My partner and I were never married, we have two children and have recently separated. We are both British, I live in France with the children, one of which was born here.
He has a house in France but is not resident here as he works abroad based in London and Dublin. I would like to know what my rights are with regards to custody of the children and visitation rights for their father.
At the moment he turns up in the country without notice and expects to keep the children with him, if that is for a day or three weeks, and they are very confused. Can I make him regularise his visits? Who do I speak to, an English lawyer or French?
Parental Responsibility
As the mother of the children you automatically have what is known as parental responsibility for them. This gives you both rights and responsibilities for the children. These include providing a home for the children, protecting them, making decisions about their welfare and education, and deciding where they live.
The unmarried father of a child will only have Parental Responsibility for that child if he entered into a parental responsibility agreement with the mother or obtained a parental responsibility order from a court. For children born after 1st December 2003, unmarried fathers may acquire parental responsibility by jointly Registering The Child’s Birth with the mother. If none of these apply, you have sole parental responsibility and the right to make any decisions involving the children.
Check your legal rights as a parent on education, health and welfare decisions.
Try our Parental Rights Checker free, here on this site →Custody of Your Children
It seems that, either by an agreement with your ex-partner or just because it seemed the natural thing to do, you have custody of the children. It would appear that this arrangement also suits your ex-partner’s lifestyle. This is also compatible with you having parental responsibility.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Visitation Rights
Your real concern seems to be the way your ex-partner has taken to arriving unannounced and expecting the children to stay with him. If you have sole parental responsibility, you are entitled to say how and when these visits should take place. If your ex-partner also has parental responsibility, he will be equally entitled to say what he thinks it should happen. However, it sounds as if the only consideration your ex-partner gives to these visits is what suits him. It is unlikely to be in the children’s best interests to have no idea from one minute to the next what will happen.
UK or French Law
Asking the courts to resolves issues involving children should always be a last resort. In England, the law which governs children’s issues, the Children Act 1989, specifically states that the children’s welfare is always paramount when a court decides what order to make and whether it should make an order at all.
If there is any possibility that this issue can be resolved through discussion with your ex-partner, this should be the first step. Perhaps your ex-partner has not given much thought to how his arrangements impact on the children’s wellbeing. Stability and routine may be of paramount importance to them after the trauma of a break-up.
If you and your ex-partner cannot reach a mutually acceptable agreement regarding visitation and /or custody, you may still wish to consult a lawyer. If you and the children are permanently based in France, it would almost certainly be appropriate to consult a French lawyer. Conducting legal proceedings in the UK from France would be time-consuming and expensive.
Under European Law, the decision of a court in one EU state regarding issues of parental responsibility should be recognised by the courts of all other member states. Therefore a decision reached in France should be binding in the UK.
I'm now married and his step father has been in his life for 5 years and he has a loving caring environment.
He has often decided to pick him up and just take him for several days whenever he feels like it. What can I do to get his father to adhere to a schedule? We don't have any legal agreement, and I'd like to keep things amicable. It's making me very anxious, I don't know what to do.
He took it upon himself to turn up at random times when it suited him and at first i allowed this but hes moved on with someone else and thinks he can call them early morning before the mad rush to school and calling somerimes lunchtime at weekends but i have always kept to the strict 6pm each night for him to speak to our girls which is fine with me . Am I doing the right thing? We don't get on, and as I have the children it's my parental responsibility what works best ? He can't just ring when it suits him ? And he definately can't just turn up surely for a quick kiss and cuddle and to give girls a little present or something when it suits him?
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