What Rights Do I Have as a Grandparent?

Author: Charlotte Walker-Olivier

Mrs J.A asks

I have a residence order for my grandson. His mother has a severe personality disorder, his father has behaviour problems and ADHD, they have moved into the area where I live and want access to their son.

I do not have a problem with that, but what if they want to take him out, or want him to stay over with them.

They cannot look after themselves, they do not wash themselves or clean their home. Social services have been involved with them for a long time.

I have parental responsibility, as does the mother, but what rights do I have with regards to my grandson?

Parental responsibility is a legal concept derived from the Children Act 1989. Somebody with parental responsibility for a child has a legal duty to care for that child and the right to be involved in decisions concerning the child. There are a number of ways in which an individual may acquire parental responsibility. The birth mother of a child automatically acquires Parental Responsibility – the unmarried father of a child does not.

You say that you have parental responsibility through a Residence Order. There are several ways that a grandparent may acquire parental responsibility:

Parental responsibility order – this simply attributes parental responsibility to an individual giving them a say in decisions about the child’s welfare.
Residence order – this is when a court decides where a child will live. The persons named in the order, with whom the child is to live, will automatically acquire parental responsibility.
Special guardianship order – this is where an individual gains more substantial rights and responsibilities towards a child, the effect of such an order is somewhere between a residence order and an adoption order.

Had you adopted your grandson, his mother would no longer have parental responsibility. As a grandparent, who is naturally concerned about the ability of your grandson’s mother to take care of him, you may wish to consider Obtaining A Special Guardianship Order. This would give you greater rights to decide what is best for your grandson to the exclusion of his mother’s rights.

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You express concern about what would happen if your grandson’s mother, or father, wanted to take him out or have him stay with them at their home. As a person with parental responsibility, you have not only the right but the legal duty to make decisions which are in that child’s best interest. If your grandson’s parents are indeed incapable of looking after themselves, you may conclude that your grandson could or would come to harm if left in their sole care. As a person with parental responsibility you could, therefore, refuse to allow this to happen.

The difficulty would arise if your grandson’s mother insisted that her son should stay with her. If two people with parental responsibility cannot agree on an issue concerning the child, they may ultimately have to apply to the court for an order resolving the disagreement. For example, you may ask the court to order that your grandson may only be at his parents’ house when another adult is present. Whenever the courts make a decision concerning the welfare of a child, the overriding consideration will always be the child’s welfare.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

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141 questions

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LawAndParents Editor 24/05/2026 at 9:17 am

@Salvan On the nights question, the Child Maintenance Service only counts nights the child actually stays overnight with the paying parent, so nights spent at grandad's shouldn't really count towards his shared care reduction. Travel costs and his living arrangements are his problem, not a reason to dodge maintenance. Your daughter should ring the CMS directly, report her suspicions about his hours and where the kids actually sleep, and ask them to investigate his income. The sleeping arrangements aren't something CMS concerns itself with.

Salvan 23/06/2023 at 12:14 pm

I'm going to make this as simple as possible. My grandchildren live with my daughter. Their dad collects them every other Friday and brings them back Sunday.
But he is claiming he has them the required time so as not to pay Csa. But here are the queries
He has deliberately reduced his hours since CSA got involved. However, the job he does I suspect he does at least 30 hours a week over 3 nights - so by my calculations he would still need to pay something.
Secondly, he collects the boys and they stay with their grandad over night, mostly the friday and Saturday but occasionally only the one night - does this still count towards the number of nights the dad has them for CSA payments to be reduced?
Finally, their dad claims that because he collects them and brings them home (travelling from Newcastle to leeds) he feels he shouldn't have to pay anything. Again. The maximum this will be costing him is £20 in fuel. (originally my daughter was meeting him halfway but due to him not sending any money she stopped meeting him) not to mention that he lost his licence due to drink driving and hasn't admitted it to us yet. (his sister collects the kids)
So where do we stand? Cos he is trying every trick in the book not to pay anything.
Also when the boys stay at their grandads they share a single bed which at 5 and 7 I'm assuming there is nothing we can do - or on the odd occasion they do stay at their dad's all three of them are in a double bed which again I'm assuming isn't an issue) The dad lives with his sister so only pays board there too.

Sapo 01/07/2022 at 2:01 am

My story is very long but I will try to summarize the question I intend to ask.
I have a 15 year old son and I want to move him out of my house due to the serious problems he has caused me and my other two children. One is 8 years old who has autism and the other is 5 years old.
Evidence indicates that my 15-year-old son is involved in a dangerous gang.
At this moment, all entities (school, social worker, police) are involved and within the matter, but they all say they can't do anything against him because they have no evidence and he hasn't committed any crime.
Since September, he has been suspended from school more than 10 times.
he was already caught with prohibited materials at school
he already bought a precision scale
he already showed up with £50 at school a and never said where the money came from
he's been coming home most days very late, 11pm, 12pm, 1am, 2am. he often comes home smelling of drugs. I'm pretty sure he smokes dope.
there are days that he doesn't sleep at home
I've been calling the police almost every day to report his disappearance.
I'm already very exhausted. Right now I'm having a lot of health problems because of all this. this week I had a facial paralysis due to nerves. I'm in despair, help me. I don't want him here anymore, he's killing me little by little.
Yesterday he was caught at the train station with a knife and held from 12am until 2pm when the police brought him home. He will have to appear in court on the 28th of July.
I feel that the law allows him to do everything and I and my other two children are his hostages.
I feel like a prisoner at home. I had a trip to Portugal scheduled to renew my passport because the embassy of Portugal is not dealing with it here, but apparently I won't be able to go, all because this son of mine refuses to stay with the person who will stay with the other two my sons.
my two questions are
1-Can I put him out of my house? If I put him out of my house, do I run the risk of losing my other two children as well?
2-Can I travel and leave him here alone considering that he refuses to stay / at the house of the person I arranged to stay with the three of them?
3- What should I do so that I don't get hurt in these 2 situations?

Hari 28/03/2022 at 12:06 am

So grateful to find this page. My daughter moved to 270 miles away after meeting a guy on line, my granddhild was under child services and classed as 'a child in need' but this is no longer in place and I am worried because I know she played th system to get her off her back but things are still not right ...I travel to see my grandchild each month although my daughter can make it difficult at times, I will never give up, we have a wonderful time together and AR wants to see me. I know she is regularly late for school and that she has been having time off and I want to speak to the school to ask them to report this back to CS but I'm frightened they will tell my daughter who will I'm sure stop me from seeing my Grandchild, who loves our time together, as of course I do. Although I did not report my daughter Ito CS I did speak with them and the previous school about my concerns, but my trust was broken and now my daughter doesn't speak to me, but she is sick and in denial and I know AR is not looked after properly, I feel like there is nowhere to turn for help without my daughter finding out and that would jeopardise the beautiful relationship with my dear Grandchild, she has no one else and I just want to protect her. The system prevents people from speaking out, I just want the best for AR aged 5.

Jo 04/04/2020 at 3:14 pm

Please I need help my grandson is 11 I've been in his life from the day he was born and he loves staying with me when his mum says put him in taxi send him home he gets anxiety and gets upset his mum is lazy and he does everything he said he's a slave and she also lives with a drug dealer I want to see my grandson happy not sad please help

Smiley 13/11/2019 at 12:37 am

I have a 1 yr old grandson in foster care mum had a accident at home i am grandma trying to get sgo unfortunately not granted from local authorities now doing a pams assement it will be up to the judge to decide whether she will grant me i am working hard atm but local authorities want him to be adopted but obviously we want him to stay with the family

Leslee 17/10/2019 at 3:24 am

I have tried to bring up my 6 year old granddaughter whose mother is a heroin addict with my husband we have paternal rights my Marriage has broken down and divorce is imminent I am unable to bring up my granddaughter alone as I have no other family and health problems would I be able to be the wee ones gran if she had a foster mum

Victim101 14/10/2019 at 6:29 pm

I have took no interest in the pregnancy of my child who is due on the 16th April. My ex partner asked me to attend a gender scan, not as she wanted to but because she was advised it may be a good idea to improve parental relationship. Of which first of all I asked her to prove she was pregnant and secondly said I was working when I knew I had booked tickets to go to London. I have lied so many times during the past few months and caused two people who I used to live with enormous upset, including a child who is currently having private tuition because of the impact I have caused. I then play victim to my family and friends all because I couldn’t be an adult and be honest because I claim it was protecting’ the girl who I said ‘isn’t my girlfriend and don’t know if it will go anywhere’ over protecting two people whom I lived with for over 3 years. I was also sleeping with my ex less than 2 weeks before taking someone out from work (or so I claim it was the first time) and she is equally as happy to be getting laid by someone who had penis elsewhere less than 2 weeks before and is more than happy that he has give up his rights to see his child. What I haven’t done is accounted for is that this will come back on my two fold next year if I do much as try to see my child which will get delayed and every bit of alcoholism and drugs dug up including twitter and Facebook posts. So I ask you, if I have remotely anything decent about me I should move as far away as possibly and get another crap call centre job elsewhere and take my skank with me. Please advise as I am struggling with this concept of how I should walk away quickly and have the decency to confirm I won’t be back so everyone can move on with their lives and friends on the estate don’t have to keep reporting back on what and who they see. And I can let a good man who owns a home, good job, can drive, good upbringing raise my child.

Nic 12/10/2019 at 5:46 pm

Hi. My daughter was 18 when she got pregnant after a short fling. I was at the birth and baby n mum came home to us. She met a new man when my granddaughter was 14 months. Knew him a few weeks and fell pregnant. It turned out to be a molar pregnancy and my daughter was extremely ill. She got the all clear 8 months later and was told to wait at least a year to get pregnant again. She was pregnant within a month. Her son was born after a horrendous pregnancy with lots of issues. He has di George syndrome They all moved into her partners family farm in a caravan and the place is a tip to say the least. We’ve financed their lives pretty much from the get go and have had both kids every weekend and more. She has now got back in touch with her birth father after 22 years and has spirited the kids 409 miles away. No contact. No visitation with the kids nothing. I’m so hurt and betrayed and my heart is breaking. She has cut all her family out of her life in the blink of an eye. I’m worried as my granddaughter is being kept out of school now and my grandson isn’t getting to his appointment. I’m stuck. Any advice?

Alan 06/10/2019 at 9:49 pm

We are great grandparents and have been careing for our great grandson with regular visits from his social worker who is very happy with the situation my question is have we got the same kinship rights as grandparents

linda 22/06/2019 at 7:22 pm

I am the grandparent to my 3 1/2 year old grand daughter,
my son who is the father, usually stays with her at our home every second weekend,
we have her very weekend and sometimes for two and three weeks at a time as, her mother sometimes does not even contact us to find out how she is or ask for her to come home,
both parents were involved with social services when our grand daughter was born as they were in a volatile relationship and SS were going to remove the baby at birth because of concerns for the Childs safety,
we as the grandparents and social services and the parents agreed that the baby could remain with the parents on the grounds that they came and lived with us, we were vetted checked etc, and were deemed suitable, this was ok for a while but the relationship eventually broke down again due to arguing and fighting and we the grandparents could not allow it to go on so it was sent back to SS and the mother was sent to a mother and baby unit, we were not allowed to see our grand daughter for over a year, eventually we gradually started talking again and started to see the baby regularly again, hence we now have her as above almost every weekend this has been the case for the last 2 years our grand daughter who is now 3 and a half and wants to stay with us and goes into a meltdown when its time for her to go home to her mums, our son had her last weekend for fathers day and was due to return her home on the Monday as was agreed with mum but the mum wanted her back on the Sunday to which our son refused and told her he wasn't bringing her back till Monday,
this caused an almighty row and the mum stormed into our house as the front door was opened and attacked our son who had his daughter on his knelt the time, and was on the phone to the police to ask where he stood as in not taking the baby home earlier than agreed, both parents were arrested and we have found out there are serious concerns for the Childs welfare ie drugs , and violence at the mothers home with new boyfriends etc, also there are concerns from. her school, and the mum has said we are not to see her again can you tell us where we stand and what advice you could give us, as we are absolutely heartbroken at the thought of losing our grand daughter again through no fault of our own, what can we do, please help

Shelley 16/05/2019 at 11:24 pm

I have a two and half year old granddaughter who,lives with her mum and half siblings. We have had her to stay with us every week for the past year as my son lives with us and has PR.
We have concerns about the care of her she with her mum as she is extremely volitile and is neglectful in her care of her and the siblings e.g. Doesn't get them to school poor diet, inconsistent care etc. We have involved SS but they didn't do anything. My son is applying for a child arrangements order for contact but can we as the grandparent apply for an SGO. My son doesn't feel he could provide the care she needs but we are in a position to do so. I am asking the question as yet again she has stopped contact over a really petty matter.

miss v 07/05/2019 at 8:02 pm

i am totally worried about my grandaughter who is now just an empty shell. her mother suffers from depression and has cut herself off from the family but does give me her daughter to look after most wkends. she has a new man again living with her, where he makes my grandchild stay in her room the whole time, she has no tv, laptop, entertainment , she is basically a prisoner in her bedroom bar being let out to go to school, because of her downward self confidence she is now bullied at school which is not being dealt with by her mother and therefore the school.. please i need help to help my grandaughter before she becomes another suicide statistic.

Chip 02/05/2019 at 7:50 pm

My step grandson who i have had for 7 years has ask me to adopt him and he has ask his mum and she has said yes can I do it

Maureen 25/04/2019 at 5:37 pm

Hi I have courtorder for my gran son he stay with me for 13 years now he to go to Spain with school can he go with my consent his mother did when he was 4 can you tell me

Amanda 06/03/2019 at 2:46 am

I am fighting for residency of my grandson is there support

TC 29/12/2018 at 7:09 pm

My brother had custody and full parental rights to my 10 yr old nephew since he was 10 month old,and they both lived with my mother.
My brother passed away 3 yes ago and my nephew continued living with my mother as his own mother was a drug users and not responsible parent.
Xmas day my nephews mother came and took him and hasn't brought him back to my mother since,and is now telling my mother that she has to wait until Friday 4th January as there is a meeting with social services to assess the situation, what rights does my mother have??as she's beven my nephew's guardian.
Thank you

nanny m 13/11/2018 at 9:14 pm

My son has split from his wife, have not seen my youngest grandson since just after easter he is 15yrs old. The other two who are older 18 & 21, have seen me but daren't tell their mum as she will have ago at them,what do I do about it or what help can I get.

Me 25/10/2018 at 10:46 am

Hi I have a 7 year old grandson for the loss two years when he comes to his dad's and mine he doesn't want to go back to his mum's he tells his mum he wants to stay with his dad infront of his dad his dad and my self has asked why but he won't say we don't want to prompt to much oh put words into him mouth we don't know how to approach it. he was in my neighbour as she has birds so they were talking about the birds and he come out with my mother shouts at me all the time my neighbour didn't know really what to say so she said she might have had a bad day but my grandson said she like it all the time can you gave any advice as we would never run his mum down oh say anything bad against he saying he not happy there we have said to him what are you not happy about but he won't say we don't like to prompt him what way could we ask him what the problem is with his mum.

Queenie 21/09/2018 at 5:03 am

I haven’t saw my grandchildren for 7 weeks now. Their mother refuses to let my son or myself see them. They have been involved with Social work most of their life because of their mother. They have been with us mostly every weekend from birth. My grandson told me something his mother had done to him which was physical abuse . I informed Social services. Since then she won’t let us see them. SS have interviewed my grandson who is 8 years old in his own home and he said it didn’t happen. They have not been any help with the situation. They had been placed on a supervision order for 2 years but had been lifted 3 months ago. Her daughter has already left her and stays with her grandmother now because she left daughter in the house overnight on her own when she was 12. This was 4 years ago. It’s not the first time she has done this. I have been an integral part of my grandchildren life since they were born , which previous social workers have recognised and in all their statemennpts have always said its in the children’s best interest to have weekly contact with their father and grandmother as we are a big part of their life. They now have a different social worker doesn’t seem to see this. She said she has saw the children and has no concerns. If this is the case why have they been investigated loved with social work most of their life because of their mother . She keeps saying
I would have to take legal advice . I’m at my wits end. Can you help me please . Where do I stand and where do my grandchildren legally have a say in the situation.

Bowie 22/08/2018 at 6:40 pm

My daughter has just split with her boyfreind ( not married) they have two children together there house is in joint names she has left the home because of hes unreasonable behavior and staying with a freind can she stop hes new girlfreind visiting and staying at the home she has two children herself taken into care because of mental state of health and drug abuse

Kren 09/07/2018 at 5:00 am

Hello, my 18 year old daughter had a baby 6 months ago. She lives with me and I have done the majority of care for my grandson as she has struggled caring for him. Yesterday she walked out with him to go and live with a man she has known for 3 months who has been verbally abusive to her and has a drinking problem. When she was 17 she was in an extremely abusive relationship with a man who is currently serving a prison sentence due to the severity of abuse committed against her. I have been advised to apply for Special Guardianship as my daughter doesn’t listen when I/family/various agencies have explained the risks of her choices. Social services have been involved in the past (at my request) to help safeguard her. If I apply for guardianship I’ll lose my daughter, but I’m so worried about my grandson and the risks to him. Any advice or support would be appreciated.

LawAndParents Editor 06/06/2018 at 2:53 pm

There really isn't much you can do here unless the mother will agree to your applying for a Special Guardianship Order?

LawAndParents Editor 16/05/2018 at 2:38 pm

Start by trying the Family Rights Group . They have a helpline as well as various resources that might be useful to read etc.

Reyna 15/05/2018 at 4:11 am

My 11 year old granddaughter has lived with her grandparents for a number of years not through any thing wrong the grandparents literally live across the road. First it was because my daughter had 3 jobs then because it was help when her son was born then the grandmother got cancer. My daughter and her partner are splitting up and she wants to move into another house with both kids. Her mil has told her if she tries to move and take her daughter she will take both children away from her. The grandmother has now got social services involved the children's school and are constantly harassing my daughter who can be quite loud and vocal when attacked. They come across all the time provoking her and when she kicks off at them they have filmed her. The grandmothers family are antisocial they do not have friends or mix with anyone and my granddaughter is becoming a recluse her teeth are in a mess how do I deal with this should I get a solicitor. My daughters ex has told so many lies and she even get harassed from his new girlfriend. This is affecting my grandson as he is using bad lauguage at school and it withdrawn . The grandmother is now manipulating my grandson over things he wants he has to go to her house. My keys have gone missing food my caravan so I cannot take the kids on holiday. She turns the internet off to the kids have to be at her house to use there I pads. Police have been involved I have lost 2and half stone in weight I am at my Witt's end can anyone give me any advice .

LawAndParents Editor 11/05/2018 at 2:05 pm

While her mother still has parental responsibility, she can ask that the daughter returns home. Talk to social services or suggest mediation to come to arrange whereby your granddaughter spends most of the time with you but goes back regularly to the family home to maintain bonds with mum and siblings.

babybronc 10/05/2018 at 4:13 am

My granddaughter who was 14yrs but now is 15 came to live with me because she doesn't want to be with her mom or her two younger siblings..she doesn't like her mom's drinking and is scared that she won't stop and her brother and sister have adhd...she can't handle the comotion..she has been with me since last Oct.. now her mom wants her home cause she don't like being away from her...her mom knows she don't want to go back home ...what r her rights

Sparkly4 19/04/2018 at 3:24 pm

Im raising my 9 year old son alone he sees his dad saturday for a few hours . I would like my mum to be able to sign consent forms for him if im not available as she takes him to some appointments how can i do this

LawAndParents Editor 21/03/2018 at 3:37 pm

If social services are not helpful and you fear for the safety of your granddaughter, you could try calling the NSPCC for advice. The alternative might be to apply for a special guardianship order or residence order etc - which would mean the courts would investigate and make decision based on the child's best interests.

barmiejayne 20/03/2018 at 12:15 pm

My dauhhter/son in law are being investigated re neglect of my grandchildren thishas happened before but they gave up in 2006/7. First 3 have grownup but theeldest daughter has big problems re not clean etc. Now it's happening again with 10/5 year old the 10 year oldwants to live with me but dad & mom says I am making it up.SS have been involved for 20 months and have prove no help at all.10 year old been living with me ever weekend and all holidays since birth. Now they will not let her come here at all. 10 year old Iis terrified dad and frighten ed of mom.mom tooka knife to dad during this time. Social services only seem to want them to be better parents she is threatening to kill herself, what do I do

LawAndParents Editor 28/02/2018 at 3:12 pm

Do you have any official care of him? Such as a special guardianship order or parental responsibility? If not, then there's not much you can do short of a court order. If you feel that the child is genuinely at risk, talk to social services - they'll be able to advise you on possible courses of action.

Grandparent 27/02/2018 at 4:43 pm

My grandson is nearly Ten years old and I have been his main carer since birth his mum was a teen parent and finished school and college. When she moved out the family home my grandson didnt want to go he has made it clear to her he doesnt want to live there still but she is trying to force him causing bad dreams and bed wetting can she force him to leave his family unit for ten years of his life ? She has told me her girlfriend scares her when throwing things about the home and they can be very moody which Scares my grandson when he was a baby we had to remove him to a different room when her temper snapped and he has said she hurts him when he sleeps over and when he was at nursery she throw his stuff down in the street and chose her placement day as more important then him. Can he refuse to move in to their new house next month ? She agrees with him to his face then sends messages to me demanding it to happen

LawAndParents Editor 20/02/2018 at 3:34 pm

The article above gives details of your rights and which order to apply for if you want further rights. You may be entitled to Child Benefit but we do not know your other circumstances so can't say for sure...you should contact HMRC.

Nanny jack 17/02/2018 at 2:51 pm

My 16yrs old grandaughter has come to live with us ,what rights do we have and what rights does she have ?she's going to college in September can she claim any financial help.

LawAndParents Editor 16/02/2018 at 2:54 pm

You could apply for a Special Guardianship order if you want to make it really formal or a parental responsibility order as in the above article.

GrannyJ 14/02/2018 at 4:54 pm

Hi.

My 14 year old granddaughter has been living with me since a domestic incident with her mum last year. She refuses to go back to her mum.

Do I need to apply to the courts for parental responsibility or can her mother and I have an agreement drawn up between us? I'm finding that I need to sign forms for holidays/school/sports club etc.

Many thanks

LawAndParents Editor 10/01/2018 at 3:39 pm

Do you simply want to firm your arrangements for having your grandson with you or to ensure the mother continues to see him? Sorry it's not clear from your post.

LawAndParents Editor 10/01/2018 at 9:46 am

What is your relationship to the child? Was this ordered by the court or decided by the parent(s)?

Boo 09/01/2018 at 9:36 pm

My 8 year old Grandson came to live with me 9 months ago (his Mother couldn't control him, he wasn't doing well in school, was being really cheeky and naughty) He has wanted to live with me or his Dad for a few years. Dad works away but is able to come home on weekends.
I'm in receipt of his child benefit, he's doing very well in school, in short, he's a different child in every aspect!
Mum works P/T Nights and used to take my grandson and her younger daughter to her more recent Ex.Bf for 3 nights of the week) This arrangement would still be in place, should take him back.
He's now settled in a different school.
.Mum sees him sometimes once a fortnight (usually working or to busy)
What are my rights "If Any"
Thanks in advance x

LawAndParents Editor 09/01/2018 at 2:56 pm

What arrangement do you have? Is she subject to a Special Guardianship order or is it just an informal arrangement?

Lulu 08/01/2018 at 4:23 pm

My 15 yr old granddaughter is living with me, as her mum and stepfather have moved away, she has been told by her mum that she is not to have nothing to do with her aunt, if she foes her mum will come and take her back with her. Can she do this if my granddaughter doesn't want to go. Thank you

Mommy4 07/01/2018 at 6:38 am

What does it mean when the paternal grandparents get overnights visits with the kids.and why not me

LawAndParents Editor 03/01/2018 at 3:04 pm

If they feel the grandchild is at risk, they should contact social services.

LawAndParents Editor 02/01/2018 at 12:37 pm

It would be easier if you had a Special Guardianship Order, the fee for which is £160. You may be able to get some help with the cost
if you are on benefits or a low income. You might also get fiancial support from the local authority if it agrees your application is crucial for the child.

Olly 01/01/2018 at 10:12 pm

My friend has a daughter who is takkng drugs and she has a three year son with autism..what rights do they have regarding the welfare and safety of their grandchild .

Kate 24/12/2017 at 7:33 am

My Grandaughter is 14 she has lived with me since she was 5 years old , there has never been any court or sociol services involved , it was just an agreement between her mom and myself ,I don't have parental responsibility but was wondering if her mom agrees with me to get it would it still have to go before a court . Has her mom lives a distance away and has mental health issues which sometimes she won't come out the house , my granddaughter has a few health problems which sometimes need hospital addmission and they always ask if I have it and we have spoken about it before but heard it was expensive to go to court .Thanks for any help you could give .

LawAndParents Editor 19/12/2017 at 11:08 am

Did you get the Special Guardianship Order (SGO)? It's not clear from your post whether you did or not. A parent can only discharge a Special Guardianship Order if they apply for the court's permission. If an SGO is in place therefore, you can take this to the courts to see if they can order that the child is returned to you. If there is no SGO in place, unfortunately there isn't a great deal you can do about this as the courts may consider no action necessary as long as the child is safe. Are the social work team in the area where your granddaughter is living aware of the situation? Please ensure that your GD's social worker refers this to them - sometimes if a child moves out of their area, they simply put the case on hold.
It might be worth getting some advice from a solicitor - many of them offer a free first time consultation, your local Citizens' Advice Bureau will be able to tell you which local solicitors specialise in family matters like this. Let us know how you get on.

Maz 16/12/2017 at 4:52 pm

My granddaughter will be 2 years old at the end of January 2018. I have cared for her from being around 2 weeks old (my son's daughter). Her parents (now split) have issues with drink/drugs & violence. I contacted social services as the mother was demanding money from me & holding my GD ransom. I encouraged both parents to visit & her mother would let us down most times. I needed help to make GD life more stable. GD mother was happy for me to move house with my GD & I kept her in the loop at all times. SW then told me I needed to go for a special guardianship order. He told me I would have to fund this, I gave up my job to care for GD. He asked on many occasions to see the mother & she refused all invites to any meetings. Money was brought up & SW told the mother she was "out of order & wrong" to keep child benefit & the other benefits that are attached. I have never had any monies for GD off both parents. Out of the blue, the mother wanted to visit her own mother with GD in Leeds. I had a feeling something was going to happen & told the SW. Was told I had to hand GD over as I have no rights. That was in September & the overnight visit with the other Nan was staged. The mother has left GD in Leeds with other Nan (who I've previously had to give money to on the threat of having GD taken off me) & is now back in Manchester. SW refusing to do anything & I've not seen GD nor am I allowed to see her ever according to the mother & Nan. The reason was given that the SW was very rude to the mother over the phone in telling her she should not be claiming child ben for a child she left in my care!
The other Nan is in agreement & has not had any more contact with me after I declined to send her any money.
SW advise was to, leave things as they are & GD will be back with me soon as he can see the other nan & GD mother will eventually fall out again!

Gramma m 21/11/2017 at 1:39 am

My son has stopped letting us see our 8year old grandson. He has been a big part of our lives since he was born. His mother always allowed us access and he spent many weeks with us. When he started school we still got him on holidays and every other weekend. He spent most of the summer with us. Unfortunately his mother got into drugs and with a lot of help my son and his wife got custody. It was wonderful at first. He still came here on weekends and holidays and most of the summer as they both worked. I made a comment to my daughter that perhaps he could go home sometimes home at night as he was bored with no other children to play with. She got all out of joint and said that was too much trouble and her days off were for her. The next thing we know we are not allowed to see our grandson any longer.It has been almost 5 months now. We went there to give him a birthday present and he cried the whole time. We parked on the road to see him and I worried he would get in trouble but he said he didn't care. He misses us and loves us. I do believe this all came about due to their owing us money which we do NOT press for. She got in a rage and called me some very nasty things. I will admit I wasn't too pleasant either after. My son left a message saying they owe us nothing and thanks for all the gifts. The money is not an issue we just want to see our grandson. He has threatened us with a restraining order. Also a peace bond. Can he do this? Do we have any rights and if we do what do we do please.

Fedupfreda 09/11/2017 at 7:53 am

My 15 year old granddaughter lives with us after a breakdown in the relationship with her mum (not my daughter) and being thrown out. She is 16 next June and wishes to attend college rather than sixth form. Her mother has said no to that so I spoke to the college to check whether the mother's consent was needed. They told me it was not, and I cannot find anything definitive about this when I search online. We did apply for a child arrangements order but this was refused on the grounds that her mother told the court that she was more than happy for my granddaughter to be living with us and also because of her being 15 it would not matter much to my granddaughter to have this in place!!!!. My question is, can she attend college without her mother giving consent (the application form asks for the signature of a parent/carer) or can I sign the form for her. Her father is not around and does not have parental responsibility. Please help. Thank you

Pukkap 05/11/2017 at 9:59 pm

Some advic please I have had my granddaughter living with me for over a year now registered her in school doing very well 100% very happy settled it was an informal agreement between me and my daughter but now she wants her back for whatever reasons I’m not sure babysitter for younger sibling etc????? Every step I’m taking social services who is already involved with my daughter they don’t want to know all anyone keeps saying is PR . My granddaughter does not want to go back there ! Doesn’t even want to visit ???? Please advice anyone
Thank you

LawAndParents Editor 25/10/2017 at 2:06 pm

We really can't give specific advice on this but it would be a good idea to try and find some kind of mediation/dispute resolution service to help you all come to some arrangement that suits the three of you.

Mum14 23/10/2017 at 11:41 am

My 13 year old son and I have not been getting on for a while. I just put this down to hormones and teenagers thinking that they know everything. Over the summer holidays my son asked to stay with my mum (who I haven’t had a good relationship with for several years and we are not currently speaking). I let him stay over the holidays but when he returned the arguments became worse. My son asked if he could move in with his grandmother and I agreed as long as he came home at the weekends to help rebuild our relationship. I genuinely thought that this was a temporary arrangement and that he would want to come home after a few weeks. I have recently been told by my sister that my mum has spoken to a solicitor to try and gain legal guardianship of my son and that she has been discussing adoption with him! I know that she can’t legally do this without my permission but I feel that she is manipulating my son and making the situation worse. Do I force him to come home and put up with the arguments and my son being unhappy? Or do a let him continue staying with his grandmother and risk losing him completely? He comes from a good home and is well looked after and loved. I am a nurse and have always worked hard to provide the best for him

BEE BEE 23/09/2017 at 3:53 pm

My grandson is in hospital. He's nearly 8. I've looked after him every week since he was 2 weeks old. My daughter won't let me visit him on the ward. Even though I know he will want to see me. She is always very difficult I am allowed to look after him, clothe him and buy his shoes and take him out every weekend .But I can't attend sports day or nativity plays ,family birthday a ,or visir their home or even take my grandson to the park in his hometown

LawAndParents Editor 05/09/2017 at 11:59 am

No you can't simply take the children. If social services become involved, you can apply for a special guardianship order. Social services will usually encourage this as an alternative to taking a child into care or fostering.

Nannie l 03/09/2017 at 1:33 pm

Hi I have the same question as grandad D, need to know how I can protect and if I can take the children?

Sampson 31/08/2017 at 5:49 pm

Hi. My grandchild is 2 weeks old and was placed on child protection register before birth. After the birth mum and baby had to live with me and this relationship has broken down. My daughter has now placed the baby in the care of her partners family and returned to live with her partner. I've been refused all contact with the relative caring for the baby and want to make sure I have regular contact. We've been police checked and could provide a loving home for the baby if needed. I've arranged to see a solicitor but I'm worried her partner will kick her out and stop her from seeing her baby.

Grandad D 27/08/2017 at 10:14 am

My daughter is neglecting her children can I step in under UK law and take the children off hher before social services do.

LawAndParents Editor 24/08/2017 at 11:43 am

You should apply to the courts for a special guardianship order.

Blue 22/08/2017 at 6:18 pm

Our grandson is being taken into care in 2 wks, we were supposed to be named, should this arise, but we haven't. Can we apply now, the mother says he doesn't want him coming to us, after falling out with us. Our son & her were told not to have contact but they have!! What do we do now?

LawAndParents Editor 08/08/2017 at 11:56 am

Your son can apply to the courts for contact if the mother is not willing to make an amicable agreement. As a grandparent it's more difficult, but if your son has contact arrangements in place then it will be easier for you to see her at those times. Hopefully the mother will realise that she is depriving her daughter of her grandparent's love by refusing any contact as well.

Heartbroken Grandma 05/08/2017 at 8:40 pm

I've got a 6 year old grand daughter who up till 2 months ago we saw on a regular week to week basis staying with us overnight either Friday Saturday or Saturday Sunday this varied due to work commitments .her mother has now refused us access because of a misunderstanding between us which I apologised for since then no access has been allowed at all . My son can't see her either because he has a new partner who her mother doesn't like . We have tried contacting her on a number of occasions but with no joy please could you advise us of the steps we need to take to try and resolve this situation

LawAndParents Editor 24/07/2017 at 12:17 pm

This depends what arrangement you have for his care...i.e is whether it's a special guardianship order etc.

Out of my mind grand 17/07/2017 at 6:01 pm

Hi we have had our 13yr old grandson with us for 2yrs he has special needs our daughter can not cope with him, we have all his benefits,could you tell me if we are able to move to Northern Ireland with him thank you

Jackie 06/07/2017 at 9:53 am

Hi my Grandaughter came to live in Spain when her younger sister was born.Since then we got a SGO for the younger child but they would not give us one for the older child as she had lived in Spain over 5 years and told us to apply in Spain.When I asked in Spain they said it was the responsibility of England.I had a hearing at the family court in Liverpool last week and they told me to apply to Spain.Neither country want to know this child and she is left in limbo.

LawAndParents Editor 21/06/2017 at 12:17 pm

You could consider applying to the courts for a Special Guardianship Order apply for a special guardianship order but that pretty much removes the rights of anyone else with parental responsibility (i.e her parents). Alternatively you could consider a residence/shared residence order?

FedupFreda 19/06/2017 at 12:48 pm

My 14 year old granddaughter (15 in a couple of weeks) has been staying with us on and off for quite a few months due to a stormy mother/daughter relationship. The relationship between her and her mother (not our daughter) has now come to a head whereby she doesn't want to live with her mother and her future stepfather, and her mother has also said that she will not have her back home. Our granddaughter is now with us and we have now made it known that we are more than happy to provide a permanent safe, secure and stable home with us, which her mother is agreeing to. I believe that it would be sensible to have some sort of order in place to enable us to be able to arrange any doctor or dental appointments necessary and also to be able to make decisions in an emergency. Her mother is asking why we want to do this as she doesn't want to look foolish when she speaks to any legal professional about this. I have explained the reasons to her but would like advice on what potential steps we could take to secure our granddaughters future.

LawAndParents Editor 16/06/2017 at 1:55 pm

It's worth checking with social services if they were involved in the initial decision for your grand daughter to live with you. If all parties are in agreement it should not be too much of an issue to change the arrangements but we appreciate you want a third party to help decide what is best for the child. Could you speak with her school teachers? They may be able to refer you to someone locally for advice.

LawAndParents Editor 15/06/2017 at 1:59 pm

Is your son the father? Is he around? He could try applying for a residence order (custody order). Would the mother agree to you having special guardianship? A court might grant this if they thought it was in the best interests of your grandson.

FLC1972 14/06/2017 at 12:31 pm

Hi

I wondered if someone could advise me, we took our granddaughter on over 3 year a go and she is now 6.

We went to court to get parental rights which we share with her mum 50/50 and she also lives' with us, this is possible until she is 18.

She sees her mum as much as she can and she goes and stays with her in the holidays, we have now found out that our daughter is pregnant, and she would like to have her daughter back, which I understand.

But I don't now what I do about it, do we have to go back to court.

The social where involved at the time, as my daughter was doing drugs and drinking, we took our granddaughter on as we didn't want her to go in to care.
my daughter is doing really well and has a job and new home , but lives 2 hours from us.

We would love to see our granddaughter go back to her mum, but I'm also worried as our granddaughter is doing really well at school and in her little life generally, but I'm so worried that moving to her mums, new baby, new school could all be to much for her. and I wouldn't want to see this amazing little girl put back in any way.

Thank you, if anyone can give me some advise.
As we not sure really who to turn to.

Sootster 12/06/2017 at 5:44 pm

My grandson is 13yrs old. His mother refused to look after her children properly and Social Services have finally acknowledged that her parenting skills are poor despite three parenting skills programmes that she had to attend. He has recently been run over by a car on his way to school and she had caused further damage by making him walk on the foot. She will not spend any time at home looking after him or his older very autistic brother and just leaves them to fend for themselves, she only returns home with her 6 yr old son to sleep. My grandson is begging us to allow him to come and live with us. What is the legal position here please ? One of her other daughter's ( she has five children, different dads) has been removed by the father for her own safety and wellbeing as the youngest boy who has behavioural issues was hurting her. He is extremely violent to all of them. Please help.

Grandma 27/03/2017 at 2:31 pm

I am Grandma to a lovely 6yr old. His father and my daughter split when he was 1 and she has since remarried and had a baby girl. The paternal grandfather took her to court and was granted a contact order to see the lad every 6 weeks, supervised and in a public place. The father is a self confessed drug addict with a continuing criminal path including GBH, robbery, drug dealing etc and so my daughter wished to remove the lad for all chance of contact. The lad does not want to see the grandfather and told him so as the last meeting. His angry response was that he would see us in court - not that any solution could be worked out or that we could try again in a few months time. What can the courts actually do if the lad is so adamant he does not want any relationship at all with this man? Prior to the contact order the boy had not seen his grandfather for almost 2 years.

LawAndParents Editor 22/03/2017 at 11:06 am

No there are no specific laws that relate to this unfortunately. Could you say that you are not willing for her to sleep over (i.e she can just go for the day etc)? If not, perhaps you could have a word with your daughter and see if she can ask to ensure she sleeps in her own bed?

Rtr201 19/03/2017 at 12:08 pm

When ever my daughter (7) stays with her grandparen, she is co-sleeping with them. I have asked them to stop this as I feel she should have her own bed to sleep in. However they have refused to do as I have asked. I really don't want to stop my LG from going to stay but I am not happy to allow her to co-sleep. Is there law on the age of co-sleeping with grandchildren ?
Thanks

Tiddy305 17/02/2017 at 10:50 pm

Could you advise me regarding a matter concerning my grandson please. My daughter and her partner have separated some years back. Our grandsons father is acting unreasonable regarding items of clothing we purchased as a gift for our grandson, he simply will not return them to my daughter, consequently we, and our grandson are being deprived of experiencing his enjoyment of these gifts. There are other matters ongoing for which my daughter is seeking legal advice, however I feel that we independently need to act now.

LawAndParents Editor 26/01/2017 at 2:05 pm

If you cannot agree this between yourselves you may need a court order to help decide on the options that are available. If staying in the house is in the interests of the children, the courts may order that you stay in the home until they are of an age to leave.

mimi 25/01/2017 at 4:00 am

I have 3 of my grandchildren under a guardianship order granted in 2016. My spouse wants the sale of the matrimonial home as we are currently going through a divorce. I do not want the sale as the home was recently approved for the purposes of the guardianship.
what are my options?

Jules 08/01/2017 at 6:08 pm

I need to know what legal rights my partnersnd i have of our Granddaughter who is soon to be 9 years. Daughter recently got married my Grandaughter told me how unhappy she is .. they are refusing us to see her i know shes being bullied by his sisters son whos 13 years.

Debbie 28/12/2016 at 2:56 am

I've had temporary custody of my grandchildren for most of their lives, there mother has been involved with Child Services 3-4 times since 2006-2007. I took the kids out of house because my daughter couldn't care for them because of drinking I filed for permanent custody March 20215 I was given temporary custody again 6-2015 because my daughter went to jail for 9 months. My grandson wants nothing to do with his mother I think she broke his heart for the last time. She got custody back of my grandson. He doesn't want to go, he'll be 13 in February. She likes to drink and drive with kids in car. Please advise. Thank you Debra A. Davis

LawAndParents Editor 07/12/2016 at 10:42 am

There's nothing to stop him applying, but it will be the court's decision as to whether to grant it.

Ally 06/12/2016 at 2:44 am

My daughter has been living with my father for about 7 years. I was in school and trying to accomplish a carreer start. I have either live with them or live within 3-5 mins distance. She stays with me on alot of her breaks and her weekends. I am now moving across country for better job and family. She as well is excited. Her father and i have made our own agreement. If and when i am granted sole custody can her grandfather file custody against my already signed court order due to her living situation

Kerry 28/10/2016 at 6:58 pm

My 10 year old son has been attacking me for two years, yesterday I broke down and finally admitted it.
He's volatile towards his younger siblings and has told me he hates me and them and he wishes he was an only child.
He's run away, hurt himself and me, lies and steals.
I love him but I have to think of all the children's safety.
My dad has offered to have him live with him which hurts but might be for the best, is there someone I need to tell in order for this to happen?

LawAndParents Editor 26/10/2016 at 2:29 pm

She can choose where she lives at the age of 16. It's sensible to discuss this with her parents first though.

Grandma D 25/10/2016 at 11:32 am

My 16 year old granddaughter ran away from home and wants to live with me a lot of people have told me now she is 16 she can do what she wants ie live with her grandparents on the other hand the police said she has to listen to her parents and go back home because she is not yet 18. Who is right?

Jewels 01/09/2016 at 9:08 pm

My daughter and his partner have a child, my daughter is pregnant. Her partner mum does not speak to him or like him, she has previously taken the child out for a few hours but relations are now very strained. My daughter wants no more contact with her as it is very hurtful to her partner that his mum does not like him but still takes his daughter out. Can they stop her having contact so they can get in with their lives without this negative influence

LawAndParents Editor 25/08/2016 at 11:17 am

You don't have many rights as a grandparent unfortunately. Is your grandson's mother still living with you? Does she wnat to have your grandson living back with you all? If so all you can do is offer your support. If your son has contact with your grandson, can you ask him to meet up with you so you can spend some time with your grandson?

Jo 24/08/2016 at 10:24 pm

I've. Had my grandson 4 days sometimes more on a weekly basis as my sons ex girlfriend was only 18 when she had my grandson. They split and he ended up in prison and she was partying 24/7 and left the baby with me. I had told her I would get her help and took her doctors! I just wanted her to be a good mum she was missing out on so much with her son. Out of spite she got her half sister to step in and have my grandson a few days a week on her behalf and I carried on having him the other half! I told the sister to tell my grandson s mother if she didn't pull her socks up and start lookin after her son that I will have no other option than to take this further and apply for residence rright. Apparently she signed him over to the sister and the sister claims for him! Social services no the situation. And no I here's here with me 4 days a week and with her 3 days! She gets all the help and I don't get any help from no one ! Even though the money isn't a big issue its my grandson gets passed from pillow to post every week is there any help I can apply for as I can't afford to provide all time as I have 5 kids my self.

LawAndParents Editor 02/08/2016 at 11:21 am

We really can't make this judgement for you. How old are your children? Would they be able to tell you afterwards - or is this too much of a riskl? Both the father and their father could be guilty of an offence if they deliberately contravene a child protection order?

Mum44 01/08/2016 at 3:58 pm

Hi my kids are under child protection order and can't see their dad his parents want me to let them take my children out I have recordings of his mum lying to me about simple things because her son asked her to lie so how do I know she won't give him access to the kids? Do I trust them or my gut instinct that is screaming not to do it?

Gma 26/07/2016 at 5:32 pm

I live in Texas. My granddaughter had her child removed by CPS and placed with me as safety. Nothing legal. She is now in rehab. Cps case was closed and they agreed child should live with me since she has for a year. The father took her for his visitation time this month and went and signed an affidavit that he now has possession of the child. What can I do to get her back to her home. The home she knows. I am devastated. My grdaughter is so doing so well in rehab and will be home I'm 3 mos. Please advise..

Lee 23/06/2016 at 6:57 am

Have I and my husband got any chance of getting our grandchildren my daughter has just had them took off her and placed into care but my husband has an old criminal record but he was never convicted

Jess 21/05/2016 at 4:38 pm

My 2 young grandchildren were placed with me on a care order almost 3 mths ago. I am perternal grandmother but there mother wants them to stay with a family member of hers. One of the children was injured and the doctors are saying it's suspicious as there's no way the injury could of occurred the way she says. It was several days later before he was taken for medical help.
When they came to me it was the 3rd time they had been moved in 6mths, there was also clear signs of mental abuse which clearly showed in there behavior.
I believe they should stay with me until at least the court case has finished as it wouldn't be fair to them to move to another family member only to have to move back with there mother if it turns out it was an accident. Also if they did go to the other family member and it turn out it was deliberate, this is the family who would of all tried to cover up what really happened. It isn't just the mother who's under suspicion.
Is there anything I can do to make sure they stay with me until at least the court case is over.

LawAndParents Editor 27/04/2016 at 10:38 am

Yes you can apply for either:
Kinship Fostering where the local authority (social services) would have legal responsibility for your grandson but are happy to place him with you, as a family member who would become a foster carer
A Special Guardianship Order, a court order which would give you parental control over your grandson. Contact social services and say you want to go ahead with one of these options. Or try calling the Family Rights Helpline on 0808 801 0366 for advice in how to go about this.

Loulou24 26/04/2016 at 8:21 am

Hi my grandson was taken from his mum on sunday ss placed him into emergency foster care do I have any rites to have him I can't stand the thought of him being with strangers he will be so lost as he only 2 years old aim told they have to access me and could take up to 6 months his mother has given ss my name as she would like him to come to me is there anything I can do.?

LawAndParents Editor 15/04/2016 at 2:37 pm

Make a complaint to the Director of Social Services about the misinformation and lack of payment.

Alfie 13/04/2016 at 6:03 pm

I used to recieve my residencial care payment every month with out fail.Now i have a new socialworker i am not getting it every month.I rang the child support and they said they would get to bottom it why is isnt being paid.Today i have had my socialworker on the phone telling me not to contact them again.She keeps telling me to check my account but finaince tells me that she still hasnt sent the payment request. I last recieved a payment on february 17th 2016.Of £100.

kate 24/03/2016 at 8:00 pm

hi I have 9 yr old twin daughters who lived with myself my husband and our 3 other children...up until 6 wks ago....They have always had regular contact with their biological father which we both agreed to in court...earlier this year they begged and begged to reside with their father...We eventually came to a mutual agreement that the girls could reside with their father and contact would be reversed...a few days before they were due to move they made up a story in school and lied about my husband and I shouting and frightening them as a result social services were invovled...now the investigation has been dropped with 'no further action' and the girls have moved in with their father....I have not had any contact with them for 6 wks their father says (via email) they don't want to see me or speak to me...It is breaking my heart...Their sisters and baby brother are missing them...I have tried sending a letter with little gifts but their father emails saying that they have discarded it...im sorry for the long Winded message but I'm at my wits end...surely my daughters are too young to decide on no contact with me when I've done nothing wrong!!! please help x

LawAndParents Editor 24/03/2016 at 12:15 pm

When he goes to bed, is he allowed to keep his phone or any other electronics such as an ipad, laptop or games etc? Tell him you're trialling a forntnight where all this is taken away at 9.30pm and then he can read a book in bed with a milky drink. This might just work and he may realise that the sleep that's been eluding him is actually really worth trying to catch up on.

Dwhyz1 22/03/2016 at 12:17 pm

Hi, my grandson's name is Devan & he has been living with my wife and i(she isn't his grandmother). Lately his attitude toward Cc (my wife) has become very hostile and he has been threatening her every morning by saying different things about killing her. I have started telling him that if he didn't quit I was going to have to have him committed to some sort of hospital or have him put into a home for troubled children. I so don't want to do this, I bring him to church every week & I don't allow him to play any video games that have any violence, I'm trying the best I can I think. All of this because he doesn't have enough sleep and we have to wake him early to go to school. He has gotten to the point that he turns it around and is saying that we are the worst, he doesn't want to live with us anymore. He wants to go live with his grandmother because she lets him sleep even though I tell him that she would have to wake him and send him to school also.
Please help me learn how to deal with him at this time (during school), he isn't like this when he isn't going to school and having to get up early. Thank you, Derwyn

charlie 20/03/2016 at 3:43 pm

Hi there my sister is a bit concern about having her 2 girls back from there grandmother house but they got pr on them but if the court finished could she have right to have her 2 girls back even when the court said there nothing on her because she worried that she cannot have them back

Nanny 18/03/2016 at 11:44 am

My daughter and 2 grandchildren live with me and my husband after her husband left her, my daughter works and I look after the children, taking and picking them up from school, cooking for them etc. I just want to know where I stand with their welfare

LawAndParents Editor 10/03/2016 at 1:55 pm

Would your daughter consent to a parental responsibility agreement?

Hooeful123 08/03/2016 at 3:56 am

My 9 year old granddaughter has been living with us for 5 years. We have no legal rights. Our daughter would consider something joint but nothing where she has to give up her parental rights. Any suggestions?

honey 01/03/2016 at 11:50 am

My 12 yr old grandson has been living with me for 2yrs my daughter still claims child benefit / tax credits she doesn't contribute to the childs upkeep at all, I have no legal rights over the child? Can I still claim child benefit

LawAndParents Editor 11/02/2016 at 11:36 am

You may have to seek permission from the court to do so - we don't know the reason your mother was granted guardianship, so it's difficult for us to comment.

Trina 09/02/2016 at 12:35 pm

My 2 children live with my mother on a gardeonship order my son is 13. An wonts to come bk to stay with me can I do this

LawAndParents Editor 01/02/2016 at 2:10 pm

If she feels he is doing something illegal she could have a word with the police. There is a risk of a criminal record though. Can the school help?

Maggie 29/01/2016 at 11:50 pm

I have a friend in her late 60’s who took in her 16 year old grandson because he has no other relatives. He is not attending school and is roaming the streets with a bad crowd. He smokes cigarettes and weed and brings kids to the house when his grandma is not home. He is spinning out of control. What legal action does his grandma have?

don 11/01/2016 at 9:15 am

my daughter has had her 3 year old daughter removed from her care and placed up for adoption without my daughters consent.it was heartbreaking having to say goodbye to her at a contact centre.my daughter has been through enough the social servesis told lies I have been through enoughsuffering from a child snatch from the age of seven they left me with 7 other children it was in fact my daughter who was snatched who has now had her daughter taken the social services took her child from her nursery

missability 28/11/2015 at 3:25 am

I am heartbroken... My son married his wife a yr after HS. (2001). They lived in Pennsylvania, but my husband and I had moved to South Carolina for his job in 2006. They began having financial problems, so they sold their house, and moved down here to SC in March of 2009, within weeks my daughter-in-law was pregnant. They were staying with us in a tiny 2 bedroom apt. and once she became pregnant, and my son left his job, they agreed they could not afford to move out on their own with a baby coming. So my then 69 yr old husband, and I took every dime we had and bought a 4 bedroom house so we could all live together, and I could help with the baby. When we did this I told them repeatedly that they had to be sure, because it would kill me to get close to my grand-child and then have her taken away from me, I also told them that when she got older, (like in her teens, when she can know the full consequences of a decision), if the time ever came when we did decide "mutually", to part ways, they couldn't just leave us with this monster house payment, on fixed incomes...that we would have to have sold it, or make other mutually agreeable arrangements before they left. We also agreed that they would pay "half" of the mortgage, and a a determined amount of the utilities. Expenses grow every year, and their rent was raised one time for $20. So we bought the house. It will soon be 6 years we have lived here, and over 7 years since they moved in with us at the apartment. We do not get along, there is a lot of arguing, usually over housework, cooking, laundry, and money. But mostly because I tell them how wrong some of the stuff they do with their daughter/ my grand-daughter is. (I will refrain from giving examples until such time as it is absolutely necessary, my hope is that it doesn't come to that). My daughter-in-law lost her job in early 2013 due to the company moving their office out off state, shortly thereafter she got another job, but soon got MRSA. So she began a 2 yr program at a local community college. In the beginning she told me she would find another job and get back on track with paying rent and utilities bi-weekly, but until that time she would just give me what she could of her school "stipend", and yearly tax returns to stay "caught-up"...That is how it has been for over 2 years now, My husbands income pays everything but the internet/cable, until she can give me a lump sum, but within weeks they are behind again...I was doing this because I thought it was insurance that she could better herself with a degree, eventually have a good and more permanent job, and it would benefit ALL of us in the home if they could pay regularly again, and when my husband finally retired we would not have to worry. My husband is now 75 yrs old, and already lost his job of 14 years due to the economic crisis, he got another but it pays almost $1200 a month less, needless to say our income is not what it was when we bought the house. Some months they

Ler 21/10/2015 at 9:36 pm

Social services took my grandson away fm me after raising him for 10 years cos there was a family dispute grandson wasnt even there .ive been fighting for 16 mths to get him bk ...s.s have lied ..failed my grandson every possible way ..hes asked to come home .even wrote beggin letters ..s.s blank him .s.s are evil people

Toni89 25/09/2015 at 11:13 pm

My brother and his girlfriend were today told that social services are now trying to put in place court proceedings to take there baby away from them from both! What rights as I Aunty do I have , could I go for legal guardianship ? Or could my mother ? Please help ..... We are willing to do anything to get the baby to stay with us

bettyboop 25/09/2015 at 12:24 pm

I have provided everything for my grandson who is 7 1/2 years old as both his parents are on drugs, and use infront of the child, his mum already had a son who has been placed with a family member on a residency order, my grandson has lived with me for almost 5 years. I want to know how long a residency order will take as they will contend this, and I don't think my grandson is safe with them, they don't buy food as they spend all their monies on heroin and white. please help

annie 18/09/2015 at 1:04 am

MY Daughter has a 4 months old child and she is on drugs and her partner drinks so social services are involved. She has fetched him to me to care for him while they sort themselves out can i take him without getting in trouble

LawAndParents Editor 22/06/2015 at 2:35 pm

@nana. You'll have to talk to a benefits adviser about this really. You should Citizen's Advice Bureau first of all.

nana 17/06/2015 at 6:16 pm

my grandsons age 3 and 5 ave live with me nearly a year now their mum gives me money towards they food clothes ect im getting them full time and ave to claim 4 them soon will I be able to pack my part time job in to take care of them full time and claim benefits 4 them im getting a residency order social workers involved as they placed them in my care in the first place

Hope 12/06/2015 at 4:44 am

I just found out that my daughter is moving 5 states away and my 16 year old grandson doesn't want to go. He is a good young man and is in football. He has made many great friends at his school. He wants to live with his grandparents and continue to go to the same school. His mother says no he has to go with them. I am afraid if she makes him go things might go really bad. She is a hard head and likes to create drama. Do I as a grandparent and the other grandparents have any say in this. We would love to have him stay and not be uprooted. He really doesn't want to move.

LawAndParents Editor 02/06/2015 at 11:25 am

@Snoopy. If she wants this and the mum will not agree, they will have to seek a court order. The courts will take your daughter's views into consideration and make a decision based on her best interests.

Snoopy 30/05/2015 at 12:12 pm

Hi - My Daughter has been Involved with a bad crowd & involved in drugs. She phoned her Nan & said she wants a fresh start & wants to live with her & go to School there so knowone knows her past. Her Auntie & uncle live in the same house & another Auntie & cousins close by. Her Mum does not want her to live with them but my Daughter has said that her Mum can't control her & they would be able to ensure she gets to School etc. She's 15 & will be 16 in September this year. Just want to know where we stand? Thanks

Blair 28/05/2015 at 7:53 pm

Please help, my friend and ex partner have parted ways but they have no legal documents of responsibility and the father has taken the child to his mother's home for her to care for, the father doesn't live at his mother's home and isn't there with the child so can my friend go to the police and ask them to go with her and collect her child.

LawAndParents Editor 28/04/2015 at 9:50 am

@lindy. If you have a residence order, your daughter would need to go back to the courts to get this overturned.

lindy 22/04/2015 at 5:52 pm

Hi I was wondering if anyone could answer my question my daugter 1st son lives with me he has been sincehe was four moth old he now 5 year old and her other 2 dont live with her she text me and told me she was pregnant again on the 6th march because I didnt reply cause I wasn't pleased she told everyone I fell out with her and im stopping her seeing her1st son who lives with me wich she never come up to see him since 6th march . Now she phoneing me and texting threatening me about my grandson who live with me could you tell me where I stand ive got residency order ivetryed contacting the other 2 social worker but no joy , thnk you.

LawAndParents Editor 07/04/2015 at 12:17 pm

@nickname. Your best option is to apply to the courts for a residence order. here's how to do it.

Nickname 01/04/2015 at 9:11 pm

Hello, my partner has a little girl who is 26 months old. She lived with the mother and the grandmother, we see her on a regular basis 3/4 times a week but not overal 50% of the time. Mother of child has moved over 150 miles away. Mother wants baby to carry on living with grandparent and continue with fathers access. Father is not happy about this, is on baby's birth certificate. Father wrote a letter stating this and how he feels baby would be better to live here with father & partner, where she has her own room & needs can be met. Also it's not grandparents responsibility, he feels she should live with him. Mother has been gone a week and has not responded to letter. All we know is she will be gone for 3 years and will be back once a fortnight. What's our next step? Thankyou

LawAndParents Editor 24/02/2015 at 1:57 pm

@ksenia. You could try applying to the courts for a residence order Residence Order or a Special Guardianship order. There's lots of Information about grandparents and the law at the Grandparents Association.

Ksenia 22/02/2015 at 12:10 pm

Hi , I have a beautiful granddaughter , and have been with her from birth , both myself and my partner , We have put up with a lot of stuff from my daughter prior to her getting pregnant, and thought this would be the end, and start of something good for her. She was with the boy only 8 weeks before getting pregnant, he didn't want a baby, but agreed to keep it, he had no intentions and teat her like her like dirt , that lasted 4 months , after he tbreatned to have the baby kicked out of her. We bought everything ready for the birth , Jan 2014 ,
When baby was 2 months old already my daughter was seeing a boy , she was 21 , he was ,26 he was using her for her money but she couldn't see , she was living with me, but having weekends at his , getting lo get and longer as I was not happy , the baby was dirty on coming home , he once locked her and baby in his flat with no electric , so she couldn't feed baby , I was angry and annoyed she put the baby thru this, a lot more happens , this affair lasted 4 months and she was already on to number 2 , he was down and out druggie , she put my granddaughter through hell with him , running after him., leaving her with us , texting saying she wants him and is not coming home , to look after the baby , this went on for months ... Now I get mental abuse , swearing , she isn't in no relationship , living at home , can be the nicest person , but the nastiest too, her temper is evil if woken up , she shouts screams at the baby , often we have had to take baby away and have her through the night in our bed , she is loving and bouncy , so jolly and happy with us , my daughter now threatens to take her away from me so I can't see her again , this baby has been brought up by myself and my partner , I don't want to loose her ... Please help me !!

LawAndParents Editor 12/02/2015 at 10:36 am

@DK. Firstly, is there no chance you can make arrangements to see your grandson when he is at his father's (your son's)? Secondly - as you know, you don't have automatic visitation rights but can apply via the courts for a contact order. The courts do appreciate the valuable role that grandparents can play in a child's life but you will need legal assistance to get this sorted effectively. Your other option would be to ask your ex daughter in law and son to join you for a mediation session in which a formal agreement can be drawn up for visits on certain dates, say for the next 12 months.

Dk 09/02/2015 at 2:39 am

I want to know where I stand as a grandparent. I have an 8 year old grandson who I love with all my heart. I had him stay with me every week from being 2 weeks old. But in the last year i have only had him stay about 6 times. When I talk to my son about it he just says it's because she has a new boyfriend and when I contact my grandsons mum she sayshe is tired at the end of the school week and as my son has him every weekend at his house now I don't get to see him. If I have to go to court to get to see him I will. But I need some advice first. Can someone help me? I have been told that masked men have burst into my grandsons home and took a car and slapped the new boyfriend but I can't seem to get to the bottom of this. I need some advice please help.

Twiggy 31/01/2015 at 11:08 am

How do I get residency order n do parents have to know I am goin for one?

LawAndParents Editor 30/01/2015 at 2:05 pm

@Twiggy. No, you would have to have a residency order (obtained via the courts) to claim any monies for the child. You need to try and come to some arrangements with the parent(s) - possibly via an independent mediator.

Twiggy 29/01/2015 at 8:00 am

Hi my problem in short is I hav my 12yr old grandchild living with me my grandchild has been here a few months now n doesn't want to go home as there are a few problems there I want to know if I am entitled to claim money tht my grandchild is entitled to at present it goes to her parent but if I ask for it I get told my grandchild has to go home as the parent carnt afford to loose money (emotional blackmail ) I know if I claim money the parent will cause trouble demanding the child goes home I need to know how to stop this n claim money too what rights do I have my grandchild is willing to go to court n say she wants to stay here with grandparents thank you

LawAndParents Editor 10/10/2014 at 12:02 pm

@Tina Ellis. You should present the facts as they stand, rather than trying to work out what will make each indivual 'look best'. You are absolutely correct, that your grandson's interests are what matters most and should be at the heart of any decision the court makes.

Tina Ellis 09/10/2014 at 8:32 pm

My grandsons mother left him when he was 6months old. The social services placed him with his dad at our house. Dad has moved and left the baby here the mother was visitin but she disappeared for 6months she has now shown up demanding to see baby he is 2 abd half now. I said no but my hubby says it will look bad if it went to court that we stopped her seeing him. Dad dont want him either social services closed the case. We asked dad to sign him over but he wants the benefits inc a flat. We just do not no what way to turn and will it look bad in court if after her not bein around for 6months I refuse her to visit? Mum visits for 6 weeks disappears for four previously. I just dont want my grandson messed up any more.

LawAndParents Editor 06/06/2014 at 10:31 am

@Felicity and everyone else. Thanks for sharing your experiences, we'd love to hear from anyone else especially those who have successfully managed to get to see their grandchildren on a more regular basis following a series of events like those mentioned.

Felicity 05/06/2014 at 9:40 pm

I think I may be getting the same problem of sorts too-- basically awkward daughter in law to deal with , it seems with control problems. --- my grandson is 7 yrs old now and I've had him to stay since he was 3 months old. For various amounts of time ,obviously more when younger and not at school.--- in the past couple of years have had a ccouple of altercations with her and the last one was because she heard me and my daughter critisising her.--- she always seems to bring my grandson into the equation afterwards , even though he is nothing to do with it and his visits get affected. She says she does not want any contact with us now ( me and my daughter) and has now fallen out with my other son , her brother -in- law ,! Who was only trying to put things more right. I'm hoping not to have to go to courts but I am worried about seeing grandson, who I love dearly. Please let me know how you are getting on now and what you think you will do.

lulu 20/04/2014 at 1:26 pm

please can someone advise me what to to do.
I have a 3 month old grandson and my son is with a young girl who is a control freak. she wouldnt let me see my grandson on mothers day and told me its not my right to see my grandon.. she tells my son if he brings my grand son to visit me that they are finished. she uses emotioal blackmail all the time with my son..the last straw was when i texted her and asked to see my grandson she sent several text message insulting my home by saying its not clean and is a health risk..i can assure you i have a lovely home and is child friendly'
I have been very good to her and have always made her welcome in my home..
she has now caused a big rift with my son and myself; i think my son is afraid of her because he will not speak up for me or himself..i have tried to be patient but now i feel like i need to get the courts involved..please can you advice me..

sur 02/03/2014 at 3:44 pm

I have my granddaughter as her mum dropped her off and said she did not want her she is 13.the police and social service say she can stay here as she too old to be forced home.the problem i have ismy daughter turns up on my door step when ever she likes the is not ideal for us.what can i do to stop this.

Stacy 03/01/2014 at 8:46 pm

Hi I'm a grandmother to my beautiful 2 year old grandaughter . My son passed away 2 years ago. Can some one help me by telling me what rights I have to my grandaughter because I don't think her mother is fit to be her mother . I don't want to say horrible things about her I just want to no how to help my grandaughter can anyone help me please . Thanks in advance !

sasym2 19/06/2013 at 11:50 pm

I have a 6 year old son to my previous partner. im now with my new partner. we have been living together for the last 18 months. my partner is 3 months pregnant. my 6 year old son is living with my parents. he has lived with them since he was 8 wks old. my ex partner handed him over to my father. she has only seen him a couple of times since then. since me and my current partner have moved in together we have my son at weekends only. we want my son to live with us but my parents won't let him live with us. the reasons they come up with are he's happy at his current school. he's in a routine. they say its easier for us. theres a perfectly good school where we stay. he would soon settle into a routine with us. we want him to be part of the family. they're worried we won't have enough money as my partner was dismissed from her work at Christmas and has been unable to find a job. she is on job seekers allowance. my parents obtained a residency order in 2010 to stop my sons mother from getting him but they won't change it so that he can live with us. we only live 10 miles down the road from them. we don't want to stop them from seeing him but feel he should live with us. I am his biological father I lived with my parents uptil last year when me and my partner got our own house. i'm greatful to my parents for looking after my son so I could go out to work to provide for my son but feel things should change now. please help.

dee 19/06/2013 at 11:27 am

as a very consern mum of 3 two boys and my little girl as my new partner reviced a phone call from one of the socail severes saying for me to start seeing my scecond aldest brandon that i haven't seen him scence 2009 they said that i had to write a letter to prove that i still love him which i still do from the miuntie they got taken my heart has never stoped loving them in fact my love for them will never end untill the day i die but then it wont stop there it will still be goning on forever,do social serves have the right to turn around to say that i don't love my children as i haven't been calling to see how my son is doing wen they stoped my contacts not me as they blamed me for my sons behavior problems and my ex boyfriend started all theses millishous actusations about myself and my new partner yes which is a women as my ex he's cause all this troble even getting teenagers to start on me and my new partner getting also people to call me the worst mum on this plant and at lest they've still got there kids it just makes me feel that i don't wont to be around and just shut myself away from everyone as my new partner she's been there at the start of all this and she's been picking up the pieaces every time im on a low and it just also feels like my whole word has just been torn apart yes its been to court but my ex partner won't things to go his way and he turned my whole family against me saying that it was all my fault while i spilt up with him and he really turned it nasty in court saying that the children should live with him and that he did belive in two women bring up his 3 children then he got my mum involed and she said the same and called my new partner names and said that my children would be better off living with her and she would let my ex partner see the childern more then she'll let me see them and she said that it was worng wot i was doing coming out as a lesbian and she did won't two women looking and bring up her grandchildren and that she'll take every right away from me to stop me havin acesses to my children and not only that she won't let my new partner come to where she live as it would make her feel sick.

cardie 02/04/2013 at 10:21 am

i would like to know, if someone could help me? i'm just recently divorced,and my ex-wife just had our little Daughter, how cam i know if my name is on the birth certificate as the father? if not,what can i do to make sure my name is on it,and that i have some influence and saying on my daughter's upbringing and be involved in her live and have a relationship with her? please if someone knows what to do i would be very gratefull for the sharing of your experience and knowledge...
cheers...

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