Smacking Your Children

Originally written by Lorna Elliott, updated by the editorial team on 14th June 2026

Smacking Your Children: The Law in the UK

The law on physical discipline varies across the UK, and rules have changed significantly in recent years. Scotland banned smacking in 2020, Wales followed in 2022, and England and Northern Ireland still permit it in limited circumstances. What counts as lawful discipline in one part of the country may be a criminal offence in another.

What Counts as Reasonable Punishment

In England and Northern Ireland, the defence of reasonable punishment still exists, though there are ongoing campaigns to abolish it. This means a parent can legally smack their child as long as it does not go beyond what the courts consider reasonable.

There is no precise legal definition of reasonable punishment, but certain factors are taken into account. These include the child's age, the nature of the smack, and the circumstances surrounding it.

Across all parts of the UK, any physical punishment that causes visible marks, bruising, or injury is likely to be considered unreasonable and unlawful. A smack will also generally be considered unreasonable if it involves an object such as a belt, slipper or cane, or is delivered with significant force.

Physical punishment that crosses these boundaries may result in charges of common assault, actual bodily harm, or in serious cases, child cruelty.

Another adult, such as a grandparent or babysitter, can use reasonable punishment only if a parent consents and the same legal constraints apply as if the parent administered the punishment themselves. This is not widely encouraged or practiced. Teachers and other school staff cannot smack children under any circumstances.

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The Position in Scotland and Wales

Scotland removed the defence of reasonable punishment in 2020, and Wales followed in 2022. In both countries, any form of physical punishment against a child is now unlawful and can result in prosecution for assault.

Both nations have also invested in promoting non-violent forms of child discipline and support for parental education programmes. The aim of these changes was to give children the same legal protection from assault as adults while helping parents find alternative approaches.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Teachers and Physical Restraint

While teachers cannot smack or hit pupils, school staff in England do have the power to use reasonable force in specific situations related to safety. This is distinct from physical punishment. It includes restraining a pupil who is hurting someone else, damaging property, or behaving in a way that disrupts order and safety.

Teachers also have powers to search pupils for items banned by the school, such as weapons, alcohol or drugs. These powers are set out in Department for Education guidance, which schools must follow. Any force used must be proportionate to the situation.

Where to Get More Information

The law on physical punishment differs depending on where you live in the UK. For official guidance, check GOV.UK or contact your local council's children's services team. These services can also provide information on positive parenting approaches and non-physical discipline methods.

If you have concerns about a child's welfare, you can contact the NSPCC helpline or speak to your local authority. Organisations such as Family Lives offer free advice and support for parents looking for guidance on discipline and child development.

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118 questions

Ask Law and Parents a Question

LawAndParents Editor 22/05/2026 at 9:18 am

@Omg23 Honestly, try not to panic. A MARF doesn't mean they're coming to take your kids, it just flags that a family might benefit from support, which is basically what you went looking for anyway. The police already saw the children and were satisfied, so that'll carry weight. Be open when they get in touch, explain the steps you've already taken, and it'll likely be closed quickly with maybe some early help offered.

Omg23 25/08/2023 at 8:54 am

Hi all

I’ve been looking at lots of information as I had an experience where I was on the beach with my 3 kids, we where heading back to the car as water was coming in and my son kept running off from me, I asked him to wash the sand of which he did but he kept runnign of and then by the car rolled in the sand. I wasn’t feeling very well and I couldn’t handle my feeling and ended up giving him one light snack on his leg. This was reported to the police, they came out and saw the kids and were happy. They left it at that.

I decided to do something’s to help me keep my cool and work better at controlling my emotions.

I approached local talking services, I told them what happened.

At the end they said they had to do a referral, after speaking to their safeguarding lead they were advised to do a MARF form.

I’m now petrified about this and so is my wife.

Smacking is wrong and does not improve behaviour. I am the adult and responsible for controlling my actions.

I feel like I’ve reached out for help and now I’m more anxious than I was before.

Need answers 19/11/2022 at 5:59 pm

I know there is emotional abuse happening in my house bw my husband and my daughters (14 & 16). Last night my 16 year old was waiting to call into a radio station for tickets, my husband became very angry at her during this time. I will not make excuses, she can give lots of attitude and he turned her over and smacked her bum. Worse yet is he smacked a part that already hurts from a separate issue. How do I handle this? He needs help and won’t get it. I also bc of my job understand the laws in my state with children. How should I go about getting him help for his anger and depression if he refuses? TIA

mo 26/09/2021 at 12:26 pm

I wish to share my story of Sandwell Social Services allowing and condoning abuse because it keeps them in a job. My son has been burnt 3x times in his mothers care. had various injuries due to lack of supervision, gave a statement to police 08/08/21 saying his mother hits him /abuses regularly, pulls /pinches his ears, smacks his head as punishement, has hit him with a stick one time, his aunty has smacked his head once for something he did not do. But mother not arrested as child not injured! So does this mean if a person is attached on street or abused as long as there are no injuries...it didnt happen? I have made several referrals myself and through NSPCC. NSPCC say its abuse and child cruelty. Despite several referals, they acknowlege its "unacceptable" yet they allow it to continue. Injury referral May 16 fobbed off, said it was "malicious" on paperwork even though the injuries were there. He was burnt severely in 06/2016 3 weeks later, on his left palm aged 2. I reported it and they police/social workers accepted mothers version that he "grabbed a hot iron". They believed his mother that i was merely reporting it to be malicious and cause trouble/gain custody even though the burn was very clear and real. Police said it was not a criminal case,. Birmingham social services said it would be referred to Sandwell Childrens as my son was in that area but sandwell didnt do their own investigations and fobbed it off. A NSPCC referral Jan 17 due to me noticing regular injuries from lack of supervision. Case closed without talking to mother/home visit. They spoke to nursery who said they had not seen any injuries (as they were under clothes) this same nursery did not see a burn on his hand a few months later in plain sight!!. Case closed again. He got burnt again 09/17, nursery did not even see it on his hand. This time another referral by doctor in A&E, child said he had been smacked after getting burnt (mother said she was in toilet and he plugged iron in switched it on and tried to use it by climbing on trike) they believed her far fetched story!. He was put on child protection plan but under category of risk of emotional harm due to a non existant animosity between separated parents (all communication done in writing, no evidence of this whatsoever, i asked them if i should not report injuries, they said you should) Mother taught not to leave hot iron on near child. case closed after 9 months due to no further incidents whilst under their watch. But another burn in March 19 (No3). (almost healed due to gap in contact so i could not report it as i was deterred from doing so by conduct of social workers). Formal complaint Feb 18. Apology received for social worker not following procedure. full complaint not investigated and covered up by saying "social worker not available to interview". 2018-2020 Child showed emotional trauma anxiety and fear, getting upset over slightest things such as spilling a drink or dropping something. Would not say why

JN 15/05/2021 at 8:41 pm

I stumbled across this website while searching relative questions. Recently my two boys were fighting, normally they usually diffuse the issue on their own however this time it seemed to have progressed, I decided I'd heard enough and went out to go see what was going on and stop it. Once I get into visual I noticed my youngest has my oldest on the ground in a fetal position while he's kicking him vigorously. I was sincerely so shocked that my first reaction was to slap him. After all was said and done, I quickly gained remorse for what I had done normally this is not my typical behavior. Yet the mere fact that I saw what I saw forced a trigger.
Normally a typical tap on the back of the head is usually all it takes sometimes. However this time was different. This time it made contact with his face. I left a small red finger mark. After firmly escorting him to his bedroom, I went back down to my bedroom and started compiling all of my thoughts. I cried because I couldn't believe I even got to that point. And though the marks were not bad I personally still felt bad and know that he doesn't deserve that kind of treatment.

I've literally beaten myself up for this mistake.
After hearing and reading some of these posts and statements, what I did holds no wait compared to what I'm reading.

As a parent there is no validation for that kind of action. And I am ashamed of what I've done.

If any of you parents out there have embarked on the mistake that I have made, please strongly consider reevaluating your actions.

Our world at this time is extremely complicated and filled with Mass uncertainties. I'm pretty sure that the last thing us parents want to do is to amplify these confusions and uncertainties.

* To the other parents who've gone even further than I have. STOP IT NOW!!!!
Save yourself from jail. Save your kids from harm. Save your own sanity if you have one.

We've implemented new rules and procedures for such actions, and I suggest any parent who may not know how to address hostile situations to seek guidance. Some of those professionals really do have tricks that work far better than the chosen mistake.

Miss Rodriguez 07/01/2021 at 2:05 pm

Hi there,
I have recently found out that I am pregnant around 12 weeks, and i have already have a 13 months old year old. I have seriously considered having an abortion which led to me speaking to a counsellor provided by the clinic to help me to make a decision about it. I missed multiple appointments due to my uncertainty.But the more i shared the counsellor more relieved I was and I just enjoyed having somebody to talk and just share my inner fears. However , during the transition time I was and Still am feeling overwhelmed, and that it’s the reason why I have spoken to the counsellor. So basically I told her every about my life. I told her about my relationship inner issues , how I think I might not be able to manage with so children and even though my partner is all over the moon with it. So I basically told her that I feel that I smaked my baby of 1 old in a fla couple of occasions ! But always on the bottom, hands and I don’t hurt my baby ! I told her that I felt very guilty and I feel that in order to cope with the stress of uni assignments and home and children duties (because my partner also has a 5 year boy that sometimes I look after when he’s working) I have been smoking pot. But I also told her that I mainly did it at the time when my baby is at school and when my partner takes her to bed! I told her that my daughter has all of her needs met , but it’s just me that I am a wreck atm. Still I felt that she was redirecting me to have an abortion even though I told her I was against it and I would prefer having a baby rather than going through of getting rid of baby, plus my partner really wanted me to have the baby too. But when I had my phone appointment with the doctors she was making questions such as, you must be feeling very overwhelmed and etc! And then she turns : did you smack your baby ? And I was extremely chocked to her saying that ! And she carried on saying that she received a report of the counsellor stating a few things including that I smoked pot. And I told her that I didn’t want to speak to her about that , because I didn’t speak to her initially and that was a personal matter shared which has laws that protect the confidentially matter ! I asked the counsellor if there was any issues on what I had shared which she said that there wasn’t and she also made sure that prior to ever call she told me that if there was any info that needed to be shared , that I would be made aware of! I literally feel betrayed, I would have mind if she told me that she needed to share it ! But I’m extremely annoyed to the fact that I literally speak to a doctor who already knows everything that bothers me without me even talking to her. It’s not illegal to smack your baby , but that is not me ! I don’t like smaking children that is why I was bothered by it ! And I don’t hit her and never ever hurt her , and I wouldn’t allow nobody to do it! I was crying and overwhelmed because I need help to cope And not some stupid counsellor to think s

BIGdaddy 14/11/2020 at 1:51 pm

Hi everyone, So me and my ex have separated I have a 9 year old daughter with her, She has now married, But when I collect my daughter she never seems happy, I ask what's the matter, She said her step dad has been hard slapping her arm/wrist and Bum, When she doesn't do as asked straight away, IE : Wash the pots, Brush your teeth, Clean your room, Is this acceptable behaviour?? I have 2 other children my punishment is to send them to there room, Of take there phone of them etc...I collect her from a contact centre I have mentioned it to a member of staff but was told we would discuss it once I do the hand over, A part of me wishes to just keep her at mine.. But I know I will probably get in trouble doing that, What should I do?? Thanks.

Sophie 10/11/2020 at 6:37 am

Is it illegal for a parent to slap a 10 year old kid for not smiling

Jellyfish 06/11/2020 at 9:53 am

Devildog report your wife she's not safe to be around children,keep your family away from her. The best thing you can do is leave and keep her family,your family safe from her. I was in a abusive relationship for 10 yrs my biggest regret but the good thing is my kids

Jellyfish 06/11/2020 at 9:45 am

Hi this for the children here. I'm a mum of six children in 2018 I ended a abusive relationship I found out the ex was abusing my children I called the police and child services and contacted my family. My advice tell the other parent or tell an adult you trust you need to be protected is not ok to be abused in any shape or form please get help and stay safe out there.

Be aware 16/08/2020 at 7:33 pm

If you are a child and you are going to be speaking with a child care worker make sure that you have someone that you trust with you or that the interview is recorded so there is chance that anyone can put words in your mouth and the truth should never be distorted! To make a case and it dose happen so please always say the truth not what you think someone wants to hear !

Monica 26/06/2020 at 10:40 pm

Dear chocolate mouth,
I read your message and it made me so upset.
All I know is that you are a lovely person and deserve to be treated with love and respect.
Children need a safe environment provided by their parents. Go to the police and report your dad. Speak the truth. Speak your truth. Do it for you and for your siblings.
Always know your beautiful worth even when others try to bring you down. You know deep down it s not true. At times when we live in such a setting you may come to have low self esteem but please know that you deserve love and respect.
Go to the police please. I will pray for you.

Anita 12/06/2020 at 3:47 pm

Chocolate mouth- please please go to the police/ social services- your dad’s behaviour is totally unacceptable, wrong and illegal. I’m heartbroken to hear what your dad is doing. Keep a diary of what he is doing and also the triggers- all of that helps as evidence.

Don’t be afraid of speaking up- we keep doing it and people keep getting away with it.

Summer 09/06/2020 at 5:52 pm

I am a 14yr old girl that lives in the UK, I've come here because recently in lockdown my dad had been getting rly angry at me for no reason, me and my sister have to do the washing up everyday, it was my turn, he called me down to do it n I went down a hour later, I was walking around my sitting room just looking out the window when he screams at me to go do it, I said I'm doing it now I was just looking out the window, he grabs me and drags me into the kitchen n hits me really hard in the face and pushes me into the fridge and pulls my hair out n punches me, I didn't understand why he was so angry so I said why are you so angry I was coming down to do it, then he hits me again in the face and takes me to the sink and pushes my head under the water, my mum was at work n idk if I should tell her, is this ok to do ?

Chocolate mouth 22/05/2020 at 8:44 pm

I’m almost 13 and my dad slams me to the floor and starts slapping me vigorously. He won’t stop until I say sorry but it’s for simple little things. I think that he favours my older sister more then me because he never does it to her and always says that she does more than me which isn’t true. I’m only young and i cry every night feeling depressed with no emotion. My whole family favours my sister more as well apart from my auntie which I can rely on but we rarely talk over the phone. Today my dad shouted for no reason at me while I was eating my food and he said “you are the most laziest b**tch I know” this made me feel unstable as my own dad would say that about me.

Please can someone help me out and reply to this comment so I know what to do in future

Runner 20/04/2020 at 12:38 pm

My dad came back to our place again after he left his country to go back here. I didn't want him to go back because me, my brother, and my mom are scared of him because he has a bipolar and temperate attitudes that pop out of nowhere. Our dad gets mad at the three of us on little things like where are we going at night or why are you talking when I'm talking or why didn't you clean the house, when we do those silly little mistakes he gets mad at us and starts yelling, slapping his own daughter, scratching the head of my brother, and kicking us out of our own house. I'm tired of this situation and daily lifestyle every single day. I always pray to God for him to change but he never does because he smokes cigarettes everyday 24/7 and gets mad right after he smokes. He mostly focuses on me his own daughter, main target to get mad at, makes me cry, slap me, scratches my face, drags and pulls my hair in the floor to the living room, spills the water in front of my face, makes me stay outside the house for 1 hour sometimes almost 3 hours during night. I am tired of him doing this to me, he clearly has mind problems because of his 30 years of smoking and he's only 43 years old. He doesn't want me to and smile, laugh, and live life to the fullest. Maybe he needs to go to rehab for his attitude to me, i clearly dont want trouble but he makes it think i want to do trouble. I'm confused and scared of him everyday of my teenage life. I'm a growing teenager that needs to stay safe at home.

Mark 07/03/2020 at 4:39 pm

My sister has an 11 year old daughter who has massive temper tantrums and hit her mum if she does not get her own way. The police have been called to report a common assault against her daughter and they don’t do anything and now the daughter thinks she is untouchable. Social workers are not involved and they have made matters worse by suggesting that they have mother and daughter bonding.

Me sister does not hit her and I was wondering if when my sister gets hit by her daughter can she defend herself by hitting back.

Anonymous 18/11/2019 at 8:20 am

Hey so my parents occasionally slap me as a result of bad behaviour, rarely my mum bet my dad does it the
most and i am a young teen female and I am not quite sure if it counts as abuse. It can leave a red mark and sometimes kinda what looks like irritated skin and 'goose bumps'. I read somewhere that where I live its illegal to
hit your child above the neck but he flicks behind my ears and head. I am not sure anymore and I love him and my mum a lot but he verbally calls me names and swears a lot more than mildly. this is usually in the heat of an
argument but the small things are in a little small disagreement. thanks!

devildog 18/07/2019 at 8:38 am

hi my wife was on the phone to my gradchildren mother and she told her and i heard her on the phone that she punched her 10y old hard and was worried that her daughter would tell her teacher .. the one that was punched is not my grandchild but i have 2 young ones age 3 to 5 by her .. i dont know if i should report it due to backlash i would get .. my wife works for a Charity against child bullying- abuse and i said she has i responsibility to protect , but my wife is good friends with the mother and not the grandchildren grandmother as this is my second marriage. I think if she can hit her eldest in temper then there is a possibility she might hurt the little ones .

many thanks

G 10/06/2019 at 9:01 pm

Is it illegal for a mum to hit their 15 year old female daughter with a slipper and it leave a bruise??

galaxiewolf 03/11/2018 at 7:31 am

would being hit with a wooden hairbrush be illigal?

daffy 11/09/2018 at 7:03 pm

When I was a child in the 70's my mother hit me if I was really naughty which was rare which as an adult I felt was justified at the time. I thought I would take the same approach to parenting, until my husband started hitting me. I was eventually hospitalised after my husband attacked me. Now I know that no amount of violence is acceptable in any situation. If I hit my daughter for doing wrong I would be no better than her abusive Dad. If he ever hit her I would go straight to the police. Violence against another human being whatever the relationship is wrong!

80schild 09/07/2018 at 9:45 am

I have 3 children and they go their dads every weekend. My youngest has come home with a red slap mark on her leg which occurred some three/four hours beforehand. Her father straight away said he did it. It was punishment for accidentally hitting her sister in the face with something after she had been told several times not to. To me the punishment does not fit the crime, my children get the occasional smack but never as hard to leave a mark and to be honest it’s not something I tend to do often. I find removing toys and early nights work for me.
The problem is this happened Saturday and it’s now Monday and the mark is still there and bruised. It’s the 2nd time it’s happened.
I don’t like to admit it but I don’t know what to do as I’m scared of him myself. I feel utterly useless, my youngest has behaviour issues and she is worse after she has been with him.
My 9 year old felt like she wanted to defend her younger sibling and was upset that she had to endure daddy hitting my youngest.
If I had my way he wouldn’t see them at all. I feel like I’m neglecting them by making them go to his when they have all stated they don’t want to go anymore. Advice please!

Cole 12/06/2018 at 3:14 am

Can you hit a child with a solid gold ring on your hand.

Alistener 01/06/2018 at 9:39 pm

That is just awful so you did the right thing to get away from him. Nobody has to ever endure anything that makes them unhappy or is abusive.
I grew up in a controlling home too so I totally understand how awful it makes you feel. What is good though is that it never dictates the rest of your life or who you become. In fact it makes you all the more determined to be in a happy environment and to do well in life. Good for you for getting away from that life!!!

Mrsfaz 26/05/2018 at 9:08 pm

I’m an LSA at a primary school, I work with my 3 year old in the same class all day, last Wednesday she was being particularly challenging and not listening to myself I asked for 2 other co workers to help me with her to which they both wouldn’t. In the end I finished my day to which she ran away from me so I caught her and tapped her to make her listen to me. My head of year saw and has reported me to the head teacher who in turn has reported me to social services as they say I used excessive force. I was on school premasis but there were no pupils or parents around and it was my own daughter. I’m now facing loosing my job. Where do I stand?

Ep 24/05/2018 at 5:08 am

My daughter lives with her father primarily. She recently had become depressed and withdrawn. When I asked her what was wrong she told me that her father has been slapping her in the face and using swear words at her. She is nine and says she has considered running away. I left her father because he was demeaning and abusive and now she is living in it too. What can I do? I live in WA

LawAndParents Editor 21/05/2018 at 10:40 am

Contact Childline on 080 1111 and tell them about your own experiences and those of your younger siblings.

TJ 18/05/2018 at 6:02 pm

I've been physically smacked by my parents all my life while being called all sorts of swear words which has affected my mental health a lot while having my ribs punched straggled by my dad when i was eating food and started to choke on it to then be thrown in my room along with having my head banged into a door and i'm now 17 with it still happening i have 2 younger brothers who get beaten if they do something wrong like not walking my dog when he's supposed to do and i'm fearing that it will only be getting worse what should I do as I've almost lashed out at my parents before but I know that's wrong.

Nak 09/05/2018 at 9:20 am

Hi, 2 days back my 5 yo son was playing with me, kind of pushing me in fun. And I have ankylosing spondylitis, an autoimmune of joints. I was in pain and telling him to stop but he dint listened. I lost my cool and slapped on his both cheeks, now he has got my 3 fingers mark on face. I said sorry to him. He is very nice child and we both are like friends but this mark is worrying me as we are not in UK for permanent and here I have heard child is taken away from you in some cases. Could you pls help. I haven't send him to school for 2 days.pls guide.

LawAndParents Editor 08/05/2018 at 2:21 pm

Talk to school staff and/or your GP. They will be able to refer her to further counselling, therapy etc. Perhaps there is something worrying her a great deal to make her behave this way and you will also need to rule out any involvement with drugs etc.

Unknown 06/05/2018 at 11:12 am

My daughter was given chores as a punishment for lying, stealing and hurting people. We have also got her counselling and help for why she done it. Yesterday she started writing nasty stuff down on paper to upset me and wouldn't do her chore. My partner took the papa way from her and said that it's not nice and there is no need for it and he would give her her pen etc once she was done with her chore. She then attacked him, she was punching and kicking him and he tried to restrain her but couldn't. I'm in a wheelchair and tried to pull her away to stop, she then beat me up. She is 15 and due to bullying we sent her to martial arts so she could protect herself, we never thought she would ever use in on us. She has said a simple sorry and has stayed in her room since. I know it sounds horrible but I actually don't want to see her at all atm. I want her to be OK and will never stop helping her but I don't know what to do about her hurting me. I will be bed bound for a long time due to this, any advice on how to help her and stop her doing this.

Rose1234 03/05/2018 at 9:18 pm

To the user called nameless I hope I can talk to you what you have been through is very smiler to my story your not alone and I would love to talk to you you made me cry and I hope your happy and you are beautiful the way you are and don’t tell anyone tell you otherwise please if you can reply and maybe we can talk

Singlemum 12/04/2018 at 9:31 pm

My son (5) has come home telling me his dad has slapped him, to cut a long story short, the school took over with questioning my son & referred it to social services. They rang me basically saying no further action is needed as it doesnt meet their threshold. They also said as theres an order in place, i cant just stop him from going (i wouldnt want to but also cant allow this) and would need to seek legal advice if it continues. It was left that they will send him a letter asking him to contact them as he was away. I rang them on mon & no one called back so chased it up today to advise that he was slapped on his last visit. She has now reopened a case & but they havent spoken to my ex & she said she needs to check with admin if they sent the letter (it doesnt sound like they did). Kids are due to go tmrw & i am very unsure of what to do?

LawAndParents Editor 09/04/2018 at 1:55 pm

You should tell a teacher or trusted adult about this, or call Childline

Leah 07/04/2018 at 5:54 pm

my mum smacks and hits me around the face everyday and I can’t take anymore

unicorn2000 28/03/2018 at 4:17 pm

is my mam allowed to smack me across the head coz i dropped something on the floor

LawAndParents Editor 09/02/2018 at 9:33 am

You should report this to NSPCC or social services.

Crisco 08/02/2018 at 12:26 am

My son in law which is my grandkids mothers boyfriend is always accusing my grandaughter of doing things to him he has walked in in her in bathroom slapped her in face always starting stuff with her she is 12 yrs old and always getting the blunt or accused if stuff thank you Nana

Badlandsbabe 05/02/2018 at 9:40 am

It's NEVER okay to hit a child. Hitting teaches hitting period, what else is it going to teach. If you, or someone else raise their hands out of anger & cross the boundary by striking anyone they're completely out of control & need to remove themselves immediately.
There is no justifiable reason to ever hit anyone. Because someone is frustrated, tired, upset etc... Go take a walk, go work out, Go outside, there's productive & postive ways to rid your frustrations in a healthy way, that's what adults do & if you don't know how to get a handle on your temper go get some help, go take parenting classes. Do NOT under any circumstances hit your child or allow anyone else to hit your child ever. Hitting is one of the worst things that people do & inorder to create peace & get a handle on violence in society, the hitting & all forms of abuse need to come to an end.

Worried mum 17/01/2018 at 11:40 pm

My ex partner that has always been fine with our children has recently changed since his mother died, he’s acting very angry around our 2 sons and has recently griped our 13yr old around the throat and smashed his phone because he wanted to come home to me as he was scared. Prior to this my son hasn’t wanted to spend time with his father for 7 months, where our other son is wanting to see his dad. He’s also accused our son of causing his depression which should never be put on a child, he was devastated. There’s plent more that been said and happened recently and I’m very concerned. Do you think it’s wise to tell social services

Abu 17/01/2018 at 4:31 pm

My patents hit me what should I do about it

Area 16/12/2017 at 4:48 pm

My brother once used a nylon belt to hit his child and it wasn't that forceful, this left no marks whatsoever and the child was fine afterwards. Prior to this, the child was shouting, swearing and hitting him. My brother has only just realised that a law has been passed which changes the way we deal with our children. He was none the wiser to this change. Since then, he has never used a belt.

Lou 13/12/2017 at 10:25 pm

When I was 10 year old my mum had drink problem she will beat me up I was black and blue teacher's at my boarding school saw marks on my body and called social services after that social worker called every week to school and my home my dad try to protect me against my mum my partner hit our 3 year old daughter because won't get dressed for school on her leg he hit her she steam cry I don't like my partner hit our 3 year old daughter and told her to keep out of his way I'm worried for her when I go in hospital to have my 2nd baby the way my partner was with our daughter my dont live near me my parents died a long time ago I don't know what to do ive been with my partner nearly 5 years I can see a social worker calling here sometime because our nosy neighbour who lives above us we live block of flats always phones to report other tenants about what goes on when she is noisy nuisance with her music on Lond in kitchen and dogs barking and moving table and chairs at 1am 1.30 am

LawAndParents Editor 12/12/2017 at 11:55 am

Yes it's a crime and you should make sure your child is safe. Call Childline on 0800 1111 or NSPCC 0808 800 5000

Batgirl 09/12/2017 at 10:37 pm

I really concern about this that has been going on for couple month
If my boyfriend slap in the face and head and kicks him in his bottom
Is a crime i was worried
And I have told him to stop and he never listen
Is it a crime that boyfriend hurts my child in that sort of way
Especial he is not the father of this child
I am really I am concern and worried about my child being scare and trauma by him

Zoeybee 18/11/2017 at 2:45 pm

If any teacher thinks they can even put there hands on my child then I'll assume it's ok for me to do the same .? That's what I am for I reprimand my child and if a teacher thinks they can I will do what I thinks nessecary to reprimand that teacher.same difference right?

junie 13/10/2017 at 5:46 pm

What would be the next step to take if the social services do not investigate fully. With what is happening to my grandsons due to my daughters boyfriend. I phoned nspcc about it they got in touch with social services. But closed the case in 3 days to what I have been told. I did ring them on Wednesday morning this week and no one as rang me back about it. It was lunch time on Wednesday that my daughter rang and said the case us closed. What can I do now, how else can I get evidence of what is happening.

LawAndParents Editor 09/10/2017 at 3:03 pm

We can't really advise on individual issues like this. It's really your call, you know your son and you know your ex partner. He phoned you and told you about it, so at least you know he's not trying to hide it from you.

Scared 08/10/2017 at 9:04 pm

Divorce Feb due to verbal domestic violence. My ex fort for shared care of our 4 year old who has mild disabilities and delayed development (attending mainstream school). The ex used to drink but through divorce did 3 month rehab to stop and declared he would never drink whilst looking after our son. This weekend our son was with his dad. I received a call from his dad to say our son had kicked another child so from instinct he slapped our son, his check was red but when I spoke to him it had settled. I am scared for my son, I know my ex has a temper he cannot control. He never touched me physically but broke things in the house and was abusive. I raised this in the divorce but he was not seen a threat to our child. Should I report to social services, I don't want to add any more friction than already there so only want to report if action will be taken. Thank you

LawAndParents Editor 12/09/2017 at 12:16 pm

The law on smacking is vague ("It is unlawful for a parent or carer to smack their child, except where this amounts to ‘reasonable punishment’"), but it's likely that an adult smacking a child's bare bottom would be considered indecent assault especially if he is not the biological father. Call the NSPCC helpline for advice.

junie 11/09/2017 at 5:23 am

Is it against the law for my daughters boyfriend to pull down my grandson trousers and under wear and then hit him with a slipper, after he has been told off and starts crying for his nanna and hits him harder fir crying.

Km86 08/07/2017 at 11:26 pm

Is it legal to restrain a child who has asd and becomes violent? My husband sons stepdad had to do this on my part recently as i was recovering from major surgery our son then ran off and has since told the police my husband beat him (i was in the room when this allegedly happened and he didnt at all) the police have now interviewed my husband under caution and told him he can be charged with assault for restraining him as it is illegal?? Where do we stand?

LawAndParents Editor 06/07/2017 at 9:29 am

As the article says "It is not illegal for a parent to hit their child as long as the ‘smack’ amounts to ‘reasonable punishment’. There is, therefore, a difference between punishment and what can feasibly be termed ‘abuse’. Unreasonable punishment is classed as a smack that leaves a mark on the child, or the use of an implement to hit the child, such as a belt or cane. "

Hmc12 03/07/2017 at 6:38 pm

Can you smack a child's hand for misbehaving when they ignore being told verbally? Leaving no marks or any lasting injury just literally a slap on the hand in the hope it alters the bahaviour. I've tried everything and just am not getting through to them and I get threats all the while saying things like hit me I will tell so I just really need to no what I can do that is legal that will make them reconsider there behaviours

Dicky 27/06/2017 at 11:13 pm

I have just found out my former partners new husband has been hitting my daughter this was seen by his own daughter who reported it to her mother who in turn informed me.what is my best course of action.

anon 17/06/2017 at 3:12 pm

Rachel-if your parents have treated you badly, courts can stop them looking after other children. If it is an order that allows the care of your brothers children then the courts don't have reason to believe they will be harmed. Hope this helps.
I believe smacking should be made illegal in this country and am swayed to work with organisations like NSPCC and Childline to stop the current reasonable law.

Daisy 04/06/2017 at 3:21 pm

I was charged with asolting my daughter will I get her back

Deedee 22/05/2017 at 5:34 pm

My grandsons father has him twice a week .he came home to tell us his dad had slapped him up the head and shouted at hi because he said he didn't want to eat his porridge. (He dnt like porridge).I'm nt happy about this should this be allowedra

LawAndParents Editor 23/02/2017 at 2:32 pm

If your grandson is being abused in this way, you need to do something. Can he come and stay with you for a short period while you try and sort something out? His safety is the main concern and no young person should have to suffer like this. Call the Family Lives helpline or perhaps the NSPCC or Childline to get some more initial advice without having to take action that might too dramatic. It may be that parenting classes or counselling can be arranged to help the parents and your grandson.

yvonne singleton 22/02/2017 at 8:20 pm

Please help. Theys a long story attached to this. Basically my oldest grandson has loads of problems very nervy etc., Tonight is the second time he has come to my house with severe red marks around his throat. There has been arguments all day in his house and one of his sisters aged 11yrs was deliberalty causing problems and my grandson broke her necklace. My son then practically strangled my grandson with his hoodie. I cant take much more as this is second time this has happened. Previous his mother punched him in the ribs and tbere were hand prints round his throat. My family dont want me to do anything. I cant I cant stand this abuse its stressing me out and I had to go upstairs to cry. Please help

dj 09/02/2017 at 8:00 pm

i get beaten all the time by someone i was told to call mom and swears at me in spanish.The last time i got beaten was for accidentally leaving tissue on the floor

WorriedFriend 17/01/2017 at 8:20 pm

I need some urgent advice for my friend who is going to a 'hearing' this week.
She has been charged with 'beating' her daughter. Basically she slapped her 17 year old daughter around the face, twice. She was extremely provoked, and believed her daugter to be hysterical. The 'witnesses' that called the police, refused to be witnesses, but egged the daughter on complain to the police. The daughter has since retracted her statement.
My friend is being told that she must plead guilty to beating, otherwise it will go to trial "and that would be worse"?. She has already been told she has been given bad advice by the police lawyer (telling her to say 'no comment' to everything) - but the solicitor might be able to 'turn things around' by telling the court that she had been given bad advice, and she has a good character - but surely once she pleads guilty, whatever the mitigating circumstances - she will get a criminal record??

Shamus 30/12/2016 at 1:02 pm

My ex wife is a school teacher.

My son told me he had to stay off school for 1 week because his mummy smacked him so hard leaving him bruised on his shoulder.

He is 10 and had to stay at home on his own for the full week.

This was also backed up by neighbours who rang to ask why he was alone in the house.

Chris 17/12/2016 at 2:16 pm

Maybe you could get his dad to put him across his knee and smack his backside hard. He sounds as though he needs to be taught some discipline

Nasty NIcker 14/12/2016 at 8:35 pm

Chin abuse is the worst kind of abuse, that and elbow abuse..

Racheal you should sue your grandparents for having you parents and them in turn having you and being so disappointed with you that they needed to abuse your big fat ugly chin...

Was the TV show you took them on the Crystal Maze? I can imagine that giving you a good kicking for getting 225 Gold and 127 Silver!

But just remember, that you don't abuse your own childrens chins! break the cycle!(Muddy Fox!)

LawAndParents Editor 14/12/2016 at 11:17 am

We really don't know the full circumstances of your situation here so we can't comment.

Rachel 13/12/2016 at 11:09 am

Hi I took my parents on a tv show, for chin abuse they admitted they did hit me when I stepped out of line, I'm now 30 this has effected me mentally and emotionally, they have a care order over my brothers children, is this right?

Peng 08/12/2016 at 9:19 pm

My 12 year old daughter has had a phone thrown at her face by her dad causing it to bleed. She also said he has been swearing at her in anger. What are my rights?

Had enough 08/12/2016 at 6:47 pm

My 5 year old child goes out of her way to upset other people and break things. Now you're thinking "that's preposterous she's only 5!"
Well let me elaborate, we have taken away her pens because she continuously draws on the wall/table/floor/sofa/dog/clothing, so the other day she decided she wanted to break her dads pen, then she approaches him and says "I broke your pen because I wanted to make you upset" litterally!
She's started to try and hit us, even screaming and throwing things it's nothing I've EVER seen a child her age do, like, it's full blown teenage RAGE! We don't know where it has come from as she has never been spanked, or even shouted at! Her father and I strive for a calm household but she's just getting worse and we just don't know what to do anymore! We don't want to spank her for the verbal abuse or constant lying, we can't preach enough that we don't want her to be spanked for her verbal abuse, we can only see it right to spank a child if they strike you first, thus not to encourage physical abuse.. but really.. what the heck do I do?!

LawAndParents Editor 30/11/2016 at 11:48 am

Your responsibility is to your children here. You could try social services, but might want to try the NSPCC helpline first for advice (sometimes they will contact social services on your behalf). They may be able to help your wife with suggestions for parenting classes/counselling/therapy.

NCB 29/11/2016 at 8:04 am

My wife hits my 18month old son. She loses control and repeatedly hits him in anger. The last two times he hasn't done anything to warrant it (climbed up on her knee and accidentally knocked an item of clothing to the floor). I pulled him away, he was screaming and told her never to hit our children to which I get the response "what are you going to do about it" and "I'll do what I like when you are at work, you can't stop me".

I am genuinely concerned, she needs help but I don't know where to turn.

LawAndParents Editor 23/11/2016 at 11:29 am

Let him cool down first before sending him a message to say you're sorry that you reacted in this way but your household can only operate if everyone contributes. Make sure he knows you love him. If he doesn't come back of his own accord, obviously you may have to contact the police. Can his father or another family member help to intervene?

Pixi 22/11/2016 at 7:26 pm

I have just slapped my 15yr old son round the face!!! Cant beleive i have allowed my sself to do that!! I just wanted to complete a job without a battle or nominating his brother, became argument about principles i am the parent you are the child
Argument escalated ànd he said i was terrible mum not fit to be a parent felt like stabbed me in my heart and i slapped him hard in face we ended up wrestling!!! He wanted to leave i wouldn't let him eventually he overpowered me and left!! Dont know what to do

LawAndParents Editor 17/10/2016 at 2:21 pm

Tell another responsible adult about this. It's not acceptable behaviour. You could also try childline on 0800 1111

Spicer 16/10/2016 at 2:48 pm

My dad slapped me round the face twice for nothing I hit him back because that's what I've been too to do all my life and he starts shouting and swearing at me and I don't like it it's not the first time he has hit me but he is heavy handed so he hits quite hard I have a red mark on my cheek

LawAndParents Editor 14/09/2016 at 12:27 pm

Why not keep an eye on the situation. If the step father moves back in, you could ask your ex wife if your daugher (and the boys if needed) can spend more/most of their time living with you. If an agreement cannot be made, you could consider applying for a court order for full residence etc (Court form C100).

PP68 12/09/2016 at 7:02 pm

Advice please. My 12 year daughter and her 2 brothers live with their mum and her husband of 2 years. The boys get on ok with the husband but my daughter really doesn't. They end up arguing confidently and her mother is always working so he has become the main cater. My daughter spends all her time in her too. Alone to keep away from him. On Thursday my ex-wife called and asked me to meet her. She explained that my daughter and her stepdad had an argument and he had left the house. My daughter went and got her mum from work and she returned to the house with her. Whilst there the stepdad returned and grabbed my daughter by the hair, pulled her into her room and told her to pack her bags and leave. My ex-wife and my 16 year old son witnessed this and intervened, throwing the step dad out. My ex-wife said that he would never be allowed near the children again, however she is now changing her mind. What are my rights, as I don't want him near my daughter !! Or any of my children really !

Kaycee 11/09/2016 at 5:12 am

Im beaten by my father when I come home late. Late as in 20minutes before curfew which is 6:00. He beats me with a this little stick that is green and flexible, it leaves lines on my body and sometimes bruises. On the 10th of September 2016, when all of this happened, he first slapped me twice and I fell to the floor. I picked myself up and went to my room. Then went to fetch that stick he uses and beat me with it. You should have heard me scream... While doing this, he also continued by kicking and calling me names. He says he deserves respect as the man of the house. It was so bad that my mother had to pull him off of me. And my brothers were watching all of this unfold. I live in SA...just so you know

Jennice harriott 21/08/2016 at 10:10 am

I hate my mother because she slapped me in the face and eye yesterday i wish she was dead

Lou 14/08/2016 at 9:22 pm

My daughter is 6 and she has gone to her dad for weekends ever since we split up 4 years ago. The past year he has met someone else with a 7 year old girl and they plan to get married next year. The relationship between the girls has been rocky and my ex husband always seems to side with the step child. This weekend he has smacked my daughter twice on the bottom as punishment for what seems to me as disagreements between the girls ( bearing in mind my child is a year younger) and what really worries me is he told my daughter not to tell me
I'm stuck at what to do, because if I say anything to him he will know my daughter told me and how will he treat her?

LawAndParents Editor 08/08/2016 at 2:47 pm

We really can't say what the best approach is unfortunately. Have you spoken to a solicitor?

Distressed 06/08/2016 at 8:45 am

I hope someone can help me. I was offered a caution for smacking my child with a flip flop, where no mark, or injury were sustained and I had no intention of harming my child beyond 'reasonable chastisement'. I refused the caution on these grounds and as I volunteer in a school, I know a caution will exclude me from obtaining employment in the future. The police waited over 5 months to contact me to say if I don't accept the caution the CPS will push to charge me with 'child cruelty'. I'm devastated and don't know what to do. If I accept the caution it will tarnish me for the future, but what is the likelihood for success of me fighting the charge in court, and would my child be forced to give evidence? Please help.

Scott 03/08/2016 at 8:44 am

Some of the statements here are outright ridiculous who do you think you are to tell someone how to discipline their child and all these people trying to blame their life problems on getting a smack well that's just pathetic grow up and take responsibility of your own life if you have PTSD it is due to abuse not smacking so to try and compare yourself to someone smacking their child is laughable and if you claim to have PTSD and all your parents ever did was give you a smack clearly you're just looking for an excuse to live of the government have an easy life and not be a productive member of society again grow up

MonkeyNut 07/07/2016 at 10:25 am

Yesterday I got a call from my childs school saying they are referring to social services due to my son disclosing about his gran (my mum) smacking him and calling him a dirty boy, he has accidents when he is excited or distracted which most children do anyway.
I do not smack and do not want others doing it either, he is disabled (asd and possible spd) and she had him every other week over night to give me a rest.
He has said a few things to me "granny said..." ect about his dad (who I am no longer with but we get on) and his Step dad (my husband) both of whom my mum doesn't like. He also also said things like he is going to live with his granny and never see mummy again. All of which I tried to handle but I never thought she would physically hurt him. myself and my mum don't really get on and never have but my son loves her and likes going, more recently not so as he says Granny makes him sad so I limited the contact they had. I am stopping it all together now and I'm angry, so so angry that she hurt my baby boy. I feel guilty and I should have known.
My question is will Social Services tell the police? Will they see me as failing my son for allowing him to have a relationship with her? Can I call the police?
I can keep my son safe now and he will never see her again I will make sure of it, but she works with disabled adults, if she can hurt her own grandchild in my mind she can hurt them to. Will the police do anything as he is her grandchild even though I don't want anyone smacking him? Will they question him (he doesn't like strangers and can get very upset and lash out)? I have all these questions in my head and can't sleep or eat, I want justice for my son.

annoyed123 06/07/2016 at 8:41 pm

My son claimed that he was slapped on the leg by a parent helper at his school whilst in a churcg service. The person in question has made it very clear that they didnt but my child wouldnt lie about this. If course the school has closed ranks because the person is a member of the PTA and has made it clear that they do SO much for the school. Where do i stand?

Gretee 30/05/2016 at 12:29 am

Being spontaneous and react in the moment your child does something truly unacceptable is very much necessary. Children needs to see and understand emotions, reactions and they also often testing their parents.
But it has to happen in the moment, with no intention of causing fear or pain to the child.

I think it's utterly important parents act spontaneosly and listen to their hearts instead of doing parenting by the books.

Nothing is black and white, i can imagine situations when it would be necessary, but i also truely believe that this should not happen often, it has a very positive affect if it's used in the proper way.

Situations in families where children get smacked frequently shows theres something wrong, but still i very much disagree with the idea of banning this by law.

I have a true story i'd like to share which i've heard at a pschycoligist's meeting. One of them had a female patient, it's her story. She was a single mom who used to have a good relationship with his son, but when her son became a teenager, 12 years old, he started testing her like teens do, so he said to his mother that he wanted to move to his dad. The lady became so heated and hurt that he started shouting "shut up" and hit her son. Then she said to the pschycoligist, that she was so worried, because after this happened instead of ruining their relship they had developed a brilliant connection with her son. This ment a lot to him, seeing his mom desperately scared of loosing him.
Then the pscychologist said to this lady, that she was lucky it happened before their session cause he would have never ever been able to advise her to do this because he'd risked to loose his license.

I believe that it's important to discuss the reasons why you smack your child, but if it happened in the moment they shall be aware already. And this is exactly why it can be a useful, honest and loving reaction.

Mumof3 27/05/2016 at 9:50 am

Hi I need advice. My 9 year old daughter is becoming out of control. Wednesday this week she was told off at school for attitude so decided to hop the gate and go walk abouts for half an hour till I found her. Then yesterday (thursday) she kicked off on her little sisters birthday because she was told not to talk to her like rubbish. She's been told numerous times in school that I'm not allowed to smack her which she throws at me when I tried sending her to bed an warned shed get a smack. She even run out of the door and i had to force her back in the house which she told me point blank I can't make her do anything so left her with the run of the house until 10 o clock last night keeping up her dad (step dad) her sister (5) an her baby brother (6 months) what can I do?

LawAndParents Editor 25/05/2016 at 12:24 pm

If the CPS decides there is sufficient evidence to proceed, your husband will be asked to attend court where he will be able to give his side of the story. At that point, you might need to seek the help of a solicitor.

Life falling apart h 24/05/2016 at 8:42 pm

I need help someone please. My husband smacked his son(my step son) on the bottom and left a bruise because his son was punching kicking and spitting at his brothers and sisters. Unknown to us he was already a child in need because of his mother...the social services came straight out and interview the children and found out my husband has never ever laid a finger on a child before...after a investigation child services have closed the case and satisfied that this was a isolated incident. But now the crown prosecution service are investigating and the ex partner says they are going to prosecute. What is going to happen to my family I'm so scared I've tried a lawyer but the said unless he is arrested for a offence they can not help.

LawAndParents Editor 20/05/2016 at 12:25 pm

Please email jmarshall@pts.com with full details of anything you feel is factually incorrect and why. We will certainly investigate and correct anything.

bob 17/05/2016 at 9:11 pm

Jack

Your comments are of course correct
The defense of "reasonable chastisement of a child" was established by a 18th century court precedent (i dont have the case name to hand) and in this case it was established that assaulting a child is only a defense if it amounts of reasonable punishment.

The definition you provided only states a level which is certainly illegal
it does not mean that less force than what is described in the statute is lawful.

I have noticed a number of other incorrect statements of law on this site and i cant seam to get a response from anyone about it

Realist 17/03/2016 at 11:33 am

I am not being funny reading
Some of these comments are just ironic, I for one believe that a smack is allowed of course not to regular but not out right abuse. I agree with one of the comments made in regards to children's disrespectfulness seems to be allowed nowadays because of such comments from children's organisations. A parent should be allowed to smack their child not beat or abuse big difference. every child is different and take to punishment differently hence as a parent you know which way is best to punish YOUR OWN CHILD simple. The comments made around other people abusing and hitting your family members 'grandchildren' if this is the case why are you and your family allowing the children to see that particular family meme bet or why are you guys not doing nothing about it sitting here complaining over a computer is not going to help your children/grandchildren.

Thadz 19/02/2016 at 9:16 pm

When I was a child I was beaten alot by my parents and I never liked it, several times I told my parents that its against the law for adults to hit their own children but they never listened at all. I really don't like it when parents hit their children. No parent should hit their children at all as it spoils the children by teaching them to hit other people. When I was beaten I was also threatened of being thrown out of the house. I still remember when my dad badly hit me few days before my parents got separated, on that day my dad hit me because I wouldn't eat, when I wouldn't eat my dad spilt curry on my head and threatened to kill me whilst he was attacking me. Hitting children is a very nasty way of punishment, whether its smacking, using an object such as a shoe or stick or even pulling the ears. I am against hitting children and I will always be.

tuned in to common s 02/02/2016 at 10:29 am

it is about common sense and instinct. there is no "categorically it must be this way" or "...that way" - hopefully the warning of a smack, after repeated other warnings, should be enough. my children watch their childminder use far too much violence on her children, the woman gets completely carried away. there are other parents who use the occasional smack after thinking it through and communicating well with the child. Any parent should be in tune with whether their actions are causing trauma to their child. If trauma is caused social servives and police are there. If the dialogue is clear and the child sees it as a completed punshment then a smack can be acceptable. what is worse than smacking is making your child grow up feeling guilty and therefore unworthy - that and smacking are no mutually exclusive of course

toofair 11/01/2016 at 9:04 pm

Hello ,

My 11yr old son called me back 22nd Oct, screaming that he had been smacked and punched in the head by his mother, a name I no longer think she deserves. Anyway, the school Pastoral care team checked him when I managed to get him to go to school. They put an ice pack on his face to ease the swelling, noted the red hand print on his cheek. Then they called in the Police and Social Worker. My ex wife was called in to explain why she smacked him across his face so violently and punched his head as she dragged him down the stairs and told him to get lost. Nobody took any photos, when I got an urgent court date where I live the judge decided that even though I only put what information I was given, I exaggerated so my sons were ordered back to their mother. I have been so busy since then with trying to see my boys. Now I am so feckin angry that she was not charged with assault, even with the school and SW agreed that he had a red hand print. I would love to have that judge and the police investigated

Concerned 16/12/2015 at 7:45 pm

I do not ,and have never tolerated smacking a child. My Mum who bought 4 of us up as a single parent never had any reason to hit us. What I don't understand is those parents who feel it necessary to smack a young child, no older than 2, who has run ahead (this happened this evening) she slapped her across the face. I shouted at her to stop... I got the mind your own f..ing business screamed at me. To me, she didn't need to do this. That little girl doesn't understand the danger of running ahead, she doesn't understand getting slapped across the face. I'm very much for a ban on any strike to a young persons head. It disgusts me.

nanny sad 07/12/2015 at 5:40 pm

i smaked my grandson on his face with the tip of my fingers social worker and two police csme tp daughters house and said i will have to go to the polce statiin following wk social service droped it i admited i smaked him they interveid me recorded conversation and they cslled me a lyer ans said i rold them i smaked his hand i did not but know i had a call tpday and said its going tp court when they were at my daughters they said there was two wittness but at station therr 3 im so up set and scared as its my word agsinst theres please help me wot can i dp

Uk1984 21/11/2015 at 2:58 am

No it should not be banned. It's a smack not a beating. Bloody do gooders are the reason kids today are disrespectful and have no morals or manners. Get out of fairy land and learn to discipline your kids

LawAndParents Editor 20/08/2015 at 9:52 am

If you are unhappy with the response from the police or social workers, you might want to consider making a complaint to encourage further investigation. Guidelines for police complaints are here and the process for Local Government (social services) complaints is here. You could also consider contacting on of ther child protection charities such as NSPCC or Childline.

iloveu 19/08/2015 at 9:08 am

My daughters ex partner hits or I should say punches my grandchildren he punched my 9yr old grandson on the face last week and my 14yr old grandson numerous times (the 14yr old does not want to be near his dad at all now) he also slapped my 9yr old across the face and left 3 marks my daughter phoned the police and the social workers and what was done NOTHING. He gets away with abusing my grandchildren over and over again I have also got a 2 and a half yr old granddaughter who he is allowed to see every week. What happens when he hits her? NOTHING again she said daddy hit me daughter phoned the social workers AGAIN and he still got away with it. Does one of my grandchildren have to be in hospital or worse still killed before the social workers will get off there butt and do something. My daughter is at her wits end because she as a mother can,t protect her children she cannot eat or sleep when they are with him. Anybody with any advice how to stop this abuser?

MANG 06/08/2015 at 7:07 am

It is wrong for the state to teach parents how to raise their children. I don't believe there is someone out there who would love my child more than I do. Children are gift for God that is given to parents to raise and every parent has the ability to understand their child better so if they think it is appropriate to smack them for discipline, none should be preventing this. I will vote for smacking for discipline not beating. Imagine to be interviewed by the police and even arrested because of trying to correct/discipline your child? This is wrong, and the most person to grow up with guilty conscience is the child involved because of thinking that she/he made arrested his dad/mum. It distroy the relationship between parent.

apple joe 02/07/2015 at 7:36 pm

I would vote against smacking again and again, it is horrible and is a form of bulling, isolation should be used, but violence against somebody smaller than you is a terrible punishment, gadgets like iPads, games, and phones should be taken away. I am very much against force.

Flash 29/05/2015 at 5:45 pm

I was beaten sometimes as a child. Sometimes with the bare hand and sometimes with an implement eg. A slipper usually. Never a belt. I learnt a quick sharp lesson and it did teach me not to do whatever I did wrong again. I think if you are going to discipline your child with force you shouldn't be too rough and should always explain the reason why you had to discipline them. Therfore teaching. I discipline my children as much as they have to be. I never use implements and only slap them gently as not to leave a mark so it's legal. I think that if you balance your punishment between physical and verbal you will have the best and most effective way of disciplines.

Loving dad 23/05/2015 at 12:12 am

I was smacked as child and I have no concerns with it. My mum did not have the ability to discipline any other way. When I got to my teens she tried to talk to me, reason with me, and she drove me crazy. She didn't understand how to apply any other form of discipline. I remeber very clearly around the ages of 16 with mum sitting on the side of my bees for 2 hours, going over and over the same thing and driving me crazy. I literally pleaded for her to smack me and get it over with. Met up with my sister recently who had moved to Australia and she had the same experiences. The strange thing about this concept of "abuse" is the concept that people who can't apply reasonable physical punishment, will actually have the Bility to know when they are causing mental abuse. When you remove smacking with many of these parents, they will potentially cause more damage with words. Listen I know some parents go overboard. When I was around five a demolished a greenhouse. ( I sound like a wee ripper, but was too young to understand what I was doing) my mum smacked me a lot, and apprently several hours later when dad came home I was still glowing red. This by all purposes was child abuse. My mum looks back to that time with so much regret. I can't remember it at all. I know my mum loves me, and she deos so much for me. I never ever felt unsafe and that event never happened again. ( and I never demolished a green house) what would have devastated me would have been losing my mum becuase she made a mistake. I was smacked many times after that, and can't remember any specific event. I remember when it stopped when she went to smack me and and I caught her hand. She said let go and I said no. Your goung to smack me lol. What I do remember however was the torturing talks, when she tried to reasonably discipline me. After one teenage event, I ran away from home. Removing smacks will not solve the problem. Education will, and with proper education people learn what is appropriate. Please be real and see what is on tv folk. You think not smacking a child is going to educated a child about violence when we glamourise it ever day on our boxes. I use a wide range of disciplines with our kids. I occasionally smack, I use the naughty step, and use rewards Charts. All those methods are crap if I don't love my child. Tonight my child said a prayer before bed, and he thanked God for his kind Dad who loves him so much. This was one hour after I had to discipline him. (Not a smack) but he knows that is an option. Right now however removing xbox is the biggest thing for him. Listen all kids are different and all parents have different skills. If you going to apply a law to protect children from abuse the next step will be to stop verbal absue too. There will be many conflicted shrinks, who are dealing with kids with mummy and daddy issues. Where will it end?

stace 06/03/2015 at 11:09 pm

I'm well mannered, but traumatised from the few occasions I was smacked, I remember these occasions very vividly, funny I don't remember what I did wrong!!! Such an effective form of punishment!! X

DedicatedDad 24/02/2015 at 1:30 pm

I personally believe all violence begets violence, my wife smacked my child once and i never allowed it again.

What right has anybody got to smack anybody, a grown adult smacking someone sometimes only a quarter their size. Its just a form of bullying even if it is to correct undesirable behaviour.

Put to a vote il vote to ban smacking children every time

Miss A. H. 06/02/2015 at 2:05 pm

I still believe smacking a child is fine with reasonable force and good reason i.e. the child has done something dangerous and they know it's dangerous and wrong such as playing with matches/fire. I don't believe in beatings. I was a child who received beatings by my violent mother. I may have done some things wrong but other things were due to that I didn't have/want to give her money that she wasn't entitled to. I gave her my keep for the month and she severely beat me to the point I went into shock and couldn't breathe. I was told to shut up and stop exaggerating. These were the final days my father seen as 'the last straw' before he divorced her for her gambling habits, violence and temper. This woman bashed me in the head with her fists and punched me with heavy duty rings on her fingers and slapped me so hard. I think a smack is a short sharp shock lesson i.e. to the hand/ forearm or bottom which shouldn't leave bruises, grazes or marks which the child will learn from. Anything above a smack, the parent should be arrested! My mother would have went to jail if I had the courage to go to the police. If children are never ever smacked, they will never understand consequences of anything and will think life is a game from a young age. I have a son now. If he does something very wrong and dangerous he will receive a small smack and be told off and taught about his wrong doings but I don't believe in beatings! It's vile!

LawAndParents Editor 20/01/2015 at 12:51 pm

@LouisT. This seems like more than a simple smack and is illegal in the UK - it sounds like something that should be reported to the police. Also your 16 year old is understandably protective of his sister and he should not be put in the situation where he might use violence and end up in trouble for doing so.

Louis T 16/01/2015 at 10:12 pm

My son has been smacked once as a child and I bitterly regret that. However, he is now a sixteen year old with a sense of his own mind, his own path and does well at school. My daughter was only ever smacked by her step dad and her mom. Her step dad thinks nothing of dragging her by her hair and slapping her arm or throwing her to the ground. Violence is his only solution. My daughter is a small 13 year old, my son a tall 16 year old. He tried it on my son and he faced him down. He's not afraid of him but he's terrified for his sister. I have no idea what to do because both kids love their mom. Also they don't exaggerate, or make things up. My daughter is an excellent student with many extra curricular school activities and well respected for her good manners and behaviour by her teachers.
I feel useless.

pablo 07/01/2015 at 2:05 pm

My x wife hates me like a dose of poison and to cut a long story short. because I told my 15 year old daughter off. and she went back to her mum and told her some kind of story that says I abused her. her mum made her write a statement and it got handed in to her school and the school handed it on to the police. and they have come knocking on my door and you know what next could happen. I could be looking at 5 years behind bars for something I never did. maybe I should of smacked her then if I get put away I get put away for the right reason children nowa days don't understand the harm they are doing it's all one big joke to them and before anybody says I must of done something to my x wife. she did the dirties on me and after a few months wanted to come back. yeah right REJECTED if I say I was her passport to this country most of you will understand and now she even has the child against me. I as a child was badly abused and I promise myself that this is where the chain breaks but now it's making me wonder is sitting down and talking to them taking their stuff away grounding is it working?

mandapops Editor 04/08/2014 at 12:49 pm

@Sadia. I know you don't want to lose your mom but you need to help her learn this is not the way to treat kids especially a 2 year old. Could you try finding out about parenting classes or tell a teacher? you've notsaid how old you are.

beesknees Editor 25/07/2014 at 12:30 pm

@Tanska91...you cannot state for sure that it was the smacking that moulded you into a well mannered person. I was never smacked and am well mannered and polite.

Tanska91 25/07/2014 at 12:27 pm

I was smacked as a child, and i am grateful to my mother, she has moulded me to be a well mannered, polite and caring individual.
Now as a mother myself to 3 children, i wont smack my children. Not because i think its cruel, but because i am terrified to get my children removed and myself labelled as abusive. I can see a clear difference between different generations behaviour, my children and other children know that an adult can not smack a child.

My daughter (who was 3 at the time, who has a wild imagination) told her nursary teachers i had smacked her across her face. Before i knew it police and social services were at my door. I was arrested on suspicion of child abuse, the children had to stay with family members. I protested my innocence, i had never smacked my kids. They all believed an over active imagination of a 3 year old child. In the end, the charges and case was dropped because of insufficient evidence, but the social services remained with us for a considerable amount of time.

That incident terrified me! So no, i don't punish my children using smacking. I know how damaging it can be- even when wrongly accused. But that doesn't mean i don't agree with it, after all, maybe if i did spank my daughter when she used to lie, maybe i wouldn't have been in that situation in the first place.

wicked Editor 22/07/2014 at 10:37 am

@Dean - bit of a generalisation there. Not all kids today grow up to be hooligans and they're not all smacked either so there's no correlation surely?

Dean 21/07/2014 at 1:32 pm

I was smacked as a kid and it never did me any harm! I grew up to be a polite and well-mannered young man and kids these days will probably grow up to be unruly hooligans

sean 18/12/2013 at 5:03 pm

it is stupid and pathetic that you cant discipline your children any more,, the reason children show a lack of manners and good behaver in school and at home is because parents have there hands tied on punishments and schools haven't got a clue about dealing with children,,, at-least when we had the Cain and corporal punishment a child behaved ,, 25-35 years ago you saw children who were well mannered and well behaved ,, the reason for this is because a child then had an understanding of discipline and respect for elders,, because they knew after just one dose of punishment what to expect if they misbehaved again ,, why should i a 20 year old parent have to be diagnosed as clinically depressed,, just because our combined government has decided that it should be illegal to even give your child a slap on the wrist witch is now called common assault by the way,, how the hell would they know how to bring up a child when they just pay someone els to do it for them,, easy to do when you are for eg, Cameron who has multiple million pound properties round the uk,, like he has ever dealt with a misbehaving child,,,, bring back the cain in schools,, bring back corporal punishment at home because i guarantee that if everybody did then we would once again see children who are well spoken , well mannered aswell as very pleasant to be around in comparison,, this is just the view of one person if people disagree with my view, fine,, dont bother with negative responses to this because i wont reply.

Jack 12/05/2012 at 5:33 pm

"Unreasonable punishment is classed as a smack that leaves a mark on the child, or the use of an implement to hit the child, such as a belt or cane." I wrote to Law and Parents last year pointing out that I believe this statement is not factual, but have had no response.

As I understand, it is only true in Scotland, since October 2003. In the UK, The Children Act 2004, section 58 specifies that the defence of "reasonable punishment" cannot be used in cases where ABH, GBH or cruelty are involved but makes no mention of the use or otherwise of an implement for punishment. There have been subsequent attempts to tighten the law further but none of these have been enacted.

As the articles on the site are "written by highly trained family law experts" I am sure you have a high concern to present legal facts correctly and would be pleased to hear if there was room for improvement in one of your articles. I trust you will either change the wording or point out where I am wrong if that is the case.

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