What are my Ex-Partners Visitation Rights?

What are my Ex-Partners Visitation Rights?

Parental Responsibility

As the mother of the children you automatically have what is known as parental responsibility for them. This gives you both rights and responsibilities for the children. These include providing a home for the children, protecting them, making decisions about their welfare and education, and deciding where they live.

The unmarried father of a child will only have Parental Responsibility for that child if he entered into a parental responsibility agreement with the mother or obtained a parental responsibility order from a court. For children born after 1st December 2003, unmarried fathers may acquire parental responsibility by jointly Registering The Child’s Birth with the mother. If none of these apply, you have sole parental responsibility and the right to make any decisions involving the children.

Custody of Your Children

It seems that, either by an agreement with your ex-partner or just because it seemed the natural thing to do, you have custody of the children. It would appear that this arrangement also suits your ex-partner’s lifestyle. This is also compatible with you having parental responsibility.

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Visitation Rights

Your real concern seems to be the way your ex-partner has taken to arriving unannounced and expecting the children to stay with him. If you have sole parental responsibility, you are entitled to say how and when these visits should take place. If your ex-partner also has parental responsibility, he will be equally entitled to say what he thinks it should happen. However, it sounds as if the only consideration your ex-partner gives to these visits is what suits him. It is unlikely to be in the children’s best interests to have no idea from one minute to the next what will happen.

UK or French Law

Asking the courts to resolves issues involving children should always be a last resort. In England, the law which governs children’s issues, the Children Act 1989, specifically states that the children’s welfare is always paramount when a court decides what order to make and whether it should make an order at all.

If there is any possibility that this issue can be resolved through discussion with your ex-partner, this should be the first step. Perhaps your ex-partner has not given much thought to how his arrangements impact on the children’s wellbeing. Stability and routine may be of paramount importance to them after the trauma of a break-up.

If you and your ex-partner cannot reach a mutually acceptable agreement regarding visitation and /or custody, you may still wish to consult a lawyer. If you and the children are permanently based in France, it would almost certainly be appropriate to consult a French lawyer. Conducting legal proceedings in the UK from France would be time-consuming and expensive.

Under European Law, the decision of a court in one EU state regarding issues of parental responsibility should be recognised by the courts of all other member states. Therefore a decision reached in France should be binding in the UK.

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Ask a Question or Comment
Mimi 14 Mar 2021
I have a daughter who’s father left when I was pregnant with her, since giving birth the father now wants parental responsibility and has applied to the court for this as well as visitation rights, do I have to agree to both of these?
Lissiebeth 24 Aug 2020
Me and my ex split up around 3 years ago, our son is 6 and up until around a couple of months ago everything was amicable, he always looked after our son on the weekends as I work all weekend, he came to my house to look after him. Two days ago he came to the house, told my son to get his coat and shoes on and that he was taking him out. I haven’t seen my son since, I have no idea where he is as my ex won’t tell me. I message to ask when is he coming back, with a response of, he wants to stay with him again. What can I do
b.0.s 18 Apr 2020
My daughters father and I split up when my daughter was 6 months old, he moved out and started blackmailing me with suicidle threats .. ( of which I do not have proof of anymore) my daughter is now 3 and he has seen her about 10 times since she was 6 months old so in and out her life and it has affected her, I wanted him in her life I would pay for his petrol to come see her ect , he had a drug habit which he actually got pulled over for with cocaine in his system , and soon after demanded he should take her out in his car out .. which I refused because he openly told me about him being pulled over and about a court date ect. He now has a new girlfriend and she’s messaged me pretending to be him , Also I invited him to see my daughter on Christmas Day which his girlfriend stopped, and said it wasnt okay for me to be around him, only problem is, that he’s only ever seen her while I’ve been there (his choice) he’s never asked to have her on his own or even go to the park , he’s never cared . And now all of a sudden his girlfriend is messaging me saying that he wants to be taking her out ect ect and it’s in his right... I’m worried about my daughter getting hurt this has already affected her twice emotionally. I don’t know what to do anymore
jlc 29 Oct 2019
My ex hasn't seen his son since he was 3 hes now 10 my ex was violent to me and also while I had our son in my arms. He was never really around for those first 3 years either as he was always causing arguments so he wouldn't have to come down and see us as we were meant to be in a relationship. My 10 year olds son doesn't want to know him as he remembers things I don't talk about his father to him. Only if I'm explaining why he doesn't see him. His dad is now trying to pursue court to see him. What are my sons rights? I'm now married and his step father has been in his life for 5 years and he has a loving caring environment.
B8 19 Jun 2019
My relationship broke down about 1 month ago. I have 2 children both 2 yrs old. My partner took my children whilst i was at work to his mistresses house and stayed there over night. I informed the police and filed missing reports as i had no idea what had happened or where they are. He has been violent,taken drugs and stolen money from me on a regular bases. Since then i have left him but because i do not think he is safe he hasn't had any contact with his children. I currently work full time and so use a nursery, which he knows they use. Yesterday he visited the nursery and although there was no trouble i am concerned about the safetyoh my children.He is an illegal immigrant and has no means of supporting himself let alone 2 children. He has only been seeing this woman for a couple of months and she isn't working and has three children of her own.Can i stop him from seeing the children as i feel he is not in a position to support his children? And does he have the same rights as a legal person?
Lisa 19 Jun 2019
My relationship broke down about 1 month ago. I have 2 children both 2 yrs old. My partner took my children whilst i was at work to his mistresses house and stayed there over night. I informed the police and filed missing reports as i had no idea what had happened or where they are. He has been violent,taken drugs and stolen money from me on a regular bases. Since then i have left him but because i do not think he is safe he hasn't had any contact with his children. I currently work full time and so use a nursery, which he knows they use. Yesterday he visited the nursery and although there was no trouble i am concerned as he is illegal he has no means of supporting himself let alone 2 children. Can i stop him from seeing the children? And does he have the same rights as a legal person?
Meens 15 Aug 2018
Hi, my daughters dad has never really made an efford he fits her in when he can be bothered, he has recently started dating a drug addict, he himself hates drugs but has decided to make a go at things with her, he hid this from me because he knows how much i hate drugs, i do not want my daughter around that kind of life style and i do not trust that he will keep the girlfriend away or that he wont start taking himself, what grounds do i have to keep her away from them?
Donska 25 Jun 2018
My son's father and I came to an amicable agreement when we first broke up, that he would have custody of him on the weekends. We were never married and he's on my son's birth certificate we split up about 8 years ago. My ex partner now quite often keeps him over night on a Sunday, with the promise to take him to school on the Monday. He has consistently not taken him into school saying that our son is ill, but my son has told me, he was fine. He has often decided to pick him up and just take him for several days whenever he feels like it. What can I do to get his father to adhere to a schedule? We don't have any legal agreement, and I'd like to keep things amicable. It's making me very anxious, I don't know what to do.
Jane 18 Jun 2018
My sons dad is a drug dealer therefore I don’t let my son go to his house as it’s not a good environment, I have stopped him coming into my home as he got agressive with me, I still want my son to have a relationship with him so agree that he can take him to a park etc but now he’s threatening me with court to get him to stay every weekend, will he have any rights?
Amy 31 May 2018
Me and my split up 1 year we got two kids together he wants to see his kods but i dont trust him in the sense if he doesnt return the back to me even though I do want the kids to see their dad but im only scared if he doesnt return the kids back to me as his name is on the birth certificate
LawAndParents Editor 22 May 2018
He should ask the mother to attend mediation with him in order to try and reach a mutually acceptable arrangement for contact. If this does not resolve things, he could consider apply to the court for a child arrangements order (court form C100). The judge will listen to all the facts and make a decision based on the son's best interests.
Sam 16 May 2018
My son has a 16 month old son which his ex-girlfriend only allows him to see him for four hours every second Saturday she also says that he's not allowed to bring him to London to see his other family and now he has a new partner she said he's also not allowed to meet her where does my son stand on this thank you
LawAndParents Editor 14 May 2018
Why don't you agree more contact at a specific times? You can formalise this in the courts if necessary. Being alloweed to "speak to them" at a certain time each evening doesn't seem like it will help the father/children bonding. Perhaps he could take them to school on certain days? Have them for tea/overnight on a few days each week etc.
Chezza 14 May 2018
Hi me and my partner split 2 years ago (technically 4 years but remained constant emotionally) anyway we have 2 children together 5 and 3 years old so still babies . He took it upon himself to turn up at random times when it suited him and at first i allowed this but hes moved on with someone else and thinks he can call them early morning before the mad rush to school and calling somerimes lunchtime at weekends but i have always kept to the strict 6pm each night for him to speak to our girls which is fine with me . Am I doing the right thing? We don't get on, and as I have the children it's my parental responsibility what works best ? He can't just ring when it suits him ? And he definately can't just turn up surely for a quick kiss and cuddle and to give girls a little present or something when it suits him?
Ty 1 May 2018
Can his name still be added to the bc even if he's involved with drugs drink and domestic abuse
LawAndParents Editor 1 May 2018
You should explain that it's not in your baby's best interests to have strangers popping in at random and taking her out. Agree regular amounts of contact at this stage and say you will not stop breastfeeding until you're ready. Advise him that he must stick to the regular contact agreement before you will consider increasing it as the baby gets older. The fact he's not on the birth certificate is not especially relevant as he can apply to the courts to have his name added if necessary.
Ty 30 Apr 2018
My ex hasnt seen his 3 month old for 2 months he hasn't bothered to come and visit I don't trust him with her he's previously done drugs and other stuff and is expecting me to stop breastfeeding so he can have her on his own he isn't on the birth certificate I didn't put him on for certain reasons what rights does he have to take her and make demands to just walk back into her life and start asking me to take her out
Ellie 22 Mar 2018
My Ex and I have had an arrangement since we split two and a half years ago that our son stays with him at his parents house every other weekend. This has always worked for us other than on the occasions that he doesn’t show up or decides to go on holiday or nights out on his weekend instead. Our son had his own room with a bed, books and all of his toys etc at his paternal grandparents house. My ex has now started renting a 1 bedroom flat with his girlfriend, he lied to me and told me that our son had his own room there and so I even encouraged him to go and see it and choose how to decorate it. When he returned from his weekend with my ex he told me that he doesn’t actually have a bedroom or a bed there and he’ll either be sleeping on the sofa or sharing a bed with my ex and his girlfriend. After speaking to my ex about this he’s admitted that his in fact true. I’ve told him that our son won’t be staying overnight there as it’s not right for him to have no space to call his own or even his own bed but I’m still happy for the day visits to continue. My ex is disputing this and won’t back down. Am I within my rights to suggest that this set up isn’t Inclusive of my sons best interests? He’s been through a lot of change already in a short time, is being assessed for a possible processing disorder and struggles with change as well as suffering with severe asthma that I fear will only be worsened by sleeping on a sofa or mattress on the floor. I also don’t think that it’s right for him to share a bed with his father and his girlfriend at 5 years old.
LawAndParents Editor 13 Feb 2018
It's a common arrangement to have alternative weekends. Perhaps you can agree to share some time in the week (if you don't already) so your ex partner can do a couple of school drops or collections and have your daughter overnight etc. Explain that you want your daughter to have quality time with both her mum and her dad and that you still want 50/50 but want to arrange it differently, so are suggesting alternate weekends and alternate two/three night weeks? Mediation is a great if you need help drawing up an agreement that works. Let us know how you get on.
Saram 11 Feb 2018
My ex partner has had my daughter every weekend since birth, this was an arrangement we came to together. She starts school full time this year and i work full time , I won't get any free weekend time to spend with her. I'm going to put to him that we both share weekend's one week she stays at home with me and the following weekend she stays with him. I don't think this will go down well and need some advise as to what is the best way to a solution for us all without having to go through court
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