Single Parents' Rights

Author: Angela Armes

It is not uncommon these days to find parents bringing up children alone as a result of divorce or simply because the parent has no partner to speak of. But it is important to understand what rights you as a single parent have and how you should exercise them.

What Constitutes a Single Parent?

A single parent is a parent who lives alone with their children and is responsible for their day-to-day upbringing and wellbeing. As such, they are entitled to help and assistance from the local authority, if required, as well as financial assistance from the other parent.

Helping with Expenses

If a mother lives alone with her children, then the father of these children is responsible, in the eyes of the law, for contributing to their clothing, footwear and educational expenses. He may choose to come to an understanding with his partner to pay a regular amount for the upkeep of the children without having to resort to legal proceedings.

A father may deem it appropriate to ensure that his children are also living in a home that is – in his own estimation – fit for them and may contribute to the paying of a mortgage and/or rent.

Such agreements are best made without the influence of courts or government agencies, but it is wise to seek some written agreement in addition to a verbal in case a dispute leads to court proceedings being filed.

Parental Rights Checker

Check your legal rights as a parent on education, health and welfare decisions.

Try our Parental Rights Checker free, here on this site →

Visiting the Children

The law states quite clearly that each parent has the right to see his or her children after a split has occurred. The only circumstances that may prevent this is if there is a legitimate concern that the parent may try to remove the children to a location where they can't be found.

If there is a genuine concern that this may take place, the court will order that visiting is carried out at a place where others can be present to supervise.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Applying for Custody

A single parent – especially if he or she does not live with their children – has the right by law to Apply For Custody Of The Children. However, this is normally awarded to the mother unless there are firm grounds that the mother is not considered to be fit to take care of the children.

You should note that custody hearings may take considerable time to arrange and there will be required visits from the Family Proceedings Court to assess how the children are carried for.

Child Care and Benefits

Being a single parent can be an expensive and demanding task and there are provisions made for assistance with childcare. It is normal to find that single parents work during the week and need to call upon a childminder for support, so your local authority will have a list of registered childminders from which you can choose.

Also as a single parent – especially on a low income – you can apply for Child Benefit And Working Tax Credit (previously known as the Working Families Tax Credit). You may also be eligible for a reduction in the amount of Council Tax you have to pay, but not all of these benefits are available to all single parents.

You should contact your local authority for more details. You can find details of Working Tax Credits on Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs' website at www.hmrc.gov.uk.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Parental Rights Checker lets you check your legal rights as a parent on education, health and welfare decisions. Try it now →

102 questions

Ask Law and Parents a Question

Laura 09/06/2021 at 11:55 am

so the baby daddy hasn't been in his sons life for nearly a year and now that his back in Ireland he wants me to drop the baby or collect the baby from him, I feel like I shouldn't do it , because as a dad he should understand that if he picks him up he has to drop him off too , I just want to know if that's what he has to do before I say anything.

Dawnie 13/04/2021 at 10:15 pm

My son has been raising his two sons aged 2 & 3 for nearly two years on his own their mother barely saw them for the first year and a half now she said she wants full custody surely this can't be right where does my son stand?

pev 22/03/2021 at 11:08 am

iam a single parent dad I've recently had my son taken from me by social services for a small mark on my sons shoulder after he ran out in front of car I grabbed him just instinct but it was accidental hospital couldn't say wether or not it was now ive got them making things up to take him all together my parenting and his emotional state which have all been fine till they come in now I need some advice on what my rights are as this has got me right down on the the bottom now iam suffering with depression anxiety and never suffered with these before as iam being treated like Iam some one who harms kids and more

Rip 19/02/2021 at 7:10 pm

What rights does a mom have if the kids live with there dad

T1234 29/01/2021 at 7:10 pm

I am not with my baby’s father. My child is 3 month old. How often should I allow my baby to go to his dads?

Richard 30/09/2020 at 8:35 pm

Hello and good evening,

Financial obligations after break up with a mother of children that are not mine biologically...

What are the legal requirements for me to support her and the children that do not belong to me? I hear it's a year and then once we part ways, she can legally shaft me then?

I need some guidance with the situation please and thank you.

young mum 19/08/2020 at 3:26 pm

my son and i were kicked out by my partner and we had to go to my parents house. he kept all my bank cards and our passports and he didnt even let me take my clothes. hes also been taking benefits on our behalf. would he be able to take our son away from me further down the line? and what would be the best advice for the next step?

Jaldo 18/05/2020 at 12:14 pm

Hi, I'm a father of a 3 year old, in order to even be able to see her i had to spend thousands through court and had to fight my corner against appaulling lies and allegations made against me by her mother. Fortunately I managed to voice record her on a number of occaisions admitting to lying to her friends, family and the court of law about the allegations and they were then overturned but I did not press charges.

My question is, why is the law so in the mothers favour still yet men and women in modern day society are now seen as having equal rights? A child needs a father just as much as they need their mother but the courts immediately give everything to the mother to decide when and how a father can see their child! Why is it viewed that its acceptable for a child to only be allowed to see their own father once a week if they are lucky? Not really in the child's best interest is it? Surely mothers understand that this is why children grow up to resent them for keeping them away from their fathers their whole lives?

Cd 13/11/2019 at 2:14 pm

Hi just after some advice. As a separated parent my child's school are refusing to give me a separate parents evening meeting As they say " it's not school policy ".They say that it is in the child's best interest for both parents to attend together.I strongly disagree with this and find the statement a massive sweeping assumption. I have pressed them on the matter but they continue to stick to there policy .I find this tantamount to discrimination .any ideas on how I can peruse this further ?

Belle 25/08/2019 at 10:50 pm

I have a 3 year old the father was paying csa n now has stoped it bec he wants dna test which i dont mind doing bec i know he the father i havent slept with any other and he has decided also to contact social services as he thinks im talking to to be people with crimiel offences n thats not allowed near children again which im not doing nursery are happy with my son ip brining any advice what i can do i have blocked of my emails n told him from now i want things in writing n just want to know what my options are n he hasnt been involed with our son since birth

Carl 13/06/2019 at 5:23 pm

This assumes single parent mothers What about single parent fathers?

Taria 09/06/2019 at 1:21 pm

My daughters dad has our daughter every other weekend. He lives a distance 80 miles round trip from her at his parents. I've come to the compromise of meeting half way between his house and my house.... he refuses to do this as he wants me to do that round trip. When he has her he has full responsibility of her yes? To bring her to me at the half way point or all the way home or take her to school.... am I correct here?

Phoenix 12/05/2019 at 9:51 pm

Does the father of my baby (we are no longer a couple) have the right to demand looking round my parents house where I live with my baby. I'm only 18 and have always lived at home and not with ex boyfriend

Farlo 09/02/2019 at 5:06 pm

I split with my parter with who I have a daughter. Since I left the home , I paid to her some money to look after my daughter as a child maintenance. But despite doing that she doesn’t want me to visit or to pick my daughter up weekends. I look after too my daughter as much I can.
From sometime TIL now she doesn’t want me to see my daughter even to help her regarding her homework.
Whatever happens between she and me , she let my daughter pay for that.
So help me what’s should do to see my sweetheart. I even contact my daughter school to get involve.
But the situation still same.

Squeaky 17/09/2018 at 1:20 pm

I am single mum who lost her partner (boys dad) and the in-laws have made my life hell and his nan has a new boyfriend who I don't know or trust but they keep blackmailing me into letting my boy see him and they don't like it because I won't let it happen. I need help to know what I can do about

J 28/08/2018 at 11:36 pm

I am a single mother and currently am living in Azerbaijan. The father of my child is British and has chosen to let our baby keep his last name. However, he has decided to leave us and never speak or see us again. He refuses to help us financially and says that I should work and earn the money myself. I am not able to work at the moment due to having to look after they baby. Is there anything I can do?

LawAndParents Editor 29/06/2018 at 3:35 pm

Your husband can apply to the courts for a prohibited steps order to prevent you taking your son abroad for more than two weeks. It will be up to a judge to decide whether or not to grant this order. The amount o maintenance the father pays will not have any bearing on this decision.

SA 28/06/2018 at 9:49 am

I am a single mother to a 5yr old boy who hardly see his father maybe 2-3 times a month. I was planning to leave the country for a few months tho study abroad and would like to know my rights as I have found out from friends that his father is trying to stop us from leaving the country and getting coustdy , im concerned as his father doesn’t help to support our son and I’m afraid he will take my son away

Dhug 24/06/2018 at 9:47 pm

My son is always getting let down by his dad and when his dad does have him my son stays with someone else rather than with his dad. His dad has a history of drug and alcohol abuse. My son used to look forward to seeing his dad however now he would rather stay with me as his dad doesn't do anything with him. I currently sont work but I want to go for full custody. I'm happy for his dad to have a few hours visitation a week but not overnight stays but he won't after to this. How do I go for full custody when on a low income?

Vix 19/06/2018 at 2:56 pm

Hiya me and my husband have been split since November.. he sees the children 2 hours a week and refuses to help with childcare.. which means i cant work.. can he refuse to help with this. I also have stated to him that i want more time for the girls..which he refuses.. what arw my best options

suzie 11/06/2018 at 6:30 pm

hi I spilt with my ex partner a few week back, he was the one that was earing the money and he was getting housing benefit and child tax credit, but he cancelled that after he left about three weeks ago , I don't work and i am still waiting to hear about the child tax credit and housing benefit ,so basic i am living of my mum giving me money and my ex partner is still help me out intill this comes though, the job centre is trying to make me get a 16 hours job a week but my youngest daughter is not coping with her dad not around as much any more, so I don't want to get a job atm, DO I HAVE TO FIND A JOB? and what im a intitled too?

LawAndParents Editor 18/05/2018 at 3:07 pm

This is often taken into account if you take it to court. Try mediation first to try and arrive at sensible agreement for finance and for child arrangements.

Rosie25 17/05/2018 at 11:30 pm

Hi, I’ve split with my partner a few months ago but he’s now getting difficult over money. We had a deed of trust in place but he now wants more - I gave up my job to look after his children. Can this not be taken in to account when discussing money? I didn’t earn because of that? They are young and I did everything whilst he worked. We shared bills/mortgages.

LawAndParents Editor 13/04/2018 at 2:30 pm

Why would you do this? Sorry it's really not clear what you're considering or what your question is.

GQ 12/04/2018 at 2:20 am

If you don’t live with the child’s father and you are claiming benefits and receive benefits as a single parent, does him putting money into your acc and you transferring to him , affect your benefit claim in anyway?

LawAndParents Editor 06/03/2018 at 11:40 am

You don't have to be present, in fact contact without you around might help him develop a better bond with his son. You shouldn't have to be subjected to any abuse because of this.

Jtl 03/03/2018 at 4:30 pm

I have a 10 month old with my ex, he currently has supervised visits with our son with a family member present. He is verbally abussive to me so I recently left him with my son and family member without me. He is now complaining he doesn’t like it. Am I doing the right thing? He name calls and be little me regularly, so I am trying to let him see his son without having to face him.

LawAndParents Editor 02/02/2018 at 2:48 pm

Unless you have already made a child maintenance claim (officially) in the past, you can make one retrospectively unfortunately.

DK 01/02/2018 at 12:41 am

If the child's father has been in the Childs life for all his life in and out, but never been stopped visiting rights. But had never paid more than £600 in maintenance in 18 years. Do I have as a single mum for this 18 years struggling and about to lose our family home, Do I have rights to backdate a claim for maintainance To Help save his sounds home. He has Two business , he's married now also.any advicw would be appreciated.thanks

LawAndParents Editor 19/01/2018 at 3:12 pm

You should apply for full residence of 50/50 shared residence. You will be able to give your reasons at the hearing (unless you can agree with the mother at mediation beforehand).

Ky 18/01/2018 at 8:33 pm

Hi I am single mum of a 1 year old daughter my ex partner who's is her dad was at the birth of our daughter and he was there when we registered her and she also took his name but I am worried now cause if I was to change her last name would I need his permission and what parental rights has he got as he don't pay her and only see her every now and then? Please help me with my questions

Kk 17/01/2018 at 3:08 am

What if you don't want to have contact with the other parent anymore, because of threatening behaviour, abusive languages and fights. What could be done in this scenario..

Single father 12/01/2018 at 8:14 pm

I'm separated from my wife for over a year now. She's living together with another guy and they have a son already. We have a 5 year old daughter which I'm taking care about most of the time. My little girl is always with me I'm the one bringing her to school every day and the one that is also picking her up. When she is sick I will be the one to bring her to the doctor. I have the advantage I can work from home when necessary so I can take care about my daughter. The mother of my daughter is not contributing anything. She never will bring my daughter to school or will go pick her up.Even when my daughter is sick she will not even come by to see how she is doing. Then she will just send message asking how my daughter is and that's about it. My daughter is with her mom every other weekend.Was reading here before that court is mostly deciding in favour of the mother when it comes to custody. Would that still be the case with everything what is going on now. Will court take into account with what is happening now.Would it be possible being a single father who is already doing everything what is possible for his child the court will still decide that custody would go to the mother of my daughter. Was told because I'm a single father i would not stand a chance.

Rose 24/11/2017 at 3:43 pm

Worried 2 children being kept of school so parent can't pick them up for weekend access the parent that as residency being really nasty even though there is an enforcement order and he as just been given community service for not complying with it

ims 21/11/2017 at 11:24 am

I have a 5 year old boy and have always been a single parent to him. His father has never paid child maintenance and is currently being persued by child maintenance services. He has organised many days to see his child and at the last minute he lets him down so he has not seen him in approximately a year. His family are also very abusive towards me and threaten me. He has only had my son once on his own and on this on occasion he took him miles away in a strangers car without a car seat etc. without me knowing and returned him to me hours late. So there is no trust for my son to be in his care or the care of any of his family. What are my rights? And what are his rights?

LawAndParents Editor 03/11/2017 at 11:19 am

She can't prevent contact on this basis. Tell him to ask for a mediation session to make a formal agreement over child arrangements. If she refuses, he may have to apply for a court order.

Mum and Son 02/11/2017 at 11:31 am

I'd like to ask a question on behalf of my son, and as a concerned grandmother. My son has a 6 year old daughter. He and his partner split 4 years ago and he was living in a one bedroomed flat until last week when he moved into a 4 bedroomed house with his 2 best mates in order to provide a better environment for his daughter to visit and to improve his financial position. He has his own living room and 2 of the bedrooms in the house, one for our granddaughter. She is so excited that her daddy has moved from the old flat, which we witnessed when she and our son took us on a phone 'tour' around the house last Sunday, and particularly excited when we got to the room our son has made for her. Our son and his ex agreed 4 years ago that he would have her overnight 2 days a week. However, he went to collect her yesterday as usual after work to find that there was no-one home. He then went to his ex's mother's home to find also that there was no-one there. In this time he opened his phone and tried phoning his ex. No reply. He then noticed a text message whuch he thought may have been from her. It was from a solicitor informing him there would be no access to his daughter and that he would receive a letter. He phoned that solicitor this morning who was on a day off but it seems the gist of the letter was concerning who lives in the house. I must also point out that his ex has a new boyfriend who has stayed over at her house on a few occasions while my granddaughter has been there. How can that situation be any different? My son has never met the new boyfriend. I'd like to know where my son stands legally in this scenario. Any help gratefully received. Thank you.

Polly 05/10/2017 at 10:21 pm

Hi I need advice. My ex-husband has been underpaying child maintenance, so I approached the child maintenance group. They have stipulated an amount that he needs to pay from 1.11.17. However, he has now not paid anything at the beginning of October. Just because Child Maintenance Group have worked out how much he is to pay from 1.11.17, it doesn't mean he is entitled to pay nothing in October. The children still exist. What can I do?

LawAndParents Editor 27/09/2017 at 10:09 am

Please discuss this with your local council's housing department and social services. If they see you having the children as a better alternative to fostering/adoption, they may be able to support you in an application.

MT 25/09/2017 at 11:52 am

Hi,
My ex girlfriend has 4 children, 1 is mine. She has been neglectful and social services are at the point of taking the kids from her.
I work and want to have the two younger girls as my daughter is very close the other girl girl.
But I can't afford a 2 bedroom place, logically if (when :( ) the children are taken from her, she would have a house which she alone would be living in, I'm guessing the council would want to put her in a one bedroom place.
Can I apply to take over the house? this way I could maybe keep all the children and they know the area and have their school there.
Any advice is weclome.
Thanks

ASD 01/09/2017 at 10:00 am

Hi, I left my husband with our five year old son in December last year. He was controlling and emotionally abusive to myself and our son. I suffered anxiety and panic attacks and was worried about the impact of it all on our son. The final straw was when he pushed our son and hurt him. He blamed my son for coughing in his face and had absolutely no remorse for his actions. I contacted Splitz Support Services who reported the incident to Social Services who then got involved. It was a difficult decision for me at the time (something which I now regret) as I do want my son to know his dad but I need to build trust so my husband sees our son every other weekend. He has tried several times to change this arrangement but I have stuck fast to this arrangement to ensure stability for our son which my husband never seems to understand. My husband has taken four holidays in the last year so has missed many opportunities to see our son. Over the summer holidays he had our son on four consecutive days three times so I feel that I was more than fair. I am concerned about certain issues as my son has come on several occasions and told me things that are totally inappropriate to tell a child, i.e. "daddy says you won't let him take me to football as it's not his weekend with me." "Daddy said stay away from mummy at school otherwise she'll embarrass you". I have emailed my husband about certain issues and he just turns it around saying I'm being unfair because of the military schedule I'm keeping. He is now taking me to Childrens Court for more access and I'm extremely concerned about the influence he is having on our son now let alone more time to do more damage. I feel that he is using our son to emotionally punish me for leaving but what he doesn't seem to realise is that he's abusing our son in the process. Where do I stand going to Court as I feel he would not only try to manipulate me but manipulate our son too to get what he wants. I only ever want what is best for my son to grow as a normal happy child who feels safe and secure.

LawAndParents Editor 30/06/2017 at 12:57 pm

You can take this back to court for an "enforcement order" as the father is not sticking to the terms of the order that is in place.

Smiler 29/06/2017 at 7:46 pm

I brought up my daughter for 15 years completely on my own, her dad not around at all or contributed, then he suddenly gets in touch and i arrange for him to start seeing her, then maintence found him and wanted what was due, he then declares if i dont stop them taking money off him, he will ruin my life. After alot of advice i didnt stop them taking money, so he then declared he wasnt the dad and dragged me to court. Then when that was done and got the answer we all already knew then he tries to get full custody, and when he only got joint instead, he then started his campaign of lies to my daughter to get her turn of me and move in with him. Now the court had order whichever parent she lived with, they had to ensure our daughter stayed in touch and was able to visit the other parent as often as she wanted, yet iv not seen her for a very long time, but loads of messages from her saying she wants to come and see myself and her siblings but hes preventing it with various exuses. What can i do about this. From what i have been told shes been in hospital and everything and hes not informed me of any of it. I really dont k ow what my rights are or what to do. Help please.

LawAndParents Editor 26/05/2017 at 12:31 pm

There is nothing that deals with travel costs specifically here. If you can't agree on the arrangements for contact between you, then you may have to consider mediation and/or a court order. He cannot withhold maintenance payments for this reason unless you agree to it. If you have no specific contact arrangements documented and you share care of the children, it's difficult to comment on the legality of his refusing to return the children. Cany ou not come some arrangement whereby you drop them off and he returns them? That splits the cost equally...it is only 10 miles which shouldn't cost a great deal anyway.

Hel 24/05/2017 at 12:02 pm

Hi my ex partner has threatened to reduce my maintenance if I don't agree to pick up and drop off our children at his house over 10miles away. We separated 3 years ago and he met a woman and moved to her house over ten miles away and now wants me to do do pick ups and drop offs? He said if I don't do it he will not bring our children back home andcalculate the mileage to deduct from my maintenance. Is there a law that I have to do this? Can he keep the children without my consent? We were never married and his name is in the birth certificate so he said he is allowed to keep the children extra nights without my consent?

LawAndParents Editor 03/04/2017 at 12:38 pm

No, there is no reason why your ex should claim the child benefit and child tax credits that you currently claim unless he looks after them for the majority of the time, which you have indicated he doesn't.

Bear 31/03/2017 at 1:47 pm

Hi, I am seeking advice.
I separated from my parter 3 years a go after he assualted me. We have two children aged 13 and 17. He has also recenlty had a 'physical' arguemnt with our daughter. I have never withheld access to the children despute all of this as they have expressed a desire to forgive their father, so they spilt their time between us both and I have not asked for maintenance payments because of this. He earns slightly more than me in salary alone and I receive benefits top ups as I also work full time but on a lower income.
My ex is now experiencing financial difficulties due to poor decision making in the past and is expecting me to sign over the top up benefits I receive so that he can manage financially, despite the fact that I also support the children as much as he does. Obvioulsly this will mean that I cannot sustain my current living arrangements, meaning that he may end up with the children living with him full time. I feel that he is being unreasonable and is using this to enusure the children live with him full time, something he has expressed previsouly. Given that he was controlling and abusive during our 16 year relationship, should I seek legal advice or simply refuse to go along with his wishes?
My concern is that i am being pushed away form having any say in the lives of our children.

p1nky 12/02/2017 at 7:31 pm

Is this aloud. Someone I know is single and works part time the father of the kids is always at her house but he has his own place. So they get away with claiming single. But when she is at work he stays in her house and looks after the kids. Inside of taking them to his. Is this not fraud.

LawAndParents Editor 11/01/2017 at 12:44 pm

The length of time she can take daughter for will depend on the type of residency/contact order you have in place. She must get your consent if you she wishes to take your daughter abroad, but there's no obligation to tell you where. Most parents share this information out of courtesy and arrange for the children to contact the other parent while they're away.

Jimmy 10/01/2017 at 6:20 pm

Hiya .
My ex partner is taking my 8 year old daughter on holiday in Feb . I have asked her where she is taking her and how long for but she refuses to tell me . Have I any rights as a father to be told where she is taking my daughter ?

briansb 24/09/2016 at 1:29 pm

hi my ex on thursday told me that my son was disgusting dirty and smelly when she picked him up from the childminders at 5.45pm i then text the childminder to see if he was left that way and she confirmed that no he was clean and proper. then because that didnt work she then went on a tirade about ho the baby smells of smoke when he leaves my house etc and that i never bath. on this day (the day the accusations were made) my exes mother went to pick my son up from the childminders (who is a very old and dear friend of the ex mother) the childminder then text me another statement to which she added that she does notice that he smells like smoke which she didnt mention in the first statement. now it is my belief that the carer in question need to be unbiased and impartial on occasions such as this and it seems she was influenced by my exes mother who is a friend of hers to change her statement. is there anything i can do about this? as nobody smoke in the house and every effort is made to avoid smoking around the baby even when outside. any help would be greatly appriciated as this is driving me mad that they are working together against me

LawAndParents Editor 08/08/2016 at 2:26 pm

You might need to seek help from a mediation service. They should be able to help you construct an agreement about both finances and children, which can be made legally enforceable. You can find a mediation service here.

Anon 05/08/2016 at 8:49 pm

After 6 1/2 years of marriage my husband and I have decided to end our marriage this is after several attpts to repair as we have 2 children aged 5 and 2. I gave up my full time job after 2nd child and do 4 hours per week admin and look after children now so my income doesn't cover anything. We have a mortgage and I don't want to move out, sometimes he is reasonable and says he is moving out and that he will help me financially other tines he us horrible and says then he'll not give me a penny and refuses to leave. Where to stand on getting him to move out without it being a huge fall out and making sure he supports us. I'm not sure how much I will get yet for child tc and income support.

Sezza1983 28/07/2016 at 7:25 am

Hi, I am a mother of 4 and me and my childrens father split 8 years ago, he lives in cumbria and I live in leeds, we decided at that point he would take care of 2 children and I would take care of the other 2, since then he doesnt make any effort to see the 2 children I live with, I make the effort to go see my children who live with him as much as possible around work and school, however it is always me making the effort, surely there should be something that says he should bring my children to see me, he just makes it awkward so I cant see them or makes me travel and pay the costs to see my children, I dont even have a contact number for him I have to contact his girlfriend cos he refuses to talk to me, any advice on what can be done would be much appreciated, it is very frustrating as all I want is to see my children

Kayden mum 25/07/2016 at 8:05 pm

Hi my partner left me half a year ago after 10 years together however we were never married. Since he's left he now has a new girlfriend which he says he ha been with for 5 months. My son is a year and a half and subsequently my ex has now moved in with his new partner. Subsequently my concerns are my son being around a complete stranger, after 5 months my ex can't even know her that well yet and it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable that my ex won't let me meet her just to put me at ease nor will he give me the address of where she lives which I think is totally wrong however I don't know where I stand legally can you please help.

precious 13/07/2016 at 1:33 pm

I broke up with my my babydaddy .and I stay with other men and my child was staying with my parents he ddnt support the child.until I ask him to stay with the child coz I was not working..and now he is married he won't allow me to see my son.what can I do

LawAndParents Editor 11/07/2016 at 12:18 pm

We can't really say what the courts will decide. They will consider all the circumstances and make a decision based on what they think to be the best interests of your daughter.

Anon 08/07/2016 at 7:47 pm

Hi I'm wanting some advice on child contact. My ex has applied to the court for child contact (every other weekend) I stopped his contact with out child as he wasn't complying with drs requirements to keep a food diary to establish what's causing Allergic reactions. I've booked a short break in august and have now been informed my ex is marrying on one of the days we are away. Would the judge stop me taking my child away (it's all paid for and she knows she's going) so she can attend her fathers wedding to a woman she's only seen 3 or 4 times for a few hours at a time?

ka700 17/04/2016 at 11:54 pm

I am separated and the primary carer for my son of almost 3 years old.
his father chose not to have a relationship with him for 1 and a half years, and then made re contact to re establish his relationship. i have facilitated contact but this is not enough for him and he is taking me to court.i have a solicitor who is advising me but would like your help in understanding the difference a residence order and a recital? what are my rights under these orders.

kind regards

LawAndParents Editor 14/03/2016 at 2:22 pm

This is for you to decide between you. If you decide to stop contact completely and your ex decides to pursue it via the courts, they will say what the collection and drop off arrangements should be.

Kate 11/03/2016 at 11:58 am

I am a single parent of an 11 month old and moved away from his dad whilst pregnant. This was because he did not want me to proceed with the pregnancy and I also had no support, permanent job or big enough accommodation. I now live 100 miles away. My ex is only willing to have our son one weekend in 4 and feels I should meet him half way for drop off and pick ups. I work full time and do all the childcare myself so feel that he should do the drop off and pick up in these circumstances. If he was proposing more regular contact I would happily meet him half way but under h proposals I really wouldn't get a break which I desperately need. Where do I stand?

LawAndParents Editor 18/02/2016 at 1:01 pm

If no formal arrangements or court orders were in place then you may have to get an agreement drawn up. If you the claims are all in your name, can you make your partner leave?

Lillysdad 17/02/2016 at 9:47 am

Hi I'm meant to be a single father I claim child benefit and housing benefit and income support for my daughter and have been the permanent figure in her life. This is because my ex partner was arrested for being violent to me(she's been violent and controlling for a number of years) and when she was on police bail she wrote a letter to our council and said she was moving out and was happy for our daughter to carry on staying with me. After the police bail had ended then she just came back to the flat (she's still on the tenancy) and keeps saying I can't do anything about it. When she was on police bail she still saw her daughter regularly and since then but we are arguing daily and I need to know where I stand with my daughter. Even tho I'm on CB does this still mean she has more rights? If she won't leave the property can I leave with my daughter because my daughters at serious risk of hearing our arguments? If I do this can she get me arrested for child abduction like she says she will? She's saying she wants me to leave without my daughter so she can have the flat back. Do I have to do this?

LawAndParents Editor 16/02/2016 at 2:39 pm

It may be that legal action is your only resort in a case where all communication channels have been closed down. Is there a friend or family member who could help liaise?

ethans dad 14/02/2016 at 11:13 pm

Hi I am a single parent but do not have my son living with me, his mum says I'm childisha and do not contact him, she has blocked me on facebook, and her phone is always off please can you help me as I'm not sure what to do now

SoSad 23/01/2016 at 8:05 pm

I had to take my children to the contact centre to see their father today. My daughter did not want to go and my son didn't want to either. When my daughter was 6 he got into her bed and squashed her n she told me sticky stuff was on her it was slimey and discusting.. That happened 6 years ago and not one agency helped me back then. The father told my daughter today that he has letter from police saying that there was no evidence. Yet my daughter remembers the moment when that happened and I as a mother have been fobbed off and not listened too. My daughter is suffering and this has been effecting her all this time. I am at a complete loss as what to do and the fact that I am suffering myself with ptsd as a result from all this. I am crying out for help and social services won't help as they are at no risk at present and will not help me as I am a single mother. I feel that all this was not investigated properly had I have been a victim of poor treatment from services who are meant to protect and ensure safety to people like myself and others in these situations. I am willing to do whatever it takes to get justice and I hope that this message reaches someone because this is my breaking point and I will not give up and I will not be pushed to the side and he will not get away with what he did to my daughter and I do not want my son influenced by him as he has not done anything I'm the last few years until last year in June to pursue contact and can cass have lied and twisted everything to make him look good and me look bad. Please help I am desperate for some advice.

LawAndParents Editor 21/01/2016 at 12:27 pm

There is no reason why you shouldn't be able to negotiate this with the children's mother. If you are prevented from doing so, seek advice from CAB, you may be able to create an agreement via a mediation service. Alternatively you can apply to the courts for a specific issue order.

Gav 20/01/2016 at 5:59 pm

Hi.. My children have moved to.Peterborough... I am now only seeing them.once a month, and stay in a hotel over night, and get return train, I wish to.speak to.them.on Skype, I have phone contact but I.want to.chat on this to.see them... Have I got rights for this..

Need advice 18/12/2015 at 6:03 pm

My partner has recently left me and our 8 month old and our unborn child. He doesn't have a place of his own yet and he is staying with his mother.
I have asked him if he can come and See our child at the family home until he finds somewhere of his own to live. Although now after two visits he is now insisting that he takes our son to his mothers house and has not bothered to see our child at all now. And is refusing to make time for him but still see's his other children.
There are reasons that I would prefer my child not to go with his dad to his mothers house, and only to go with his dad when he had got his own place to live.
What are my rights on this?

LawAndParents Editor 15/12/2015 at 11:28 am

You've taken the right approach in introducing your children on neutral territory and just as a friend. It's clear your children's interests are at the heart of your actions. Your ex wift does seem to be a little unreasonable about this from what you've said. She cannot stop you seeing the children on this basis without a court order (prohibitive steps).

Ace1999 14/12/2015 at 7:37 pm

Hello,

Me and my wife now ex split in December last year and I started dating my partner in the middle of August this year and on the weekend I introduced her and her kids to my 2 kids at a soft play ie neutral location. She was introduced as a friend and both sets of kids got on brilliantly better than we thought. Me and my partner during this time (2.5hrs) showed and did no kissing, flirting and cuddling of any kind. I told my ex and that the kids got on well with my girlfriend and her kids and now she is saying I need to leave it another 6 months until she decides if they can see her again as it is causing unnecessary upset to my kids!
She has basically said if I go behind her back like this again we have big problems!!! I have said that this relationship is not a short term thing but it's falling on deaf ears as she is their mother and knows what's best for them!
Can my ex legally dictate what I do with my children and who they are around during this time?
I am a father who sees them during the week and have them every other weekend and have always paid child maintence on a weekly basis, pay towards clothes days out birthdays etc and want to be involved as much as possible but the same time I should be allowed to have a life.

Please can you shed some light legally on this subject please

LawAndParents Editor 12/11/2015 at 2:09 pm

Both parents have the same rights.

clacla 11/09/2015 at 6:03 pm

M'y daughter has twin babies a boy ans a girl. At their 4 month old anniversary she left the appartement she was sharing with her ex companion because she couldn,t bear any longer his alcolic problem.
The night before she left the place the companion had switched off on thé main switch thé électricity and water which means she was in thé dark with her babies. She phoned me to asked for help. I send over the police for help ans the companion was asked to reset back the electricity ans water and that night thé police aasked hum not to stay at the house as m'y daughter was vert scared.

Thé dark zone in this story we dont Know if he was held into custody because he's a liar and at the same time he's been able to fool nearly everyone and we're notre able to get hold of the true statement.
He's making as if he's thé victim when hé doesn't Côme to sée his kids and acusing m'y daughter un stoping hum trop seeing them and hé gold m'y daughter thé juge will asked her to stop breast feeding and i's grue when she went to court all that he told my daughter dit was thé dame thing the juge pronounced

LawAndParents Editor 05/05/2015 at 2:21 pm

@JJ. If the agreement was made officially, then the employer has breached the agreement. You should follow the steps advised in this article.

jj 28/04/2015 at 10:10 am

Hi, I am a single parent of a 16 and 10 year old. I work 16 hours pw and it was agreed when i started that they would work around my kids, as in, school hours so no weekends or after school times. Recently my boss has started to give me shifts up to 6pm and weekend shifts of 6 hours. I have no childcare and cannot get a childmider due to the hours being different each week. Sometimes I only know what I am working the week before.
I have had to have my 16 year pick my younger daughter up from school and stay home with her on the weekends. It has been very difficult for them both and me, however, now my 16 year old has a weekend job and is going to college, not getting home untill 6.30pm during the week days, which means I have no way of working during the hours I am being given and being able to provide child care for my youngest daughter.
I have reminded my boss that this was an agreement made at the start, but she just says that it is the same for everyone else who works there.
I am the only single parent at our place of work.
I am looking into requesting flexi hours if my boss does not adhere to our initial agreement, but i was hoping you may be able to inform me whether my circumstances are eligable and what my options are otherwise.
Thank you,
Kind regards.

LawAndParents Editor 05/02/2015 at 10:27 am

@brickit. Talk to your ex first and let him know how you feel, it may be that he will agree to be accompanied by someone else (your son's grandparents?) etc. Alternatively, do you have someone who would accompany you as it's only for two weekends a month. It would be a shame to stop your son seeing his father if their relationship is good. If this doesn't work then you may need to go back to the courts and see if there is an alternative solution - or that certain conditions are added to the visitation order.

Brickit 01/02/2015 at 9:57 pm

Hi, I have been split up from my child's father for about a year. We arrange visitation rights between us and this usually works well. We live about 200 miles apart and I usually meet him half way as he refuses to come all the to me to pick our son up. He has him for 2 weekends in a month and for the rest of the time he is with me. The relationship we had was pretty volatile and when I drop my son to him and I'm alone he has started shouting at me in front of our son. I feel intimidated by this and I'm not comfortable dropping my son of to him what I'm alone. I'm just looking for some advice on this as I feel a bit stuck. Thabks

prime 27/07/2014 at 5:04 pm

my wife left the family home nearly five years ago, then she got a new job with a 2 bed house and car thrown in. she signed our council over to me and i became our two boys sole carer and provider. we agreed verbely that she would have them every wednesday and every other weekend (sat morn til monday afternoon). that worked ok until end of may 2014, when she lost her house car and job and her partner walked out on her. since then she has been demanding the youngest child and the child benefit for him so she can get a council house, and also telling the kids she wants 50/50 access. she also threatens to take me to court every time i see her.The kids have been seeing there mum and staying at there uncles when its her time to have them. there uncle has one spare bedroom. she has asked me if she can have them for a week at the begining of august. i dont know what to do? as their dad i am there sole carer and provider.

linni 03/06/2014 at 7:54 pm

i have worked in my company for nearly 7 years i have worked 9 till 3 monday to friday i am a support worker for autistic adults with learnin dissabilities & other assosiated challenging behaviour .
at the moment my company is trying to change not only my hours & days but everybodys
to have all of us staff work a 14 hour day shift full time day would be 3 on 3 off i am a single parent to my 10 year old son can my company force me to work the long days i love my job but not the thought of having to work the long shifts i originally went to work there to get my son in a routine & to b able to spend time taking him to school

Laura87 31/01/2014 at 4:52 pm

How much does it cost to change my children's surname and could the name be used on official documents such as a passport?

Linke 25/11/2013 at 7:51 pm

Help ! I'm separated from my husband and we are still in the same house , until it sales ! What next ? Is there any way I can stay in the house ? And get help with the mortgage ? What are my rights ? What do I do ?

wardie 29/08/2013 at 12:12 am

my husband & I are seperated but still living in the house together until it sells.He is not working and we are struggling to pay bills. If he moves in with a relative , what financial help can I get to help with the bills. We have two children under 7, and I work 16 hrs a week.

mand 24/05/2013 at 9:53 am

I am a single mother with two children I have a monthly mortgage of £600 per month besides other benefits such as tax credit which I am claiming can I get any help with benefits to pay my mortgage interest

kilcik 24/04/2013 at 5:56 pm

I am a single Mother I look after one child under 14 I work as a Care assistant from 7pm to 7 am. My older son who is 23 years old looks after my younger son while I am at work. My older son studies at university and works part-time during daytime.My employer wants to change me from working at night to work during the day from 7am to 7pm. My employer has told me to find someone to look after my child while at work. I cannot find anyone to look after my son so early in the morning. She refuses to let me start work from 9am to 4am. What should I do?

Debs 25/01/2013 at 11:29 am

I'm a single parent of 3 girls one 16 one14 and one 7 I work part time but my employer keeps giving me weekend work from tea time till gone 2 in the morning I have to get family in to babysit or my niece and I have to pay her £20 plus it costs me £7 pound to get home it is affecting my children now because I work late hours I have asked for different hours but have been told that I can't because its flexi time can I leave and go on job seekers till I find a job that's day time

white 14/11/2012 at 10:04 pm

I split with my partner one month ago, my son is 3 1/2 years old since he born I been given to her cash every week for my children wich se never signed any document for my. now I said to her she have to signed if I give any money if not I have to paye by cheque which she refuse, also she want to applied for full custody parental, of corse becouse now she have new home from the Housing associacion.my cuestion is what I have to do now I want to no my rights. thank you

zoe 26/08/2012 at 5:34 pm

i am recently seperated from my husband, who walked out on me and our three children aged 6, 3 and 2 the oldest is not biologically his but he has brought him up as his own since he was the age of 8 months old, he does see all the children but my question is as he has a new partner which is not serious do i have the right to tell him she is not allowed to see children as it is not serious and i dont want random woman walking in and out of their lifes.

Barnyboy 12/08/2012 at 8:20 pm

Hi,I met my x partner when she had first child of 14 months he's nw 3yr 4 months old and calls me dad and thinks I'm his dad,we also nw got a 11 month old child together ,we nw separated and at first I was able have the older child over night ever week but nw shes stopped me having him and nw says I'm nt his dad and I can't see him no more.....I know I can fight for access for my child but were I stand with the other child?

Josephine 21/07/2012 at 5:31 pm

my son split from his partner . He has a daughter who lives with partner

olls 17/07/2012 at 11:17 pm

my girl friend split from their childrens partner 18 months ago. after much emotional blackmail and generally being very devious my girl friends situation is settling .....but he wishes to keep the children in private school. my girl friend knows full well that the goal posts have changed so many times on this issue that she wishes to put the children into a good state school. there fore giving certainty to their education and also to take away the leverage financially he will have over the familys life.
when she stated this to his solicitor ....the reply was that they would start court proceedings in this regard.......would a court be able to over rule her wishes and make the children stay in a pvt school.???

emy 01/07/2012 at 1:40 pm

I am physically separated (without legal separation papers) from my ex-husband for last three years. Now i have contacted a solicitor for my divorce. I have a boyfriend since last two years. Now since one month i am pregnant with my boyfriend's baby. I don't want to bring into record my boyfriend's name until my divorce is confirmed. Can i keep this pregnancy from my boyfriend even my divorce from my ex-husband is not yet initiated? What is my legal position?

rachy 01/07/2012 at 8:41 am

Please help I am a single mum with an eleven year old son. I have been working for a company for the last 5 months and they have treated me extremely badly. I have not had any breaks. There is no toilet roll or milk for a cup of tea. And i have been shouted at for no reason that my nerves have become very bad. Yesterday I was due my wages for the month and the manager has paid my other two colleagues but is with holding my wages. I currently have barely any money to live off as all my bills have just left my bank account for the month and i m very upset. Who can I go to as I really don't want to keep working for this company because they haven t paid me and are treating me so badly. Where can I get financial help would I be able to claim benefits again or go back on job seekers allowance until i can find something else?
Someone Please help....

William 07/06/2012 at 11:54 am

I want to know what are my rights with my 16 year old child. Am I allowed to take my child to holiday without asking the child's mother's permission since the child is16? I had a look on website and it says I don't need the child's mother's permission as long as the child is happy to go on holiday with me. I already informed the child's mother to let her know the date and holiday destination. My child went to holiday with me every year since the child was 10 with mother's permission until now.

sunshine 15/03/2012 at 12:17 pm

My boyfriend’s daughter is 16 months old. They were not married. After conceiving he found out that she was cheating so he left her. They made a verbal agreement that he could get het every weekend. 2 weeks ago she send him an sms saying that he is not allowed to see her anymore. He does not know what to do. He went to apply for custody on Monday but they said it could take up to a year. They are busy with the support court , she wants R5000.00 a month.But what can he do for now to see her on weekends? What is his Rights?

chang 25/11/2011 at 2:46 pm

I have a 7yr old who see's his dad every fortnight. His dad has a good job but strangely only pays me £140 per month via CSA... I pay for my son to go to extra tutoring lessons and clubs (including breakfast club) that cost me over £150 per month. should the dad also be contributing to this and if so do i go through CSA or court? He said he is not willing to pay as he already pays me enough through CSA!!

Jim 02/10/2011 at 2:51 pm

My son has 2 children (ages 2 and 3) . HIs wife left him one day with the children and moved out of state (I think this is against the law) because she found out he was taking pain pills and he lied to her about it. He came home to an empty house. Since then he had major back surgery and went through a detox program and is now drug free (5 months clean, not even alcohol). He moved up to Washington to be close to his kids but the wife has nothing to do with him and will only allow him to see them with supervision on Saturdays for a few hours on her parents front lawn or in their garage. The wife is no saint. She lives with her parents and parties hard on the weekends.(booze and dope) She screams at him in front of the children all the time when he is around and totally controls when and if he can see the kids. My son is losing hope. He has landed a full time job working at the Mall but barely makes enough money to support himself for food, lodging and transportation. I don't know what his rights are but to me it is insane how much control the wife has and how he has to yield to her every command. What are his rights and how can he get these rights enforced?

kim 31/08/2011 at 11:04 am

after 7 years of hell with a frenchman who thanks to is selfiness and lack of present and help at home my 3 children have been in care for over a year.i am english and have had some problems in renewing my passport so apllting for rsa ou a house has become a problem so i have moved back in with my mum.my children have stay in normandie were i had promesses to that soulution would be found so that i can see the them.but i feel that i have not been help enough.last week my ex boyfriend water got cut of and the authourity let him have the children on vist any.i have live with out my kids for to long and am at a point i can find what else to do

Loopy 11/08/2011 at 8:09 am

I'm a single parent to a 3yr old and unfortunately last year, me and little man had to leave the home we shared with little man's dad (mortgaged, I add) after he cheated on me. I moved back to my parents and now I want to move on. He refused to leave the home as he claimed that he wouldn't pay for the house if he wasn't living there. I went through a nightmare last year, almost faced repossession as he didn't pay mortgage for 8 months, he also assaulted me because I went to the CSA. I now want to have him removed from the property and me and little man back in there even if it's just while I get the house sold?!. How do I go about it? I already have a solicitor but just wanted some advice. Has anyone been through something similar?

shellyleighton 31/07/2011 at 3:46 pm

hi i have a 13week old son, and my ex parnter wants to take me to court even when he can see his son when ever he feels like it as long as im not busy, thats still not good enought for him, he doesnt pay a penny towards his son, and he walked out of ower lifes when my son was olny 4 weeks old, can soomone sugges what i can do

edell 12/07/2011 at 8:51 am

hi, i have a 21month old daugther and my ex took me to court to get access, which he always had anyway so he was just been difficult. the problem that i have is, we live abt 4 hours away from eachother and my daugther goes to see him every second week end, but in the court he agreed to come 3/4 of the way to pick her up. however now that he is getting fed up travelling he wants me to meet half way. even though in the first place he never picked her up it was always his mother. I do not want to meet him half way!! will i be ordered by the court to do so?

tulips 30/06/2011 at 11:24 pm

Hi, do I have any legal right to know anything about my ex's new partner? I find it so difficult to know that my young children spend a considerable time with her - including in her home, wherever that is, and that she remains a complete stranger to me. It seems very wrong.

JULES 17/03/2011 at 9:40 pm

I'm a single parent of a 4 year old plus I work full time as a teacher. Every time I am off work (unpaid after the first two weeks used) my headteacher is very intimidating to the point of I was once told I shouldn't have had my daughter if I didn't have back up if she was ill, or get a live in nanny or ask your dad to look after her (dad is 70 and in early stages of alzheimers).
Once off we have to have a back to school meeting and she goes through the same thing everytime now feeling very stressed and do not enjoy my job not due to the kids tho. Over the last 4 years I have had 45 days off (15 with my daughter, the rest due 2 slipped discs, heart problems and a nervous breakdown). My students always get higher than their targets so not down to letting my work slip etc. What are my rights as I can't afford to tell her what to do with her job. Plus she is the same with other people with children. Help what are my rights occupational health say ignore her and don't worry.

Ask Law and Parents a question

Ask our editorial team a question and we will reply with our advice. Tell us as much about your situation as you can: the more detail you give, the more useful our answer can be.

You do not need to use your real name. Please do not include your full address, phone number, email address, or the names of other people. We may edit or remove identifying details for privacy and legal reasons.

Comments are moderated before publication.