Do I Have the Right to Know Where My Children Are?

Originally written by Lorna Elliott, updated by the editorial team on 18th May 2026

C.M asks

My ex-partner left me with the care of our 2 children a year ago. He has a new partner whom he doesn't live with and my children stay at her house every other weekend. My ex-partner frequently turns his mobile phone off or has it on silent, so if there was an emergency I have no way of contacting him and getting a response.

I've asked him to provide me with details of where our children are staying on these weekends, just in case anything happens and he is refusing to give them. He has parental responsibilty for our 3-year-old but not for our son. Am I within my rights to know where my children are?

Understanding your rights as a parent

When your children spend time with their other parent, it's natural to want to know where they are. This becomes a common concern when ex-partners move home, start new relationships, or simply refuse to share address details. The question of whether you have a legal right to know your children's whereabouts is one that many separated parents ask.

There is no automatic legal requirement for one parent to tell the other exactly where the children will be during contact time. However, the situation is more nuanced, and there are circumstances where you may be able to obtain this information or where a court might order it to be provided.

How parental responsibility works in practice

If you have parental responsibility for your child, you share equal legal standing with the other parent when it comes to making decisions about your child's upbringing. Mothers who give birth automatically have parental responsibility, though different rules apply in cases involving adoption or surrogacy. Fathers have parental responsibility automatically if they were married to the mother at the time of birth, or if their name was added to the birth certificate after 1 December 2003. The relevant date is when the father's name was registered, not when the child was born. In other cases, fathers can acquire parental responsibility through a formal agreement or court order.

Having parental responsibility does not mean that every decision about a child needs joint approval. The Children Act 1989 recognises that this would be unworkable in daily life. When a child is in the care of one parent, that parent generally has the authority to make routine decisions about day to day care and activities without consulting the other. This includes choices about meals, bedtimes, and everyday outings. Only decisions that significantly impact the child's upbringing typically require both parents to agree.

This principle was set out in the case of D v D (Shared Residence Order) [2001] 1 FLR 495, where the court acknowledged that the parent currently caring for a child must be free to make decisions during that time. The other parent should not generally interfere with matters during the other's parenting time.

So while you have parental responsibility and a legitimate interest in your child's welfare, this does not automatically translate into a right to know every detail of where your child will be when with the other parent.

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When you might be entitled to know the address

There are situations where knowing your child's location becomes more than a matter of preference. If you have welfare concerns, you may have grounds to seek more information. These concerns might include worries about the physical safety of a particular environment, the presence of someone who poses a risk to your child, or circumstances that could affect your child's health or emotional wellbeing.

Consider the following scenarios:

Your ex-partner has moved and you have no way of contacting them in an emergency
You have specific concerns about the safety of a new partner or household member
There is a history of domestic abuse or safeguarding issues
Court orders are already in place that include provisions about disclosure of addresses
Your child has medical needs that require you to know their whereabouts

In these cases, you may be able to make an application to the family court. A specific issue order can require the other parent to disclose the address where the children will be staying, though the court will only make such an order if it serves the child's welfare rather than simply satisfying a parent's preference. A prohibited steps order might prevent a parent from taking a child to certain locations, while a child arrangements order can include provisions about where a child may stay overnight.

If there are existing child arrangements orders in place, you might also consider whether a variation is needed to include a requirement for address disclosure. This can sometimes be agreed between parents through mediation without the need for a contested court hearing.

Practical steps you can take

Before taking legal action, it may be worth trying to resolve the matter directly. Many parents refuse to share addresses because of privacy concerns, fear of harassment, or simply a breakdown in communication. A calm conversation explaining why you feel you need the information can sometimes help.

If direct communication is difficult, family mediation can provide a neutral setting to discuss these issues. A trained mediator can help both parents understand each other's concerns and work towards a practical solution. You can find information about mediation services through the Family Mediation Council or by searching for local services through GOV.UK.

It may also help to consider what information you actually need. If your main concern is being able to reach your children in an emergency, would a phone number be sufficient? Could you agree that your ex-partner will inform you of any overnight stays at a different address? Sometimes a compromise can address the underlying concern without requiring full address disclosure.

If you do decide to make a court application, you will usually need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting first. This is a legal requirement for most private family law applications and helps ensure that court proceedings are a last resort. There are specific exemptions from attending a MIAM, including where domestic abuse is involved or where there is a risk of harm to the child.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

What the court will consider

If the matter does reach court, a judge will focus on the welfare of the child as the paramount consideration. The court may ask Cafcass to become involved. This is the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service, and their officers can investigate circumstances, speak to the child where appropriate, and provide recommendations to the court about what arrangements would best serve the child's interests.

The court will weigh up various factors, including:

The reasons why the address is being withheld
Whether there are genuine safety concerns on either side
The age and needs of the child
The history of the parents' relationship and any previous court orders
Whether disclosure would genuinely benefit the child's welfare

Courts may be reluctant to order address disclosure where there is a history of domestic abuse or controlling behaviour, as this could put the other parent or the child at risk. Equally, a court may take a dim view of a parent who withholds information without good reason, particularly if it causes unnecessary distress or makes emergency contact impossible.

Where parents share custody under a child arrangements order, the expectation is generally that both parents will have sufficient information to contact each other in emergencies. However, this does not necessarily extend to knowing the precise address at all times, unless the order specifically requires it.

The outcome will depend heavily on the specific circumstances of your case. There is no guaranteed result, and each family's situation is different.

Getting legal advice

If you are concerned about not knowing where your children are during contact time, it may be worth seeking legal advice tailored to your situation. A family solicitor can help you understand your options and whether a court application is likely to succeed.

You may be able to get legal aid if you meet the financial eligibility criteria and if your case involves certain issues such as domestic abuse or child protection concerns. The GOV.UK website has information about legal aid eligibility and how to apply. Citizens Advice can also provide general guidance on family law matters and help you find local support services.

Many solicitors offer a free or fixed fee initial consultation, which can give you a clearer picture of where you stand without committing to expensive legal proceedings.

While the law does not give you an automatic right to know your children's exact location at all times, there are routes available if you have genuine concerns. The key is to focus on your child's welfare and to explore all options for resolving the matter before turning to the courts.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Parental Rights Checker lets you check your legal rights as a parent on education, health and welfare decisions. Try it now →

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133 questions

Ask Law and Parents a Question

LawAndParents Editor 17/05/2026 at 1:30 pm

@Dustin If you share parental responsibility and your son is under 18, you should be kept informed about significant matters, including court proceedings. Your ex isn't strictly obliged to give you a running commentary, but major decisions affecting his welfare should be shared. If she's refusing, you can contact his solicitor directly or, if he's in the youth justice system, speak to the Youth Offending Team handling his case. They'll usually engage with both parents where possible.

Dustin 11/06/2023 at 6:17 pm

My son is in trouble with courts. Is my ex required to tell me what is going on with his situation

Y 30/10/2022 at 8:37 am

My ex partner left while I was 30 weeks pregnant with no real explanation as to why. I later found out this is because he met someone he works with and has since gone into a relationship with her. However, he did inform me that he was seeing someone, but he lied about who she was and where she lived. After them being together for roughly a month (or so he claims) he asked if my son could meet her. I said I wasn’t comfortable with it as women tend to come and go in his life and it’s not in our sons best interest to be meeting different women consistently. I don’t drive, If I said yes to my son meeting her, I would believe that my son is over an hour away (on public transport) and if there was an emergency, I would believe he’s at a hospital too far away for me to get there in reasonable time. I found out about a month later that this woman and story he cooked up doesn’t exist. She in fact lives right around the corner from me and I have seen his car there on several occasions. I did confront him about his lie and I said “I’m not bothered that your with her, but you lied and I see that as a risk to our son” he became very defensive and still wouldn’t let his lie go. Which leads to believe he is either living a double life (although I doubt it) or he is still continuing to lie to me about it. Then the woman he is dating (who is also 15 years older than me) messages me saying that I need to “keep her name out of my mouth”, I see this as a threat and because of this, I feel that I don’t want her anywhere near my son due to her message, as she could treat him like this or be negative towards him. I do not care that they’re together and if the father could prove to me that he was going to be with her long term (although his relationships never last more than a year) I would have no issue with her meeting my son. However, due to the lie about where and who my son is with, and the message she has sent, I am not comfortable with the situation and do not want her to meet my son.

Li 28/09/2022 at 4:24 pm

My ex and I have been separated for 8 years. He does not have contact at all and does not pay. Our son has moved schools recently (for positive educational reasons) and he wishes to know where. He randomly chooses to attend parents evenings which has proven in the past to be very distressing for the child. Do I have to tell him where he is? Or is the onus on him to find out? My son does NOT want him having access to any of his school work but I know there is nothing I can do to stop that once he knows where he is.

Frama 08/08/2022 at 7:04 am

I have been separated from the ex for 5 years now, I do get regular contact as I live around the corner, 50 yards !! The ex is back in love again, so him and her are organising holidays abroad and at home, I don’t get told that he’s going wether it’s abroad or at home!
Am I entitled to know when and where he is being taken, my ex and her partner are both social workers ???

Paul h 06/07/2021 at 5:55 pm

I would like to know what rights I have regarding my ex partner who has moved to another city with my daughter. She still allows me to have my her but refuses to let me know her new address or my daughters new school. She did this without my consent. We are still officially married and I am on the birth certificate.

The reason she is not telling me is because I recently found out that she has moved in with her new partner and is illegally subletting her housing association house out to family.

Jo 08/04/2021 at 9:00 am

My partner is a good man and loving father to his 2 children from a previous relationship as well as my 2 older sons and our young son. Despite this his ex has said a lot of terrible and untrue things to his children in the past which has had a terrible impact on the relationship with their dad. She refuses to communicate with my partner and makes him communicate through her boyfriend who she has been with for 18 months. She has recently claimed my partner is verbally abusive to her which is not true in any way and he has had to keep records of any past communication between them which only shows her sending him horrible messages and him not having much of a reaction to them. She often does not give him information about the children's health and have recently found out from the children that they are moving an hour and a half away and he has not been told. In fact they are often told to keep things a secret from us and then when they slip up feel very guilty. We have tried to reach out to her for a discussion on a more positive way forward but she does not even acknowledge this. Is there anything more formal that can be done to encourage communication from her end? She recently told the CSA that she had no payments at all in months when he has been sending money every single week and if anything was missed or late he would let her know even though he would get no reply. Any advice would be amazing.

Roland Boakye 12/03/2021 at 2:55 pm

Hi

I have three children from two ex partners, am I able to arrange contact with all my children over the same weekend or would this be against the current COVID rules. I have asked so many people and organisations but can not get a clear answer, can you help?

Dan 10/01/2021 at 12:41 am

My child and his mother recently moved house and I don’t know where my child lives. I have an active court order to see my child every other weekend etc, am I legally allowed to know where he lives?

Lj 26/10/2020 at 3:33 pm

I've have full custody of my 2 children . My son became a bit naughty and I sent him to stay with his dad for a few weeks to get his act together. Then the lock down began.
My ex husband refused to give me my sins home address and the school he is now in. What are my legal rights to gain access to that information in the event of an emergency ? Please help im feeling quite distressed

Fatty 09/10/2020 at 10:45 am

Hello. My ex threw me and my son out when my son was 8months. He later said he want to see his child. Social workers said I can't denied him his son. Sometimes he will be good when he talk to me, sometimes he will talk to me badly and treating me. He has moved from where we both lived and moved to another apartment. Now he want to pick my son for few days and I asked for his address, he refused to give me his address. I mine been to overprotective or what? Any advice please. Thank you.

Barf 10/09/2020 at 9:03 am

My ex is refusing to give me his address, he has told her not to either. He is cruel, unkind and controlling and this was one of the reasons we divorced. I live on an island and her father lived on the mainland, she is nearly 20 and I want to know where to send Christmas cards etc. I am guessing there is nothing I can do! Also if she was hurt on needed me in an emergency as he often goes to his house in France...I don’t know how to get there.

Ali 09/09/2020 at 2:14 am

HI
I had to left my daughter with her nan (father's mum) I needed to travel to sort some stuff out it did take me about 3 /4 months covid-19..
When I got to UK my ex's mum said that my daughter is with her dad ( never actually cared for my daughter has finded drugs in his old flat) that he is on birth certificate and she doesn't know the address where my daughter is. I called police they went to her house and she did gave them address where my ex lives with my daughter and his girlfriend. The police officer then told me that I shouldn't go with him in case they won't open. So I waited for him he come to me saying that my daughter is well clothes fed and looks happy....
So they can't give me my child back and I should contact social services
My ex is drug addict and have criminal records now he's just playing the dad role so they will pay them rent his apparently sorted him self "" "" police didn't gave address where my daughter is so I can't even see her .. I SPOKE to social services over the phone they told me that they don't have the power to give me my child back and that police should of done it and that I should get lawyer and go to court! Can they actually do this? I don't have money for lawyer and going through court can take long time ... Its my daughter I carried her for 9 months and always cared for her!! Any advice please

AnthM 04/07/2020 at 8:00 am

Hi, my ex moved out of the family home last December. Since then I have had our son 4 nights a week, until she started refusing me access June 18th.
By her own admission she has been living with her friend sue & husband for the past month, refusing to tell me where he is living. This has caused me and my family great distress, especially as previous I had to contact CYPS about her lack of care towards our son.
I am considering re-opening the CYPS case as my son is being given into my care in dirty clothing, sore genitals, bruises, sun burned and so on. However I am reluctant to do so in case she accuses me of being malicious.
So what are my legal rights in regard of knowing his living arrangements?

Matt 17/06/2020 at 6:47 pm

My partners ex has his 2 children every other weekend and has done since they split. He has been living with his mum up until recently and now has finally met somebody and moved in with them. We found out after the last visit that the girls, 4 and 6, had stayed at this new house. We have politely asked for an address in case of emergency and all we have received is he is staying in the city and no concern to their mum where they are.

I feel this is not right and that just for emergency reasons my partner should know where the girls are staying. Is this unreasonable? or is he well within his rights to refuse a place of residence?

Liz 09/05/2020 at 1:07 pm

My brothers newly ex partner has moved out of the home that they shared and now has her own place with their two young children, she will not tell my brother where they live,is this legal? Under the present situation ( covid19) they decided at lockdown that it would be sensible for the children to stay with her,however all of a sudden contact has been completely stopped,( she is saying the children dont want to speak to him now) and the older child whose 11yrs has blocked him, he has no way of now contacting them, bear in mind these children were very close to their Dad and hes at a complete loss as to whats going on, is this legal to keep their whereabouts secret! Thanks.

Mel 02/03/2020 at 10:04 am

I am 18 years old and I'm in my first year at uni. My mum has recently said to me that because I'm in my first year of uni she is still responsible for me and still has parental responsibility. Is this true?

Sez 03/12/2019 at 9:52 am

I have recently found out through my children that there daddy has moved in to rented accommodation with his new girlfriend, where my kids stay when they are with there father but he wont give me the address, I dont want to cause trouble I just need to know for peace of mind I can get them in an emergency ect. Do I have a legal right to know where my children are sleeping when with there father?

Bob 03/10/2019 at 6:09 pm

My ex and our 3 year old daughter have just moved from her parents to her new boyfriends house. She had previously agreed to discuss this with me before doing so. However, she has just gone ahead and moved - at the same time saying she wants to be 'amicable'. Am I right in saying that I am not entitled to know where my daughter is now living? Also, there are no residency/contact/child arrangment orders in place. I am considering going for 50/50 shared care as I work from home. What are my chances of getting this? I already have my daughter for over night stays and daycare 2 days a week. Any advice appreciated! Thank you.

Jess 12/09/2019 at 4:23 pm

I’ve been pushing for my sons father to have more contact with him for years with no interest, now he’s asking for more which is great but I’ve asked for his address just so I know for peace of mind where my child is and also for emergencies. But when ever I ask he shuts down. He has a new girlfriend who seems lovely enough, I have no issues there but from being our sons “only” parent for the past few years I just would like to know where the most important person in my life will be. I’ve no intentions of turning up or causing issues which I have told his dad. I know where my son is 24/7 and having that info being with held makes my stomach turn. Is it too much to ask to know? Am I being out of line even asking? Any advice would be great. Thank you.

JMC 01/08/2019 at 3:07 pm

The court order states i shall have access to visit the child and or collect her to stay with me. the child shall be picked up at the defendant`s house at exactly 10 am and drop 6pm. The defendant did not want me to know the address and meet with me in junctions to give me the child.Is this contempt of court order or is it inline with the court order?

MMM 01/08/2019 at 3:05 pm

The court order states i shall have access to visit the child and or collect her to stay with me. the child shall be picked up at the defendant`s house at exactly 10 am and drop 6pm. The defendant did not want me to know the address and meet with me in junctions to give me the child. Is this contempt of court order or is it inline with the court order?

Concerned! 14/05/2019 at 5:47 pm

Is it legal for one parent to leave a child in the uk with a babysitter, while they go on holiday abroad, without informing the other parent?

Dad101 23/04/2019 at 6:40 am

My ex wife pack up and left the house with my two young kids, I have had very limited contact with them since this happened as she is making it very hard to do such a thing, she has moved into a friends house with the kids I have asked for a address to know the location where my kids are staying in the case of an emergency, I have informed her that I will never show up at the house unless invited my her, I have told her that not knowing where my kids are staying is very uncomfortable for me and that this is also effecting my sleep. She will not give me the address to the location where my kids are sleeping. Do I have a legal right to know the location where my kids are sleeping?

Gazza 15/04/2019 at 10:10 pm

I was wondering if my ex partner has to give me her number so I can arrange collection with my kid's she wants me to go through her mum but I don't get on with her mum she keeps telling me theres something wrong with her phone and to go through her mum

Chris 04/04/2019 at 4:43 pm

I have a child with my ex partner and I have our child at weekends. My ex has now banned me from bringing my child to my flat as she absolutely hates my new girlfriend, even though my girlfriend dotes on my child.
Can my ex partner dictate who my child sees during my time with my child?

Pinal 28/02/2019 at 3:43 am

My ex and I recently split, she left claiming domestic violence. We spoke since and agreed she could move back in. She has since left again claiming the same thing, as a result she has taken my son and been given emergency accommodation in a city not far.
She has been advised by someone to not contact me until she has been given permanent residency by the council. As a result she will not answer any requests I make to see my 8 month old son. My dad txt her and she said she would not allow it because she claims I am aggressive. I have not been told by anyone that I cannot see either of them. Is she violating my rights as I have PR?
I have not seen my son for 2 days now.
I'm going to visit citezens advice.
I have a feeling she is doing this to prevent any chance of me bringing my son home, I just want to see him or know how he is doing at least. Is there anything can do?

Anon 02/01/2019 at 6:49 am

Can I stop my x partner's mum from taking my daughter out of the country if the x is not going with her,do both parents have to give written permission for her to do this without my knowledge

X 13/12/2018 at 2:00 am

My x husband has started to stay at his girlfriends address when our children are with him. I usually collect them from his house , but he changes that arrangement when they are staying at her address ,presumably to avoid me knowing where she lives.
There is very little communication between him and me ( and any that there is, is extremely difficult) I do have his mobile phone number- and only text or email him about practical arrangements concerning the children - which he may or may not acknowledge . I have no interest in him or her, in interfering in their lives, but I would like to know where our children are staying overnight - and I always let him know if we are not staying at home overnight , with contact details.
I appreciate that there is no legal right to know the address of where the children are staying overnight - but would it be reasonable to ask for this for emergency contact only.

Scott 27/10/2018 at 12:57 pm

Hi ...my ex partner removed all of her belongings from my house and took my son without me getting to see him and now she is refusing to tell me where she has taken my....I am.deeply concerned about my son as her other son use to kick and hurt our dogs and when he held my little boy he just dropped him quickly into his mother's arms... plus when the mother and her son and our son went out they were in a really hot car and her son decides to put a blanket on my son and didnt tell his mother and by time the mother noticed my son was dripping with sweat...he is 9 years old and knows what he is doing thats why he never told his mother what he had done. ...what can I do about all this as i am deeply worried my son being around her son and not knowing where she has gone is terrifying....would love a response . Thank you

Ilovemydaughter 19/10/2018 at 1:38 pm

I am not wanting to share my address with my ex as in the passed she has shown up aggressively towards us and made false allegations. She has since stopped access again. We have an arrangement order but she disregards this all the time. She needs a to be in control of everything. If I am genuinely late she wants to start a fight and stops access. I basically only see my daughter at birthdays, Christmas a or when my ex wants help in the holidays and she has no childcare. She knows I can't financially keep going to court. What do I do? I feel like we are not helping my daughter by constantly confusing her

LawAndParents Editor 15/06/2018 at 2:52 pm

You can apply to the Courts for a Child Arrangements Order to have a legally enforceable agreement on contact times in place. It's usually reasonable to expect contact only by one form of correspondence such as email, as it provides a record of all exchanges etc. Generally a parent does not have a right to know the address of the other parent, but most parents share this information as matter of courtesy.

Caitlin41 14/06/2018 at 7:14 pm

We seperated when my son was 18 months old, he is now 4.5yrs old. There has been frequent contact between them since, with encouragement and practical help from me (buying him a bed, stair gate, advice) he has been staying overnight 1/2 nights per week. There are no court orders in place.

Where previously there was reasonably open lines of communication, this has broken down on his side since my ex got married. They are expecting a child also. Previously we contacted each other by Facebook messenger, texts and phone calls. Now he states that he will only communicate by email, or will accept phone calls or texts if I have sent an email stating the reason & he will arrange a time. I have never harrassed or stalked him, I've annoyed him by not bending to his manipulating ways.

All overnight stays have been on my ex's terms, and when suits him (he works shifts/weekends). This has been ok up until he started to change the goal posts and refused to uphold his part of the deal. He has a history of threatening to not turn up, thus affecting my work. So I finally held my ground on the last occasion & now he's being hostile.

They plan to move house and are refusing to tell me the address but expect me to let my son stay there.

There are 2 main issues surrounding this case. Firstly, I am a survivor of domestic abuse/violence so mediation isn't a possibility. There was a MARAC in place for me.

Secondly, my son is a vulnerable individual as he has an ASD (Autism) diagnosis. Routine and adequate information sharing are essential, especially since he's non verbal.

LawAndParents Editor 05/06/2018 at 3:04 pm

Hopefully mediation will enable you to come up with suitable contact times (or even shared care etc). Once an agreement is in place, you are at liberty to care your child as you choose while she's with you.
Note an agreement made during mediation can be made legallly enforceable at a later date via the courts if necessary.

Idontknow 04/06/2018 at 8:43 pm

I broke up from my abuse, narcissistic ex over a year ago. She was very controlling and manipulating, and was still opening mail meant for me, and accessing my facebook through my email address as recently as 3 months ago.

She's now engaged, and I'm dating someone who she seems to have massive issues with, not surprising given that she's still been accessing my facebook and seeing private conversations between us.

Earlier this week she allowed my partner to pick our child up from nursery, and care for her on her own until I finished work, then 2 days later gave me nothing but grief because my new partner and child were invited to my sisters birthday meal. She even sent me a horrificly worded letter from her solicitor, saying contact regarding our child was erratic and while her mother had tried to address , problems persist...

I have done nothing but bend over backwards and accommodate my ex, changed days, had our child at short notice due to her mother's mental stability, swap my shifts at work to the point I'm at risk of losing my job to accommodate her and I have all the evidence to prove this, I feel like I'm playing by rules she frequently changes... Her new fiance is fine (in her eyes) to be around our little girl, and I have no issue with it, but the second my partner is around our little girl, my ex kicks up a fuss and tries her hardest to threaten me and control me still. We have mediation soon, I'm just wondering what my rights are as a father? And what I can do to stop her trying to control my relationship using our child

Nervous parent 27/05/2018 at 12:00 pm

I have three children by two different men,my first two don't see there dad for other reasons not concern on this matter.my youngest child father is ment to come round at the weekends to spend time with his child as agreed, most weekends he only comes once a weekend or not at all cause he's not here at time agreed or gives me lame excuses why then want me to change my plans for days so he can see his child he threatening to stop payment for his son or he does. We agree all the time and I've had enough of it all, would like to get on with my life as a parent. What are my right as a parent? Please help

LawAndParents Editor 16/04/2018 at 10:36 am

You should apply to the courts for contact with your son. Just because there is a restraining order preventing contact with the mother, doesn't mean that applies to your child. A third party could be used for handovers etc. The court form you need is C100 - it's worth using a different solicitor as it looks like you were poorly advised during your divorce.

Lee 15/04/2018 at 12:21 am

Hi, my partners ex wife is becoming very threatening over his contact with his children, she refused contact last week unless he agreed to keep them in her area or give her my address. We live about an hour away. The children used to come to my house regularly, early on they used to stay over (she put a stop to this over a year ago) she never wanted an address then but now she does. He only sees them once fortnightly for a day (about 6 - 7 hours) he would bring them to my house where they have an awesome time, and would always eagerly ask if they were coming to my house (I think that this is the crux of the issue). So in sum, there are no over night stays, she doesn't drop them off or pick them up, he drives an hour to collect them, an hour to return them and the same in the evening. They are always home by 6. She has his contact number for emergencies. The reasons given for wanting my address are because she doesn't know what I look like, she wants to vet me, she wants to tell me what I have to do with her children. She was very abusive and manipulative with my ex partner and I have heard this in action over the phone and seen it in texts. I have children of my own and I do not want them to be a party to her behaviour. I do not want her to have my address, I own my home and have worked hard to pay for it by myself, worked full time and raised my children by myself. I have created a happy environment and I don't want that turned upside down with this. In every blog I seem to read, the sympathy is with the mum and interpretations seem to be that she is always the victim. This is not the case here and I am really struggling to find out my rights to protect my children, my home and my life. I love my partner dearly, and he has beautiful children who I always treat as my family when they visit, but his relationship with his ex and their parenting roles are theirs, if there was shared care I.e. they stayed over regularly then I could understand the need for an address, but they dont, my happy home was established long before I met my partner and I feel I have a right to not be involved with his ex and to maintain my privacy for the sake of my children (surely they have rights?). I hear it said that if the the ex lives with a new partner then she doesn't have a say and that the ex wife has a right to her address? That makes no sense to me? I am the new (ish) partner, it's my home, surely I have rights? I really hope you can help me by clarifying the law on this for me please, I would be most grateful. Thank you

LawAndParents Editor 13/04/2018 at 12:28 pm

No - you should make appropriate arrangements for contact/residency/shared residency between you. If you can't agree, you will need to attend mediation to try and create an agreement. If that fails, you can apply to the courts for a child arrangements order.

KAB 11/04/2018 at 11:02 pm

Me and my husband have separated and I have moved out of the family home with our two children and currently living with my parents. I am hoping to get a council house soon (I have been told banded) but my ex is being very awkward about where the house is. He only wants specific areas in the county and doesn’t want his kids being brought up in a dump (his words). He is saying he has the right to take the kids if he doesn’t like the new houses location!!! Is this true?

Darren18 27/03/2018 at 11:39 pm

My partner left me and took our son with her 4 weeks ago. She has been residing with my ex girlfriend. I keep trying to contact my partner so I can have regular visits with my son.but she's always fobbing me off saying she's tired. Or she's going to meet her family. Then if I try and press the issue I'm just ignored. Today I find out after asking to see my son that he in fact had not been in school all day due to illness. Surely I should of been notified so I can have the option if caring for him. It feels like my partner is relying on my ex girlfriend who cares for him most of the day due to my partners work commitments. She never takes him to school and pick him up and I'm never offered the chance or informed of anything. I'm not happy with any of this and not being able to properly talk with my partner am not sure how to proceed.

GJ 27/03/2018 at 11:23 am

My ex wife is taking my son abroad and has until now, been giving me details of where she is taking him with flight numbers and I have been signing permission forms for this. This trip however she will not tell me anything except the country. Where do I stand legally as I want to know when and where my son is going and when he will be back.

LawAndParents Editor 13/02/2018 at 3:19 pm

Your ex is not obliged to give details of the address. It's useful for him to provide a contact number that you can call/message if there is an emergency on your side.

Fay 12/02/2018 at 5:39 pm

I have 2 children with my separated husband who was abusive emotionally and physically. He's getting his own place with the person he had a affair with. But won't let me know the address. Says I don't need to know he will call me if there was any emergency.. If this was the other way round he would kick off big time. Surely I have rights to know where my children are staying when he have them for sleepovers??

LawAndParents Editor 01/11/2017 at 3:21 pm

Are the current arrangements documented in a court order?

jase 31/10/2017 at 12:56 pm

me and my ex split 18 months ago and we have a 5 yr old boy whom i adore..i was at every hospital apointment while see was pregnant,i was there at the birth and ive been a massive part of his life..he adores me..i used to take him to school every morning and also collect him every day,he stays with his mum monday to thursday ( 4 nighs) a week...now all of a sudern she doesnt want me to take him to school or collect him.her new bf does this.can she stop me from taking him to school etc? and also do i have the right to stop her bf from takin him to school as i feel it should be me doing this..niether of us have custardy of our son.

LawAndParents Editor 30/10/2017 at 2:25 pm

Write to her asking her to attend mediation so that you can discuss progress with your son. Speak to the school yourself if your ex is not willing to cooperate especially since you have changed your working pattern to accommodate his education needs. If your next alternative has to be court, you will have evidence that you have tried to communicate to no avail. You have PR so have every right to be involved in major decisions concerning your children - those kind of decisions certainly include changes in education provision etc.

Mr D! 28/10/2017 at 9:27 am

I have two boys, 13 & 9 who live with my ex partner. We never married, but I'm named on the birth certs & have PR. I have had regular contact on a daily basis taking them to school & they stay over night now & again. My 9 year old has just been permanently excluded form school. I have been at the forefront in meetings in the school, changed my shifts at work, home schooled him in the mornings & dropped him back in. I spoke to my ex a few days ago to try to get together for putting a letter into the governors to try to get them to reconsider giving him his place back. She told me that she doesn't want to speak to me about it. I received a text off her last night saying that any further contact to her is unwanted & will be classed as harassment & will be reported.
Can anyone please give me some advise on if contacting my children's mother in relation to their well being/issues relation to schooling is harassment & can I be reported for it?

Vic60 15/10/2017 at 9:18 am

We haven't seen our 17 son for nearly 4 weeks.
He was staying with his girlfriend who is now 18 and her mum. He said it was to sort his head out as I upset him when (after a week of him not being home, not being able to contact him and not attending college) I jokely posted on Facebook about a room to rent...we actually discussed it after so he knew it was a joke. Apparently his girlfriend decided he needed to teach me a lesson. Since then we cant call him (he broke his phone & passes him messages n calls on when and if she chooses) we have no idea if he is ok physically or mentally. He saidto younger brother that he has sold some drugs to earn cash, he has now got a part time job quite far from our home, so not feasable if he did come home.
College have him on a warning for attendance.
And keep asking me to give him message re coursework and classes that he has. We have begged the girlfriend to let him call.

We are now art a loss, and heart broken and unsure of what our rights as parents are and do we need to inform anyone other than inland rev & child benefits.

Can someone advise us.
Thank you advance
Vic60

Moe 13/10/2017 at 10:32 pm

Been a stay at home father for over a year taking care of three children under the age of five. There mother decided she did not want to live in a small town, was unhappy with our relationship, and just took my kids to go live with her brother and will not let me know where! She says I have been verbally and physically abusive when in fact the exact opposite is true . She took my children, cash card, and left me high and dry.

Racer 09/09/2017 at 10:17 pm

My sons father and I seperated over 5 years ago and have had a fairly amicable relationship. He now has a new partner and there have been threats to not bring my son home if I don't agree to certain pick up times as they've moved a significant distance away, over two hours drive. I have no intention to stop acccess as I feel this is just a threat. However I would like some evidence to where he is? He won't give me the address and now I feel fearful about that. Is there anything that I can do?

Mikka 01/09/2017 at 9:54 am

Do I have a right to know where my son is when his with my ex partner?
And if I send her messages stating that I'm concerned about his safety and well being due to her leaving him with someone does she have to reply ?

LawAndParents Editor 04/08/2017 at 12:51 pm

No there are no laws, that say you must provide an address to the other parent, but most do so out of courtesy.

E 01/08/2017 at 10:44 pm

I have placement placement for my sonew with joint custody. Me and my girlfriend just moved in with each other. My question is do I have to tell his mother my new address ? According to child support I only have to report it to them(child support). no where in my case does it say I have to report it to her. Child support says I do not have to tell her

LawAndParents Editor 25/07/2017 at 11:16 am

No, there is no "legal" right to be kept informed. However as a parent, it's natural to want an idea of where your children are etc. You don't have to give a specific address, but you could let her know roughly where the children are and whether they're at your home or staying with you at a relative's home etc. It is unreasonable to prevent you from taking them to your weekday residence in London.

Jay 18/07/2017 at 8:02 am

I stay in London during the week and go home at the weeeknds. My ex says that she wants to know exactly where the kids will be with me every weekend. She has all the address details of both residencies and contact numbers. Am I legally obligated to tell her my movements with the children every time I am with them if I remain in England? She is saying that no matter where I go with the kids she has a legal right to know. I would not take them out of the country without consent, and I have parental responsibility as named on the birth certificates although never married. She has said that I am not allowed to take them to London which I feel is unreasonable.

LawAndParents Editor 28/06/2017 at 10:48 am

Can you ask the teachers to have a word with the father?

LawAndParents Editor 27/06/2017 at 2:42 pm

The courts might recommend contact on certain days rather than via the current ad hoc arrangement. If he doesn't stick to it, they may recommend that contact is stopped only if it's considered that would be in the children's best interests.

Clareclick 26/06/2017 at 3:04 pm

My childrens ages are 3 and 5, when he has them once a week after work the teachers have said on a few occasions that my oldest daughter has fell asleep in assembly i dont think this is fair at all and when i say anything about it to him he just says i cant stop him from seeing the kids

Clareclick 26/06/2017 at 2:51 pm

I meant he finished work on fridays went the pub and id never see him till monday when he txt to apologize.

Clareclick 26/06/2017 at 2:48 pm

Me and my partner split a year ago he was hardly ever here at the weeeknds going to work on fridays not seeing him till sunday i was left with our 2 daughters..
this past year he just sends a text saying i want the kids after work he lives across the road from me with his parents 44 years of age by the way he usually gets back around 5.15 but when he wants the kids he turns up at 6.6.30 says hes had his own things to do if they stay over he brings them back at 7.15 getting them up at 6am to get them ready still the friday night to sunday happens kids dont hear a thing he never has them now because ive said no its not fair on them never gets any time to spend with him just going over to sleep there n back first thing hes said hes taking me to court?? Will the courts allow him to only have the kids after work when they go to bed at 7/7.30 pm n for him to bring them back at 7.15am whenever he decides he wants them?? He wont let me have any set days or times or anything am i within my limits to say no??

Bernie 29/05/2017 at 9:04 am

My gf is having issues with her ex partner. She is the main carer. He gets to see every alternative weekend. They've been to mitigation agreed to things. He hasn't stuck to most where as she has. She wanted to get him into sport so he socialised with children, he the father isn't keen on this. He states as it's his time he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to. Which I understand, but he never considers his son he's always selfish. We're getting concerned that he doesn't even look after him leaves it to his own father. While he lazes about. Lying about where he's taking him to avoid football. She tries phoning and facetiming her son. Whereas when her sons here she will let him ring the father. He also doesnt respond to any messages or calls. She asks him to make sure he protected by suncream and give him medicines etc. He doesn't listen and does nothing. Is there anything she can do to sort this he's refused to go to mitigation again then claims to have spoke go a lawyer however this is a guy who moans about buying his son some clothes along with paying child maintenance. However he does stick to the time limits. It's just stressful for my GF as she wants her son happy and puts him first. The the father just will not do out go his own son.

LawAndParents Editor 14/03/2017 at 11:17 am

It's not "illegal" as such, but you should be able to apply to the courts for contact/child arrangements order, if your ex is stopping you from seeing your children.

Smarie 11/03/2017 at 1:46 pm

My ex has taken my two children now living on the ilse of wight. He rarely lets me see them and when I do it's with him.and only for a few hours. I don't have an address for them as there mother I should no where my children live. Is this illegal??

LawAndParents Editor 10/03/2017 at 11:55 am

No you don't. If you're prepared to give them to a social worker or other trust person (in case of emergencies), that would be considered sufficient.

jay 09/03/2017 at 3:42 pm

I have an 11 month old son and I have him staying at mine at weekend's and various other nights that I'm requested to have him due to my ex partners work work.
Even though I am a male I do not trust my ex partner. Her mood is volatile and abusive, her requests are demanding and I have recieved verbal threats and had property of mine damaged.
she knows the city I live in, the road and has my telephone number and email to contact me but I do not trust her with my house number.
She tells me I must give it to her as her social worker says it looks bad if I kidnap my son which I have no intention of doing. I said I would give my address to the social worker but she said that those details were confidential so I wouldn't be allowed to do so. She still is forcing my hand to give her my address by saying id I don't she will never allow me to see him again.
Do I give it or not?
Thanks... Jay

LawAndParents Editor 27/02/2017 at 11:27 am

There is no law that details anything this specific. Parental Responsibility however, does not end until a child is 18, so you should still be involved in all important decisions relating to your daughter.

Nathan 24/02/2017 at 6:04 pm

I have a 16 year old daughter born in wedlock. Myself and wife ( in process of divorce) have separated. Am I entitled legally to know where my daughter is living?

Dannyg 13/02/2017 at 6:10 pm

Hi, My ex babies mum stops me seeing my son when ever it suits her. Or i wont give her more than CSA says. She has moved my son out of our area and away from mine and her family. Shes also moved him school and house and wont tell me where he lives or gos to school.. lets me see him when it suits her or she is going out. Sick of it. What can i go incant afford court and dont know where i stand. I asked to take him on holiday to which reply i got i dont deserve to take him away? Or hes ginger he doesnt need a holiday.

LawAndParents Editor 06/02/2017 at 11:45 am

If you feel that it is putting your daughters or the childminder at risk then you can refuse to give him the details. You may need to make alternative arrangements for your ex to pick up the children on alternate Fridays if they would ordinarily be at the childminder's or the school (from which he has already been banned).

helenhollyscarlett 03/02/2017 at 4:48 pm

Hello,

I have been threw a lengthy court process already with my ex... I left due to domestic violence and have been given the support by cafcass and womens aid.
Anyway I have a question.....
My two daughters live at home with me and spend every other weekend with their dad who collects them from the school on the friday every other week. I have a court order which states hes cannot remove the children from my care. he has already been into the schools uninvited and got himself banned from my eldests school ground because hes just so volatile... Now my daughters have stared with a childminder and he is requesting all of her information which i dont mind giving him shes a fully ofsted registered childminder with 13 years experience ... my problem is i know he will try to intimidate her and my daughters are so happy there and they tell him this... anyway i suppose my question is..... Do i have to give him the details ? is he entitled to have them or not ? it shows her address and i do not want him just turning up and putting her in an akward position.

Sue 30/12/2016 at 6:12 pm

I need some advice please , my daughter and partner have split after a very volatile relationship due to him taking weed on a regular basis ,they have a beautiful daughter ,my only precious Granddaughter .
They are both happy in new relationships and my Granddaughter lives with Mom and see's her Dad twice a week .
My concern is that I have heard from 3 different concerned friends that he and his girlfriend take 'coke' and although I have no evidence ,they say it's taken when the children are with him ( he has a previous child and his partner has 2 ) I am extremely concerned knowing this that we are putting my Granddaughter in danger , how do I go about protecting her .. and do I have any rights ?

Billyfred 27/11/2016 at 3:34 am

Hi my name is nicola davidson 'me and my parter went to court on the 24 November 'in Holborn 'my socail worker just ran out of court to and took my 5 year old 'son from school 'he was not happy 'my socail worker called my parter she said to us will go have contart with him at the contart center in catford for three times a week 'monday thursday friday the time are from four to six clock 'but my socail worker hads not tell us were he liveing at the min i would like to known '-'and there said will not get him till march next year

Nell 18/11/2016 at 4:26 pm

We are due to move house an we do not want to tell my boyfriends ex our new address. She is demanding that he tell her where we are going or she will not let him see his child. He did go to court because she refused to allow him to see the children out of spite. The reason we don't want her to have our address is because she has used threating behaviour towards my self when I was with my child and a family member broke in with his friends and attacked my partner in our own home. He did not mention this attack in court because he was desperate to see his child. We have our own child an i want an need to keep him safe we don't know what to do an I'm worried that if anything else happens. Can you tell us where we stand with the situation.

Mommabear 15/11/2016 at 11:00 pm

My sons father has a new girlfriend and be won't tell me who it is. I have s problem with this because his past relationships are with drug addicts and o want to be sure that my son is safe and that I know there is no danger. He also drinks alcohol and so who knows what she does. Do I have the right to know who she is as the mother?

Jock 04/11/2016 at 7:19 am

My ex wants me to share my weekends with my son she wants me to drop him of for partys photos ect plus I have had my son everywhere ends for a year she went and got passport behind my back my name is the birth certificate can I cancel the passport because she give false information she likes her own way 21 and has learning difficulties

LawAndParents Editor 28/10/2016 at 12:20 pm

No your brother should not just keep his son. If he cannot make a workable agreement with his son's mother, he should apply to the courts for a child arrangements order.

Shell 27/10/2016 at 4:09 am

Hi problem is my ex sis in law is getting married and refusing my brother contact with his son my nephew is 7 years old my sis in law is asking for propeties and money to be put on my nephews name until this happens she will not allow visitation can anything be done my nephew is getting depressed as he does not want to move his maternal and paternal family lives in the same area where he is moving to he has nobody there besides his mum and her new husband to be also when my nephew stay over weekend he refuses to go back his dad has to beg him to go back to his mum can anything be done can my brother just not send his son back and keep him with him

Lec 15/10/2016 at 7:06 pm

My child father both agreed to split evey other weekend. Which we both agreed upon this weekend he has her. For some reason he has blocked me from his phone and I am being told that I have to contact his wife to speak to our daughter. I've shared my address with him but he will not share his with me. We don't fight nor agure but when ever I asked him to comply with a request of mine he refuses. I want to know why as a mother don't I have the right to know where my daughter is? Why do I have to contact his wife in order to speak with my child? I never interfere with their time but she is my only daughter so I am use to speaking to her so me calling once to hear her voice shouldn't be a problem. I am very emotional I am trying to be considered but I am being met with disrespected. What can I do in order to get the things I feel that are important for me and my daughter I want her to be with her dad she loves him but not if I can not contact her when she with him.

wales 07/10/2016 at 5:04 pm

My partner has left while I was at work and taken my little 20months with. Police are not helping she has refused to take her to see a doctor today because she is unwell what can I do

LawAndParents Editor 30/09/2016 at 2:06 pm

There is no law that forces a parent to give the other parent their address details but it is courteous to do so. Following him to establish the address is not illegal unless you did this on more than one occasion etc.

Smiler39 29/09/2016 at 10:47 pm

My ex husband moved house 3 weeks ago and our girls are due to start sleeping over in October. He refuses to tell me his new address. I have never ever turned up at his old house unannounced so I can see no reason behind this. He has my address and I'm fine with this too. Surely I have a right to know where my girls will be from 6pm Friday to 4pm Sunday every couple of weeks!? If he won't tell me, as crazy as it sounds I can legally follow him or get a friend to can't I?

LawAndParents Editor 27/09/2016 at 11:57 am

You can apply for a court order - it will be up to the courts decide whether to grant it. You would have to prove that it would be in the best interests of the children (i.e not you). They do not need to supply you with their address if they move house but it's courteous to do so if you are to be sharing drop off/collections etc.

Bella 26/09/2016 at 12:29 am

My ex husbands partner who he was having an affair with while we were still together, has sent me abusive and slanderous messages and I've expressed my wishes that she not be involved in my children's lives. He has now ignored this request. Can I take out a court order to stop her from being involved in their lives? Also they have moved without telling me, is this allowed?

LawAndParents Editor 09/09/2016 at 10:44 am

No you would have to apply to the courts to do this - it doesn't happen automatically.

Raelynne gama 08/09/2016 at 1:41 am

Hello I was wondering, Is there any Rights to Godparents, Like if something happens to the Mother, And none of her family could get the baby Would I be able to get her..

LawAndParents Editor 19/08/2016 at 11:39 am

You don't have any "rights" as such unless you think your son is at risk. The best thing to do would be to try and discuss it with your ex partner. Take things very slowly and if you can get other friends/relatives involved to try and find out discreet information then do that too.

Jeffuk1 18/08/2016 at 11:50 pm

I'm divorced. 3 children. Currently paying maintenance for 3. However, my x has taken my children and left them in another city with grandparents. She continues to live alone in old house in this city.
First of all , is this allowed ?
Do I still pay maintenance for children that no longer live in my old family house and not with mother ?
Why should I pay ..if she is not taking care of them ?

Jackie 18/08/2016 at 3:28 am

Hello, my ex partner has remarried and I'm happy for him they are expecting a new child we have a son together that he sees for 6 hours every Sunday his choice my question is do i have a right to know who she is it build some contact with his wife she has had two children from her first marriage who she does not see my ex won't tell me full reasons I want to ask her not in a confrontational manner just to build repore as she is involved with our son or do i carry on knowing he's going there and I have no idea who she is I want to protect our son but also don't want to come across as interferring my ex partner is Turkish I am English his new wife is Kurdish she does not speak an awful lot of English please help

LawAndParents Editor 12/08/2016 at 1:57 pm

Yes he is the father of your child and you have a joint mortgage so he should continue to ensure his child has somewhere acceptable to live etc.

Sav 11/08/2016 at 8:30 am

Hi thanks for your response. However we are not married, could I still make him pay for the mortgage?
Thanks

LawAndParents Editor 10/08/2016 at 2:17 pm

You need to come sort of agreement over both financial arrangements and contact. If you can agree between you that's good, but you may need to use a mediation service to help. If that is unsuccessful, the courts can order that your husband continues to pay the mortgage or provides for your and your daughter etc.

Sav 09/08/2016 at 11:45 am

Hi, my partner of 10 years not married has left me for another woman. We have the mortgage together I only work part time. Can I ask him to pay the mortgage so our daughter has a home to live in?
Thanks

LawAndParents Editor 08/08/2016 at 10:19 am

Not really. If you feel there is a chance your son might be at risk or that the mother may take the child away/abroad without your knowledge, then you can apply to the courts for a specific issue order, ordering the mother to keep you informed of the son's whereabouts etc.

Lmp 07/08/2016 at 2:35 am

Do I have the right to know where my son is when he is with his mother? We are not married but in a complicated relationship. She doesn't ever tell me where she has my son is at and ignores the question when i ask. What can I do and what are my rights to know?

tubuna 18/07/2016 at 6:14 pm

Hi...my ex have moved with my kids somewhere I don't know.i am concerned about my kids welfare.can I get any help anywhere to find locate where they live so that I can see them and be there if any emergency occur....

Kel3777 13/06/2016 at 5:55 pm

Please help i want to keep my 21 year old aggressive threatening daughter away from my 2 younger boys one who is disabled she's so unbalanced its unreal i dont want this around my boys! This has been on going for 3 years i cant do this anymore i need help shes already threatened my 19 year old and called him all the names under the sun

stoddy 05/05/2016 at 8:27 pm

Hi ,
My ex wife lives in Belgium with my 9 yr old daughter !
I pay 100€ a month maintenence and half medical & school fees !
I also have to pay all travel so 6 journeys to and from to collect her for 6 weeks a year access , can I make her pay and do half the traveling as I can't afford it all and it uses alot of my leave

LawAndParents Editor 24/03/2016 at 2:15 pm

Of course you do, you do not deserve to be feeling like this, your partner is responsible. Please contact the organisation we mention below. They are used to dealing with people in your situation and will make sure everything is treated confidentially and with discretion. The police are taking abuse very seriously at the moment, so even if your partner "knows" someone in the police, it will not affect your case.

LawAndParents Editor 24/03/2016 at 2:08 pm

You need to get yourself and daughters to a safe place. Refuge.org will be able to help you and advise you. Please get in touch with them now and take care.

sophie1981 23/03/2016 at 12:51 am

Also, if i now report my partner, could my children be taken away, as I have no other (safe) home to take them to?!

Sorry to bring this to you all. I feel that, even if i go to the C.A.B., he will know i'm there. He claims to know the man at the top of west sussex police, too, so I don't know who could help me in my situation. He is good friends with the chief housing officer at hyde, aswell.

Do i have a leg to stand on?

sophie1981 23/03/2016 at 12:20 am

Any advice, anyone? I'm feeling completely LOST here. I live with my partner in a hyde housing property. My partner has diagnosed mental health issues which he will NOT take his prescribed pills for. He has become aggressive, threatened to kill me in my sleep, thrown things at my face with force.and this is in the presence of a 6 year old and a 17 month old. He is very agressive and manipulative towards me, but lovely to our 2 girls. He says if I do anything about it, he will take the girls, 'unleash hell', and I wouldn't see them again. He also says he has had my name taken off the tenancy, and is going to have me evicted!Words of advise anyone? Obviously I can't put up with this, now that he's become agressive.I have 2 lovely girls to consider, and don't want to end up homeless either.

LawAndParents Editor 15/02/2016 at 11:08 am

You do not have to give your address but if there is a good reason for the mother wanting it, it would be fair to provide it. If you really don't want her to have it, simply refuse. If she takes it to court, the courts will decide on whether or not it can be released.

Cherry 12/02/2016 at 10:21 am

Me and my partner have his children every other week from Friday to sunday his ex wife after 12 months is now demanding she has our address she has contact numbers for us but has never used them. I am not really wanting her to know where I live as I don't want trouble bringing to my home where my daughter is. Where do we stand legally? do she have to know my address.

I understand she is a mum but she never bothered before about where her kids are or where we live.

LawAndParents Editor 11/01/2016 at 12:14 pm

You can apply for a court order to be kept informed about events in the children's lives and to request contact.

Dlog 10/01/2016 at 7:16 am

Why is this say parental responsibility and you've got people saying their kids are misbehaving? I don't know!
I have split up with my ex partner over a year and a half ago ,the level of contact with my kid's is based on her mood .When we first split she stopped me seeing the kids for a month an a half then finally I was slowly a allowed to spend more and more time with them .to the point she was in a better mood and I was seeing them daily.I had informed her that I would be studying and traveling in the next year so we'd need to sort something out about contact and money for the kids...she agreed but has since completely cut me out of my kids life,she's moved the school ,the house ,the furnishings and most importantly I have no clue how they are ,where they are or how I'll be contacted in a emergency .its been 4 months since I even spoke to her now.I am heart broken and don't know where to start ..how to find them ..all I know is I have parental responsibility. Also she has spread vicious rumours about me to justify her own actions and god knows what she told my boys

Fatboy 07/11/2015 at 10:35 am

Do I have a right to know the address of my children with pr?

Legs 31/07/2015 at 11:52 am

Me and my partner split 18 months I have recently moved house and I haven't told him our new address I have told him the area but that's it as he is very aggressive and always sending threatening messages, he collects our children from school and nursery when they visit him as I try and make contact with him very little! Do I have to by law give him my new address - the children live with me full time

LawAndParents Editor 28/07/2015 at 10:33 am

@tk1. The other parent does not automatically have to consult/inform you about day to day decisions. As you're the parent with majority care and the children spend more time with you it's probably fair to say that if it went to court a judge might rule in your favour. The grounds for this being that it is perfectly reasonable to want to know at least where in the country/world your children are and for them to be able to contact you if they need you.

tk1 26/07/2015 at 8:22 am

I have been divorced 3 years.my ex husband has had several girlfriends. The current one he moved in with after months. My 2 children (7 &9) stay with him every other Friday eve and Saturday. At first he wouldn't tell me where they were living or let meet his gf until I said that in that case the children would not be staying over at theirs he could only have them for the day time as I had no idea where they would be. Eventually he gave in and I went round and met her and saw the house. A year on the have the kids this weekend coming for 8 days for the first time and he is taking them away but won't tell me where. I've asked several times and he just gets verbally aggressive. What are my rights here? I want to know where my children will be and think that is only fair.

mike 29/06/2015 at 8:47 pm

My ex-wife moved with my two Daughters over a year ago and has stopped all contact.
She did'nt even tell me that she was moving.
I have since been told that she moved to Blackpool but I don't know were abouts in Blackpool.
We have a contact order in place which she has clearly ignored, but I can not afford to go back to court again and get charged £375 court costs and fees so that she can walk away with a £75 fine

LawAndParents Editor 08/06/2015 at 11:15 am

@Warpa. This is something about which your partner would need to seek professional legal advice unfortunately.

Warpa 03/06/2015 at 7:56 pm

My partners sons x has a non molestation order against him which also includes his year old son. The son cares for an old man in the block where his x lives. She sits outside with her new boyfriend and female friends playing happy families.
Today his son walked up to him with his arms out, he picked him up before they all snatched him back saying you're not allowed to touch him!
This to me seems to be mental cruelty, is there nothing he can do? He has no interest in his x, he just wants to see his son, surely he has some rights.

DB 31/05/2015 at 4:13 am

My son has just turned 16 and has gone off the rails, he has been arrested for shoplifting and hadn't been coming back to the family home staying out all night and was picked up for carrying drugs last week he seems to think he shouldn't have to abide by any rules, I have spoken to a social worker and they said all I can do is to contact the police when he doesn't come back whic has turned into every night the last week, I have two younger children and since he is aggressive and out of control I would like him housed somewhere that can deal with him as I'm struggling to cope what can I do?

Rick 27/05/2015 at 9:00 am

I have been separated from my wife since Easter weekend this year. Things have not been great in terms of communication (we end up arguing over text message etc). Anyway, I need to know where I stand as a father in terms of knowing the whereabouts of my children. I am due to have my children this Friday but no time confirmed as to when I will have one of them as she has stated that he is at a function. I have asked where he will be just in case of an emergency and she has stated that its none of my business. Is that right? Can she keep the location of my child from me?

LawAndParents Editor 15/04/2015 at 12:31 pm

@Jack1969. This is underhand behaviour, you do not have to pay any money to them unless you have made a specific agreement to alter the living arrangements.

Jack1969 14/04/2015 at 8:33 am

Hi my son left my flat nearly two weeks ago with out me knowing and he is 18 next week he went to stay with his dad but the thing is he's not talking to me for some strange reason and his new partner is like blackmailing me to pay money for him this week and then she will get him to talk to me what can I do also they won't tell me were they live I'm heart broken as I was a single mom alone

LawAndParents Editor 17/11/2014 at 12:51 pm

@Sabbba. If you have all this information available for the courts, they will make a decision based on what they feel is in the best interests of the children. If your ex manages to obtain extra visitation or residency rights, you could request that a condition of this is not to take the children to the friend's home.

Sabbba 15/11/2014 at 6:56 pm

My husband left me with my 3 children. I had to use csa to get maintenance for the children. Apart of our separation is due to him constantly taking my children to his drug dealers friend house. He uses drugs and is still in touch with the dealers as well has them visiting his house. I refuse for him to take mu children to his place for their on safety but has never stopped him seeing them when ever or what ever time he comes to the house . The only time he comes to visit is when csa takes money for the kids then he comes to abuse me in front of our children or leave threathning messages on my phone. Also he turns up for birthdays consirdering he lives about 15 minutes away from our house. Now he wants to take me to court for access which he has never been denied only that i am safe guarding my children well beigh. The house he takes my children to has been raided by police and plenty class a drugs have been found there. Where do i stand has a mother whose only intest is the safe guarding of my children.

Bex 13/08/2014 at 7:38 pm

I have a 12 year old daughter and 9 year old son from my previous marriage. Contact has broken down between my daughter and her dad, and he has applied for a court order for access. This has been granted, even though the carcass report said it would not be in her best interests and she has written 2 letters to the judge stating that she does not want to see her dad. She is supposed to be seeing him this Saturday and is refusing to go and the order states that if I do not make her I could face prison. I have had no influence over her decision and her brother does still see their dad, but I am unable to make her go. Where do I stand with the court ?. Thank you

sha 26/07/2014 at 11:08 am

My husband and I are concerned about where his daughter is living. Mother will tell him. They was suppose to be moving to California, but she was evicted from her home cause her husband shot his self. The mother also has a drug habit and told the child that father is trying to take her away from her after she has told him that he could have her before. There is a lot of other issues . But we are concerned with her living arrangements. We

Bri 28/05/2014 at 11:13 pm

Because 2 of my daughters children where abducted by their father and he refused to return them to her after his contact,November 2013. She went back to Court and lost out because the court insisted on him having more contact i.e. 50/50, one week with my daughter and one week with their father. But within in six months he has done the same and won't return the children or allow my daughter access. It seems that the courts are treating the children has a commodity just like the belongings in a divorce. My question is at what age can the children legally or has deemed as able to make the decision as to which parent they want to see or not by the family court? Because, I have been advised that a court order is irrelevant, if they deem the child is old enough to make that decision. But, the Court's current decision was not based on any of the childrens' view or wishes, their view was not even mentioned.
Therefore, if eleven and twelve is to young, to make a decision, it might be worth trying to get the court to help in-force the current Court Order?

loz 27/02/2014 at 8:59 pm

I left my ex husband after he stopped taking his medication for his mental illness, and threatened my life and physically attacked me. The police and social services helped me leave him.
We are going through court at moment for access to our son who has learning difficulties. I have a residence order. Access has been very difficult as he keeps being abusive towards me and members of my family. The judge found out last session that he had lied about medication and he still refuses to take it. We go back to court next week can I use the ground s to now refuse access or at least not allow night access ever.I am representing myself and don't know how far I can go, can judge stop ex from being abusive towards me and make him reinstate maintenance he stopped after I refused to give monthly receipts.

Elroy 21/01/2014 at 1:34 am

My ex has tempary custody of my daughter and there's a 6 month protection plan against me and my ex has a restraining order against me and there moving do I still have the right to know where my daughter lives

Elroy 21/01/2014 at 1:23 am

Ok my ex a restraining order and has tempary custody of my daughter and she's in a 6month
Protection plan and I get supervised visits and thay are moving do I still have the right to know where my daughter lives?

kev1123 21/12/2011 at 7:52 pm

my ex partner is married to some one else he constantly mentally abuses her he has hit her and chucked a paint can through a window to get to her on seperate occasions i am concerned for my childrens safety and hers do i have any rights to phone police and ask for him to be prosecuted in the interest of my children

stupid 15/10/2011 at 7:08 pm

My ex and I have been seperated for 2 years and have a 3 year old son which we both have parental responsibility over. I have recently moved address with my new partner, my new partner has currently got a non-molestation order against her ex due to domestic abuse ( There is the police, council, social services, SOADA amd a few other organisations involved with the move ). This is causing a problem with my ex as she is demanding our new address and that part of her family remain in contact with my partners ex. Does she still have the right to know the address concidering the situation ?

Dan 15/10/2011 at 4:58 pm

My so is 10 months old and after an argument my ex partner wont let me see OUR son she's changed her phone number and moved house so i have no clue where or how to contact her is there any way i can find these things out so i can see my son or is it just wait and hope the solicitor finds it out ?

Lee 26/08/2011 at 8:43 pm

My ex partner is taking my son on holiday, I'm not sure if it's abroad or within UK. I've asked her where she's taking my son and who will be going to the holiday with my son but she won't tell me. Do I have the right to know where my son is going, either abroad or within UK and who will be spending time with my son during this holiday?

vickster 02/06/2011 at 4:43 pm

I have a four year old son who has lived with his father since he was 9 months old.Since my ex-partner has had custody of our son he has moved a few times. Just before Christmas he left the county & moved to newcastle to be with his new girlfriend. I now only get to see my son every couple of months. That was the outcome of the final hearing at the beginning of the year. I don't know where they live or have any contact details for them. I don't trust my ex one bit, he is a very devious man. Do I have a right to know where my son lives & is there an order I can apply for to stop him from going out of the country for more 1 month & do I have a right to get details on any holiday that they take out of the uk?

Shirley 01/06/2011 at 9:57 am

I separated 4 months ago, i've 3 kids, 2 from this relationship, we aren't married he is on b/cert. He appears without notice, every day, he refuses to put in place set days & times to see kids, also he takes them to his mother's house despite my saying they are not to go there. She tells my kids that I am wrong. Also when my 2 yr old was left on the stairs & fell down them, he had to be taken to hospital. I do not want my kids there and he takes them even though I express they are not to go. Can you help?

louisexx19 11/04/2011 at 10:02 am

I am in a similar position except my boyfriend has two children from a previous relationship. The mother was fine with me watching them on my own so she could go out, now she has a new partner she has said I am dangerous and his children are not allowed to stay at my home. This is a shame as I have had a baby with my boyfriend so is also an issue about siblings. She has now moved wont answer her phone and we have no way of getting in contact. Do we have any rights? He is on both birth cerificates.

BillS 30/03/2011 at 4:02 pm

As the partner of someone in exactly the same position with her ex-husband it would be helpful to have a direct answer to a well put question ( even if if the answer is there is no decided case law on the point!). It seems to me both absurd and unreasonable that my partner's two children, aged 7 and 5 effectively disappear for two days every two weeks, we have no address and no telephone contact number. It should be quite simple, no address equals no contact, what is this business of not interfering with his time and trusted adviser, the world has gone bloody mad!

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