abandonment but don’t really know anything about it

LawAndParents Editor 14/08/2018 at 2:50 pm

Why would you "not have a leg to stand on"? If the mother is feeling resentful of her son and you want him with you, is the answer not simple? A court would luck favourably on anything that is in the best interests of the child. You also consider apply for shared care. The courts will expect you to have attended mediation before applying for court so it's worth giving this a try. If your ex doesn't turn up at mediation, this will make it easier for you to progress this to court. For now, just keep hold of your son, reassure him that he will be fine and try to maintain some kind of routine in his life.

LawAndParents Editor 13/08/2018 at 2:28 pm

>It might be worth seeking advice from an organisation such as Family Rights Group who might be able to help more. Unless you have a full residence order or the SGO you're after, it might be a bit more complicated.

Bazinho 13/08/2018 at 10:04 am

My Portuguese wife's daughter had a baby in England and that baby has a British Birth Certificate.
Both parents left England, the father was here for the birth and a couple of weeks for her 1st birthday and that's it, his whereabouts are currently unknown.
Her mother went back to Portugal March 2017.
My wife, the babies grandmother and myself, her step grandfather, have an arrangement order that gives us responsibility for her and she has lived with us ever since. we have twice tried to obtain a British Passport and have been refused on the grounds that the the child is not a British Citizen.
We have been to court several time, once to obtain the Arrangement Order and twice to try and obtain an SGO. The last time we went to court the Judge amended the Arrangement Order as both parents had gone and we have responsibility for the child, which we are very happy about. All we want to do is obtain the said Passport.
We seem to be going around in circles.

T 02/08/2018 at 1:33 pm

Hi, I have been left in a situation I don't have answers to my ex partner has expressed countless times that she is growing resentful of our son (10) and they don't have the best relationship together. The situation is now his mother has left him with me for a week now with no contact to her son or me even after me texting her. I have been to Social work to seek advice and a family lawyer for the same and long story short is that I am told that I could have a lengthy court battle ahead of me which I may not win or we speak amicably and arrange access by both parents. The position I'm left with is that I know there is emotional abuse and that my son is really unhappy staying at his mothers house but I feel I don't have a leg to stand on and my sons feelings are not being taken seriously and feel this would have a real impact on his well being if he was forced to go and stay somewhere he feels makes him sad.

Jo 21/07/2018 at 12:04 am

Hi! I need some help..
My daughter is 4, her biological father (who IS on her birth certificate) hasn't had any contact with myself or my daughter and hasn't paid a penny since she was 11 months old, he hasn't tried at all to contact us, can this be classed as abandonment?
I am looking at my partner adopting her, we have been together for 3 years, & looking to get married, & she calls him dad , but I'm worried that her biological dad will not agree and sign the papers for adoption , he isn't a fit father and I was in a domestic abuse relationship with him... I was put into a refuge due to this. I have a residence order and an order to state no one can take her out of my care without permission (I cannot remember what this order is called)
I also have no idea where he is as he travels alot and moves around finding different girlfriends to live with just to have somewhere to live.
Thank you for your help.

snekysnek 09/07/2018 at 12:46 pm

My mum ignored me when I was a 5 yr old for her new boyfriend (now husband) and its kinda made me grow up different to other kids. as I grew up, I didn't receive much love from my parents and I wasn't allowed to be as free as any child should be. even now, a good decade later, im still not getting the love parents should give a child. is this a form of child abandonment or am I being overdramatic?

LawAndParents Editor 15/05/2018 at 10:47 am

You could ask for more contact or even a residency order if you think that is in your son's best interests. If your ex is not willing to agree, you will need to try mediation and then if no agreement can be reached there apply to the courts for the order.

one of the good dads 11/05/2018 at 7:30 am

I've been separated from my sons mum for over 5 years, never missing a single payment or failing to show up on the time, I see my boy twice for sleep overs in the week then every other weekend. I now live my new fiancé and were due to get married next year, she's a wonderful influence on my sons life and they have a superb bond. My Ex ( aged 27) still lives at home with her parents and recently in the last year has been going out the country (without letting me know) , going out to party's leaving my son with her parents ( his grandparents) am I wrong in thinking this is total lack of responsibility? I have tried to talk to her about it but I get the door closed in my face. I would bend over backwards to have my son more, and have offered to have him extra so she can go out and live her life how she wants too. we recently had to go to hospital with him and he required a operation ( his first one aged 7) and within 5 minutes of us being told about his operation, all she was bothered about was missing her Hair appointment!!! During his stay at hospital, every occasion where only one parent was allowed in the room, I took a step back and offered it to his mum, but every time he would push her away and demand me to be with him and me only. What can I do?

Smiglet 30/04/2018 at 7:00 pm

I am being threatened with abandonment if I don't take my violent sucidle daughter home.. she attacked me and her younger sister after smashing the place uo. I have been asking for help for 6 months. CAHMS have been involved but no change if anything she is worse. She is currently staying with her friend (she is 15) and refusing to come home and i need to keep myself and my younger daughter safe! They haven't seen my troubled daughter but have made an assessment that she will be coming home despite the fact I am powerless to keep all three of us safe. The social worker hardly gets in touch and when she does it's via text.
I really don't know what to do

Tahle 22/03/2018 at 3:36 am

My daughter left me her 14 month old 10 years ago never came back doesn't care about her or to visit her I have had her ever since what legally rights do I have
My granddaughter is now going to be 11 years old

Mom3 14/03/2018 at 11:21 pm

My son was at school and got sick and the school tried contacting me and my ex-husband and we were both either in meetings or in class and it was 2 or 3 hours before we could call the school back. The principal threatened us that it was child abandonment and that she was going to call DHS if we didn't come and pick him up right away. Is she right? We live in Oregon County School

LawAndParents Editor 13/02/2018 at 3:36 pm

You haven't said how old your children were? What has the baby sitter said? Sorry there's not enough information for us to comment really.

Yamyam 12/02/2018 at 5:57 pm

I was accused of child abandonment how do I prove that I did not abandon my children, I went yo work before the baby sitter reached my home she was 2 minutes away but wanted to get a bread before reaching my home

LawAndParents Editor 12/02/2018 at 1:55 pm

It might be worth trying to get some individual advice from an organisation like Family Lives. Their helpline is at FamilyLives.org.uk

LawAndParents Editor 12/02/2018 at 10:23 am

Would it be easier to simply provide a loving, supportive home with you for the time being. Assure him that you will help to resolve the problem and offer help to repair the relationship with the mother in any way you can. Try Citizens' Advice for local organisations that can mediate or help with situations like that. We're sorry we can't offer any more concrete advice than this. Please do let us know how you get on. If any readers have experienced this please do post here.

Lugia 09/02/2018 at 10:08 pm

I left my 10 year old with a close friend of mine while i try to clear my head and get my place in order social brought an abandonment order on me what can i do

Kala 09/02/2018 at 12:50 pm

As my previous question of partners child left for 4/5 weeks. My partner has decided to take his boy back to his mother, we are not seeming to help the situation !
The mother will not talk on the phone to the boy and he is very distressed !
I'm hoping this will bring the situation to a head. We have been into school but have Been offered no help they are not willing to open up a meeting between mother and my partner !
This situation is awful for the boy and he is very distressed I have contacted social services in rochdale but they have offered nothing but a phone number !
I'm afraid she will actually say to the boy that she doesn't want him !
I think he will end up doing something silly !

LawAndParents Editor 07/02/2018 at 3:26 pm

Is he at school? Can you talk to welfare staff/tutor etc? They often know of resources that are available in situations like this. 14 year old boys can be difficult to cope with as a mother/single parent and he may not realise the impact of his behaviour etc.

Kala 07/02/2018 at 7:51 am

My partners boy was dropped off 4 weeks ago all we have gotten from the mother is abusive text ! The child is in bits he and my partner have had little or no contact for the last 14 years he is 15 now, mother and son are not communicating well and she is playing mind games with him , and it's just making the boy withdrawn and very sad, I'm concerned for his mental health ! I have contacted social services and all they did was give me a phone number ... his mother will not go to mediation!
Can I force the issue, can I take the boy back to his mum ? In the hope that it will make them talk !

LawAndParents Editor 05/02/2018 at 2:13 pm

No, you would have to apply to the courts and tell them that he has no contact/you don't know his whereabouts etc.

Kimberley 02/02/2018 at 8:46 pm

My daughter’s father hasn’t seen her for 3 years. The last conversation I had with him was him telling me he didn’t want to see her anymore. I haven’t spoken to him since. He doesn’t pay maintenance (which I don’t want). He is on her birth certificate as her father. Is there a point when he loses his rights? She has his surname, I would like to chnage it back to mine but I know if I asked he would say no out of spite and to be difficult. Is there a point when he no longer has rights and I can do this without his permission?

Thanks

Sara 22/01/2018 at 2:49 pm

9 years ago my ex left to go on holiday for a week said bye to the children aged 12,4,3 and said he see them the following week, however he never did, he moved abroad and hasn’t seen the kids since, he made his brother power of attorney over our joint house,after a lot of hassle his sister had him sign a form to say that he is only entitled to X amount out of house and no more,he has never paid a penny towards house or children. For the past 9 years I have saved and tried buying him out, also put house on market got a buyer and the brother argued and messed about till the buyer lost interest, i then took on a 2nd job so I could go back to Bank and be allowed to take mortgage on by myself, I got it last March and since then they have said their going to sign it over but haven’t and have now stopped answering calls/letters from the conveyers, phoned a few solicitors with no good garentee of outcome in kids favour, I’m thinking about taking the brother to small claims court and sueing him for blocking every attempt to move on, any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

Stefan 21/01/2018 at 11:01 pm

Hi, I’m Stefan and I’m 16 atm, I used to live in Manchester UK, I’ve lived there for about 4years now, last Friday my mum told me I was goin to (x country) for a week bc I’m supposed to sign some papers because I’m originally from (x country) So obviously I answered with a sure , So she told me I was goin next day to a different country for a week, now I’m here in (x country) my auntie picked me up from the airport when I arrived , now my auntie is leaving , and my mum said she ain’t gonna bring me back , apparently I can’t leave my original country without my mum signing some documents to allow me to leave the country because I’m under 18, so now I see myself in a completely different country where I barely understand the language , without money ,or anything , I’m supposed to attend school as usual tomorrow in England , I’m in yr 11 on my last year with 4 months till my GCSEs and my mums abandoned me here, she said there are a lot of orphans out there and homeless people out there so I should manage too , she was the only parent I had bc my dad died when I was 3 months old , so now my life’s ruined , I lost all my studies , I lost my home , I lost my mum , I’ve lost everything and I can’t even be home

LawAndParents Editor 15/01/2018 at 2:57 pm

No unfortunately there is not much that can be done here unless you can get someone else to talk to him and get him to see the effect his behaviour is having on his children.

Kiyara 12/01/2018 at 5:20 pm

I’m 31 years old and my husband whom now I am separated to is 35 years old , this is kind of a different view than I think others have stated , but I have 2 daughters 2-3 years old whom are in my full care and I would cross mountains for them both , their father cheated with many woman and I asked for a divorce and he moved out on the agreement that he would keep his children at the top of his priorities , and yet he comes and goes as he likes mentally hurting his daughters but his 3 year old has been mostly effected , last time he seen then he spent 3 different weekends with one daughter or the other never together and in a span of 6 months only that’s 6 visits in 6 months , my daughter asks for her dad all the time and her routine and sleep patterns become in organized when her dad does come and then leaves for a few months again , he’s not really working he’s on disability but is fully capable of bth mentally and physically maintaining a relationship with his kids , and yet he would rather the freedom without them , which is not fair to them it hurts them and in that it hurts me to see them be hurt by him emotionally , do they have any laws that can bring my daughters justice , it is child abandonment , even though I have them he should not be allowed to just neglect his duty and responsibilities as a father , we were married and not young either , I was 28 he was 32 he knew kids would be in the marriage at a point if I could be charged with it , even though I could never leave their side then why can’t he even though I am fully taking care of them , I’m only asking because it breaks my heart to see my daughter even try to call her dad on the phone and he ignores every time .

Matt 06/01/2018 at 10:10 am

Hi ned so advise my bother went to see is kids what happen was I ex walk out on them when the were baby's so the family help he when to court and got a residence order anywhere he got by with her coz of the kids but they move away however she start going out all time roll in at 5am and stop out so he move back to mum he didn't take the kids coz they were happy in school etc (he put the kids first ) however he finds out she sill out all time and leve the with a man ( he not rite in the head big kid come to mine) she as had her old kid taken off her she live on the next road on from my mum house she lied to the court now say he can see them only on a Sunday at this place noing he work on them day he not had a job for over 17 year but he got a job for is kids were dose he sand it's killing him not see them and us as family all they family on both Sadi live 2 hours way

LawAndParents Editor 05/01/2018 at 12:02 pm

Contact social services yourself, explain what the issue is and tell them you want your children living back with you. If they are already involved, they should be able to tell you what happens next.

Joe 02/01/2018 at 10:47 pm

Hi there. We have had our children taken off from us by our friend who has now taken the law into her hands. Basically what happened was we had been going through a rough patch in our marriage and she thought that it was a good Idea to take the kids while we were sorting our life's out. So she has now involved the Social Services and also set up child protection meeting and in additional to that she's not letting us see our children. I need advice on what to do as now we are resolved but she's not letting the kids talk or see us. We have not received any non contact letters from the courts or anything. Please advise. Many thanks.

LawAndParents Editor 02/01/2018 at 11:24 am

Perhaps you could apply for a court order to have the children on a more permanent basis? CSA payments would be lower if you had the children overnight more regularly than every second Saturday so that might help with clothing etc. If the mother is neglecting the children as you suggest, then social services might be able to offer you some advice too.

Mik 24/12/2017 at 3:38 am

I had an arrangement with my expartner that my 3 chidren stay with me every second Saturday because I no longer have my own house and are living with my parents temporarily. My children will turn up on a day that they are not suppose to stay. Sometimes with no clothes . The mother will be contacted via phone several times and she will ignore the phone call, so my children will stay with me. On several occasions the children have been unable to contact their mother until Monday evening as a result they have missed school because they have no clothes and school uniform to go to school. The children will also turn up at my house in the week with no arrangements put in place. The unexpected visits are becoming an impediment because we have to postpone any plans to care for the children. I'm also paying CSA monthly and their does not use the money in the correct way so I have to keep buying the children items , bus fare, lunch money . Is this ongoing issues classed as abandonment

LawAndParents Editor 22/11/2017 at 2:48 pm

You will need to apply for an adoption order via the courts, but first you must inform your local authority of your wish to do. This needs to be done at least 3 months before applying to court. The social worker at the adoption agency (local authority) will carry out an assessment similar to a normal adoption which will be passed to the court. The assessment report will contain information about your partner, his child and the the mother.

Lisakitty 18/11/2017 at 7:41 pm

Hi, I really need help on this. My son is 16 and way out of control. In 2016 of December he assulted me and charges were filed to where he went to juvenile detention center. After that his dad took him because the judge released him to him solely. After my son was expelled from being in school up there his dad wanted to put him in job Corp. They were income based so I got tricked into signing the papers to enroll him. His dad has not had anything to do with him since and he has purposely gotten himself kicked out of job corp because my son thinks that he doesn't have to obey any rules whatsoever. I am a nervous wreck and I am on disability for being bi-polar as it is. They are now threatening me to come pick him up and if I don't they will file child abandonment charges on me! I am married but I will not have a place to live if I take him in again after all the turmoil and issues he had caused the last time he lived at our house. Not to mention that I have a 13 year old daughter I am taking care of too. I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and I am forced to take my son with me when he is threatening to me and my daughter. I will be living out of my car but if I let them file charges on me I go to jail so it a no win situation.

soccer 18/11/2017 at 2:45 pm

My husband has full sole custody of his daughter, the mother hasn't been in her life for 3 years and 3 months. I was wondering if i could file abandonment charges and im willing to take on the responsibilities for our daughter so i can adopted her. Will this be hard to do or not?

LawAndParents Editor 17/11/2017 at 2:50 pm

If the parents agree that you can have care of the children, you should be able to claim the Child Benefit and any Child Tax Credit (assuming your salary is within the limits). Would the parents be prepared to contribute?

Nana 16/11/2017 at 5:52 pm

hello,
My son and his girlfriend were staying at my home. They have 2 children and just last week the mother has left and has not tried to come back. My son keeps saying that he doesn't want his children. They are 3 years old and 6 months. I want to take care of them myself but my financial situation is not good. I work a good job with good pay but I have a lot of expenses that I need to take care of. How can I get help if I chose to take care of them?

emz 24/10/2017 at 10:16 am

Mt husband has two children to another girl they are ages 13 and 8 years old. we hhad them three nights per week and she has now cut it to 1 night per week. their father has an active role both emotionally and financially in their lives. can we request that he has them 3 nights per week again or has he no rights at all.

Wkirby2 16/10/2017 at 6:59 pm

Okay, so I’m not a parent, but I am an uncle and am worried for a situation involving my mother and my nephew.
Neither parent seems to care for the child and all all responsibility has fallen upon my mother - but she has no legal rights to co sent to anything etc.
The school that my nephew goes to is currently attacking her (she’s an employee there) saying that she is the cause of his bad behaviour and making changes to his routine that other children of staff can follow fine. It got a bit much for her the other day and she left without him (fully intent on going back once she had calmed down), and has just been told that if this happens again, she could be charged with abandonment.
The school has the contact details for the father.

Based on the above information, could she be charged with abandonment or would this not hold up in court? Is there any advice that you could give, hopefully avoiding court ourselves, as we don’t have the money for it, and truly care for the child, especially as we’ve been looking after him (or having him living with us, along with his mother) since he was born.

Many thanks,

LawAndParents Editor 11/10/2017 at 10:48 am

You should try and resolve this via mediation. If you're unsure of the mother's fitness to parent your child and want to consider a firmer contact arrangement or shared/full residency, you should apply to court using court form C100. The courts may order a CAFCASS report to assess your son's/family circumstances.

LawAndParents Editor 10/10/2017 at 10:16 am

What obligation? financial support? Contact? Sorry it's not clear.

AN GOOD FATHER 09/10/2017 at 7:17 pm

hello i am a father who sees his child every week at least once a week and every other weekend, if i can have him more i will, as work allows it as i live alone and pay for every aspect of my life independently i need to work alot. i have always fulfilled my financhal responcabilitystowards my son and paid my ex partner more then is recomended with out fail. i have recently changed jobs and because i will have a gap in my wages i have had to deley a payment to my ex, because of this when i collected my son for an over night stay i was met with abuse and a bag full of cloths and told i will be taking him for the week, i am now not abel to work this week and it will effect my ability to not only pay any future child maintence but to also pay my own bills. my ex is a law on to her own and pics and chooses when i can see my child to what ever suits her. is this child abandoment she has a history with soical services do i have a legal stand point to force residentcy ti my home is this negelect can any one advise?

Shayne 07/10/2017 at 3:53 am

what will happen to the father if he does not comply his obligation especially we have a legal agreement but then he doesn't do his obligation?what case can i file against him?

LawAndParents Editor 04/10/2017 at 11:22 am

No, he has found childcare for the child not abandoned it.

Sms 02/10/2017 at 8:06 pm

Can a legal father who has full custody, leave his child with a girlfriend while he works out of town. He recently got a job as a truck driver and is gone for weeks at a time. Is this child abandonment?

LawAndParents Editor 27/09/2017 at 3:02 pm

We can't say whether an adoption would be granted. This is for the courts, together with your local authority children's services to decide.

LA 26/09/2017 at 8:29 am

My ex husband hasn't made any contact with me or the children for almost 12 months. He does not pay any child maintenance. Apart from a brief period of about 9 months (while he was in a relationship with a relatively stable woman) he has not seen or paid towards the children since we split in 2013.

He has 2 other children from other relationships, one has been adopted by her new step father and he has abandoned the other. His name is on my childrens birth certificate.

My fiance who has lived with us for over a year, has taken on the role of their father and we would like him to adopt them.

I believe my ex husband is now living abroad. If he is somehow tracked down and contests, will this prevent the adoption being granted?

keli 08/09/2017 at 12:47 pm

.hy im readin threw my care files and I come a cross a application for compensation for me and my brother who was abonded ..the claim was disallowed as."neglect of a child is not a crime of violence and hence dose not fall within the scheme.no award. Paragraph 4 (a) of the scheme refers."..??. That dosnt ring well to me..is this right..thank you

LawAndParents Editor 06/09/2017 at 2:35 pm

Is your partner's name on the birth certificate? If so he has parental responsibility and can apply for residency via the courts. If his name is not on the birth certificate but he is sure he is the biological father, he can apply to the courts for statutory declaration of parentage and therefore gain parental responsibility. He would then be able to apply for a residence order. Yes it's definitely worth contacting social services your step daughter is 16 or under.

Ad2017 05/09/2017 at 1:43 am

Hi
My stepdaughter has been staying with us for the past 6weeks. She was supposed to stay for a weekend but her mother vanished. We can't reach her at all. She decides when she wants to make contact with us or any other family members. Last time we heard about her she was getting married in another country. My partner and I have never been told about all her plans. Now school resume and we still don't know where she is. Her council flat is empty, her neighbors have not seen or heard from her for several weeks. Can my partner ask for full custody as thery were not married when the child was conceived? Should we involve social services ? The council? The police?,,,
Thanks for your help.

LawAndParents Editor 27/07/2017 at 12:47 pm

Speak to someone, there is help out there that you can consider before this step.Can you start by asking your health visitor for advice or your GP may be able refer you to organisations that might help. You could also try contact support organisations like Home Start Gingerbread or Family Lives

User 23/07/2017 at 9:30 pm

Can a parent out their child into care? Will social services allow it?
I can no longer cope and struggling severely. I have such negative feelings towards my child and as time progresses I am beginning to hate him.

Jlx 10/07/2017 at 8:33 pm

My daughters dad has been out
Of the picture not for nearly a year and a half could I get his rights terminated? I have no clue where he is and he has blocked me on all social media accounts and mobile numbers. We did mediation before and he failed to show up I have messages from a year an a half ago stating he was going to kill me and threatining behaviour. What can I do??? Please help.
He IS on the birth certificate and she has his last name. I want this changed if possible

LawAndParents Editor 05/07/2017 at 11:59 am

You will need to apply directly to the General Register Office. If you can prove that you do not know the whereabouts of your son's father they may be willing to do it without a court order. If a court order is needed it is form C100.

Lucille 04/07/2017 at 5:19 pm

Hi I'm wanting to change my son's name his dad has not seen him for nearly 8 years and to do it by deed poll I still need his dad's consent is there any other way I can do this thank you

LawAndParents Editor 03/07/2017 at 2:48 pm

You can arrange for a Parental Responsibility Agreement to be signed you and the children's mother.

Amar 03/07/2017 at 10:27 am

Hi my name is amarjeet i am 17 yrs old i am facing problems with family. They dont behave gud with me. They always prefer my small brother as a gud one and better one. I am being neglicted. He is small but he is strongerthnme so he tease bully me and parents take his side .whenever they are talking ,if i come they stop talking and say let him go. They dint treat me as a family.i dont want to live with them.

Jobin 03/07/2017 at 9:58 am

Hi,
I recently lost my son and his ex-girlfriend struggles to raise our grandchildren by her self.
She has agreed to me helping her, as I always have and we often have them overnight and for holidays etc.
What is the best way forward - could I get joint parental responsibility with her consent?
I'm not looking for them to live with me - just to safeguard them should anything happen.

meem 21/06/2017 at 6:41 pm

My Son was shared 50 50 with my ex until I found 9 caught him out) that he had left him at home alone aged 6. My son was ill in bed at the time. I took my son home and through mediation after a year my ex sees him every other weekend in supervised situations and in public spaces such as cinemas, bowling , parks and playdates with other families. Never overnight! It came to light that the incident was one of many times my Son had been left on his own and I am not sure how young he was when it first happened. I have been amicable for my sons sake but now I have been hit once more with a letter from a solicitor wanting everything to go back to 50/50. I never got a reason for him leaving him alone other than him being a bit depressed. I am not prepared for things to go back to shared custody until Tom is old enough to be left alone and make his own decisions. Will I have to go though court to make this happen. I feel I have already let him have so much as in most break ups the custody is not 50/50 and every fortnight is a norm.

Kkl81 30/05/2017 at 8:29 pm

Hi my step son has been staying with us this weekend and he was supposed to be collected on Monday but his mother asked for us to have him one more day. We agreed to this but now his mother has vanished we can't get intouch with her and she hasnt turned up to collect her son. We haven't heard from her since Friday when she dropped him off and was more concerned about getting drunk this weekend then anything else. We're do we stand as I can't keep dropping hours in work as and when it suits her to come for her child.

LawAndParents Editor 22/05/2017 at 12:34 pm

Most children lose the right to support from their parents at the age of 16 or 18 if they're studying up to A level standard. After that they are adults.

Reethu 21/05/2017 at 2:05 pm

My daughter has fallen in love we don't like the guy but now she is graduating in a college she 21 years old and if we sent her out of the house what rights she can claim from us. she says she won't get married untill she finish studying .if we sent her out if she doesn't listen to our words do we have to pay for her education untill she is married.And can she claim the rights in my self accquired property while i am alive for her education

Lacey 12/05/2017 at 8:48 pm

What can be done to redress the situation of children who are abandoned abroad by their single parent mother. without the awareness of social services. What can be done if the situation is either historic or in the present?

LawAndParents Editor 03/05/2017 at 2:06 pm

You can apply to the courts for a special guardianship order. This order will appoint you to be your grandson's 'special guardian' under the Children Act 1989. This kind of order is for children who would benefit from a more stable/legally secure living arrangement. Your grandson's parents would have to apply to the courts if they wanted to discharge the order.

lyns 03/05/2017 at 2:28 am

hi i need advice i have my 4 year old grandson with me he has lived with me since 6 months old father has seen him for 20 mins in the last 2 years and his mum seen him once from 2015-2016 how do i go about being his legal guardian

LawAndParents Editor 31/03/2017 at 12:39 pm

Not really. But you could make your own records - note down times and date, film vacant house when you arrive (include date with all footage), keep copies of text conversations with your step daughter's mother etc. That way when you apply for 50/50 residency via a court order, they will have some evidence to look at.

Concernedstepmum 30/03/2017 at 5:49 pm

Hi could you offer some advice please?My step daughter (7)'s mum has a self appointed schedule of care (55/45) split in her favour and has set the schedule herself however, she refuses to actually stick to it. It is mainly for child support purposes that she has it set out. Sometimes when we go to take sd to her mum's for drop off in her days, she simply won't be there as she has made other plans and is usually out with friends somewhere and so we have to cancel our plans and look after sd. We absolutely want sd 50/50 so we are happy to have her more but would like it to be in an official capacity and therefore would like to document it somehow that she is not caring for her daughter the amount of times she says she does. Both for evidence for the cms and for future custody hearings. She is likely to do this this coming Sunday. Is there someone we can report it to if she is missing at the agreed time of drop off? So that it is on record?Many thanks

LawAndParents Editor 27/03/2017 at 10:27 am

No, he cannot adopt her unless the father consents and is willing to give up his parental responsibility rights.

Redwolf26694 25/03/2017 at 1:05 am

Hello everyone, i need some advice please. My daughter was born in august 2015 and her father left us in march 2016 to pursue a relationship with an 18 year old co-worker. for the first few months he made some effort to keep in contact with my little girl but gradually became less and less, until i met my current partner to whom I'm now happily engaged and expecting baby number 2! we moved in with him in may 2016 which is a fair distance from where my daughter's biological father lives (about an hour and a half - two hour drive) since moving he has practically ceased all contact, we have lived here almost a year and he has visited once. My current partner absolutely adores my little girl and wants more than anything to adopt her. He does everything for her and she loves him like her daddy (she doesn't know or recognize her biological father) I know that my ex will not willingly give up parental rights even though he makes no effort. He doesn't even pay child maintenance. Is there a way that we can have my partner adopt her? I just want to giver her a happy home that is completely secure! Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated! Thankyou x

LawAndParents Editor 14/03/2017 at 11:47 am

Seek legal advice, you may be able to apply for a special guardianship order or similar. Are social services involved? If so, they may be able to advise.

PawPaw 12/03/2017 at 7:50 am

My wife of 14 years and I have had our three grandchildren (ages 5, 8 & 10) in our care for almost one year now. Our daughter has been using drugs and excessively drinking. Due to this, she is unable to keep a job or suitable home for the children. She left them with us in order to "get her life back together." She has done the opposite. She has been bouncing around from place to place partying instead of getting back on track. It is now apparent the she has chosen to run free instead of take the responsibility of her children seriously. She sees the children occasionally. Sometimes there is contact for a couple hours once a week. Sometimes there is no contact for a month at a time. My wife and I were happy to have the grandchildren with us so that they were and are safe and taken care of. We never gained custody or guardianship of the children. We just wanted to look after them and enjoy their company. Our daughter was next door (we own two houses) yesterday because she has nowhere else to go. She decided to get drunk and was told by the police last night to leave the area because she was belligerent and drunk. She was very aggressive and verbally abusive with everyone she came in contact with, including the police. When she left it was quite a scene. Now she has stated that she wants to take the children to live with her. However, she does not have anywhere suitable to go herself. How do I protect our grandchildren from her angry and drunken bad choices that put them in harms way?

Special dad 29/01/2017 at 6:24 pm

Hi 8 years ago I had to take my ex girlfriend to court after she stopped me from seeing my 2 children and my step daughter (I had been in her life for 8 yrs prior to the split) during the court case social service spoke with me to discuss the 3 children to come to live with me and my then girlfriend of 3 years, of course I went with it and 6 years ago the judge said that the children were to live with me the children's mother refused to attend court and moved on with her life and moved to another part of the country (the children felt like she had gone to another world) the problem I am having is that I am the only one named in the court order and even though I married my girlfriend she has no rights to PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY yes its a big word it's a big deal for us
Me and my eldest (step child) had a car accident and I had to give up my right to treatment so I could sign the permissions for the paramedics to treat her in the ambulance now a year later I am suffering from the fact that I wasn't treated for hours later
If my wife had PR I wouldn't be suffering simply because of the mother who disappeared all them years ago and my wife has no rights over the children who she nurses when ill and hugs them when they are sad feeds them clothes them
The law is a load of people who don't know what real life is
If I want my wife to have PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY I have to pay £1000's to go to court and get a new court order so my wife is legally allowed to sign a school permission slip or to go to the doctors and give permission for treatment or medication
The mother has gotten away with financial responsibilities and still has PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY for children she clearly does not care about or has no interest in
Why is there a law that if a person has abandoned their child after so many years they should loss any rights to the child and the other parent should be able to choose who could have parental responsibility ie a step parent without having to go to court
If I died what would happen to my children would I have to name my wife to have the responsibility of the children?

Hunt 23/01/2017 at 7:55 am

Idk if you guys still respond to comments but I am completing a project for Social Studies, grade 11 and I would like to know if it is a legal offense to abandon a child

FH 06/10/2016 at 4:11 pm

Hi there, my boyfriend's ex lost her council house (?!) in June and asked for her two children to live with us for the rest of the school term. She took them to her mum's, who lives in a different city a few hours away, for the summer and brought them back for the start of school (they missed the first week as we had already booked a holiday). She doesn't seem to have made any plans re new housing or getting a job and won't answer any questions asked. The eldest child is 13, but isn't my boyfriend's child although he sees him as his dad, and has now been in our care for more than 28 days having not spent more than a continuous 7 hours in her care. She could easily move back in with her mum and sort new schools out for the boys, but is living with a new boyfriend in this city. What do we do in this situation?

Alice 02/10/2016 at 3:29 am

Hi I am 17 and my mom refuses to take any care for me what so ever. She removed all my belongings from her house and basically told me good luck. I know I am almost legally of age but is there still any way right now I can use the child abandonment law against her until I'm 17

googoo 25/09/2016 at 9:47 pm

My 14 year old grand daughter has been told by her mother she doesn't want her anymore, she is staying at our home. A social worker has been in correspondence with the mother but there has been no contact with child or her father. The case has been on going for almost three weeks. My grand daughter has been physically abused, emotionally, mentally, verbally, not allowed to bathe/shower etc, she regally smokes pot and amphetamines

Margo 15/09/2016 at 9:38 pm

Hi
Please I need some advices and help
My ex boyfriend left me pregnant and he abandoned me and his child .
We never been married and we are different nationalities. I decided to make he pay for his lies..
I want he to support and help me with some money to grow my daughter.
What I should do ?
What are the steps to start this process?
How is the best to do everything right and by low ?

Sincerely
Margo

LawAndParents Editor 12/09/2016 at 2:35 pm

Unfortunately not. There is nothing in a law that can force a father to maintain contact with his children if he chooses not to.

catsi 09/09/2016 at 11:37 pm

My ex husband left me and our four children for another girl nineteen years ago he never bothered with our children who are now in their late twenties our daughter is fine but our three sons are really messed up they have been in and out of prison and have also turned to drugs ive tried my best but when they have tried to contact him he has had no time for them i really feel that his abandonment has affected my sons and i think he is mostly to blame for the way they have turned out is there any law that can make him pay for this?

Frustrated 29/08/2016 at 2:54 pm

We are an expatriate British family living and working on an island in the South Pacific to where I accepted a three year work transfer in 2014.

I have two daughters. The younger attends our local international school and the elder, who turns 18 in October, is in her final year at boarding school in New Zealand.

I know this sounds absolutely horrible and it breaks my heart but I do not want my elder back after she has completed her schooling in November.

As she will then be 18 years old would I still be liable to any form of prosecution in New Zealand (even though I am not living there) or after we return to the UK if I 'abandon' her in New Zealand after she has completed her schooling?

LawAndParents Editor 17/08/2016 at 12:12 pm

You could contact the social services? Or the police.

Jason T 16/08/2016 at 4:28 pm

Hi, my brother's girlfriend leaves her child at our house without our permission and picks him up usually around 12 to 16ish hours later than when she told her son she would pick him up.

She knows her and her son are not welcome but she still leaves her son and drives off and turns off her phone so we can't call her or send him back.

What can I have done to stop this from happening?

LawAndParents Editor 15/08/2016 at 11:46 am

If this happens, you should call the police and wait for them - do not take the child anywhere with you.

Nancy 12/08/2016 at 9:52 am

I found an abandoned small child walking by herself in the road late in the evening?

Step-parent 05/03/2016 at 7:42 pm

Hi. My step-daughter is wanting to take my name and rid herself of her bio-fathers name. He knows where we live yet has failed to make contact with my step-daughter in over 3yrs.

We have attempted in the past to change her name yet the courts would not allow this as he is on her birth certificate and he would not give permission, since then he has not had any contact with her.

I have heard of the 'Abandonment' law and wonder if this applies in this case and would we be able to proceed without his consent.

Shubba 20/02/2016 at 3:21 pm

I have a daughter with my ex who is now married. Please note that me and my ex were not married.
She is now marries and her husband is wanting to adopt my daughter which I'm all for. What type of routes can they go down and also will him adopting her remove all legal and financial responsibility

Jojo 12/02/2016 at 3:54 pm

Hi I have a son that was once placed in foster care. The father and i worked hard to get him placed back into our custody. But the father couldn't stay clean. So i left him ,after the split he didn't communicate to social services and the courts and never visited our son .I eventually got granted custody back of my son and as for the father they put down abandonment... does he have any rights and can he take me to court

charlie 11/01/2016 at 2:50 pm

my wife and i separated over a year ago, there were a number of reasons for this but one of the reasons had been that she had a mental breakdown due to her son, my step son, sexually molesting our daughter. Our daughter was 4 at the time and my stepson was 12. after we separated my stepson ended up living with me, social services were involved and a child protection plan was put in place. one of the conditions was that he was not to be allowed around the children unsupervised, which goes without question.
However, my stepsons behaviour has become more and more unruly, and he has been permanently excluded from school and he has started smoking cannabis. He has shown violent and aggresive behaviour towards others, and this has strained mine and his relationship with each other to breaking point. I informed social services that this was the case and that my mental health had suffered and that i felt no longer able to have him in my care any longer. They said that they would need to have an edge of care meeting to see what support they could offer to prevent him becoming a looked after child. However, I told therm that i didnt think that it was a good idea that he remained in my home as there had been a violent confrontation between him and myself and that i did not want this to end up worse. they then went on to contact his mother saying that she would need to provide alternative accommodation for him. She informed them that there was no other family member who was willing to take him in because of his behaviour, and that she did not think it was appropriate to have him at home with her and the other children for the same reason. Social services went on to tell her that if she did not provide alternative accommodation for him they would have to prosecute her for child abandonment. could you advise us about this as i feel as though i have been forced into a difficult position

LawAndParents Editor 11/01/2016 at 12:10 pm

The social services/police would usually be involved in this kind of circumstance. If the grandmother is happy to care for the child and the mother is seeking help, then as the childminder you do not any other responsibility.

doozer 10/01/2016 at 12:42 am

Hi. Firstly I must explain I am a childminder. One of my minded children has recently basically been dumped by his mother, but with the child's grandmother. This happened 10 days ago. The child was left to enter the house and mum drove off. There has since been no communication. Refusal to answer door or phone. We have discovered where she is and who with but she seems to have had some sort of breakdown? Certainly is obviously unable to cope. Is this abandonment? How to react? I am trying to work closely with the grandparents involved. Any advice please.

LawAndParents Editor 08/12/2015 at 11:13 am

If he has nowhere to go or has been the victim of abuse from his parents, phoning an organisation like Childline might help.

Seeking help 07/12/2015 at 1:52 pm

Hi! I don't know much about laws in the UK, since I personally live in another countre and I haven't lived in UK ever, but i have a friend there and I really want to help him out. He is really close to me despites the fact that we have hundreds of kilometers distance and have never met. Long story. But anyways. Let's say his name is John. So John was home alone when a police came knocking the door and told there was a criminal on loose around and they would do a search around the street. Of course John locked the doors, took a knife just in case to protect himself and went upstairs. A while later he saw a guy ouside near their house and of course called the cops and hid. What else would've he done? Soon cops came and caught the guu amd announced it's all okay now. In the evening John's mother came and he told what had happened. John's mother became mad at him and told he should've went downstairs and protect the house, saying "what if the guy would've came in and stole something valuable". So apparently John's life wasnt valuable since the guy was dangerous. She also used names 'worthless' and 'coward' during their fight, which based on what I've read can be taken as emotional violence. next day John's mother had told it to John's dad and they told they don't want John back home and that his mother had already packed a bag for John.

Plese, what should John do at this situation, and are there any sort of kids' shelters in the UK? And how can a child under 18 do anything about this? I know he can't sue her and mother would only make her more mad? It feels really bad because of the distance I can't do anything about it.

LawAndParents Editor 06/10/2015 at 1:58 pm

You will need to get the consent of the father in order to change the children's names. If he is unwilling to agree (and you must try and get this before proceeding), then you should apply for a specific issue order via court form C100.

joanne 05/10/2015 at 7:24 pm

Hi there. My husband left me and my 3 kids over 4 years ago and hasn't had any contact what so ever, I'm with a new partner now and a new baby and my other children want to take his name, I'm just wondering what rights my husband has if any. Thanks

LawAndParents Editor 03/09/2015 at 12:05 pm

Is there any other family who can help out here? Has he applied for housing that is suitable for the girls to be with him? He sounds as though he needs some kind of professional support here (that he's not getting from social services) - he should talk to Citizen's Advice or the girls' school welfare officer to see if there are any alternative suggestions that he has not considered.

mr deperates friend 02/09/2015 at 9:16 pm

I have a friend that is a single dad with 2 teenage girls, he has just split up from his girlfriend and has nothing not even a change of clothes, and is so emotionally distraught that he feels he cant care for his children.
social services have placed him in a B&B 40 miles away from there school and he is expected to get them there every day, he has no job!
the children do not want to live with him and cannot live with their mother (court order in place).
the girls are saying that they want to go into care and if he don't let them go they will run away, he has asked social services to take them but they are refusing saying that they have to stay with him. the kids don't want to and he really cant cope, I am worried that he will try to do something like try to take his own life just so the girls will be looked after properly, can he take the children to the social services office and leave them there in theory abandoning them, if so what will happen to him ?

LawAndParents Editor 18/08/2015 at 2:09 pm

Unfortunately you will need to seek official advice on this. Try the Foreign Office or Passport Office to start.

Raffy 18/08/2015 at 1:04 am

Hello, my name is Raffaella. I have lived in UK with my 2 boys for 2.5 years trying to maintain them with a job I found here. Never had child support from my ex who lives in Italy. Recently, I got my residency here and scheduled an appointment with the Italian consulate, so sent the passport forms to be signed to my ex-husband and he refused to sign them. I am the sole guardian for this children and since half of our family is in the States we need those passports to get to visit them. Is there a way I can bypass his father authority since he is not complying with visitations and child support? How can I do that? Please advise. Thanks.

LawAndParents Editor 17/08/2015 at 10:03 am

Usually social services (in conjunction with the courts) will make these decisions based on the facts and the best interests of the child. There is a lot of legislation relating to child protection which is too lengthy to summarise here. The NSPCC has a useful list of all the legislation here .

trez 16/08/2015 at 1:28 am

I have a so called relative who has/had a 9year old son her only child who is now in foster care through neglect .im absolutely disgusted with how ss has dealt with this case.a year and 2months ago this relative took her son to mum in laws and stayed over night little boy was staying with nan for a week while mum went to visit her family for a week but the day she was meant to return we got a tx mesg to say keep him as I'm not coming back..so from that day for a whole year there was no contact from her .nan is not well and couldn't cope with little man any longer as he has adhd and is very hypa actve so ss placed him in foster. Care.he was already on child protection list for neglect as his mum was so lazy she stayed in bed till late afternoon so llittle man had to look after his self she didn't bath him or give him clean clothes or take him to school very often and when she did he would be dirty and smell as he used to mess himself and she never cleaned him..now. After all this she wants to see him and ss are aranging this she allso smacked him hard accross the mouth and he's had so many accidents in her care how on earth can this be right for her to have any rights to see him after what she's done.she gave up the right to be his mum when she abandoned him.surely this cant be legal she should be prosecuted. I'm so angry.this little man deserves better.can she be stopped or is there a law saying you can ill treat you child walk away for over a year. Then oh I think I may. Want to visit him ..please help anyone that knows how the law stands on this matter.

LawAndParents Editor 22/05/2015 at 11:45 am

@Truffs. No he will need to wait until the baby is born. If the ex girlfriend is being difficult about granting access, then it's highly likely that court action will be needed to put some official arrangements in place. He will have parental responsbility if his ex is willing to name him on the birth certificate. If she won't, he can apply to the courts where a DNA test will be required. If this proves he is the father the courts will order the inclusion of his name on the certificate.

Truffs 19/05/2015 at 10:33 pm

My friend has recently found out that he is having a baby with his then girlfriend. When she found out that she was pregnant she split up with him just before the 12 week scan. She threatened to abort the baby for him to then go back to her to be 'housewife' because that is what he did when they were together. She has now gone and said that he cannot see the baby when it is born because he wants to have the child stay at his and it isn't on her terms. She has 2 children already and they both have different dads and she has been to court with her eldest child in the past. What can my friend do to prevent this from happening? He has evidence to prove that she has been suicidal in the past and has evidence to prove that she is threatening access. Is there anything that he can do now before the baby is even born?

Paddington Editor 18/07/2014 at 2:13 pm

@anonymous granny. Abandonment or not, in this situation it would have been wise to inform the police just in case. Half an hour seems like a long time to leave two young children unattended.

AnonymousGranny 18/07/2014 at 1:41 pm

I recently heard a baby "fussing" and upon investigating discovered not one, but two, infants left in a car in 30°C heat. Though the car was in the shade and the windows were left open a couple of inches, as it was there when I'd arrived it had been there for near-enough half an hour by the time I discovered the babies. The father showed up a few minutes later, moved the car (to a sunny spot!) and took the babies out, but not after I'd really told him off about the potential harm. Clearly he did not "abandon" the children with no intention of returning, but clearly this form of "leaving" should also come under some kind of law. My own adopted son had similarly been left by his father, he'd been rescued by the police and put on the "at risk" register, before being taken away permanently and adopted by me and my husband. But I'm not sure what, if any, measure the police may have taken against the father (other than smashing his car window to get the boy out and taking him to safety).

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