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Understanding Parental Responsibility

Author: Angela Armes
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Understanding Parental Responsibility

As a parents you are responsible, in the eyes of the law, for the safety, wellbeing and upbringing of your child. Parental responsibility requires you to ensure that your child receives the best care possible within the family unit. Although not an exhaustive list, parental responsibility means:

  • Providing your child with a name
  • Offering a secure and safe home
  • Providing your child with good discipline
  • Playing an active role in their education
  • Deciding how your child receives medical attention
  • Nominating a guardian for your child, if necessary

Who has Parental Responsibility?

By law, the mother of any child automatically has parental responsibility for them from birth. If the parents are married at the time of the birth or they have jointly adopted the child, then parental responsibility becomes a joint venture and both parents should have a say in how that child is brought up.

If parents then divorce, they do not lose parental responsibility and are still responsible for the child one the marriage has been dissolved.

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What if I am unmarried?

If a mother is unmarried, she has sole parental responsibility for that child, and all decisions relating to her child’s upbringing are hers.

However, unmarried fathers can gain legal responsibility for a child by:

  • Jointly registering the birth of the child with the mother
  • Making a parental responsibility agreement with the mother
  • Having a parental responsibility order, made by a court
From 4th May 2006, an unmarried father has parental responsibility if he is named on the child's birth certificate. Unmarried fathers can also be named on a child's birth certificate if it is re-registered, which will give them parental responsibility.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Applying for Parental Responsibility

If you do have to apply to the courts for parental responsibility of your child, you must show a level of commitment to your child as well as a high level of attachment. The court ultimately has the final decision and must take all things into account before deciding on parental responsibility. The court must also consider why the father wishes to be given parental responsibility and may look at the mother’s ability to care for the child or children.

A court welfare officer may be appointed to assess the father’s level of commitment to his children in terms of attendance and also how he interacts with them.

The Next Step

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Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Parental Rights Checker lets you check your legal rights as a parent on education, health and welfare decisions. Try it now →

255 questions
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LawAndParents Editor 09/06/2026 at 9:15 am
@SuzieQ1978 That's a really tough situation, and you're clearly doing a brilliant job holding things together. Legally, you can't force his dad to visit, but you could suggest mediation through a service like Family Mediation Council to set out a proper schedule. If that fails, applying to the family court for a Child Arrangements Order is an option, though courts can't compel a parent abroad to turn up. In the meantime, regular video calls might at least give your son something consistent to hold onto.
SuzieQ1978 03/09/2024 at 7:56 am
My sons father sold his home and verbally agreed to spend 6 months in uk to see our now 15yo child who has autism and adhd, that worked the 1st year but he left in October 2023. He was supposed to come back in may 3024 but told our son he couldn't afford it, maybe August 2024. I am trying my best to keep our son on a good path and I'm doing an amazing job but my son should have access to his father. He doesn't know when or if he will ever see him again. What can I do???
Bold 30/09/2023 at 7:24 pm
Personal agreement with my daughters mother since she was 12 months old to pay support.
My daughter is now 18 and in full time education as well as having a part time job.
Do I still need to pay support for her and if so can I pay it directly to my daughter.
Mamaz&z 07/07/2021 at 2:26 am
I was in a bad marriage 2 years ago where he try to kill me while pregnant with his child and he attacked me in front of my son who is now 3 years old. Ever since I left he won’t leave me alone he doesn’t answer his phone when his kids rings him and then when it late at night he would call early hours in the morning to speak to me. He uses the kids has a excuse to talk to me since I left him all he’s done is emotionally and mentally abused me he’s also threatened to kill me and kidnap my kids and take them out the uk If he does this he will make sure that I would never see them again so I want to know if I can go for a Residence order to protect my kids as I do have a letter from social services of not to let him see the kids. All I want is for my children to be safe and not to keep waking up shouting no dada no hit mama it’s heart breaking that triggers when he abuses towards me
Vicki patten 14/03/2021 at 5:26 pm
I am having an issue with safeguarding with my 2 year old she has been left with an unknown person to myself her dad knows after 2 weeks and she has her overnight alone without him being there i am gravely concerned as she has adult children and her grandchildren in the house and i do not know where my baby is help
Aj 18/08/2020 at 7:35 am
My ex who I'm not married to cheated on me I have 3 children with him the youngest is nearly 4 2 weeks younger then the child he has with the woman who he was cheating with they now live together. I have never stopped him seeing girls but he broke the arrangements each time then never bothered to see them for months a year even I and the kids, got on with life now he has asked for visitation rights but laid out to me i want them to stay at my home overnight it will happen in 6 months if not I will take you to court. I am not happy with this first my young children have to build a relationship with their father by him keeping to arrangements and I have to build a trust relationship with him that he will stick to arrangement he has also told me in six months he will introduce them to the children their half sibling he had while cheating with me. I am not ready for this I am not ruling this out but not in his time frame of six months when my kids know nothing about his other life. I dont know anything about this other woman and I dont feel happy I have explained to my ex that I am happy once again for them to build a relationship and if he keeps to it being consistent then down the line I wont rule it out but he said no it will happen in 6 months time has always been a bully and intimidated me. What rights does he have to force me into an agreement in 6 months when I'm trying to be reasonable and put the childrens best interests first one of the children has special needs he knows nothing about her needs .i feel anxious and stressed about him takeing me to court we are not married. Do i have any rights i am trying to be reasonable with him about the kids but he wants it his way and threatening me with court. Am i being unreasonable by telling him he has to build a relationship with them first and be consistent with it and do i have to allow overnight stays in 6 months.
Lj 27/01/2020 at 4:53 pm
April 2017 my ex was arrested from our home for abuse towards me when our child was present to. Since then I had began seeing someone the end of april, moved elsewhere come june and opened a business. He has since been charged for the assault and I have a restraining order against him and he had been arrested since for things nothing to do with myself or my concern. Since then my new partner has been helping me raise my daughter who was only 8 months at the time and she calls him daddy and doesnt recognise her birth father. My new partner and her have a normal father daughter bond and we are expecting another baby and are engaged. He would like to adopt her. Is this possible when the birth dad is on birth certificate, even though he pays nothing towards child, hasnt seen her in 3 years and took no steps forward to address his drinking or anger issues
Kelv 04/12/2019 at 7:27 pm
I spilt with my ex when my daughter was 21/2. At first see wouldn’t let me see her but then we seemed all ok. I’ve been with my new partner for five years now & my ex has been really amazing having my daughter over 204 nights per year but my ex won’t tell the truth about how many nights we have her. Now CSA are taking the money out of my wages & three times as much as I was paying her. I called CSA, but they said I was informed but I didn’t get a call or letter so can’t appeal! Is this right, also why don’t they take my word for what’s going on. My ex has just had a baby & said she’s on low money now while off work but that’s not my fault!! Please help me. I can’t afford the extra money & May have to stop seeing my daughter as much because can’t afford the petrol to get her! Thanks
Wenna 10/10/2019 at 7:21 pm
Hi I have a 9 year old son and I have him 12 days out of 14.
The father has now stopped payment. Full details below. But can he do this? Ans what actions should I take.
I was admitted into hospital with liver problems which have been know before due to drinking and diet etc. My ex has known this for years ans never has it been an issue for his care. In hospital I reached out and have now been discharged and 100 timwa better. I asked my ex to look after my son whilw I was in hospital for a week ans since his regused to give him back ans now stopped money which is what I Use for rent etc. So his left me unable to pay bills that's normally used to keep a roof over his heat. Food etc.
Geo 15/08/2019 at 6:58 pm
Can anyone please help I have a letter from my ex lawyer to mine saying that I have them 6 nights 7 days over the 14 nights has been that way for over 2 year we both still say in the same area for the kids school but she met a man who lives in Glasgow and I believe that she is thinking of moving my kids to Glasgow from Edinburgh which means that they would need to change school and nursery also if she does move I would not be able to get them to school in the morning which would mean I would not be able to take the kids as much as I do is there any way to stop her changing the kids school or does she have final say on where they live and Go to school from a dad on his knees my kids are my life ?
Sanzio 16/07/2019 at 8:52 pm
My ex and I are separated with 50:50 care of the children and alternative weekends.

Over the last two weeks I’ve had bad news about my job and health which im struggling to cope with. A female friend invited me to go to a dinner to help me switch off but hat is on a night when I have the kids. Asked ex for help but said he can’t have the kids.

I suggested using a baby sitter for a few hours, and the sh*t has hit the fan calling me irresponsible cause I fancy a night out for myself.

What rights has he got to stop me getting a trusted baby sitter?
Ariella 04/05/2019 at 11:59 am
Hi

I don’t know what to do I have four young children. My eldest daughter is going to be 15 she screams at me demands. Often at 10 in the night she will say she needs me to buy her something for school if I don’t she will continue screaming too I get it. She argues with all my other children threatens me that she won’t have anything to do with me. She spends all her time in her phone sleeping til 12. I buy her everything she needs drop her at school pick her up if I am not on time she will phone my work none stop. I am starting to get ill with it all with chest pain. She has done this for 4 years. She gets money when she wants if she doesn’t she will scream at me. She threatens me that she will have nothing to do with me. Legally when can I tell her to move out. She is ruining my life she is never on time for school looses stuff is always late. If she is late and we go out without her she leaves me nasty messages and threatens she will never see me again. I am constantly getting chest pain my weekend are living hell. I went to my GP he said go to CAMs she won’t. She continues to bully me and threaten me. I really need her to move out. I just feel life is unbearable for me. Even if she sees I am struggling she mocks me. Where can I legally place her. The other children have had enough we tell her she has no remorse and doesn’t care one bit. I really need respite from her we all do so she will stop bulling us all. I am getting very ill and down she knows this but just shout at me.
Richard 10/04/2019 at 12:28 pm
Hi My friend has recently separated 5 months ago, his ex wife has been in multiple relationships since and has recently (3 weeks) starting seeing another guy, she has told him she intends to introduce her new partner to my friends Daughter, they are still legally married but Separated he isn’t happy to have the new partner introduced so early on does he have any rights legally to stop her ? Please help urgently
Mil 03/02/2019 at 1:29 pm
I have separated from my partner near three years ago. We never married things we did register the birthday together and I am named on the birth certificate. We have jointly shared custody of the kids (4 and 3) who stay at mine three nights a week and I am, most (of not all) afternoons and nights at hers otherwise to help with care of the kids when they are not with me and I maintain child support payments. The last year I have been speaking to and started a relationship with someone new and my ex is now arguing that the kids are never to meet her (with no real justification to it other than that I wasn't upfront at the start that I was seeing someone)and even if my relationship progressed and we moved in together, they are never to go around there. Can she have a say in what the kids do and who they see when they are in my custody and can she stop my custody if she isn't happy?
Lou Lou 21/11/2018 at 6:33 pm
I have 2 children with my partner I have been with him for 8 years now, we don’t live together but he is named on both birth certificates. He is a good dad (sometimes when now shouting at me or swearing) we are struggling a little in our relationship and he is very dominating and demanding. He is jealous of my other two older children and the fact I have an ex husband. There is not a day that goes passed where he doesn’t put me down or make me cry , he always says it’s me and messes with my head (very clever and manipulating) I’ve stayed put as he says I’m an unfit mother and if we break up he is taking the boys and I will only be able to see them at weekends. I am a hardworking mum who always puts my children first but I am now a fraction of the person I used to be , what I need to know is does he have the right to take my boys ..... can I stop him ? He is very stubborn and would do it to prove a point, he wouldn’t care if police were involved he has already threatened to set the house on fire with me in it if I leave him so I’m stuck and just don’t know what to do ....... any advice so I can try to be strong and tackle this head on armed with the full facts ??
Locket 22/10/2018 at 11:20 pm
My ex who is resident parent to our 5 and 10 year old girls has moved in with her boyfriend. She refuses to give me his details. Do I have the right to know as I have PR? Can I demand she tells me?
LawAndParents Editor 24/08/2018 at 3:40 pm
No CSA is not payable once a child finishes study at A level or equivalent.
Sid 24/08/2018 at 9:02 am
My son is 18 and going to university in September to do a foundation course leading to a degree. Am I still required to pay his mother CSA payments or can I just pay an amount I choose directly to my son
LawAndParents Editor 06/06/2018 at 11:15 am
He can certainly apply. The judge will order further investigations before considering reinstating parental rights etc.
Mike 05/06/2018 at 7:55 am
A father's parental rights are terminated by the court for reasons of domestic violence and domestic assualt.
The child (now 9) resides with the mother who has full custody.
Visitation by the father is at the discretion of the mother.
The father has completed anger management as ordered by the court, and has had regular contact with the child since his rights were terminated a few years ago.

Can the father apply to the court to have his parental rights reinstated on the grounds he has complied with the court order and there have been no reported incidences of abuse or assault since his rights were terminated?

(All parties reside in the UK)
Milsey 25/05/2018 at 9:39 am
So Mother's are extremely vulnerable to very controlling ex's and have no way of keeping her & child safe from daily manipulation after seperation?
ie if both parents are on the BC but were not married but child has Fathers surname,. Do they have the same powers? Can the Father just take the child from the Mother? Can the Mother and child move away without permission or are they forever under thier control?
Milsey 25/05/2018 at 7:54 am
So Mother's are extremely vulnerable to very controlling ex's and have no way of keeping her & child safe from daily manipulation after seperation?
Katrina 18/05/2018 at 7:08 am
Hi. I have looked on different websites and some say one thing and others say something different. My 17 year old daughter and her boyfriend are planning on going to Scotland to get married. We live in England. If they do does parental responsibility stop when they get married? thankyou
LawAndParents Editor 11/05/2018 at 9:53 am
At the age of 15, a court will take the child's opinions into account but will also look at the overall circumstances and what they consider to be the child's best interests. This might be your only resort if you cannot agree with the father.
dmj 09/05/2018 at 3:30 pm
My 15 year old daughter has decided she wants to live with me full time as she has had a falling out with her father, which has partially contributed to her ill health. She has to attend CAMHS appointments each week and is Gillick competent.
She has a school trip abroad coming up and her father is threatening to withdraw consent so she won't be able to go. The school will not take her with only my consent.
She also does not want him to know anything about her CAMHS appointments.
Is she able to do this - ie she does not want him involved in her life - she does not want him to have parental responsibility over her.
This is not a snap decision - this has been coming over months now.
Thanks
Salopians 03/05/2018 at 8:44 pm
Hi. My daughter was born May 2002, me and her dad were unmarried at the time of her birth, we both registered her birth and he’s named father on the birth certificate. We married in 2006. I would like to know if he has parental responsibility please also I’ve been told that he’s our daughters next of kin as he’s older than me, Is this true and if so how can I be her next of kin as I am her main carer. Thank you
Smithy 15/04/2018 at 8:36 pm
Hi , I have 2 children aged 8 & 4. My children’s father decided to have an affair when I was pregnant with our now 4 year old. This led to him leaving the family home & not sticking to his set days to see the children. Due to this I stopped all visits in the hope he would take it to court for more access ( I wanted him to be involved ) . He took it to court and an order was put into place for him to have the children every other weekend Friday - Sunday , Ive since found out that during the Saturday he leaves the children whilst he works with his girlfriends brother who my children have met a handful of times , is this acceptable ?? This man is not a relative & I know nothing about him ?
Thx
Cris 04/04/2018 at 7:10 pm
Hi. My daughter have 9 years old. My and her dad split when she have 10 months old. She’s live with me since that. His see her when they want, when his not busy with his staff. His always come first and his daughter second, his never ask if she need something. When I ask for paternal help his always refused to give. So I put child maintenance. Now his mum (not him) always ask me for her birth certificate and her ID card. I’m always refused to give her my child identification. I don’t know what for she want them. Can I get some advice for what she can do on my back? I been on citizens advice and they tell me to not give nothing from my daughter.
Caz 30/03/2018 at 9:22 am
My daughter split from her partner 13 years ago after he beat her up for the second time. Both went to court and gained shared residency. Since then the girls went to stay solely with the father and his new partner. Social services have been involved as the father has hit both girls and his new wife. Social services have allowed the girls to go back into his care as they assume that he has parental responsibility. We have now found that he does not have parental responsibility as the girls were born before 2003 and the parents were unmarried. Were social services wrong to send them back to the father?
Gates 29/03/2018 at 3:45 pm
My son split up from his partner a year ago he is on all 4 birth certificates she has been using the kids to get her own way saying if he doesn't do it she will loose contact with kids which has now happened she has blocked him on there phone not let him see or speak to him we used to have them at least 3 days a week know she won't even let him talk to him it is killing him not talking or seeing them realy realy need advice if she's allowed to do this
NikaHibsz 22/03/2018 at 4:24 pm
Helio,
My name is Dominika, I was hoping to get some advice. Me and my ex husband we split up many years ago (2008) and we are divorced. We have a son 10 years old (born in 2007), my son don't know his father, he never talk to him or hear from his father from 2008, zero contact, he doesn't pay any child maintenance since 2008. My question is how I can take parental responsibility from my son father, what is the all procedure and how to start.
Thank you in advance
K 14/03/2018 at 2:29 pm
Hi,
My children reside with me but spend approx 1 night a week with their father. I want to take them away to visit family abroad but my ex husband is saying no to this as it falls over xmas. Can he dispute that with them living with me? We don't have a court residency order or any thing
Thanks
LawAndParents Editor 13/03/2018 at 10:32 am
We don't have enough information to advise properly on this really, but you will be required to pay child maintenance. The easiest way to get an idea of what you'll be expected to pay is to use the Child Maintenance Calculator
sigha 10/03/2018 at 2:08 am
Hi there,
Please i want to ask if i am earning and living with my wife and children and now i am moving out in new other council flat where i will pay my rent to new council for myself there but
will i need to pay anything in my last council for my children as well because they were taking housing benefits and getting it less because of my income if i leave permanently So will last council force me to pay the part of rent as well because of my parental duty and income from my job.
although, i am leaving from old home/wife/children.
Many thanks in advance.
Regards
Ahmad
LawAndParents Editor 05/03/2018 at 1:50 pm
You have parental responsibility the child's birth was registered after December 1st, 2003 and your name is on the certificate as the father, so yes you do have parental responsbibility. Get lots of evidence together about all the work you've done as a stay at home dad, it should be fairly difficult for your ex partner to disprove anyway.
LawAndParents Editor 05/03/2018 at 10:02 am
We can't give you personal advice on what you should do, but if you're worried about the baby's safety there are some things you can consider (1) when the baby is born and (2) after the baby is born.
(1) Before the baby is born, if you're at all unsure about your safety or that of your unborn child (eg. if you partner is violent etc), then seek advice from the police or a solicitor - it may that you can apply for a non-molestation order. Also think about your accommodation, talk to the landlord, or look for alternative accommodation.
(2) After the baby is born - are you sure your ex partner is a threat to the child? If not, then allowing him contact might be acceptabel to you. You can ask a mediator to help you draw up a contact agreement (this can be formalised in the courts if necessary). If you don't want the father to have any contact with the child you will need some evidence of why he is a risk - seek advice about your options from a solicitor or Citizens' Advice.
(2)
David 02/03/2018 at 11:56 am
Hello,
My cohabiting partner and I are separating. We have two sons 13 and 11. I have been a 'stay at home Dad' and main carer for our children for the last 8 years, whilst my partner has been the breadwinner. I am named on both boys birth certificate born 2005 and 2006 respectively.
Being main carer means that I have done practically all of the day to day main caring e.g. : school runs, after school clubs, cooking, washing, sickness care, school holiday care, organising play dates etc etc. In my eyes this is being the main carer.
My question is, as a cohabiting father, am I seen by the law as the main 'primary' carer assuming what I have said is factually correct? I also assume I have parental responsibility as well as the mother. Is this correct?
I ask as my partner does not want to recognise that I have been the primary carer. I believe she is worried about the potential consequences that this could mean. Not sure what these consequences are. We are proposing shared care going forward but I feel I need her to recognise my present and past position so we can at least discuss things from a level playing field.
Laureen 02/03/2018 at 12:15 am
Hi
I have a child from previous relationship and am currently pregnant (first trimester) with my boyfriend whom I used to live together with. He is very violent and last year Oct before I got pregnant I called police on him when he later his hand in me and he was handcuff and taken away. I asked police to warn him upon release to leave me alone after few eels he came back begging and I thought he changed. Then I got pregnant and 1mj this after he became violent with me again and I calle the police and he packed his things and leafy the house completely.
The issue is the house is in his name (rent ) wen called a family meeting and he agreed to cont. to pay rent till I have the baby or ready to leave and also agreed to support me with some money every month because of my condition ( am not working yet) and did I mention he has 2 children from two different relationships before I meet him and he lied about this until after we moved in together.
I don’t want to put his name of my baby certificate or have him have access or right to the baby pls what do I do? Should I move out of the house he is paying for ( I think he is doing this to want to claim the child as he said before he will take the baby from me) should I stop collecting maintenance money from him now? What can I do to stop him for
Getting parental order or share custody later when my baby is grown? Should I run away or change my number pls help me!!! This man is evil and will do anything to have this baby because none of his children from his past relationships are allowed to see or visit him by their mums. Have throughly see him for who he is now.
Kev 21/02/2018 at 7:33 pm
I have been separated from my ex for over 2 years and divorced 6 months. I have a partner which I have been with for over 2 years now. She has 3 kids for her last marriage and my ex is saying she doesn't want my new partner to take care of the kids on her own. My kids love my new partner and enjoy coming to my house so what right do I have that says my ex cant tell me who can look after my kids?
Lou 06/02/2018 at 9:30 pm
Hi I have 2 children and there father hasn’t seen them in over 3 years and not paid any child maintenance either.. is it possible to obtain sole parental responsibility for them? And he lose his PR(His on there bith certificates)
Many thanks
Em 29/01/2018 at 7:02 pm
Me and my husband separated 3years ago we share a daughter and he won’t tell me where he lives or who he lives with as he lives in a house share with another person ,he now won’t give me his phone number so when my daughter is with him I have no way at all of contacting her if anything happened to her I wouldn’t know and I feel powerless to stop him doing this to me
Tip-top 29/01/2018 at 12:41 pm
My son is 16 and enrolled in college last year. He has stopped coming to see me and doesn’t answer my messages . He recently posted on line that he is receiving unemployment benefit. I contacted his mum she denies this , I currently contribute £200 a month as long as he is in education , I contacted the college but they will not tell me if he is still attending . How can I find out as I don’t think his mother will tell me.
Fezzer89 17/01/2018 at 6:50 pm
Hi I have been split from my partner for 4 months we have a nearly 2 year old together. He hasn’t had a fixed abode since we have split he has just lost his job so no doubt maintenance will be stopping soon. He sees her only on a Sunday for a few hours and doesn’t bother asking in the week how she is etc. And when he sees her he expects to stay at my flat which I have now stopped. Because of all this he has started threatening me telling me he knows his rights. And that id better not have anyone else around our daughter or he will find out. He has made these types of threats before. He has also hit my whislt we have been together, he has a terrible anger problem. And now talks of suicide what are my legal rights? Ideally I do not think he is mentally stable currently to be with her one on one and no one in my family wishes to mediate? Regards
LawAndParents Editor 17/01/2018 at 3:44 pm
There is nothing specific in law about the amount of contact a father can have with his child. See what the results of mediation are and perhaps aim for more contact and then overnight stays when your child is a little older.
alyn23 15/01/2018 at 2:21 pm
hello...me and my ex girlfriend we split one week ago...she leaves the house woth our son of 1 year and 8 months...she lives 30miles away from me...i’m going twice per week to see him...i asked the mother if she can let our son to sleep overnight on saturday and sunday at my house once per month...she told me no, she refused me...i go to family mediaton and now i’m waiting for her to respond to this service...my question is : do i have the right like father ( my son have my name) , to have once per month my son with me at my house?...thank you
LawAndParents Editor 05/01/2018 at 11:30 am
The father can apply to the courts to have his name added to the birth certificate if the mother has not included it at the original registration.
Nick 04/01/2018 at 3:57 pm
I want to take my daughter away from her mother as she has proved on countless occasions she is an unfit parent! She’s gone against social service orders regarding who’s allowed around my daughter and on one occasion proceeded to attack me in the presence of my child! I have parental responsibility so I was wondering if I can take her and then go for full custody
LawAndParents Editor 03/01/2018 at 2:34 pm
If you are named on the birth certificate you automatically have parental responsibility. Ask your ex partner if you can draw up an agreement for specific times time (inlcuding overnight stays) that your son spends with each of you...if necessary use a mediation service to help with this. If that is unsuccessful you can apply to the courts for a child arrangements order.
Louisa 02/01/2018 at 7:23 pm
I am 21 weeks pregnant and myself and the baby's father are seperated. This is due to his drug problem, I wasn't aware of this until after I had gotten pregnant. There are numerous members of his family that also have drug issues and due to this I don't want any of them to be involved with my baby. My ex's sister tries to contact me a lot demanding I give them access and threatening me with the courts, the sister also has drug issues. My ex turned up unexpectedly at my house a few days ago to return money to me that he had stollen when we was together. He wanted to speak in regards to the baby but I explained I had nothing to talk about. My midwifes have advised me that if I don't put him on the birth certificate he will have no rights to access. Is this correct? Does he have the rights to start legal proceedings before my baby is even born?
Ay 31/12/2017 at 9:41 am
Hello,
I have a question. My partner and I have a child and are no longer together. He is now 5 years old and lives with her.

I spend about 2-3 hours with him every other weekend, but i would like to take him out for day trips within London ( London eye, aquarium etc) and perhaps have him stay over at mine every now and then.

She is insisting that I am only to spend time with him in her neighbourhood and that 3 hours is more than enough time to spend with him.

We don't have any parental responsibility agreement, but I am named on the birth certificate.

What can i do? as i feel she wants to control and dictate how, when and where i see my son.
Abbey 27/12/2017 at 12:18 am
My soon to be X husband has had the children over the Christmas period. He has been burning candle at both ends and I made him do a breathalyser test before driving the kids on the motorway to stay with his brothers family who are not big party animals.
I have since found out he’s taking the kids for a night to some big drinkers and probably a very late night. Is it wrong to involve my 15 year old son and ask him to make my X do a breath test for the motorway journey back?
LawAndParents Editor 19/12/2017 at 10:32 am
You would have to apply to the courts if you want to prevent your child from seeing his/her father. The courts will consider all the circumstances and the safety/best interests of the child.
Sare 16/12/2017 at 3:57 pm
Hi..i need some advice please,i split from my ex husband 12 mths ago..he is now in prison for affray(he beat up a 17 yr old boy)and aggravated burglary...he hit the said boy and 60 yr old dad after forcing entry to their home...can i get his p.r.revoked and a residency order...he was a heroin user before sentancing and before we met he was a prolific offender
LawAndParents Editor 01/12/2017 at 10:40 am
A child has the right to contact with both parents. If your ex is not sticking with an arrangement that you agreed informally, then you should try mediation. That might help with setting out a more formal agreement and it can then be made legal via the courts if your ex continues with non-compliance. It's perfectly reasonable to expect a 50/50 shared residence agreement.
Greg 29/11/2017 at 3:36 pm
Hi there,

I was hoping to get some advice. Myself and my wife have separated recently and we have two girls 6 and 5 (both were born when we were married). Currently I have moved out of the marital home, and the kids have been staying with me at the weekends, whilst my wife has them during the week. This has only been recent and I have an email agreement with her agreeing to 50-50 childcare (3 nights for me, 4 nights for her). She is no refusing to let this happen and I really don't know what my rights are as a father. Am I entitled to demand they stay with me for the agreed time, its really in the best interest for them. I have a 6 bedroom house (my parents, who are happy to help me with free childcare), a car to drive them to their school (less than 10 miles away), a good job etc. What are my rights as a father?
The irony is, the marriage broke up due to her infidelity.

Thanks
Gregg
LawAndParents Editor 10/11/2017 at 11:51 am
It might be difficult to suddenly impose your life on a 13 year old boy, but you can introduce yourself slowly. You may need the help of the courts if the mother refuses contact. Write and formally request mediation first of all, then seek advice from a solicitor.
Ian 08/11/2017 at 4:34 am
Hello, my name is Ian. I have been searching for advice but have not come across anything that relates to my situation. When I was 15, I got my then gf pregnant. We broke up and I was never able to meet the child.I was supposed to be at the hospital while she gave birth but then they changed their mind and was unable to be present. I attempted several times to reach out and tried to be in the kid's life but each time I was asked to leave them alone and I was even asked to give up my rights. She blocked me from all social media and has never attempted to find me. She is married and has no other kids. It has been 13 years since and he will be turning 14 in February 2018. I have not had any contact with the woman for at least 10 years. I would like to meet him but I dont know how to go about it. I am now 29 years old and I feel terrible for giving up and not doing anything sooner. I don't want to live with this in the back of my mind for the rest of my life. Please help.
Poppy 25/10/2017 at 11:17 am
Hi I'm in a situation where I have 2 kids with my ex we broke up last year
Last week my 13yr son ended up leaving my home and going to this dads to attend school but he has been passed between his nanas and granddad house his dad says he wants to keep him to which I'm totally against and want him home with me and his sister but his dad has no fixed abode where do I stand on this please can someone advise me on what I should do
LawAndParents Editor 23/10/2017 at 11:20 am
If the father gives his consent, you can simply change your daughter's surname. If he doesn't consent you might have to apply to the courts who may order a DNA test, although we're not sure of the relationship between the UK and Canadian courts.
Chelle 19/10/2017 at 4:41 pm
Hi I have 11 year old daughter she was born in the Philippines her father is Canadian her fathers didn’t acknowledged her, just 2years ago he came to UK and finally see her for the first time.From then until now they have communication and acknowledge but not legally. Now my question is I want my daughter to have her Dad surname and legally accepted.What shall I do? He is supporting my daughter time to time I don’t have problem with that. I need DNA test for my daughter then but my her father is very adamant.I don’t know what to do.
Lealea 21/09/2017 at 7:09 pm
I'm wanting to change my daughters surname she carries her bio fathers surname but he wasn't there at the registration to sign does this mean he still has rights
Kewib123 29/08/2017 at 7:40 pm
Hi I'm trying to get my 6yr daughters dad to see her when he should. He works 4days on and 4days off. He dose pay CSA. He likes to make out his an amazing dad. And she adores him. But she gets let down by him so much. Like this month august his had her two days. Is there something I can do to put set days in place? He just says he has stuff on and thts why he can't have her. Please help I hate seeing her upset. And I would say he can't see her. But every time I see her upset it just brings me to want todo that!
Nia 16/08/2017 at 11:45 pm
If the father doesn't have any contact at all with the child and he doesn't have PR either. Is there like an expiry date for him to try to claim PR with a court order? I know that in some states in America if the father doesn't have any contact for the first year he can't claim PR afterwards. I don't want my ex partner who left me when I was pregnant and saw my kid twice come one day in a few years trying to get PR and mess with my kid's life.
LawAndParents Editor 16/08/2017 at 2:19 pm
We can't say what a court would decide, but it's rare that full custody is given to the father of a very young child/baby unless the child is at risk.
Izzi 15/08/2017 at 1:52 am
Am 4 months pregnant and my ex partner is threatening go for full custody of my child based on the fact that i have a mental health isuess. Also the fact that i live in a big city and will be living in a council house he lives in a small town in a 5 bedroom house. He earns a lot of money and am unemployed at the moment. His argument is that he can provide a better life for the child.
Will i be penalised because of the above reasons? I am really worried and having sleepless night. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
LawAndParents Editor 09/08/2017 at 2:31 pm
Contact the General Register Office for information about whether this is possible for you to do without contact the father or without his consent. Sometimes it's possible to do this by deed poll without the need for a court order.
Chelss91x 08/08/2017 at 2:01 pm
Hi, I have a three year old daughter, which I was in a 5 year relationship with consistent domestic abuse.
I recently took her dad to court, to make sure he plays an active role etc in which they granted that her residency is with me (her mum) &I I think an order in place so he is unable to take her without permission, introduce her to anyone etc and Suppervised visits only on his chosen day a week in place

I'm just curious if I am able to change her surname without her dads persmission, he is on the birth certificate but I'm unsure if her rights are with myself and I can do this without his persmission? There is currently a second order in place so he is not able to contact myself, so don't want t ask persimmon from him.
Thanks in advance :)
LawAndParents Editor 03/08/2017 at 11:01 am
Why not send a friendly email saying that children are keen to continue seeing him but that they want some changes in the times etc. Suggest some alternative contact times, that involve after school and may be single days at weekends etc. If that would involve more travelling for him, perhaps offer to share...that might alleviate the impact a little. If it doesn't succeed, try mediation and then the courts...
Gillm 31/07/2017 at 7:33 pm
I have been divorced for four years, my ex sees our three children every other weekend. They don't want to sleep at his house anymore for various reasons, but want to keep seeing him. I don't know how to broach the subject as we can't communicate without arguing. My children hate going for the weekend and I'm fed up of them moaning about it!!
shirley 22/06/2017 at 11:14 pm
I've a 9 months old. And the baby's father want to see the baby but I wouldn't like to give my permission to go out with mi baby. Father can come to see the baby at home.
Is possible to stop him to take my baby out as I'm still breastfeeding.
I'm getting depresion because I'm thinking he could do that.
Please help me
mum of rainbowbaby 06/06/2017 at 7:34 pm
I have not through court with my ex parent over our son but he see him a couple times a week but he is trying on stop me taking him on holidays to spain for two week can he stop me? Help
Tone66 29/05/2017 at 8:59 pm
My 3 year old son has been living with me for over a year now, since his mum went off with another man. She moved in with a relative whilst waiting for a council property. She has not contributed towards his care in all that time (despite still receiving child benefit until recently) I pay for everything for him and he is happy and healthy and he loves being with me. She has had him to stay overnight for two nights only in all of this time (over a year) and has had plenty of opportunity to have him to stay. She rarely sees him, maybe a few hours every 2 weeks and has let him down on numerous occasions, I don't tell him now when she is due to see him as I don't want him upset. She now has a rented house and has already put an application in for tax credits, I fear that, if she wants him back, it will purely be for financial gain e.g, working tax credits and all the benefits that are attached to a child. where do I stand if she decides she wants him back (which I'm sure will be any time now) and what can I do to fight this?
Mrs Tiggywinkle 20/05/2017 at 9:25 am
My son is named on his son's birth certificate (the mother is not a British Citizen) and he has been advised by Social Services to get an emergency child arrangement order as the baby is being emotionally abused is there anyway he can remove the his son from the mother if he can't get this order?
Sad mum 21/04/2017 at 8:19 am
My mum took my son to Italy and did not return him to me in England,she also gave my Son's passport to his dad without my permission.im an unwed mother so have sole responsibility.i went to get him back and his dad wouldn't give me my sons passport so was unable to bring him home that was Sept 2012. I haven't spoken to his dad since we finished when he was born in 2000 and he's never paid maintenance. He thinks he can take what he wants and keep me out of my Son's life when im his mum. If his dad really cared about him he wouldn't try to keep his mother who was bringing him up very well out of his life. My Son and myself were born in England.when my son was born i had to start all again with nothing because of his dad.he never applied to no courts to want to be apart of my sons life And my son is 16 now and the law says im responsible for his welling till he's 18.please help as we've missed out on so much already.
LawAndParents Editor 11/04/2017 at 11:33 am
If he's still in full time education you may find you still have parental responsibility and it would be more difficult to evict him. Is he paying rent? Does he have a tenancy agreement? If not then "evicting" him should be straight forward. You could always consider professional legal advice if you're not sure.
Smems 09/04/2017 at 1:50 pm
My son is 18 and I have written a letter of eviction to him,he says its not a legal document and I cannot ask him to leave??? He is associated with drugs and I have other children at home. Any advice would be a real help please.
LawAndParents Editor 06/04/2017 at 2:31 pm
You can't usually remove a parent's parental responsibility unless there is a safety risk to your child etc.
Cakes 06/04/2017 at 8:33 am
My daughter was born in Western Australia and her father's name is on the birth certificate. We have lived in the UK (without her father) for a year and a half. She is at school here (which I pay for) and we have just brought a house. In this time he has Skyped twice. I would like to apply for sole responsibility so I can formally have permission for all the decisions I am making on behalf of my daughter. Can you advise whether I would do this through the UK or WA courts and if in your opinion I would be successful.
LawAndParents Editor 31/03/2017 at 1:41 pm
There's nothing you can do legally really, unless you think the children are at risk etc. The best thing to do is to try and have a rational conversation about this with your ex. If you feel the children are at risk, you can apply for a prohibited steps order to prevent him being there at the same time as the children.
Pninja 30/03/2017 at 7:20 pm
Me and my partner of 24 years have recently separated, we were never married but have 2 kids a 15 & 11 year old, I am named on both birth certificates....she recently moved out after I bought her share and she took the kids which are only a mile away but she has said I get them every other fortnight which I do t have a problem with, my issue is she moved out on the 20th Jan and has already introduced a new man into the kids life's without my knowledge, she has known the guy less than 2 months!
Where do I stand if anywhere??
LawAndParents Editor 15/03/2017 at 10:32 am
There are no "rights" as such. This is something you need to work out between the two of you. If you were to refuse, your ex wife might choose to take this to court as a specific issue order or similar. A court would look at the interests (and safety) of your child in this instance.
Peter 13/03/2017 at 12:36 am
Need help, my ex wife would like to met my new partner but my new partner doesn't want to meet her, my ex wife wants to meet her before I am allowed to have my oldest daughter for 3 nights when I go on holiday so my question is does my ex wife have rights to meet her.
Worried Mum 13/02/2017 at 3:12 pm
Hi, I have tried to look on the internet for an answer to this but can find nothing, hopefully you can help?
I had my oldest daughter in 2003, just before the law changed regarding parental responsibility. I never married my daughters father and split up with him shortly after my daughter was born.
Up until very recently my daughter stayed overnight every other weekend, which I was happy about as I think it important that she has meaningful contact with her Dad. All that changed recently as my daughter has decided that she wants to live with her Dad.
Obviously this came as quite a shock to me as we haven't fallen out in any way, and she certainly has not been unhappy. As I have previously said, her father does not actually have parental responsibility, I have at the moment allowed her to move, although I am not happy about it. I am concerned that he will try to move her schools, doctors etc without my knowledge, and although I know that only I legally have parental responsibility I do not know how I would go about enforcing it. What can I do to make sure that nothing is done without my say so?
Good mum 07/02/2017 at 10:33 pm
Please help as I have seeked legal advice (free half hour, not anywhere near enough!) but I think solicitor missed the point! When my son was born, his father & I were not married, & since separated. We registered the birth together, he was only asked to produce his birth certificate as ID, this is not his legal name! he put it on the birth certificate & did not declare any other names, I since discovered he changed his name by deed poll as a child & uses the new name for everything, not the one he stated on birth cert, so he is not who he says he is! He has disappeared, no fixed abode. I want to change my son's name to mine, surely I don't need the father's permission as he should be void now as he lied on birth certificate giving false name?? He is not real! Thanks in advance
John the broken conf 02/02/2017 at 7:01 pm
Hello all I'm loking for some advice regarding. My ex I came home from Wales today to find my fiance of 4years. Has left she's due to drop on the 2nd of aprilI came home to find almost everything gone from the house including the baby stuff I bought washing machine tumble dryer cloths etc so it's not just a spat it's been planned for months. The thing is I have done nothing but support her all the way through at 22weeks she was deciding on an abortion we talked and she didn't go through with it now... She's using it as a weapon trying to say I'm forcing her to have a baby but at the same time getting her Manipulative sister to message me saying that I'll only be allowed supervised contactI have been there for her from the start which is why I'm so confused about the whole situation we been going on really well then all of a sudden gone *poof*how do I go about the birth certificate etc even though baby ain't born yet I feel like she's kidnapped my unborn child and there's nothing I can do PLEASE shed some light thanks
Strongmum 18/01/2017 at 6:13 am
My husband left the family home in Oct 16 and has been visiting the children regularly. Wehave remained amicable until Jan 17 when he did not give us any maintenance and we have since discovered that he has left his job and disappeared. He is not answering calls or messages from the children which is very upsetting for them.
How do I explain this to the children and where can I get further advice please.
MyBoys 22/12/2016 at 2:54 pm
Hi, last Wednesday night my wife left the house, she told me she was leaving and gathered up her stuff and that of the two boys who where not with her at the time. Standing outside the front door was a Police Officer. I asked what the hell is he doing here, she said I was advised. Right ok I admit things haven't been great between us for a while and I lost my dad last year and my job a few months ago. We've argued but I've never touched her or our boys. I'm almost certain the she's had advice that it counter relationship productive. I've not seen my boys since Wednesday morning last week and am missing them massively she won't make contact as she needs space. We weren't married at the time both boys where born but my name is on their birth certificates (Also gone along with the marriage) but they did go back and where amended after we got married. I'm now getting desperate to see them with the time of year it is what are my legal rights and can I do anything report her for abduction or anything. Advice appreciated
Redbull2000 22/12/2016 at 12:31 am
My ex wife is using my kids against me as a weapon. I have always paid maintenance and never missed a payment. I provide a loving home for them to stay. Just recently she become passive aggressive towards me and we are now not talking. Where do i stand legally regarding access to my two kids. Any advice much appreciated.
AlanTed 21/12/2016 at 11:27 pm
My ex wife is constantly trying to tell me how best to parent my kids. We had a ugly fight and she has threatened me with court action unfairly in my eyes. What are my rights as there dad, i am constantly feeling manipulated by her passive aggressive nature. I see them 3-4 times a week and provide a healthy maintenance supply as well as pay for there hobbies and provide a secure place for them to stay with me. She uses my kids as a weapon and its not fair.
LawAndParents Editor 14/12/2016 at 2:47 pm
Ask social services whether this falls within their recommendations for indirect contact?
Nikki 13/12/2016 at 11:32 pm
My ex husband only is allowed indirect contact with his 4 children through recommendations of social services. He is requesting a set of school photos of each of the children. Do I have to give these? Is he entitled to them?
LawAndParents Editor 13/12/2016 at 10:36 am
Not necessarily. If you have parental responsibility you have say in important decisions in her life, such as school, or if her other parent decides to move areas etc. Please see the above article for more information.
Desperate Dad 11/12/2016 at 10:55 am
Do I have the legal right to know where my daughter is living with her mother?
LawAndParents Editor 30/11/2016 at 11:44 am
Yes if the father is registered on the birth certificate he should pay child maintenance.
rian 29/11/2016 at 7:24 am
i had a baby boy..3 and 6month year old..me and my partner broke up..we are not married but my son father is in the registered birth of my son...do i have a right to ask a financial support for my baby to his father...do i have a Sole parental responsibility to my son?im working as a domestic helper..since my son born im the one to support his need..what is my right to my son.?
StepNan 25/11/2016 at 10:54 am
My partners son , arrived home to find out of the blue his girlfriend had left taken their son with her.She has since gone silent along with her parents and has not provided the whereabouts or any access to him...the police say it's a civil matter and the social services can't (wont) do anything..she's suffering PND & it's heartbreaking to see my step son so upset and worried..any suggestions???
abamus 13/11/2016 at 8:45 am
I just had a baby with someone I was seeing for a short term,
There was a lady I know she got pregnant but actually dont who the baby dad was until the baby was born, partially we are 3 guys involved but she said only 2 of us are potential to be the kid dad, after the baby was born she did a DNA test with one guy and she said it was him so she said definitely I am the dad, I told her I want my DNA test which I agreed I will pay for but she refused I do it.
Secondly, The baby is 3 weeks old now, I asked her if she had registered she NO which I am not sure she is telling the truth then I asked her to let me know when she will go and register and we can go together she got upset and said I dont have to be there that anyone can go and she doesnt need any of my information from me to be added on the baby birth certificate. I asked we may need to go to court because this is abnormal and she is upset all the time even a simple question and now she blocked and also said she will move house to avoid any contact from me. Any help please, do I need to contact solicitor or who can I contact that can provide help. I do not even know the baby full name, I just dont know why she wont let me in the baby life.
LawAndParents Editor 03/11/2016 at 12:46 pm
Stick to you guns, if your son's father wants you to contribute it's only fair that you can see how much it costs and whether it's having any success etc.
Katiek1981 03/11/2016 at 9:39 am
I have sole responsibility of my son, but due to his behaviour issues he has been living with his father for over a year as I could not get him into a local school. His father is asking for me to contribute for some therapy which I have no issue with, but he won't provide me with a invoice. This therapist comes into the school so I asked his school for the details, but they have declined stating that its none of my business, even though it affects my son. Can someone please advise.
LawAndParents Editor 14/06/2016 at 2:25 pm
Unless you have previously made an application for maintenance using the CSA or CMS, then you cannot claim back the arrears. You could try the CMS or the courts to enforce regular maintenance payments.
LawAndParents Editor 14/06/2016 at 1:54 pm
You can apply for a special guardianship order. Was any formal agreement made between you and your grandson's father when your daughter passed away?
MummyG 13/06/2016 at 9:24 am
Hi, I have got a 17 years old daughter, her father lives in US and we are in UK, he started to pay the child allowance when she was 7 years old from there he decided how much he should pay, how often and which date of the month. He has a good job as pilot.
He doesn't call her, he messenger her sometimes, he took her for holiday back to his home in Italy after he hadn't seen her for 2 years. I'm a single parent 24/7. When I take her for summer holiday he never contributed with anything, he used to give her a little extra money on her birthday and Christmas. He never attended one parents meeting or one doctor appointment. He said once the airline company he works for give him a private health care and he add her on, but I must pay first and then health insurance would pay him, but I could never trust him on that. His mum used to give to my daughter a gift money and for years she hasn't done anymore, now she is the nursing home and we believed that he had kept the money that was supposed to give to my daughter.
My questions are:
- How much percentage from his salary he should pay the child allowance
- How often he should visit her
- Does he own me the 7 years he hasn't contributed anything.
- Does he needs to pay any extra money towards child care for his lack of visiting, because I had to pay loads of money for child care for me to go to work.
- Does he needs to contribute with her holidays expenses.
Please could you tell exactly what I really need to know, about her father obligations toward to her and which he will stop pay her allowance.
I'm lost and I need to make this right for her. Thank you
Tiggy 12/06/2016 at 8:43 pm
I have my grandson living with me for past three years as my daughter passed away. His dad lives across the road but has not had visitation for 5 years. My grandson knows where his dad lives and says hello to him. His dad agreed that the best pace for his son was with me and his grandad and two uncles as he hadn't been consistent in his life. I have never sought parental guardianship due to the fact that his dad said he still wanted to be involved, no contact apart from hello when passing has ever been made. He sometimes pays child maintenance but when he feels like not bothering he misses payments. I would like to know where I stand legally with parental guardianship and with the maintence payments. I find his relaxed attitude irresponsible and uncaring. I want to make sure my grandson will always be looked after and think the only way for that to happen is for him to be with us.
flowerpot 09/06/2016 at 7:17 pm
My son has been a single dad to my grandaughter who is 13. Her mam has been popping in and out of her life off and on. My son has residency order for his daughter. Last week my grandaughter went to see her mam and when she came back she said she wanted to go and stay with her mam. My son would not agree to this explaining to his daughter it has been 5 years since she saw her mam and would it not be best to have more contact first then see what happens because my son had said this my grandaughter began to be horrible to him so she came to my house.on the Monday on the Tuesday night her mam came and took her when I said she couldn't she said I had no rights my son phoned the police but they would not get involved unless we could prove she was at risk. Today my grandaughter mam has been approaching schools where she lives and to get money without getting agreement from my son she has said she can do what she wants she does not need permission off him. We have only a contact number no address where my grandaughter is. I wondered what my sons rights are as there is no way he will agree for his daughter to live there because of serious incidents that have occurred in the past with my grandaughter mother and partner we are at our wits end as there is no legal aid now my son cannot afford a solicitor as he has limited money I hope you can help.
Concerned grandparent and father
LawAndParents Editor 02/06/2016 at 2:06 pm
Consider your child's best interests first of all. If you think that your ex might improve his behaviour once he got to know your daughter better, then it might be worth allowing contact for an hour or so at a time. He can apply to the courts to have his name added to the birth certificate and for contact with his daughter, so it may be better to simply facilitate this.
Singlemummy1 01/06/2016 at 11:24 pm
I had a baby girl in January 2016. I am not in a relationship with her father. I gave her father a key to my home early pregnancy so he could help me out and when she was born he could come and go as he pleased. She was an emergency c section and I went thru it all on my own. I went through the whole pregnancy on my own too as he was on drunken benders every weekend and one night stands.
He said three weeks before my daughter was due to be born he wanted to step up. He felt bad for not being there.
He still had a key to my home so the door was still open to him. I announced that I needed support from family so I was due to move the may bankholiday weekend. He seemed to understand and be supportive of this.

My daughter was then born. The first 5 days he was really supportive. Then he disappeared for a week and came back for a visit to dissappear for two weeks.
Etc he would come round to my home and play on his phone for the duration he was there. Or talk about his sex and going out life how much he drunk over the weekends etc. He has never given us money and never contributed anything towards his daughter. He isn't on the birth certificate and I have moved now. 5 hours away. He doesn't know where we have moved to and has my email address but has no way of contacting us.
I don't think he wants any contact as he didn't make the effort when we was half an hour away.
But if he did try contacting us etc what do I do?
Mumzy 27/05/2016 at 9:13 pm
I have a eleven year old daughter her father took me to court four years ago to get access I have a residency order but he has now been placed on the sex offender register for life and in prison for two half years for sexual groomi g and assult how can I go about getting his parental responsibility taken away from him please
LawAndParents Editor 17/05/2016 at 2:23 pm
Sorry we can't find any information that gives a definitive answer to this. Parental Repsonbibility usually continues until the age of 18 but that is most often when a child resides with one of the parents etc
Anita 15/05/2016 at 11:15 am
I am a single mother and my 17 year old daughter left home on 5th April whilst I was at work to move in with her first boyfriend and his mother. She had only known the boyfriend since January 2016. She has told the college and McDonalds where she has a part time job that I beat her up which is simply not true. I have spoken to Social Services and the Police and they are aware of the situation, the Police even visited her when she first left and she simply said she was not coming home and then I hear the rest of the things she has been saying about me. My problem is that I understand I still have Parental Responsibility but because she changed her address and contact details for the college they have told me that I have no rights to see her education details as they have to respect my daughter's wishes. I have explained to them that I have not handed over P.R. and that as far as I am concerned I am still her mother and have the right to see details relating to education, medication, consent forms etc. I have today attempted to log in to the college site to see my daughter's attendance and how she is doing and I have been removed. I have sent an e-mail to the college but are they legally able not to provide me with details, I asked for email updates and letters etc, which I have not received. I am aware that next week the pupils in the first year of college start their exams and all I want is to find out how she is doing, that is not a crime it is a concerned parent who has been banned from her daughter's life. Please can you advise me whether the college are denying me basic details. I also was advised by a government official a few weeks ago that technically because my daughter moved in with her boyfriend and his mother that as the boyfriend is 20 and is full time employed then he should be down as her carer and not his mother as it is just the mother's house they are living in. I did advise the college of that but they said that was not the case.
LawAndParents Editor 18/04/2016 at 12:39 pm
There is nothing in law about where you should look after children as part of a private shared residence or contact arrangement. If you ex is concerned about the location of of the children when she doesn't have them and you cannot come to any agreement between you, then she should consider taking out a prohibitive steps order and letting a judge decide.
DB40 16/04/2016 at 7:08 pm
Hi there. I have 2 daughters with my ex partner who are 8 and 11. Iv always paid over the amount on my child maintenance and have my girls 2 nights a week for 6 weeks and only 1 night a week for 2 weeks, in an 8week cycle as i am a fireman. I am with a new gf and we've been together over 7months. I stay at her house a lot and over the last couple of months the girls have stayed here with me quite a few times aswell. My gf used to look after the girls at nursery when they were babies and now works in family support.
Recently my ex is saying if the girls are with me, then i have to stay with them at my flat and not my gf's house...and she even said if i need them to stay at my mums at all on my days of having them then she (my ex) will have them instead. Can she do this? Does she have the right to tell me where i can and cant be with my girls? Can she stop me seeing them if i dont do what she asks? We do not have a court order at the moment for contact, just a mutual agreement that we made 6years ago.
LawAndParents Editor 15/04/2016 at 2:15 pm
It might be worth returning to whichever court ruled on the 28 day holiday issue and applying for a Specific Issue Order
J.J 13/04/2016 at 10:06 pm
Separated from my ex husband in 2008 due to DV matters. I allowed contact to our daughter under supervision at my house over years. He became very controlling even though not living together, stalking me, stealing my house keys and going in there day time when i was at work until one day i found him there. In 2011 an incident happen, one morning he showed up at the front of my door as i was getting ready to leave for work, pushed me in, locked the door and started threatening me with a knife in front of our daughter and not letting us leave the house. He was shouting and swearing that nobody goes out alive today puting me and my child in fear of violence. Eventually i manage to escape and reported him to police where he then served 16 months imprisonement. A restraining order of not to approach us was issued by the court. During that time me and my daughter were relocated to a safer accomodation and i eventually filed for divorce and it was granted in 2013. Over this years i didnt think to apply for sole parental responsibility and now i am considering to go through courts and get this sorted. How much do solicitor fees cost? From my calculations i dont qualify for legal aid as im working part time. I also would like to change my childs name but legally i cant as we were married when she was born. I dont have sole [parental responsibility and Im wondering if passport office will take in consideration the past situation and accept my statutory declaration requesting a name change? Im doing this to protect my child and myself. Solicitor fees are very expensive and the court may take longer to solve this as i was hoping to get name changed before august 2016. I m also changing my name so both me and my child have the same surname.
Does anyone have experience on this matter. It would help me with my decisions.
Sandro Esteves 13/04/2016 at 12:51 pm
Hello there:

My partner had a child with previous partner. They broke up before she was aware of the pregnancy. Life went thru. The child was born and he came from Ireland(where he resides) to register the child. After that hell started. We went to the court because he was refusing to let the mother go on holidays in Portugal ( her home country). The court ruled that the mother can go on holidays up to 28 days, informing the father of the details of the trip. Then stated that she is authorised to make the travelling docs for the child. Done !! We went to our embassy and they told us that she needs to get Sole Parental Responsibility since the father is not cooperating. To issue the travelling docs the child needs to register her birth on the embassy and that act it's only possible with the presence of the father or a sign and recognised authorization from him. We are getting none as revenge. The Portuguese embassy told us that the Portuguese law cannot help us since the child lives here and by so is under UK jurisdiction. With the Sole Parental Responsibility she register the child's birth and issue the travelling docs ( travelling docs only need one of the parents present !!!!! Go understand that !!) They never were married and he's brazilian. So the UK passport is out of question. We just wanna go on holidays !! Can someone please advise ?

Best regards
Ms 04/04/2016 at 5:21 pm
My now partner has not yet divorced his wife although they have been separated for over a year. She had an affair. They have one child together. She is now pregnant by the man she was unfaiftfull with. If he does not getting divorced before child is born will have a legal responsibility towards it? She is not disputing paternity and is now living with man so presume his name will go on the birth certificate.
LawAndParents Editor 31/03/2016 at 1:51 pm
Is your daughter at school or in some kind of training? The law states that anyone over 16 has to either stay in full-time education, start an apprenticeship or traineeship or work/volunteer (for 20 hours or more a week) while in part-time education or training until they are 18. If so, can you speak to her school or training provider? It seems a shame to give up on her by kicking her out.
LawAndParents Editor 31/03/2016 at 12:43 pm
Unfortunately if you are living here illegally, court action will not help your case. The best thing to do is sort out your visa first, then your contact issues after that.
Tinkerbell 29/03/2016 at 1:45 pm
My daughter turned 16 in june last year shes very disrespectful to me her dad and her sisters she causes arguments daily which now my other daughter who is six is starting to copy her behaviours i am also 21 weeks pregnant after my son being born sleeping at 39 weeks last march my daughter has no job so no money coming in also im really not fit enough anymore there have been issues with my daughter since early childhood basically i need to know where i stand if i decide to kick her out please help me social work are useless
Ila 29/03/2016 at 8:50 am
My gf was pregnant for me last year but I went to prison before birth because I was caught working illegally, during my time in prison, she was very supportive, when I came back home we are living together until council have her a flat and she say to me she wants to live alone in the flat with our child, since then I have been seek g my son almost everyday, shop for him and sometimes give her money, but recently she start getting funny, saying that she can't leave me alone with our baby, she doesn't trust me with the baby... Even without doing anything wrong to her ir the baby.
Recently she is suppose to write a letter of support to immigration on my behalf but she has refused and has been treating me bad recently. Am jst thinking will it be right for me to take her to court and demand the write to see my baby and thag will help for my visa. Pls advice
Umer 24/03/2016 at 5:12 pm
Hi I am just wondering as I am not a UK citizen and out of country but I have my daughter in UK unfortunately my wife don't speak to me anymore also my name is not on birth certificate but its on metrinity report also she have mention on paper that I am father of her child we are married now I want to get contact with my child which is less than a year I want to get parental responsibility and want to apply my case in UK family court do you think I be able to my child please Gide me what the best I can do
LawAndParents Editor 22/03/2016 at 11:50 am
If you are in any doubt about your ex taking or threatening to take your child, you can apply for a residence order, If you cannot afford the legal fees, you may be able to apply for a reduction or waived court order fee. By applying for this order it would mean the police would be able to get involved and return your son, should your ex decide to keep him. If your ex has PR, and decided to keep your son, then without the residence order you would have to apply for a court order to have your son returned as the police would be powerless to take any action.
Annefabe26 21/03/2016 at 12:50 am
Hi, I'm just wondering, my son is 3 years old and his father is threatening me to take him away from me since he was 6 month old, abusive text and emotionally abuse towards me and he went to the solicitor but didn't bother cause of costing too much for courts etc. All my son's life I've been looking after him but The thing is he has a PR but doesn't even involved with his son's life, only when it's convenient for him (father) and he doesn't support his son financially but he works full time job as computer scientist whilst I'm on disabled benefits. I'm struggling financially. Where do I stand? I don't deny him visiting our kid, he can spend as much time if he would like to but I've been stressing out and worried sick he may take my child away from me whenever he visits, I would like to know more about a residence order? So that I could have peace of mind.
EJ 12/03/2016 at 1:50 pm
My nephew, is now three years old. He has been living with my mother(his grandmother) now since he was one.

Child services removed him from his mother & my brother just after his first birthday.

Its taken two years in court & my mother (his grandmother) has finally won sole parental custody.

Both his parents are unfit. Substance abuse, soliciting & in jail etc.

My mother is 65. I am his aunty (fathers side) I live in the UK.

Please can you advise how I can be next of kin in case my elderly parents get sick.

It is in my mothers wishes also that he comes to me. Would I have to move back or can he move abroad without his parents say so?

Please advise. Thank you.
Jarzeus 05/03/2016 at 8:16 pm
Ex husband paying maintenance until son is 19 but if he was in full time education it would be until hes 21. As son is only earning £100 a week on an apprenticeship, can maintenance be extended as it is a quarter of my monthly income.
jaye xx 19/02/2016 at 10:36 pm
Hi im seeking advice for a family member my family member and his partner have split they have a 1year old he is unsure of the rights to his child as the mum has recently decided that shes going to change access to two days a week were as before he had him for 3 days every few days he wants to see his child as much as my question is is she able to tell you must pick the child up at such a time and have the child vack at such a time and also change her mind as and when it suits i see it as unfair to the child and is there any certain order he would need to get from a court for regular access that is set on paper that neither party can decide to change many thanks
Zzzzzzzz123 17/02/2016 at 4:22 pm
Hi my daughters father has been very absent say over last 2half years he wasnt around much when i was pregant missed the birth of his daughter due to being hangover i spent 2weeks in hospital as i was very sick he visited 2half days of them all and said he got life and cant sit in hospital. The baby is under my name as he was drunk and off his face on drugs when we went to register her. He threated me with court when she was 6weeks old came back into her life when she was 12weeks old both agreed to meet up on saturday for him to see her and do what ever but with me around as he wont change her bum. Never done a night feed bathed her once in her life! Now its been 3weeks since he seen her as hes been hangover. Now hes threated court again and is demanding to see her on his own when he hasnt been bothered to see her for 3weeks!! And now im being made bad one. He pays 20 a week that started last year. He really cant be bothered with her if im honest i made all effort. I just dont know what to do as i know hes still on drugs and i dont feel its safe for my daughter to go with him
LawAndParents Editor 21/01/2016 at 2:05 pm
For both parents to be recorded on the birth certificate, you have to register the birth jointly or complete a ‘Statutory declaration of acknowledgement of parentage’ form and one parent takes the signed form when she registers the birth or, get a court order giving the second female parent parental responsibility and one parent shows the document when she registers the birth.
Ramoe 20/01/2016 at 9:35 pm
I am pregnant and want my same sex partners name on our babies birth certificate and for her to have parental responsibility. Unfortunately we are not married. What is the process of getting the parental responsibility court order? Can we do this before we register the birth so she is on the birth certificate?
Kat 14/01/2016 at 8:44 pm
Me and my ex split not nicely either and for about 4 weeks after we split he didn't see his kids except for one day and I have tried discussing his vistation with him and he has had them for a week over Christmas and one weekend after but he won't have them over night since Christmas (he lives with his mum) as he says there isn't enough room to sleep them so he picks them up on saturdxau morning brings them back saturday night and the same for Sunday but he only sees them every two weeks for two days won't see them any more than that says he can't and now me and my kids are moving but I don't want him to know where to he can be evil and vindictive so I feel safer without him knowing he has contact details for emergencies and so do I but him and his mum are insisting on knowing where I live but I don't think he needs to know can anyone give me some advice on this please and where I stand??
A35 08/01/2016 at 8:41 pm
Does any one know if I can take parenteral responsibility or even name off birth certificate? Reason being child's father is on sex offenders register! There's been no contact in almost 5 years. But I don't want him able to have a say in medical things and certainly no contact ever again knowing this.
Baby A 06/01/2016 at 9:17 pm
Myself and my x have had a baby now 7 months he gets access a mon 5 till 8 a we'd the same and a Fri over nyt stay 5 till 12 on Sat morning he is saying this is not enough and going to take it further is this not enough access?
LawAndParents Editor 06/01/2016 at 11:46 am
If the mother will not consent, he would need to seek a court order to have his name added to the birth certificate as the natural father.
Heartbreaking 05/01/2016 at 5:57 pm
Can you please give me some advice I'm so desperate, we have just found out my 16 year old son has become a dad, we didn't know she existed.it killing him and me as we see her as was immediately taken from the mum at birth, she left my son off the birth certificate.1she put her in danger hats why and other reasons during pregnancy.2why would she be allowed to register her, ?? 3.we have DNA test proving he's her dad, she's not bothered with contact as she has to ring before contact, my son don't and cries when the hours are up, just put more contact up for him. She added more names on birth certificate and tried putting boyfriend 10 on there. Now we have the DNA can he put his name as her daddy, every child should know who there dad is.currently with foster carers, now she wants to be involved and I've read a lot of court papers. There's not one daddy and baby unit also in the uk, but have rehabs, pedophile hostels , mummy and baby units, immigration. So please please tell us can he go and register his name on her birth certificate she's 3 months old.
Mrs restless 27/12/2015 at 1:47 pm
Hi would like some advice my step daughter is 15 she currently lives with her younger sisters father who has pr for both of the girls my step daughter is extremely unhappy there and wants to live with my husband who is her biological dad and me which is great but as social services are involved can they insist that she goes back there she is 15 and is refusing to go back
Abused 27/12/2015 at 12:02 pm
I have a 13 month old girl. I was abused in my relationship almost from the start, controlling , paranoid, jelous . Inprisonating . She ground me down so much calling me a bad father and did not let me have a say in anything. Anyway I had reported her to the police but decided to not press charges . But try carry on and fix her., but it just continued. I mangaged to get her out my flat and now she and my daughter are living with her mum and now Im even more of a bad father as I (chucked them out) I work full time and have a Mortgage and supported them with my ex pay the MININMAL she could. She now wants to stop me seeing my daughter as much as I want. She makes it very difficult for me to see her and has told me now my daughter doesn't need me and doesn't notice I'm gone. Every time I try see her my ex comes to my car and argues and in one case tipped my dinner and a bottle of hair products over the car , jelouse as she thought I had another girlfriend . Which I do not and have fear now of doing so.
What do I do? I'm afraid if we go to court or whatever else there is no way she will follow orders. She will do what SHE wants to do as I've always said.
What's the best way for me to try have a relationship with my daughter ?
Ps I pay my child maintenance which should I title me to 1 to 2 days a week plus at least 1 sleep over. Yeeee right
Help me out 19/12/2015 at 4:00 pm
My gf has a 3 year old son with her now ex partner, they've been together 19 years and he is on the birth certificate, my gf is worried that he will take her son away from her (not legally) like out of the town, I'm trying to say that this is actually classed as kidnapping and he could get arrested if he does not have the mother's permission, can anyone give me some help in this situation please?
LawAndParents Editor 14/12/2015 at 10:56 am
There is not much you can put in place before the baby arrives but once he's born, your son can ask that his name is included on the birth certificate (a court order can ensure this if the mother will not agree). That gives him Parental Responsibility and various rights/responsibilities as detailed in the article. Your son may benefit from a formal agreement regarding contact times etc. He can arrange this via a mediation service if his partner is willing to cooperate, alternatively a court order may be needed (court form C100 is the relevant form to apply).
Concerned mum/soon t 13/12/2015 at 11:01 am
Can anyone offer any advice, my sons ex is pregnant with his child, they split a couple of times and got back together but the last split my som made it clear he didn't want her back after she took is car keys wallet phone locked herself in his car and wouldn't get out ! At the time I spoke to him and asked him to be careful because I had a feeling she would say she was pregnant to win him back.....needless to say I was right.
They are on speaking terms but as the due date is fast approaching she is going back to her manipulating and scheming ways and I'm worried that she will use the baby as a tool to constantly get what she wants she has already started by telling him she's been to hospital or there's something wrong with the baby when he says he's busy and can't do what she wants. How can we ensure he has access to the baby and a say in his upbringing ? Is there anything we can put in place before he arrives ? everything at the moment is on her terms and I can see my son being cut off from his child when realises this can't carry on.
Any advice would be appreciated
Emzy 06/12/2015 at 9:02 am
My 3 year old daughter stays at her dads one night a week but I have found out that he isn't classed as living there and sleeps in the same bed as our daughter this is now starting to disturb her routine at home where do I stand on cancelling her over night stay till he gets his own place and has a bed for her
y 04/12/2015 at 6:12 pm
I am been messed about regarding contact with my daughter this week I have messaged her 4 times and also been to the house no one there. she is not replying to me now......what can I do
LawAndParents Editor 24/11/2015 at 11:30 am
You cannot have PR removed but if you have an agreement about which times your ex has contact, he cannot simply turn up and demand contact at other times.
Jen 23/11/2015 at 4:36 am
I have a PR with my ex which he asked for for his legal stay. He does nothing to support his two children. He has met the youngest child once at 2 weeks old.he is now 6 months we also have a 1.5 yr old. I Have not heard from him after his meeting with the second child and he refuses contact. How do i get the PR removed.
Jamesche 30/10/2015 at 4:47 pm
Why can't you have PR removed if a parent is a convicted sex offender ? In my case it was the mother of my daughter who was the abuser convicted for 8 years ! And on the sex offenders register for life albeit the government have made it that they can appeal this after 15 yrs ! Never saw that come out in the build up to the elections ! Please don't reply if it's to do with human rights b******s
Kar 24/10/2015 at 6:41 pm
My daughter is with the father of the child but he says because he has pr if she finishes the relationship he will come over and have the child and bring her back if and when he decides has he got the rights to do this as she believes everything he says ??
LawAndParents Editor 01/09/2015 at 11:27 am
This will take time and in the early stages it may be worth agreeing to have your children when your girlfriend is not present. You could then try mediation to see whether a mutual agreement can be arrived at. If not then, you may have to apply to the courts for a child arrangements order. The courts will consider all sides and if they think it's in the best interests of the children, they can still stipulate that contact is made without your girlfirend being present.
Apps 31/08/2015 at 4:11 pm
My marriage has broken down and my wife has stated that we will never be together again.

I have since moved on but want my kids(12,9) to meet my girlfriend. Because I had an affair my wife is denied me access to see my kids as my girlfriend will be with me.

I want to know how to proceed I know she has the rights as I read up on that but for me to move on I need to make sure my kids understand that I love them as well as my girlfriend who has two kids as well (11,7).
LawAndParents Editor 26/08/2015 at 10:14 am
In general, both parents should give their consent/agreement to important decisions regarding a child's schooling etc. However, as your son is now 16, he is old enough to make his own decisions regarding 6th form and those should be respected. There is nothing really that the law can help you with here, it's just something that you will have to try and agree upon. If your son's father decided to apply to the courts for a Prohibited Steps Order/Specific Issue Order, the courts would listen to all the views including those of your son.
kg80 23/08/2015 at 5:05 pm
My son is 16 and has just got his gcse results, he did really well (in my opinion) but unfortunately didn't get the C in English Language that he needed to stay on at his grammar school sixth form to do his A levels (he got a D), so after hours of searching/comparing our local Academy will take him, they can't give him all of his choices due to the D but they have given him 3 of the 4, a different one that he has chosen and are going to put him back through his English Language gcse. The problem I have is his dad has parental responsibility that he gained through taking me to court, at the same time I got a residency order and he got a contact order (but as far as I am aware these 2 expired when son turned 16, but the parental responsibility stays in place till son is 18), son's dad doesn't want son to attend our local Academy as he feels that it is not that good and has said he needs to look in to ones that are in the area that he lives in regardless of whether they can offer him the courses he wants to do (we have looked at these and on the ofsted report they are either listed as inadequate or good, the local academy is listed as good). Son has told me he doesn't want to go to the ones that are local to his dad as he knows his dad will try and persuade him that he should live with him and he doesn't want to do that.

Where does son stand in legally making his own decision regarding his education? From my point of view he should be able to study what he wants to study at a place he is happy to study at, this is his future, not mine, I've had my chance to make my choices so has his dad, it is now our place to guide and advise, not dictate and manipulate.

Does his dad have a right to prevent son from attending the sixth form of his choice?

If I signed the consent form to say son can attend sixth form can I get in trouble legally for signing without his dad's permission? Even though in my eyes I am supporting son and his wishes.

I'm so confused and don't know what to do, I have tried googling but none of the information is consistent, I only have a few days to get this sorted out and I want to do it right.
LawAndParents Editor 04/08/2015 at 2:17 pm
@m.T. The best solution to this would be to go back to social services etc who can help you with the terms of the court order etc.
ms. t 03/08/2015 at 12:25 am
Hi I have a resadancy order for my great nephew his parents couldent keep him though neglect and risck of harm in court they were given supervised contact by me every month coz of me haveing my own chirldren it had to be alltunativ weekend has they had iseus with each other .well there contact is when they feel like it mother had no contact since December farther 3 contacts since December. Just last night farthers step mum has asked if we can meet up with his cousion antsy and uncals on his dad's side but I'm stuck on what to do his dad don't want them haveing contact would I be in wrong if I just go ahead and give littleman a right to have contact with his outer family
Just 01/08/2015 at 6:34 pm
advice ! Separated for almost a year and till now ex see our 6 yr old 2 hrs weekends only , I've ask if he could have him one weekend a month but bluntly refuse , now threatened me with social service and money , is there anything I can do to make him spend more time let alone one weekend with our little one ...
Jase 15/07/2015 at 8:30 am
i am a farther of 4 children and have a contact order to see the children, but partner is making it difficult, and looks like I am going to have go back court which has cost me a fortune, do I have a right as a farther to call the school where my children attend and ask to speak to them
blue 06/07/2015 at 2:09 pm
Do Farthers have rights to ifva mother trys to take there two children out of state with out letting s farther know doesn't the farther have a right to say no. My children. Should come with me cause i have my own apartment and a job and they will be safe and in a great school and happier if they come with me. Instead of going with a mom that has dropped then off and left for a couple days and now just wants to get them and take off
Vi_vi 17/06/2015 at 12:47 am
My ex partner father of my 2 year old so is a gumbler and has criminal records from previous ex about the abuse.also I get grounded a non molestation order.we are not living together around on year.he is not paying any maintenance.he ask me to see a baby just when he wants and when he can, also he is not giving permition to take child for holidays.he gonna let us go just in case if I'm giving him permition to take our son for 3 weeks for holidays with him.is it normal.what you think which orders is better to get.and is it possible to get custody grounded in this situation.thanks
LawAndParents Editor 15/06/2015 at 11:42 am
@Angel. Mediation might help you come to some agreement. If you think a Prohibitive Steps Order to prevent the girlfriend being present might help, then it may be worth a try.
Angel 09/06/2015 at 6:27 pm
I was with my ex for 5 years he walked out when my daughter was 10 days old I was very unwell couldnt be a worse time for him to leave me to try see my daughter he didnt want me to have her and didnt really achknowledge the pregnancy infact domestic abuse got worse I also had two step daughters whom he wouldnt let me involve in my pregnancy or meet our daughter however through much heartbreak stress and impact on my health left looking after my newborn and I got through it through my family friends helping.I have brought her up alone and now 15 months down the line after seeing me out with friends hes saying hes taking action to court wants access this has never been the case untill now that he wanted responsibility also to see her with his girlfriend whom he had a 2 year affair with.I have tried to mediate throughout the 15 months he seen her once on her 1st birthday the other times his parents came to mine we tried but too much anger if honest they was more insisting on seeing her than her dad. which is great but again a diffcult decision as she would be brought up in a house that her sister would be spoken of and my poor daughter may feel rejectected im at a loss what to do.He also lives with house mates partying all the time and feel its not the right place for her to go there.Im happy he wants access but she doesnt know him and I dont really know the solution for this as I am aware he has rights plus I want her to have a daddy just not his girlfriend having access ?
LawAndParents Editor 10/06/2015 at 12:11 pm
@gstars. The best thing to do is to state your position in court. The courts may order further investigations or CAFCASS report etc. They will then make a decision with your son's best interests in mind.
gstars 06/06/2015 at 4:50 pm
I've just split with my two year old sons dad that has very bad mental health issues we are both on my son birth certificate but he wants to take me to court because I've asked for supervised visits when he sees my son because he's very unstable what do I do about this?
Sab 01/06/2015 at 4:14 pm
My wife has taken our son to her sisters I want him back home do I have the right to collect him.
LawAndParents Editor 02/06/2015 at 10:00 am
@Ronnie. You really need to get specific help on this, ideally from a legal professional. Start with your local Citizen's Advice Bureau.
Ronnie 29/05/2015 at 10:58 pm
Two police officers and a court official have just taken my 17 month old son from my parents home where he has been living with me for the past 3 months. During that time his mother has had him for a total of 3 days, she is presently on bail for trying to run me over 4 times, even mounting the pavement to hit me. That is not the actions of a rational person and I fear for my sons safety,she went to court today and got a prohibited steps order to return our son to her and a non molestation order against me even though she has been the violent one in our relationship. I now have 72 hours to vary or revoke this order. Its the weekend and I have no idea how to go about that, I don't know where to go from here. If anyone can help me I would very much appreciate it
Pickle 24/05/2015 at 10:07 pm
I do not wish to change my child's name by deed poll as my ex partner will not give consent but am I still allowed to use my family name for my child at school, doctors etc?
LawAndParents Editor 21/05/2015 at 11:56 am
@gayle. Now your son is 17 he can choose who he lives with or whether he lives on his own etc. There should not be a problem with him living with you if he wants to.
gayle 18/05/2015 at 4:24 pm
I split from my son dad when he was a 11 it went to court he won parental rights I got indirect contact with him now he's nearly 17 on Friday his dad just died what will happen to my son now because I'm not his next of kin
LawAndParents Editor 19/05/2015 at 10:11 am
@pooky. Child support legislation says that child maintenance payments must be made until a child is 16 years old, or 20 if they are in full-time, education (A-level or equivalent), or for as long as Child Benefit is being paid. Full-time education is more than 12 hours a week of study, on a course up to and including A level standard. Some apprenticeships are included but courses that are part of a job contract are not. If you're unsure try the CM Options website
pooky 14/05/2015 at 4:07 pm
my son is 16 and starting a college course 1day a week and working 4 days a week as a garden apprenticeship earning £140 a week will I have to at maintenance for him
LawAndParents Editor 12/05/2015 at 12:57 pm
@Whyme. No one has asked this before...check the views of the court really. In general, the day to day responsibilities lie with the parent with majority residence, but the parent with PR should be involved in all 'important' events.
Whyme 07/05/2015 at 12:25 am
Just gained pr from court I. First hearing. Mother had also been told to put my name on bc. Found out on the 1st day I've met my child by the mother that a christening is taking place and that I'm invited. I told her it's a bit early but I didn't like the Christianity style she uses but dint mind. Not once was I asked if I had a godfather or mother I would like from my family or friends. I then told her in writing that I had two people in mind. She came back rejecting my wishes. I thought I had a right? Really upsetting, what will the courts think if I brought this up
LawAndParents Editor 01/05/2015 at 11:55 am
@Emma. She should continue to get CSA payments but the amount may be re-assessed when you're married.
LawAndParents Editor 27/04/2015 at 10:24 am
@pleasehelp. Your ex should be understanding about situations like this, but if he isn't then going back to court is your only realistic option.
Emma 26/04/2015 at 7:57 pm
I,m getting married in August so will my daughter still get csa payment for her really dad or will it change due to me being married
LawAndParents Editor 24/04/2015 at 12:46 pm
@stressedneedsadvice. The Deepoll organisation has special conditions for applications from anyone wanting to change a child's surname without the consent of the father. Information is available here
please help 22/04/2015 at 6:39 am
please help. my ex partner has been taking me to court to see our 16month son. i was happy with him seeing our son providing an order put in place that our son does not leave my care without my say so as there have been high concerns throughout my pregnancy and after birth that he may not return him. the court granted 2-4 hours twice weekly. For the past 3weeks i have allowed him over to my home with my 15month daughter and have had several days out which has meant spending longer than the 2-4hours (something i thought i was being very fair about). on Monday i took my son daughter and myself to the doctors for chest infections and because the doctors advised me to keep him in the warm he is now threatening to come and collect our son or i will be violating the court order... does the order still apply if he is not well enough to leave my care without(even though i have told him we will make the time up) and also our son has not spent any time alone with him do to ask to get him ready for collection sounds very demanding. what should i do as i find this all very threatening and unsettling and the main reason why i was afraid of contact in the beginning
Stressedneedasvice 21/04/2015 at 9:56 pm
I left domestic violence in 2014, I have a residence order, prohibited steps order as well as a undertaking he would not return to the property, i am finally nearly done with divorce proceedings, can I change my daughters name without his consent as Cafcass have stated no contact to be granted until a assessment of his state of mind is conducted as he attempted suicide when I left need advice and any ideas as to how I go about changing our names please and can I get sole parental responsibility for my daughter thanks for reading guys x
LawAndParents Editor 22/04/2015 at 10:49 am
@Raccoon. You will still need to pay CSA even if the mother's circumstances have changed. Contact the CSA directly if you have any questions about the payments you're making. Unfortunately the CSA will not be able to give you any information indicating the whereabouts of your daughter. You could try family, friends and social media etc. You can resort to the courts via an Application for an order for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts
raccoon 19/04/2015 at 6:48 pm
the mother of my daughter took my daughter away from me 12 years ago and i have been trying to find her for the last 6 years to find her with no luck at all. i have heard rumors that she got married and i shouldnt have to pay csa is this right? Also how can i find and get in contact with my daughter now she is 14
LawAndParents Editor 17/04/2015 at 1:46 pm
@jimmy. There are no really well defined limits on contact time - the only stipulation being that a child has a right to contact with both parents. If you wish to have more time with your children you could try a mediation service, if your ex is not willing to make information/amicable arrangements. If that fails, you could apply for a child arrangements order via the courts.
jimmy 17/04/2015 at 12:53 am
I Am a 35 yr old father who has. A three yr old son. I have been divorced for a yr now . My ex wife only let's me see him once every two weeks on a Saturday , which I think is very unfair . I said im untitled to more access but she said your lucky you see him at all. Im a recovering alcoholic but have my life back on track. I'm in a relationship again have a job and am on the road again. She uses my son as a weapon to get what she wants. What am I intitled to in the way of minimal access ?
LawAndParents Editor 16/04/2015 at 2:12 pm
@Chris. Note the CSA no longer exists - it's now the CMS and they encourage mediation before using them to enforce an arrangement (and one for which they will charge a fee). Could you apply for shared residency? The maintenance will not work out as much from you if you have your child overnight more? Just something worth considering.
Chris 15/04/2015 at 10:34 pm
I'll try to make this short. Married to mother of my child with whom I divorced due to her indiscretion. Our child was 18 months, we settled out of court and had solicitors letter drafted which included my monthly maintenance fee... 5 years later I have a huge involvement in my Sons life... football, swimming and provide a warm loving household for him to be around. She currently has a high powered job of which she relies on myself and her Mother to help out, she earns considerably more than me. I go above and beyond any statement in a solicitors letter telling me what I can and can't do..and enjoy taking him places, buying him things he wants and things he needs. Why oh why then has the mother decided that the CSA should be involved.... So she can get extra money. Where do I stand with this and shouldn't the CSA review a situation and make a decision whether a father is not providing. This will force me to stop doing the things we love doing together just so she receives the money as her lifestyle is suffering. I'm seriously considering going for custody would this be a viable option? I understand a child needs support and money being a small part of that... But does that mean a child will suffer on the life he loves My position as an involved parent I feel is becoming jeopardised due to her greediness. Hope this makes sense to someone as I struggle with the whole scenario sometimes
LawAndParents Editor 09/04/2015 at 12:56 pm
@trainman1. If you have joint responsibility and are actively involved in your child's life then this is the kind of thing you might be aware of. It is a difficult situation though as the parent with day to day care is generally in control of these things. We don't think there's a black and white answer on this, but will let you know if we find out more.
Trainman01 08/04/2015 at 1:44 pm
My ex partner of 15 years has just spoken to me and is saying she has received a fine for my sons attendance of £120. She is claiming I am responsible for half ? My son is 14 and does not live with me and I was under the impression he was attending school regularly and she had not said otherwise. Am I responsible for the fine?
LawAndParents Editor 07/04/2015 at 2:48 pm
@haz. Yes you should be able to do this via the deedpoll website.
haz 04/04/2015 at 4:02 pm
my ex husband is on both my sons birth certificates, I left due to domestic abuse, the judge had to sign my divorce papers as he refused and disappeared, I also have a court order stating he is not allowed contact and if he does in the future he has to apply to court where all the previous evidence has been sworn in. he has not had contact since February 2011. can I legally change my children's names by deed poll as sole parental responsibility? I've no idea of his whereabouts, I do not want contact with him, and I know he wouldn't sign the deed poll anyway as he didn't my divorce papers
LawAndParents Editor 07/04/2015 at 2:32 pm
@Timone. You have equal parental responsibility. That means you have a say in all important events in your child's life.
TIMONE 03/04/2015 at 9:32 pm
I am 2nd mother to our baby girl and married to the mother and also legally informed by a high court judge I'm her mother legally but does this mean that I legally get to say who she can and cannot see ?
LawAndParents Editor 30/03/2015 at 2:31 pm
@Frosty. As the father, you automatically have parental responsibility. To formalise the current arrangements via a court order, you should apply for a child arrangements order here
Frosty 26/03/2015 at 11:39 am
Help the mother of my child left both me and my sixteen month old daughter in january she states she dosent want the child and all child benefit and child tax credits have been moved over to me the father the child is in my name and as lived with me since she was born . I am totally responsible for my duaghter and want to know what forms I need to do for reopnaiblilty and residences of my child
LawAndParents Editor 23/03/2015 at 12:01 pm
@Kel. No you shouldn't have to pay this unless a court has said so.
kel 19/03/2015 at 9:24 pm
Hi, I haven't been with my childs father for many years. She is 14 and in the last 2 years he has been seeing her 2 a month. We live 30 miles away from him. I work and he doesn't I don't receive any money what so ever with help for her and now he's saying I have to pay for her travel to see him. I can't find anything online to help gain some knowledge on this?? Do you have any clues?
Thanks
LawAndParents Editor 19/03/2015 at 2:23 pm
@bullet. You may need to get an agreement regarding the arrangements written down. You can do this via mediation, or if that fails via the courts with a family arrangements order. Once an agreement is in place, make the school aware of it and also of your rights as a father (with parental responsibility), they cannot prevent you taking the child under previously agreed arrangements.
bullet 17/03/2015 at 7:24 pm
I am currently having a disagreement on wen i have my children over night. As she is unhappy with a fri and is insisting on a sat she has now informed me that the school has been told not to allow them into my care. (Second time she has done this) any advice??
LawAndParents Editor 16/03/2015 at 11:16 am
@sarah. There are no set limits on this. If you are unsure about letting the child's father have him alone, then you may need to get the courts to help with a decision.
Sarah 12/03/2015 at 10:43 am
Hi, I need advice please. My boyfriend left me when I was 35 weeks pregnant for somebody else. He did not want to have any involvement with me at all, I informed him when I was he labour he told me to tell him when the baby was born that's all. When he came to see our son he begged me to take him back and that he had made a massive mistake so I took him back. His name is on the birth certificate. My son is now 10 months and his dad has left on several of occasions, he has never lived with us and only see's him once every couple of weeks as he says he's busy. Recently I found out he's been seeing other girls whilst telling me he was too busy working to see our son and left me again. He's now asking for days to see him which I've agreed to I've sed on a Sunday as that's the day he said was best for him and I've asked what times suit him best. However he's now saying he's his dad so can take him out on his own. But my son is 10 months old hardly knows him plus his family smoke in the house and leave ashtrays around. He leaves our son crying and when he does see him he just sits and watches telly and shows him no attention, he is a liar and has proved that numerous times. Can he actually take him out without me ?
LawAndParents Editor 05/03/2015 at 10:31 am
@student. Ordinary Paternity Leave only gives 1 or 2 weeks paid leave. Additional Paternity Leave can be for up 26 weeks but the father is only eligible for this if the mother returns to work. Your partner should speak to his employer to see if he is willing to offer any kind of company leave or a sabbatical during this period.
student 01/03/2015 at 9:43 pm
Hi! I wonder if you could help me please in answering my question. I'm a full time student planning pregnancy on 3rd year. Would my partner currently in full time employment be able to take yearly paternity leave to allow me to continue with the course?Thanks
LawAndParents Editor 03/03/2015 at 2:32 pm
@Stu. Assuming you are the father and your name is on the birth certificate you have parental responsibility. This gives you the right to see your son and to be involved with decisions affecting his life. If she will not talk, try sending a police letter to your ex saying that parental responsiblity gives you these rights and that you'd like to make arrangements that will suit everyone. If this is not successful then you may have to seek a court order.
Stu 27/02/2015 at 11:07 pm
Hi there if just split from my partner after 4 years she is staying with her mum who is interfering with everything my ex won't let me no anything about my son who is 2 years old I've been with him every day of his life and now my ex won't let me talk to him or see him it hurts so much knowing that I don't no anything that's going on she is saying she is not aloud to let me see him and she won't let me no how is is can you give me some advice please of what I can do
LawAndParents Editor 23/02/2015 at 11:29 am
@Sadiq. You could try mediation in order to come to some kind of arrangement if your wife is willing to participate. (Citizen's Advice or an Internet search will help you find a mediator). Your other option if that is unsuccessful, would be to apply to court for a contact order.
Sadiq 19/02/2015 at 11:24 pm
My wife after giving birth to our baby girl wasnt well and decided to go to her parents for support as she had pregnancy related illness. I would visit every 2 weeks as the were over 100 miles away. Eventually she turned on me and her parents started to intefere between me my wife and I was was made an outsider.I had no say to wards my daughter. After 2 months I was asked to stop changing her pampers and to stop bathing her because she is a girl.I was told by her parents not to kiss my daughter on the cheeks but on the fore head its not good for her.She is completely brain washed.last time I was ather parents and things got out of hand and I was asked to leave their house. So I did. Every since I have not been able to contact my daughter and wife.this is now over 2 months.i still send money to my wife for my daughter and she has my money for to support my daughter. I send my daughter clothes via post.I have been depruved of my daughter wat do I do. It hurts too much. She is only 9months old and I need to see her grow. Pls help
Bungie 18/02/2015 at 8:56 pm
Thankyou or your advice, I will seek a legal opinion :)
LawAndParents Editor 13/02/2015 at 12:34 pm
@Angel.You will need to try and sort out alternative contact arrangements with a mediator. Alternatively you can apply to the courts for additional contact arrangment.
Angel 11/02/2015 at 1:34 am
Hi I need to ask for some Legal Expertise. ....Im a Mum to 5 Children...4 of them live with me, One of them lives with his Dad my son Jake his 13.....What RIGHTS do I have with visitation ??.....He sees me and my partner and his brothers and sister on Mondays for a couple of hours after school.....He sleeps out at his mates house and his mates also stay at his/his dads...When I asked my Ex if I could have Jake stay with me Every Other weekend, I was told Jake won't have it as it will muck up his weekend of playing X.box with his mates. .....Im a Good Mum to ALL of my kids. ..What visitation Rights do I have with regard to my son visiting me ?....
LawAndParents Editor 13/02/2015 at 11:55 am
@bungie. As we advised in our last comment, you do really need to seek legal advice as to what might happen in this eventuality. A good family lawyer will be able to advise you regarding the will and the parental responsibility side. Good luck.
Bungie 10/02/2015 at 8:15 pm
Hello,

Thankyou for responding to my enquiry.

I have made a will detailing specific instructions with regard to the ongoing care and wellbeing of my son being cared for should I not be around, this clearly states his father is NOT to be included in this. BUT, seeing as at present he has PR does that 'over-rule' the instructions left in my will ?? From your advice I would not be able to apply to the courts as there has never been any violence or abuse either towards myself or my son.
LawAndParents Editor 10/02/2015 at 2:25 pm
@the saint. You ex should not have done this without your consent. Unfortunately it's all too common a situation and really the only way to resolve it is through legal action. To find her address, talk to family and friends.
the saint 07/02/2015 at 6:24 am
Can you give some advice about a ex wife moving my daughter to a different part of the countrywithout
telling and forwarding new address?
LawAndParents Editor 10/02/2015 at 11:40 am
@Bungie. You cannot get PR removed without a court order and this is only usually issued if there has been a history of abuse, violence etc. If you are worried about what will happen when you die you should seek legal advice about clauses in your will, specific steps orders etc.
Bungie 05/02/2015 at 11:32 pm
Hello,
I am a single parent to a 9 year old after splitting with my childs father 4 years ago. We have never been married but he was named on the birth certificate in 2005. He has never been a 'father' to our child from day 1, doesn't interact, play or generally have any time or patience. He has nothing to do with sorting out hospital/doctors/dental appointments and has nothing to do with his education. Everything has always been left for me to sort out and arrange. I do keep him informed of appointments, parent evenings at school etc but he never bothers to show.
I would like to know if he has any parental responsibility in the eyes of the law, if he does can I have this revoked in any way showing only myself as having sole responsibility ?? I am concerned that if something should happen to me our child will be placed with his 'father'.
LawAndParents Editor 09/02/2015 at 12:33 pm
@Vee.Even where joint residency is granted, child support rules still refer to one parent as the parent with care and the other to be the non resident parent. Maintenance goes from the non resident parent to the parent with care even when the child spends equal amounts of time with both parents. Sometimes negotiation can help to bring about an agreement that is more mutually acceptable though.
vee 04/02/2015 at 4:44 pm
can you tell me if my partner gets joint/shared residence does he have to pay maintenence? my partner has his child 3/4 nights a week and currently pays maintence, but when she is with us we provide everything she needs, his ex is concerned that her money may be affected i she agrees to a joint residency order.
LawAndParents Editor 30/01/2015 at 12:58 pm
@Kat. Sorry we're not sure what you're asking exactly - do you not want your ex to see your son?
kat 28/01/2015 at 10:59 pm
Hey I'm a full time mother and I have a 3 year old son my ex partner has never played a big part in my son's life my ex keep's on arguing with me he is not on the birth certificate and we are not married. Yet I let him see my son once a week with a over night stay I just made a change with not having night stay over has he is starting pre school in September so he can get in to a sable route he still can see him on Wednesday 10.30 till 8. Once my son starts pre school in September it will change to twice a week pick up from school. Yet my ex is not happy with it cause he can't have his way what do I do.
Dewdrop 09/01/2015 at 8:24 am
My partners son is 18 and still at collage . He lives with us 4days and his mother 3 days. We pay for all his college needs including bus fares all sports wear cricket lessons taking him all round the country so he can take part in cricket matches . Do we still need to pay his ex wife child matinance ?
geo.. 09/12/2014 at 12:54 pm
well im a dad of 2. not seen them for nearlly 3 months and they have been with me there hole life. and there 3 and 4. boy and girl. can i get a court order for her to grow up!! and if so how quick? cause this is starting to get a annoying..
LawAndParents Editor 05/12/2014 at 11:37 am
@littledaisy. Can it do any harm for them to have an appointment at a different optician? If you have the main day to day care, then is however, something you would normally arrange.
littledaisy 03/12/2014 at 7:40 pm
My children are resident with me, and see dad alternate weekends. they are registered at docs, dentist, opticians in Basildon. Their dad has booked to have appointment at opticians in London. Is there a law to prevent this? he has obviously claimed they live with him to book in first place...
LawAndParents Editor 21/10/2014 at 10:56 am
@mummy C. Have you asked the children? Are they happy to continue spending time with their father? Do you have concrete proof that this is going on and is it genuine bullying/harmful to the children? You need to get all the facts on this before acting. Children generally thrive better with contact with both parents but if you feel the children's safety is being jeopardised then of course you should take action to stop it.
mummy C 19/10/2014 at 8:12 am
I divorced my husband earlier this year. I have seen evidence that he bullied my sons while living with us, and it is still happening.

My question is, if i know my sons are being bullied by their dad and do not report it to anyone, am i just as bad as the dad and what could be done about my lake of compasion for my sons?

Many Thanks
LawAndParents Editor 13/10/2014 at 11:15 am
@gaza. The father of your child does have a right to go to the courts to request access to his children. If you have genuine worries that your children will be at risk when they are with their father, you should mention this in court.
gaza 10/10/2014 at 10:43 pm
Hi im a mother of two my children dad has never played a big part in they lifes but he is on the birth paper i keep having txtz telling me he takin me to court so he can have my kids round any women he likes and make them stay same bed and call them mom my daughter is only 1 and don't know who he is what the chances of this passing or will my children have be drag around all these women
moshpitmollly 06/10/2014 at 5:54 pm
I have been divorced for over 2 years now. Unfortunately my ex managed to get joint parental responsibility despite domestic abuse throughput our relationship. I believe this was because Cafcas just believed everything he said to them and then suggested to the court that it was in the children's beat interest that they still see their father. They have not seen their father for 18 months as he stole a substance amount of money from my daughter. He then got evicted from his rented property for none payment of rent. Since then we have no idea where he lives and he hasn't paid any maintenance. Can I apply to the court for sole parental responsibility?
LawAndParents Editor 17/09/2014 at 10:08 am
@flat. Yes you do unless there is any abuse etc involved. Inform her of this right and seek advice from a solicitor if you are not successful.
flat 14/09/2014 at 1:22 pm
My wife is just divorcing me and we where living together in same house she has know decided to leave with our children but will not tell me the address where she is going, I understand as joint PR I have a right to know where they are living and also if it is suitable for them to live there as she is removing them from the family home.
Ginger 08/09/2014 at 12:10 am
I am the boyfriend of a wonderful woman with two amazing children, sadly both have different fathers.
I would like pr for the girl as she has been abandoned twice in her 11years and I will be with her and her mother for ever now.
Can this be done?
kerrie 18/08/2014 at 7:11 pm
my 16 year old son is currently in care. but he desparetly wants to come home. I still have parental control. but im unsure as to where we go from here??
desperate mother 13/08/2014 at 12:59 am
I have tried and tried to get help from social services for my 16 yr old run away son. He alleges abuse both mental and physical from me, and has even alleged i beat him with a belt. Soc services.seem to be taking his side and i just cant get them to hear me. His soc worker never returns calls is always in a meeting, out or sick. I tried to get mediation,after agreeing with soc serv that he would and they put in place, he now refuses. He got thrown out of the drggies place after a physical spat between druggie and his partner,(son,s girlfriends mother) and he has now moved somewhere else with her (the g friends mum). I am going nowhere son refuses to speak or answer txt from anyone that knows me. Even on my birthday when i was hospitalized again with another bout of diverticulitus. Eveyone tells me there is nothing i can do. He has now given up college, lost his part time job, and is trying to cadge money off of friends.surely soc servicess should be doing more for him.i feel like i am in a hamster wheel,just going in circles. Don't they have a responsibility to sort this out? All i read says so. So do tel helplines. They say i am right and soc are not doing their job properly. Complaints are ignored, and i am told to get mental health help. Legal advice please
jesit 11/08/2014 at 1:04 pm
Hi!
I live in Sweden and i have a daughter in London UK. I do pay my contrubutions as the Sweden Uk agreement. Me and my daughter agreed to facetiming and skyping with her mothers help as much as it goes and visiting her as long as i am in London. Her mother doing all her best to we can not communicate or see each other in different ways. I have to beg her hundred times in atleast 2-3 weeks before we can manage a short skype. In our domestic agreement we made it clear that me and my daughter to skype on the week ends, but this never respected by the mother. The mother doesnt care much about the kids necessity of viting/see both parents. She her self didnt enjoyed her fathers presence and she thinks that it is "Normal" if her daughter not see her father as well. What is the Law says about such?
thank you for answering!
benjet 06/08/2014 at 5:58 pm
Are parents responsible for their 17 year old son if he causes damage to someone's car?
Mat 06/08/2014 at 11:57 am
I have a son I am no longer going out with the mother but have been seeing my son and we agreed on a payment until recently she suddenly told me she won't allow me to see my son and I received a letter from the csi what's rights have I Fathers should have the right to see there children why should it be them to go to court and pay just to get access to there son/ daughter I'm on a small amount of money so may not be able to afford solicitors fees what happens then please advice
LawAndParents Editor 28/07/2014 at 2:06 pm
@bt. You will have automatic parental responsibility for the two younger children if you're named on the birth certificates or were married at the time of their births. This means you have a say in any major decisions affecting their lives. You could also apply for a full residency order to ensure they live with you and become your permanent responsibility. As the older child is not yours, the situation would be different especially as she is now 16 and you should seek legal advice for a guardianship arrangement if that's what you both want.
bt 25/07/2014 at 11:18 pm
In July last year my partner went to Turkey for what was meant to be a short one week holiday, stayed for four weeks, came back for one week and went back to Turkey where she has been for as long as her successive tourist visas allowed. She has now applied for a longer residence permit. All this was financed from child benefit and child tax credits which were the family's main income. This left me to care for our two four year old and one eight year old child as well as a sixteen year old which is her but not my child. Can you tell me what our legal situation is and if I can obtain sole parental responsibility?
Smithy 10/06/2014 at 10:31 pm
Thanks for the reply.............. So even if my kids live with him full time I can still be held responsible if they don't go to school?
LawAndParents 10/06/2014 at 10:32 am
Hi Smithy. Yes you will still have parental responsibility even if they are not living full time with you. This is a brief snippet from the government website: "If you have parental responsibility for a child you don’t live with, you don’t necessarily have a right to contact with them - but the other parent still needs to keep you updated about their well-being and progress. You’re also responsible for: disciplining the child; choosing and providing for the child’s education; agreeing to the child's medical treatment; naming the child and agreeing to any change of name; looking after the child's property"
Smithy 09/06/2014 at 10:19 pm
My husband & I separated 7yrs ago & our 2 youngest children have lived with me since. They are now aged 13&15 and now want to live with their dad because he allows them to do as they please he has no rules or boundaries and Ive always been the parent to say no he would rather be their friend than a parent... They have both threatened to runaway if I don't let them live with him.. For the past 7yrs I've tried to give them boundaries and consistency with their lives and when they go to him they do what they want so it's left to me to punish them.. They don't go to school when they are with him they walk the streets until all hours drinking smoking getting into trouble with the police.... I don't want them to live with him full time but it's what they want... Am I still legally responsible for them with regards to them going to school? If they live with him full time?
YoungGran Editor 04/06/2014 at 2:21 pm
@desperatemother. Go to your son's school - speak to the welfare team, form tutor and everyone you can. Get as many people you can on your side. He is still of school age...so unless he manages to get an apprenticeship etc he will have to continue to be in education. Keep going with social services and any youth help organisations/charities like mentorUK and teenchallenge. You can't do this alone so need to seek the help of people who can step and do something. And yes, appreciagte platitudes are no good but do wish you the best of luck
Goldenbollo 29/03/2014 at 12:38 am
I have recently split with my partner and she is only letting me see my child at her mothers house while she is present. She will not let me take my baby to visit my parents or grandparents. I have parental responsibility. Do I have a right to have my child 'to myself' for awhile?
Jim 06/02/2014 at 7:02 pm
Im a father of 2 and recently split I now live with my partner I see my kids every weekend and pay Csa for them but I have an issue when taking my son back on a Sunday he crys and don't want to be there or live with his mum I just want to know my rights as a dad I don't won't to split the kids apart but my son is clearly not happy his 13 and my daughter is 8 I've tried speaking with there mum but I just get told there hers I'll have to do what she says...am I aloud to take him back home with me as histerical when dropping him off? I just not sure what to do...she also threatens me with not seeing them whenever I try talk about things
aussie01 Editor 31/01/2014 at 1:36 pm
@addie hi addie ,

You need to start keeping a detailed diary , never talk to her over the phone always use E-mail or text messages and NEVER delete them .

Every time she changes the date/ weekend you are supposed to have them , if this is a court ORDER , and it must have been an order made by the COURTS , then write it down in your diary , get someone like a next door neighbour or a non family member to witness the entry in your diary , and spend a few hours in a shopping mall if you have to on CCTV without the children . ( pay for a copy of the cctv if you wish to take to court as evidence .

Then she is in breach of court orders , this is basicly contempt of court , bearing in mind if she does it on a couple of occasions then it is punnishable by prison and she will lose custdody of the children and then she will have to have supervised visits with them .

I hopoe this has been of help to you . FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT AS A LOVING DAD !
adie 23/01/2014 at 3:01 pm
I am divorced and see my children every other weekend although the courts said one day every week and every other weekend. She lied to the csa about the amount of time i have them so i pay £71 a week and no she organised things on my weekends so i don't get them as much. What can i do, i love my children dearly and it is destroying me. She is also getting married on a weekend i am supposed to have them so i wont see them then either. Any advice
Shell 18/06/2013 at 3:59 pm
I have shared parental responsibility with my sons father but he doesn't live with us and doesn't really bother with his son. How can I obtain full responsibility?
Mishell.
noty 23/01/2013 at 9:50 pm
i am not married but my name is on the birth certificate pre dec '03. my partner who works away and is sometimes uncontactable wont sign the parental responsibility agreement. i have been informed that i am unable to give consent in times of emergency, where do i stand if i do? i know i can get her to court and win, but she's being stubborn. should she be abroad in this case?
dadaskswhy 01/11/2012 at 8:48 pm
Hi,

Firstly I don't know if this is the right forum or not, so sorry in advance.

This is sad and true.....

My late wife died on the Bank Holiday Monday in August 2007, 3 days before my son was due to start his final year at high school (yr 9). I went in to notify the school on their insetr day before he was due to go back to advise them what had happened..... they duely said that they would be observant.

Just before the October half term, he was being verbally bullied by at leasy one other student who was telling him that his Mum (my late wife) deserved to die. I did not realise this was happening till the night of a parents evening after the holiday. I raised this with his form teacher who once again said they would keep a watchful eye.

On New Years Day 2008, my son had a huge panic attack and I had to take him to the hospital, to be checked out, then he had to back later just after we got home because they had failed to do a specfic test, relating to how his Mum had died.

I went into the school on Jan 2nd to advise the teaching staff what had happened.... they noted it!

Bear in mind the school had put nothing into place for him regarding any counselling etc after his Mum died, this I didn't know until I went in on the 2nd Jan. They said they woukld arrange for a school nurse/health visitor to see both my son and I at his school.

This happened a few weeks later and the nurse said that she would arrange for my son to see a counsellor etc. after about 4 or 5 weeks I had a call from the deputy head, who was concerned about my sons progress.... and that he was not expected to perform well innhis Sats... was there a reason? I told her and and what the nurse said too.

A day or two later I got a call from the nurse to inform me that the school did not contribute any funding to have any access to counsellors.... We are now in February I had to arrange counselling for my Son. This I did through Cruse.

A couple of days after the nurse phoned me, the deputy head phoned me to ask if I had considered getting any counselling for my son!

Over the next 4 months he had counselling once a week, at home.

In june I was summoned to the school beaucse my Son was abusive to a teacher and then went and hid in the school, when they found him they contacted me, at this point I demanded a meeting with the Deputy Head, his form teacher, the SenCo and the teacher he was abusive towards.

The schoiol went on the immediate attack, the teacher concerned could not make the meeting and it was deemed a serious offence with possible exclusion. I asked if they were aware that he was prone to panic attacks, I told them this on the 2nd Jan, they shook their heads apart from his form teacher who went bright red, because she forgot to pass the message on.... At this point with about 4 weeks left at this school they decided to put in a place a "I need my space card"

So in short.... his last year at high school (yr 9) was a disaster, he learnt n
caz 14/10/2012 at 6:37 am
i am guardian to my child after 11yrs he told me he want to and live with his dad which i dont think is a good idea he always mood about the money hes had to pay for my son when we spite and he still does from this day on. but my son want to goto collage but he told me he want to go and live with his dad just to goto collage which i think not fair. then i found out that my ex is living with parter who she is given my son some where live and give him roof over his head,where do i stand with this i thou the father was sponce to look after my son not his parter so can any help with this where are my rights about all.
ASAP 02/08/2012 at 1:47 pm
I am originally from ireland i have been living in the UK since april. i have an 11month old son he has his fathers surname, and his father is on his birth certificate. i have no idea where his father is, rumour is he has gone to australia. i want to change my sons surname to my surname and do it soon before he starts creche etc. his father has never paid maintanance send birthday cards etc. how would i go about this??
tank you for taking the time to read this.
dingle 09/06/2012 at 11:12 am
i have a 21 month old boy fully named after his father ( first name and last ) his father walked away when he was 8 months old, not had contact since has paid 30 pound in csa !, i would like to change his name to his middle name and for him to have my last name, his father is on the birth certificate and when i tried to change his name by deed poll it said i would need to have sole parantel rights we was nether married how would i go about this any one know ????
terry 08/04/2012 at 9:31 am
Although we are seperated, i have full parental responsibility and regular contact with my children. I wanted to know who has the final say on what high school my children go to? There mother is adament that they are going to one school but the girls have told me that they want to go to another. The school the girls want to go to is closer to home and the great majority of there friends will be attending this school.
I want them to be happy in school therefore i want them to go to the school of there choice. what rights do i have in this decision?
Stu85 23/03/2012 at 7:09 pm
My daughter was taken to live in Germany 3 years ago( the matter was taken through the courts where P/r was given to me an such orders as seeing my daughter etc) now she is back in the Uk the mother is expecting me to do a 8 hour round trip to collect my daughter. Does it say any where that I have to make the return trip after the visitation or is it down to the mother to collect her the same way i have to. Cheers stu
Luv my child 28/02/2012 at 8:59 pm
My daughter is living with my ex-husband. He wants to sent her away to boarding school. What are my rights, I do not want her to go. There is no reason for her to go.
DJC823 22/02/2012 at 3:51 pm
I do not have PR for my new born as the mother has basically cut off comma and has said she will not consent to PR even though I pay maintenance and have constantly tried to initiate contact, even applying for mediation which she has turned down flat. How can I ensure I know my child is safe and well if she refuses any attempts I make to protect the baby?
woody 24/09/2011 at 9:49 pm
I have a son, aged nine months... i would like to change his surname to mine, no longer with the father and he has no contact at all. I named him as the father with a form as he was in another country being held on remand. He later was granted bail and fled the country... I do not want him to have any responsibility and he has shown that he has none for my son. It needs to be changed, for peace of mind also. I need to hold sole responsibility.
rach 15/08/2011 at 1:47 pm
I want sole parental responsibility for my Daughter (aged 2), i was never married to her father, however his name is on her birth certificate. He has had no interaction with Felicity for almost a year and doesnt contribute to her life be it financially or emotionally in anyway, he is completely void. I would very much like to change my daughter's last name to that of mine however am advised that i cannot unless i have 'Sole Parental Responsibilty' and so is this something i can apply to the courts for myself?
corkie 15/07/2011 at 11:28 pm
my stepdaughter as run away from home and she is living with her mates mum and refuses to come home. she is 16 years old and recently my wife received letters from the csa wanting maintenance. as my wife and her daughter are not talking to each other and we don't even know this women she is living with and would not be happy putting money into a strangers account.does anybody have any advice weather this woman can even get child maintenance.
emily white 12/07/2011 at 5:33 pm
My daughter was born december 1999 and she has her fathers surname. I just wondered where her father, my partner (we are not married), stood with regards to having parental responsibility for her.
SAZZY 17/06/2011 at 12:37 pm
My child is in foster care, what are my legal rights as a parent?

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